


When Worlds Collide

by Destiels_Celebrity_Status, Destiels_Desperate_Measures



Series: Collide Saga [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Castiel, Bottom Dean, Car Accidents, Consensual Underage Sex, Dom Castiel, Dom/sub, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Drug-Induced Sex, Drunk Sex, F/F, Football Player Dean, Foster Care, Just kidding nobody dies, M/M, Masturbation in Shower, Musician Castiel, Mutual Masturbation, Not anyone important anyway, Oral Sex, Please Don't Hate Me, Please Don't Kill Me, Possible Character Death, Recreational Drug Use, Smartass Castiel, Sub Dean, THE RAPE IS ONLY MENTIONED, Top Castiel, Top Dean, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, possible Overdosing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-04-20 01:10:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 20
Words: 108,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4767917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiels_Celebrity_Status/pseuds/Destiels_Celebrity_Status, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiels_Desperate_Measures/pseuds/Destiels_Desperate_Measures
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas is probably the smartest kid in school. He's also goth, and plays in a band. In public, he's a different person than when he's home. Charlie, his best friend is the only one that knows Cas' real story. When his crush Dean Winchester, captain and quarterback of the football team is switched to his drama class, Charlie invites Dean to hear Cas' band. Will Cas confide in Dean and tell him his secret? Or will Dean find out by himself what really happens behind Cas' closed doors?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nerds

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, So I deleted the first one I posted by accident instead of just making modifications on here...so...whoops. My bad guys. Anyway, feel free to comment as always! 
> 
> And if someone can tell me how to get pictures on here...that would be great.

 

_**It's better to be** _

_**absolutely ridiculous** _

_**than absolutely** _

_**boring** _

**-Marylin Monroe**  

 

"Dean Henry, get out of bed! You have an early practice remember?" He opened his eyes and groaned. He looked at his clock. 5:30 am. "Shit!" He got out of bed and walked to his closet, grabbing his jersey and a plain white t-shirt then to his dresser and grabbed a pair of jeans, socks, and boxers. He got dressed and made his way downstairs. Where there was a glass of orange juice, two toaster pastries, and a protein bar waiting for him. He downed the orange juice and grabbed the food. Then walked over to the kitchen table and grabbed his backpack and keys. Taking a bite of a toaster pastry, he slipped on his shoes and opened the front door. "See you at the game!" He called to his mom. He walked down the path to the driveway. He got in the Impala his mom had bought him for his sixteenth birthday. He started the car, letting it idle just so he can hear it for a moment. He would never get tired of hearing his baby pur. He smiled and backed out of the driveway. He popped a mixtape of 80's rock and headed to school.

\-----------------------------------------------

The alarm on his phone which played "To The End" by My Chemical Romance went off. He groaned and rolled over. He sang along for a second before shutting it off. He ran his fingers back and forth through his already messy black hair. He unlocked his phone and scrolled through his music. He decided on the Sex Pistols. Practically dancing to the music, he walked to his dresser and picked out a From First To Last long sleeve shirt band shirt. He bit his lip ring as he grabbed two pairs of Tripp pants and threw them on the bed. He couldn't decide so he walked over to his phone. He paused the music and dialed his best friend Charlie. "What up Cas?" Cas fell back onto his bed. "Help!" He groaned. She laughed. "Send me a pic." He got up and took a picture of the two pairs of pants and sent it. He heard her phone buzz. "Okay, what shirt are you wearing?"

"From first to last. The long sleeve one."

"Then go with the purple straps."

"You're a genius."

"It's been said. Now get dressed and get your fine ass to school."

"You wish."

"Eat me Cassie."

"Blow me red."

They hung up and he got dressed. He grabbed his messenger bag and went downstairs. His parents had already left, or never came home, so he pretty much always had the house to himself. He ate a bowl of cereal and hurried out the door. He opened the broken down garage door and walked over to his motorcycle. Taking his keys out of his pocket, he swung his leg over and started it. He pulled his ear buds out of his other pocket and put them in his ears. He scrolled through his music and settled on Theory of a Deadman and put his helmet on. He pushed off and took off down the driveway. Not bothering to stop and close the garage door. There was nothing worth stealing anyway. Except his bike and they obviously can't steal that at the moment. He pulled in to the school parking lot and parked next to Charlie's VW bug. She was sitting on the hood. He took his helmet off then paused his music. "Hey Red." He said putting the kickstand down. She turned her head to see him. "Hey love." He smiled. Before they both came out, everyone thought they were a thing. Some people still do. Maroon 5 was playing from the speakers in her car. "Forever teasing me about the fact I used to have a crush on Adam." She smiled sweetly. "I don't know what you're talking about." He rolled his eyes and leaned in the window to turn it up. He opened the back door and grabbed his guitar that he always had her put in there. He opened the case and pulled it out. He put his favorite pick between his teeth. "Change it to another one." He told her. She got up and leaned in the car to change the song. He was preparing to play whatever it was. And the next song was Sunday Morning by Maroon 5. He looked at her. She shrugged and laughed. He sighed and put the guitar down. This used to be one of his favorite songs. He started singing and dancing with her through the whole song. 

About half way through some of the kids stopped and stared. Some laughed and pointed. But Cas really didn't care. He was just trying to have some fun with his best friend. When the song was over Charlie leaned in the car and turned the music down. "You're crazy Novak." She laughed. He smiled and shrugged. He put his guitar back in her car. She rolled up the window and locked it. Cas put his arm around her and they walked into the building. "So, band playing tonight?" She asked. He looked down and smiled then looked at her. "Of course, it is Friday after all." He replied. She smiled and nodded. "Can't wait." Charlie always showed up at his concerts. Cas is the lead singer and guitar for a cover band he and a few of his friends formed in the eighth grade. They were even in the talent show at the end of the year. They played "All the small things" By Blink 182. They walked down the hall to their lockers. They were only a few lockers away from each other, so they could still talk. "What are you playing tonight?" Charlie asked. Cas unlocked his locker and opened it. "Seether, Mayday Parade, MCR, Dead By Sunrise, From First To Last, and The Summer Set." He replied as he dug out the books he'll need for his morning classes. "Oh! What songs?" She asked excited. He looked at her and smiled.

"Nope. Not telling." She pouted and resumed her business in her locker. He closed his messenger bag and looked at her. "Alright. I'll tell you one song." She perked up. "Can I guess?" He rolled his eyes and closed his locker. "Do I have a choice but to let you?" He asked. She closed her locker. Cas offered his arm and they walked arm and arm down the hall.

"Who are you opening with?"

"Dead By Sunrise."

"Into you?"

"Nope."

"Damn. Crawl back in?"

"Correct."

"Yay! Who's next?"

He sighed. "Nope. That's all you get Red."

\------------------------------------------

Cas, Charlie, and Meg were on the stage having a three way light-saber fight. You wouldn't think there would be a such thing as "Advanced Drama" but there it. You just have to audition for it or in very few cases, be switched to it by the teacher. Light from the hallway poured into the dimly lit auditorium. That usually meant Mr. Fergus (He let the students call him Crowley) had entered. He was a short British man with a beard, and he always wore a black suit. Cas, Charlie, and Meg continued with their light-saber fight. "All right you three. Don't kill each other." Cas looked at him and stowed his light-saber. Charlie hit Cas in the shoulder with hers. He brought his back out. "Oh that's it Red! Prepare to meet thy doom!" Charlie ran and jumped off stage. Cas followed her. They ran around the auditorium yelling and laughing like little kids. "All right, calm down Castiel. We have a new arrival." Cas and Charlie stopped and looked at each other. Their faces lit up. It was a rare occasion when someone switched from drama four to advanced.

"New arrival?" They said in unison. At the beginning of the year Cas came up with the idea to greet the so called "New Arrival" like the characters from Tim Burton's "Corpse Bride". Meg ran backstage and grabbed a bell and started ringing it. "New arrival! New arrival!" They all gathered around Crowley and the new arrival. "Gang, meet Dean Winchester. I felt he would be better off here." Charlie looked at Cas who stopped. "What's your crush doing here?" She teased. It was true. Cas had been crushing on Dean for awhile. He looked at Charlie. "Shut up." He joined the group, determined to not let it show. "Where is Cas?" Crowley looked at his students. Cas pushed his way through. He stood right next to Dean. "Ah! Good. Dean, this is Castiel. He'll show you the ropes." The class settled down into their work. "Alright. So we are performing monologues starting today. I'm sure Crowley will let you go last. It can be from any play, book, or movie." Cas explained as he and Dean sat down. "What's yours?" Dean asked. Charlie was sitting right behind them. "He's doing Aragorn's Black Gate speech from Return of The King." She replied. Cas looked at her.

"Wow! My voice changed for a second!" He teased. Charlie shoved him playfully. "Ha ha."

"Lord of The Rings is the best trilogy ever." Dean chimed in. Charlie and Cas looked at him. Cas narrowed his eyes.

"What's the name of Sauron's tower?"

"Beradur."

"What did Aragorn say to Frodo when Frodo asked if he would take the ring?"

"I would have gone with you to the end. Into the very fires of Mordor."

"What did Tolkien say about the title 'Return of The King'?"

"He didn't want that to be the title because it gave the ending away."

"Oh he's good." Charlie said. Cas shifted in his seat. He still had his blue eyes on Dean. Dean just sat there, waiting.

"What was the color of Bilbo's door?" Cas asked. Dean shifted then moved closer to Cas. They were about a foot apart.

"Green."

They stayed like that for what seemed like a few minutes, but in reality it was only about twenty seconds. "Cas. You're up." Crowley said. Cas slowly stood up, not taking his eyes off Dean. Dean put his feet up on the back of the seat of the chair in front of him, putting his hands on the back of his head. He kept his eyes on Cas and smiled, satisfied. Cas flicked his eyes to Charlie who shrugged. He walked up to the stage. There was once a time when Cas was afraid to stand on stage and speak or even sing. Charlie helped him break out of his shell. Well her, his social worker and his caseworker. He looked at the class and began walking back and forth on the stage. He pulled out his light-saber, using it as a prop sword. 

_Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me._

_A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day._

_An hour of wolves and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down, but it is not this day._

_This day we fight! For all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West!"_

He held the light-saber in the air. Everyone rose to their feet and cheered, including Dean. "Cas has a band. They play every weekend at The Underground. Since you passed his test, you should come." Dean looked at her as Cas jumped off stage. "Cas has a band?" "Yes. I do." Charlie gave him a high five. Dean looked at Cas who put his light-saber in his bag. "You any good?" Dean asked. Charlie scoffed. "The best band in the county. Gotten some fame on YouTube as well. I record each concert and post it. The channel has, what? One hundred thousand subs as of Monday?" Dean whistled. "How long have you been in the band?" "Two years." "What do you do in the band?" Cas wagged his eyebrows at him and took his seat. "Lead vocals and guitar." He replied. Dean nodded. Charlie put her chin on the back of Cas' chair. "Are you two going to the game tonight?" Dean asked in a whisper. Meg had just taken the stage. "We go to all the games. My band doesn't play until after the game anyway." Cas replied. He watched Meg as she said her monologue. Dean kept looking at him through the corner of his eye for the rest of the class.

 

He looked over at the stands. Cas and Charlie decided to stay and watch the whole game. Dean smiled. "Red eighty-five!" He yelled. His teammates moved into position. "Red eighty-five!" He looked back and forth down the line to make sure his guys were in the right place. He looked down. "Hut!" The ball was snapped. He caught it and took three wide steps back. He couldn't find Cole and he was in danger of being sacked. He tucked the ball under his arm and ran. Benny and Cain guarded him until they got taken down. Dean was faster than people thought. He was well ahead and pretty much walked it in for a touchdown. The crowd jumped to their feet and cheered. Dean took off his helmet and raised it above his head, smiling. His team gathered around him and patted him on the back, shoulders, and head. He looked at the clock. Just enough time for one more play. He ran over to the coach. The both looked at the clock, then at each other. "Think you got one more in you Winchester?" Dean looked at the bleachers to see Cas and Charlie were dancing with the band music. He laughed then looked back at the coach. "Yes sir."

The took the field once more. He turned and looked at Cas again as he made his way to the huddle. He said the play and they lined up. The game was tied. The crowd was silent. Dean looked back and forth as he called his play. "Hut!" The ball was snapped. Cole ran behind him. Dean acted like he pitched the ball to him. He looked for Benny but Benny had been tackled. Dean ran forward a few steps then jumped as high as he could over the sea of players. He flipped over them and landed on his stomach still holding the ball. The whistle blew. The referee threw his hands in the air, signaling a touchdown. Dean jumped up and took his helmet off, then threw it to the ground. "Hell yeah!" Cole yelled. Benny and Cole picked Dean up and set him on their shoulders. They had won the last game of the regular season. They were going to the playoffs.

\--------------------------------------

Dean followed Cas who was on his motorcycle. Charlie was riding with Dean. "Doesn't he get cold? I mean, it's what? Forty degrees out?"

"It keeps him awake and alert. He'd rather not fall asleep on his bike after a long day." Charlie replied. Dean nodded. When they arrived, Cas grabbed his guitar from the Impala. "Thanks for bringing it." "No problem. Do you ever think to leave it here?" "No way. My real mom gave me this." He said as they walked around back. He didn't realize what he said at first until Dean said: "Real mom? You don't live with your real mom?" Cas stopped and looked at him for a second. Charlie looked between both boys. "Uh, no. I don't." He looked at his feet and started walking to the back door. Charlie nudged Dean. When Dean looked at her, she shook her head. Warning him not to continue with the conversation. Of course. Charlie knew everything about Cas. Maybe Cas would tell him someday. Cas opened the door and held it open for them. Charlie went first, giving Cas a curtsy as she passed. Cas smiled and bowed. "M'lady." "Thank you good sir." Dean smiled and shook his head. As he past Castiel, he gave Cas a Jack Sparrow salute. Charlie looked at Cas. Cas returned the salute with a smile. Charlie let Dean go in front of her. She looked at Cas and smiled. She nudged him playfully. "Shut up." He blushed. They walked down the stairs to the music store. There were people everywhere. Dean had never been here after hours before. Instead of his Letterman football jacket, he chose the leather jacket his mom got him for his birthday that year. Dean and Charlie paid the five dollars and walked through a small hallway that opened up to a huge room with a large stage. People were patting Cas on the back and ruffling his hair as he passed. Charlie turned to Dean. "Welcome to his world." She winked. Cas walked behind the stage to what Dean assumed to be the dressing room. Charlie led Dean to the front of the stage. "Uh, I don't know about being this close." She rolled her eyes. "Grow a pair Winchester. The back is for losers." Ten minutes later, Cas took the stage with his band. Charlie screamed next to Dean. He almost jumped. Cas looked around the room before strapping on his baby blue fender guitar. He smiled. "What's up fuckers?!" The crowed roared. "We are 'Join The Hunt'! Now shut the fuck up and enjoy!" He started playing his guitar. Dean could tell it was a fast paced song. A few seconds later, the rest of the band joined in. "This song is called Crawl Back In"

_**Sometimes I look at my own face** _

_**And I don't know who I am** _

_**I see a piece of everyone I know** _

_**Buried underneath my skin** _

_**I don't want to be like them** _

_**I want to crawl back in** _

_**It's hard to think of anything that I haven't heard before** _

_**I hear these voices in my head** _

_**They could be mine but I'm not sure** _

_**I hear them telling me who they think I should be** _

_**Why won't they leave me alone** _

_**I can't deny it I try to fight it** _

_**But I'm losing control** _

_**I don't want to be like them** _

_**I want to crawl back in Don't want to lose my innocence** _

_**Don't want the world second guessing at my heart** _

_**Won't let your lies take a piece of my soul** _

_**Don't want to take your medicine** _

_**I want to crawl back in** _

_**Sometimes I lie** _

_**Sometimes I crawl** _

_**Sometimes I feel like I want to die** _

_**I don't want to be like them** _

_**I want to crawl back in** _

_**Don't want to lose my innocence** _

_**Don't want the world second guessing at my heart** _

_**Won't let your lies take a piece of my soul** _

_**Don't want to take your medicine** _

_**I want to crawl back in** _

_**I want to crawl back in** _

Dean watched Cas play and sing. He looked like he didn't have a care in the world when he was singing. He looked at Dean every so often and Dean would smile at him. He sounded like a mix between Chester Bennington and Adam Gontier, smooth and rough at the same time. It gave Dean chills, in a good way. Cas had a gift. He was good at playing his guitar and singing. Scratch that, he was amazing at both. The crowd yelled and cheered. Cas went right into the next song. "This song is by Chevelle. This is 'Send The Pain Below.'"

_**I liked, Having hurt,** _

_**So send the pain below,** _

_**Where I need it.** _

_**You used to beg me, To take,** _

_**Care of things,** _

_**And smile at the thoughts,** _

_**Of me failing.** _

_**But long before, Having hurt,** _

_**I'll send the pain below,** _

_**I'll send the pain below.** _

_**Much like suffocating,** _

_**Much like suffocating,** _

_**Much like suffocating (I'll send the pain below)** _

_**Much like suffocating (I'll send the pain below).** _

_**You used run me away,** _

_**All while laughing,** _

_**Then cry about that fact,** _

_**Til my return.** _

_**But long before,** _

_**Having hurt,** _

_**I'll send the pain below,** _

_**I'll send the pain below.** _

_**Much like suffocating,** _

_**Much like suffocating, Much like suffocating (I'll send the pain below)** _

_**Much like suffocating (I'll send the pain below) Much like suffocating** _

_**I can't feel my chest (chest, chest), Anymore, Drop down,** _

_**'Cause I'm in I can't feel my chest (chest, chest)** _

_**Drop down!** _

_**I liked, Having hurt,** _

_**So send the pain below,** _

_**So send the pain below (Much like suffocating) (I liked),** _

_**So send the pain below (Much like suffocating) (Having hurt)** _

_**So send the pain below (Much like suffocating)** _

_**So send the pain below (Much like suffocating)** _

_**So send the pain below** _

Cas was in his own world, playing his guitar and singing. When he was like that, he would sometimes forget there was a crowd of over one hundred people watching. They played every song Cas planned on. They played Mayday Parade, Seether, another song by Dead By Sunrise. Then they got to the last song. He started the song. "You guys are fucking awesome as usual. This is our last song. If you don't know it then get the fuck out!"

_**Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.** _

_**I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.** _

_**For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,** _

_**Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?** _

_**I'm not okay** _

_**I'm not okay** _

_**I'm not okay** _

_**You wear me out** _

_**What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems? (I'm not okay)** _

_**I've told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means (I'm not okay)** _

_**To be a joke and look, another line without a hook** _

_**I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!** _

_**I'm not okay** _

_**I'm not okay** _

_**I'm not okay** _

_**You wear me out** _

_**Forget about the dirty looks** _

_**The photographs your boyfriend took** _

_**You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed** _

_**I'm okay** _

_**I'm okay!** _

_**I'm okay, now (I'm okay, now)** _

_**But you really need to listen to me** _

_**Because I'm telling you the truth** _

_**I mean this, I'm okay! (Trust Me)** _

_**I'm not okay** _

_**I'm not okay** _

_**Well, I'm not okay I'm not o-fucking-Kay** _

_**I'm not okay** _

_**I'm not okay (Okay)** _

Cas took his guitar off and threw his pick into the crowd. His eyes met Dean's. Dean was smiling. He whistled and Charlie was screaming. Cas smiled at them and winked before going backstage. Charlie met him back there. "Kick ass show Cassie!" She hugged him even though he was covered in sweat. He smiled as he put his guitar away. "Always." He teased. She rolled her eyes. "Hey, I'm gonna catch a ride with Meg. See you at school." She kissed his cheek and practically bounced out of the room. Cas shook his head. "Too bad you both play for different teams, you'd make a cute couple." His band-mate Adam said.

Everyone had left. Cas was always the last to leave. It was around midnight when he locked up and walked to his motorcycle. He swung his leg over. Before starting it he looked up to see Dean's car still sitting there. Dean was sitting on the hood. "Thought you would have gone home." Dean slid off the Impala and walked to him. "Figured I'd wait for you, see if you wanted me to hold on to your guitar." Cas had the guitar strapped to his back. "I have a key to Charlie's car. I can just put it in there." Dean stepped in front of his bike. "I don't mine Cas. It'll save you a trip." Cas looked at him for a moment. He slid the guitar off his back and handed it to Dean. "Take care of it like it's your car." Dean took it and stepped even closer to Cas til they were inches apart. "I'll take good care of it. Also, it'll give me an excuse to see you again." Cas looked at him, tilting his head.

"You're weird Winchester." He shook his head. "Just don't break my guitar or I'll kick your ass." He pushed off on his bike and started it. He revved it a few times then looked back at Dean. Before he could say his next thought, Dean kissed him. Cas' eyes widened. It was a quick kiss, he didn't have time to kiss Dean back. Cas calmed himself and smiled at him. "Watch it Winchester. I don't think you can handle me."Dean smiled. "Have you ever actually been with a boy Dean? Physically?"

"Yes. I have. I lost my virginity to a sophomore when I was a freshman."

Cas raised his eyebrows. "Bull shit. I don't believe you." Dean shrugged and started walking to his car. Cas walked the bike behind him. Dean set Cas' guitar in the backseat.

"Give me your phone." Cas held out his hand. Dean pulled his phone out of his pocket and handed it to Cas. Cas saved his number. He tossed the phone back to Dean. "Text me tomorrow. I'll text you coordinates. Follow them." He put his helmet on and revved the bike a few times again. "Don't keep me waiting Dean." He tore out of the parking lot, leaving a thin trail of smoke in his wake.


	2. The Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one! I was having a lot of fun with this chapter.

 

Cas woke up at around ten in the morning. He looked at his phone. Dean had indeed text him about thirty minutes prior. Cas smiled and typed in the coordinance to his favorite spot on earth: Suicide Drop. He told Dean to be there around noon. He smiled to himself as he rolled out of bed. He was only in his boxers. He opened his door and listened. The house was silent. It didn't surprise him. It was the weekend after all. His 'parents' were probably out on a bender. He went to his dresser and grabbed a black long sleeve shirt,  a black Linkin Park hoodie, and a pair of black ripped skinny jeans. He walked across the hall to his bathroom and turned on the shower. He slid his boxers off and stepped in. He let the water run over his body. His mind filled with thoughts of Dean. His light brown hair, his beautiful green eyes, and his face. He could only wonder what Dean looked like naked. He smiled at the thought. He washed his hair, then his body with his favorite  Axe body wash. 

He dried, then dressed. He walked back into his room and grabbed his phone, earbuds, and a few other things before walking down to the living room. He opened the coffee table drawer and pulled out The false bottom his 'parents' put in. He grabbed the bag of weed and rolled himself a joint. Tucking it behind his ear, he walked to the kitchen and grabbed a pack of cigarettes out of the freezer. He grabbed his lighter off the counter and slid it in his pocket. He opened the fridge and grabbed the half empty bottle of Jack Daniels. He grabbed his keys from the table as he walked past.

He opened the garage door and walked to his motorcycle. He put the bottle of Jack in the saddle bag .  He walked the bike out of the garage then pulled the door closed. He didn't bother locking the house. Everyone in the neighborhood pretty much watched the house because of who his 'parents' are.  When they were home, people would be in and out all night and Cas would have to put earplugs in his ears just to sleep and turn his music all the way up just to study. He swung his leg over his black 1998 Ducati 600 Monster He was extremely lucky. They guy he bought it from was just looking for his next fix and sold it to him for five hundred cash. Cas had been saving money for years now and had more than enough. The only downfall was the bike was his only form of transportation.  When the weather began to get too cold for him to ride, Charlie would drive him to and from school. He started the bike and pushed off, lifting his feet and taking off onto the road. 

Twenty minutes later he parked the bike at the bottom of the trail. He grabbed his things and began the hike up to Suicide Drop. The cliff got it's name for obvious reason. In recent years, teens and young adult would jump off the cliff into the shallow water below. There were a few places you could jump into water about ten to fifteen feet deep though. He pulled out his phone and looked at the time. 11:45 AM. He could faintly hear the Impala tear through the silence. He smiled. He made it to his favorite part of Suicide Drop. The highest point. He set the bottle and the joint down and sat under a tree. He took out the pack of cigarettes from his hoodie pocket and his lighter. He opened them and pulled one out, putting it between his lips. He heard the Impala turn off. He lit his cigarette, blowing the smoke slowly past his lips. He bit at his lip ring for a second before bringing the cigarette back to his lips to take another drag. He leaned back and closed his eyes, cigarette still between his lips. He heard faint footsteps as gravel and dirt crunched under Dean's feet. He exhaled the smoke. 

"That shit will kill you." He heard Dean say. He didn’t open his eyes. He just half smiled and shrugged. "We're all going to die Dean, what's a few years?" He heard Dean sit next to him. Cas took the cigarette from his lips, opened his eyes and grabbed the bottle of Jack Daniels. He opened it and took a drink then handed Dean the bottle. Dean took a drink. "So what is this place?"

"Suicide Drop."

"Charming."

Cas stood up and smiled. "Aw, don't be like that Winchester!" He grabbed the bottle, took a drink, and handed it back. Cas turned around and walked to the edge of the cliff, leaving about a foot. He looked behind him to see Dean walking to him. Dean stopped next to him and handed him the bottle. They both looked down. "How deep is the water?"

"Here, about fifteen feet."

"How high are we?"

"About fo rty feet."

"Will it kill you?"

"No. Might hit the bottom though. There's a twenty foot cliff with about five feet of water below it over there." He pointed down the trail. "That's where people jump. Head first." He looked at Dean, a mischievous smile on his face. "Dare me to jump in?" Dean looked at him.

"Are you crazy?"  

Cas shrugged. "Maybe a little, but that hasn't been fully proven."

Dean didn't say anything, he just stood there for a moment. "The water's probably freezing."

"What 's your point?"

"You're kidding, right? You could freeze to death."

Cas looked at him for a second, still smiling as he took a long drink. He handed Dean the bottle. He unzipped his hoodie, taking it off and throwing it aside. "You can't be serious, you're really gonna jump?" Dean asked, a note of concern in his voice. Cas raised his eyebrows then winked at him. He took off his shirt. The cool fall air sending goosebumps down his arms. "Is that a tattoo on your arm?" Cas held his arm out. The words 'Always Keep Fighting' could be seen in cursive down his forearm. Dean looked closer. "What does always keep fighting mean?" 

"It's pretty self explanatory, it basically means don't give up."

"Do you have  any  more ?"

Cas turned so he was facing him. The words "It's a sin to kill a Mockingbird" were on his chest. Dean looked at him. "Why that?" Cas shrugged. He was silent for a moment, but he was still smiling. "I see myself as a Mockingbird. All I do is make music. I have that there so I see it every morning when I wake up and look in the mirror. Reminding me to not kill myself." Dean's eyes widened. Cas looked at him. "Don't be so surprised Winchester. I told you last night I got my guitar from my real mom and that I don't live with her." He looked out over to the trees across from them. "I've been in the foster care system since I was about twelve. My mom used to be a drug addict. She didn't stop doing them even when she was pregnant with me. I was what people call a crack baby and had to be weaned off basically every drug known to man. They didn't expect me to live. Around the same time, my mom had seen what her doing drugs did to me so she decided to clean herself up. She did. She never did any drugs again." He walked back to the tree and grabbed the joint and lit it. "I was almost twelve when she just, dis appeared . Nobody could find my dad and my grandparents couldn't take me in because they weren't in the best health at the time. So I became a ward of the state. Ever since I've been moving from place to place with people who don't give a fuck. Like Rob and Julie, the people I'm with now. They only see me as a paycheck. So every time they cash said checks, I take about one hundred. They never notice because they think they spent it on drugs and booze." He took a hit of the joint. 

"What was the one on your back?"

He turned so Dean could see it. It was three skulls in a line down his back. One with it's hands covering it's ears, one covering it's eyes, the other it's mouth. Under the first said "Hear no evil." The second said "See no evil" The third said "Speak no evil." All in the same script as the Always Keep Fighting one on his arm. Dean stepped closer. Without thinking he ran his fingers down the tattoo. Cas shuddered. He turned his head to look at Dean. Dean didn't seem to notice Cas was looking at him. "Why don't you just, I don't know, leave. Tell the people what's going on. That they do drugs and drink." Dean said breaking the silence. Cas turned to face him and laughed. "Yeah. Right. And go back to a place that doesn't want me either? No thanks. I'll be eight een next July. I work at The Underground so I'll save as much as I can, and when I turn eighteen I'm getting out of here." 

"Where will you go?"

"College most likely. Since my grades are perfect, I can take my pick." Dean nodded. Cas took another hit from the joint and blew the smoke in Dean's face. Dean coughed. "Come on man, not cool." Cas smiled a smile that reached his eyes. "Nut up Winchester." Dean raised his eyebrows and took the joint from Cas. Cas wagged his eyebrows at him as he took a drink of the Jack Daniels. Dean put the joint to his lips and took a hit. As soon as the smoke hit his lungs, he coughed. Cas laughed. "I'm gonna take a shot in the dark here, but it seems to me like you've never smoked pot before." He said through his laughter. Dean caught his breath. "You're an ass." Cas smiled at him. He closed the distance between them. He slowly took the joint from Dean. He took a hit and held it in. He put his hand on the back of Dean's head and pulled him closer. He pressed his lips to Dean's, licking his lips. Dean parted his lips and Cas slowly blew the smoke into his mouth. Dean inhaled. Cas pulled away slightly. "Hold it in." He said softly. Dean did as he was told. Cas waited a few seconds. "Now let it out." Dean blew the smoke out in Cas' face. Cas smiled. "See? You just have to know what you're doing." His forehead was resting on Dean's. Both boys closed their eyes. "You're still an ass." Dean said quietly. Cas smiled. He brushed his lips against Dean's and across his jaw. "That may be, but you wouldn't be here if you didn't like it." 

Dean's head was spinning. He couldn't tell if it was the weed, or Cas. His heart started racing as Cas brushed his lips down his neck. Cas pulled away, opening his eyes. He took a few steps back. Dean opened his eyes. Cas put the joint out. Setting it and the bottle of Jack down on the dirt. He walked backward as he unzipped his pants. He stopped and pulled not only his jeans off, but his boxers as well. He threw them aside and took off his socks. Dean looked at him, puzzled. Cas just smiled and walked to the edge of the cliff. Catching on, Dean's eyes went wide. He ran towards Cas. Cas pushed off and flipped in the air before hitting the water below. The water was freezing, sending a shock through his body. He didn't even reach the bottom. "Cas!" He heard as soon as he surfaced. Cas looked up. "I'm fine!" He yelled back. "You're insane!" Dean laughed. Cas smiled. 

"Try it! I didn't even hit the bottom!"

"Hell no! I'm not jumping forty feet to freezing water naked!"

Cas shook his head. "Don't be a pussy Dean!"

Dean stood there for a minute then dis appeared . Cas stayed in the water. Seconds later Dean was airborne. He yelled halfway down, tucking his knees to his chest before hitting the water and splashing Cas. He surfaced seconds later. "Holy shit it's cold!" Cas laughed. He swam over to Dean.

"I can't believe I'm naked, swimming in a freezing cold lake." Dean said. 

"Bet you didn't see that coming."

"Hell no."

"We should probably get out now." 

They swam to the side and walked back up the trail. Dean stopped at his car and grabbed some towels. "They're clean. I haven't used them. Just some spares I had for practice." Cas nodded and took one, wrapping it around his torso. Dean did the same. "So what's your story Winchester?" Cas asked as they started walking up the trail. "Well, I moved here when I was twelve. My dad cheated on my mom. My mom grew up here. So she packed what she could and put him in the rearview." Cas nodded. "Do you hear from him?" Dean just shook his head. "If he does try to get in touch, I doubt my mom will let him. I remember him, but my brother barely remembers." Cas was looking at his feet, making sure he didn't step on broken glass. Nobody really came here which meant nobody cleaned up whatever mess would be left behind on the rare occasion someone did show up and throw their beer bottles everywhere. "So you have a little brother then?" He looked up at Dean. "Yeah. He's in the eighth grade, real smart too. I think he'd give you a run for your money." Dean flashed a smile that lit up his face. Cas couldn't help but smile. "Do you have any sib lings ?"

Cas looked down again. "If I do, I wouldn't know. Could be my mom had other kids and they were taken from her. I never asked her. I never thought to." They reached the top, Cas only put his boxers on and sat down. He lit a cigarette and watched as Dean put his boxers and jeans on. "You said your mom just disappeared, what happened?" Cas laid back on the small patch of grass next to the tree. "I'm not sure. She dropped me off at school like usual, said she'd be there to pick me up after. She never showed." He closed his eyes and took a drag from his cigarette. "Do you think she's alive?" Cas opened his eyes and propped himself up on his elbow, looking at Dean. "Sorry, you don't have to answer that."

"I think she is. And I think my dad had something to do with it." Dean grabbed the bottle of Jack and the joint. He walked over and sat in front of  Cas , passing him the bottle. "What do you mean? Like you think he kidnapped her or something?" Cas took a drink and passed it to Dean. "That's exactly what I think. My mom told me they were married, after I was born and being weaned off drugs, she made the decision to not only get clean but to leave my dad. She went to rehab and filed for divorce. I think she said they were only twenty. He went to jail the day I was born so he had no idea what she named me and she didn't give me his last name; She gave me hers. She kept his name though after the divorce. If he did kidnap her, that's how he found her." 

"What did the cops say?"

"They didn't really care. An ex junkie goes missing? Not real high on their list of priorities. That's another reason I'm saving money, so I can hire a P.I. to try and find her." Cas leaned back on his elbow again, taking a drag from his cigarette. Dean took a drink from the bottle. He still had his shirt off and Cas was taking advantage, taking in Dean's bare chest. His torso. His muscular biceps. A smile crept across his face. He put his cigarette to his lips, still smiling. "What?" Dean asked. Cas took one last drag before flicking the cigarette aside. He sat up and leaned forward, grabbing the bottle from Dean and taking a drink. He set the bottle down, moving to his hands and knees he leaned in closer to Dean. He put one hand on Dean's shoulder , pushing him down gently. "That boy who took your virginity, how long were you with him?" Cas asked, brushing his lips against Dean's. "About a month" Dean breathed. Cas smiled. "Good. Then you know what you're doing." Dean swallowed then nodded. Cas ran his fingers down Dean's arm then up his torso to his chest. He pressed his lips to Dean's and ran his thumb slowly across his nipple. Dean moaned softly into Cas' lips. Dean put his hands on Cas' hips and pulled him closer. Cas pushed himself against Dean. He pulled away suddenly. "What? Is something wrong?" Dean asked. Cas just looked at him. "Don't you think it's weird that we've only known each other for less than twenty four hours but we're about to have sex in the woods, on top of a cliff, by a lake?" Dean looked into his sapphire eyes. "To be honest, not really. I can't really explain it, but it just feels...right." Cas tilted his head. "Really? Cause I have to be honest. I've been wanting to get you alone for months now." Cas moved closer, mere inches away. "I've had a crush on you since the end of last school year. The way you looked in that baseball uniform, got me so hard." Cas smiled. Dean closed his eyes and let his head fall back, resting it on the grass. Since his freshman year, he played football in the fall and either soccer or baseball in the spring. Cas moved down and brushed his lips against Dean's nipple. "The way those pants looked on you, hugging your ass. I wanted so badly to put my dick deep in your perfect little ass." He flicked his tongue across Dean's nipple. Dean gasped. Cas smiled. Dean moved his hands up to Cas' chest, then slid them back down to his hips. Cas moved further down, kissing Dean as he did. He noticed Dean had a little "happy trail" going down and disappearing into his jeans. Cas unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, pulling them down to reve al Dean's growing eriction. Cas smiled, Dean definitely wasn't lacking in that department. No wonder girls were lining up to have a shot at him, but not today. Cas touched his tongue to the little happy trail and ran his tongue down to his boxers. Dean's dick twiched and Cas knew he was on the right track. 

He pulled Dean's jeans all the way off, followed by his boxers. Once Dean was free, Cas was able to get a good look. Yeah, definitely not lacking. He flicked his tongue across the tip. Dean moved a hand to Cas' head and grabbed a fistful of hair, tugging lightly. Cas chuckled. "You're gonna have to be more vocal Dean, you might as well get used to being vocal with what I'm about to do to you." Dean opened his eyes and looked down at him. "Blow me Cas." He said breathlessly. Cas smiled and wrapped his fingers around Dean's dick. "As you wish." He swirled his tongue around the tip. W rapping his mouth around it, he moved down slowly. Dean moaned and let his head fall back. Cas moved a little faster, taking as much as he could and stroking what he couldn't. Soon, he could taste Dean's precome. It taste sweet on his tongue. He reached for his jeans, searching the pockets. He found the condom and set it next to him then dug in his pockets, fishing out a small bottle of lube. Dean looked at him. "Do you always carry that stuff with you?" Cas looked at him and smiled. "Most of the time yes. You never know." He winked. Dean smiled and shook his head. "Never know when you'll catch your crush alone?" Cas's smile grew. "You're catching on Winchester." He flipped open the cap and squirted a few drops of lube on his fingers and coated his fingers, rubbing some on Dean's entrance. Seconds later he was sliding his index finger inside, taking him back in his mouth. Moving his hand in rhythm with his mouth and finger. He added his middle finger. T wisting them slowly to find the sweet spot, which didn’t take long. He added his ring finger. Dean arched his back, moaning loudly. Cas removed his fingers and sat up, grabbing the condom. He tore the wrapper and threw it behind him. He rolled the condom on and looked at Dean. "Get on your hands and knees." Dean did as he was told. Cas smiled. He put the tip of his dick against Dean's entrance. He grabbed Dean's hip with his free hand. He watched as Dean moved his hand to his dick. Cas leaned forward and grabbed his wrist. "I don't think so. I'm curious to see how long it will take you to cum without being jacked off." He said, amusement in his voice. Dean nodded and put his hand back on the ground. 

Cas pushed his dick inside Dean slowly, putting his hands on Dean's hips. Cas threw his head back and moaned. Dean felt amazing around his dick. He bit his lip ring and closed his eyes, pushing the rest of the way in. Dean moaned. Cas opened his eyes and pulled halfway out then pushed back in a little faster. He pulled Dean closer, moving his own hips trying to find his sweet spot again. He knew he found it when Dean moaned loudly. He held that angle. He pu lled out a little further. T hrusting in, he hit the spot at the right angle causing Dean to grab fistfuls of grass and his breath to shallow. Cas smiled and held the pace for a few moments. He moved one hand and pushed his thumb inside Dean. "Fuck!" Dean breathed. Cas smiled. "That's the plan anyway." He said as he moved his hips faster. Pulling and pushing Dean by his hip in rhythm with his own hips. Cas could tell Dean was getting close. He removed his thumb and put his hand back on Dean's hip. Thrusting hard. "Cas..." Dean breathed. Cas inhaled sharply at Dean's voice. He closed his eyes. "Say it Dean."

"I'm gonna cum."

"You want me to make you?"

"Yes."

Cas opened his eyes. "Tell me." He almost whispered.

"Make me cum Castiel."

Cas looked at him. "As you wish." He moved his hips faster, slamming into the sweet spot. Dean's moans grew louder and more frequent. Cas bit his lip ring and tugged on it a bit. "Cas..." A few more thrusts and Dean was cumming. Cas looked down to see the cum dripping from Dean. Dean's moans sent him over the edge. Seconds later, Cas was cumming. "Fuck!" He slowed down, watching as Dean stro ked himself through his orgasm. Cas pulled out and did the same. He bit his lip ring again. 

He took off the condom and tossed it aside for now. He put his boxers and jeans on. He got up and found his shirt. He shook the grass and dirt off. He didn't realize Dean was behind him until he felt his fingers run down his back. He shuttered, looking back at Dean. "You really like those skulls don't you?" He smiled. Dean met his eyes. "They're just, I don't know, beautiful." He let his hand drop to his side. Cas pulled his shirt o ver his head, pulling his arms through the sleeves. He turned around and looked at Dean who was still shirtless. His eyes dropped to Dean' s torso. "If you don't put your shirt and jacket on, I'll start round two."  Dean grabbed his shirt, shook it, and put it on. Cas sid his arm through the sleeves of his hoodie and zipped it up. He rubbed the top of his head, messing up his already messy black hair. He walked back over to the tree and sat down, pulling a cigarette from the pack and lighting it. He pulled his legs up and rested his arms on his knees. He looked down to see a butterfly had landed on the pack of cigarettes next to him. He smiled and watched it open and close it's orange wings. He heard the sound of a camera phone and looked up to see Dean holding his phone in his hand, smiling. Cas brought the cigarette to his lips. "Don't be that guy." He said taking a drag, looking back at the butterfly. Dean took another picture. "Really Winchester?" Dean's smile just grew as he took a third. Cas rolled his eyes and leaned against the tree. "I'll get you back." He warned. Dean lowered his phone. 

"Oh yeah? How?"

"Oh I  have my ways."

"Oh I'm so scared Novak."

Cas smiled crookedly and brought the cigarette to his lips, taking a drag. "Maybe I 'll just take a picture of you with my dick in your ass and make it my phone's lock screen." He said nonchalantly. Dean's smile faded, Cas' grew. "That's what I thought." Dean held up his phone again. Cas looked at him, still smiling. He raised his eyebrows, challenging Dean. Dean took the picture. "Alright Dean, just remember you started it." He shrugged, standing and dusted himself off. "You hungry?" Dean put his phone away and nodded. Cas gathered his things. "Good. I know a place. You can follow." He turned to face him. "Keep up." He smiled.

They were walking down the trail, Dean in front. He was walking backwards taking as many pictures of  Cas as he could. "I swear I'll break that damn thing." Dean laughed. Cas reached out to grab it, Dean moved his hand. 

"Too slow." 

"Are we back in kindergarten or something?"

"I don't see you making good on your threat."

"We aren't having sex, are we?" 

Dean smiled and continued walking backwards. Cas moved fast, grabbing Dean's wrist and pulling him close. They were a fraction of an inch away from each other. So close, Cas could feel Dean's breath on his lips. With his other hand, he slowly pulled Dean's phone out of his hand. His lips ghost over Dean's. "Good Dean." He whispered. He pulled back then walked past Dean, smiling as he looked down at Dean's phone. He put the phone in his pocket. "You can have it back a fter class." He said as he swung his leg over his bike. Dean pulled his keys out of his jacket pocket and unlocked the Impala. "Better not delete any of those." He muttered as he got in the car. Cas smiled, his bike roaring to life seconds before the Impala. He pushed off. Keeping one foot on the ground, he turned the handle bars and hit the throttle. The back tire spit out dirt and gravel as the bike turned itself. He put his helmet on with one hand and the bike shot forward. He put his feet up and he could hear the Impala roaring through the dirt behind him. 'So he can drive.' He thought as he looked behind him. 

As soon as he hit the road, his hit the throttle again, the front tire left the ground for a few seconds as Cas took of down the road. He looked behind him, Dean was catching up. He smiled and held the speed. He swayed effortlessly back and forth down the road for a few minutes. He looked behind him to see Dean smiling and shaking his head at him. A few minutes later, he turned into his destination. He took his helmet off and rubbed his head as Dean parked next to him. Dean opened the door and got out. "The Roadhouse?" He closed the door behind him. Cas kicked the stand down and steadied the bike on it before swinging his leg over. "Yeah, best burgers ever." He said putting his helmet on the handlebar and walking to the door. A bell chimed as he opened it. The place was pretty empty, which wasn't unusual for a Saturday afternoon. Business didn't start to pick up until around five. "Well as I live and breath, Castiel!" Cas smiled as the woman behind the bar walked up to him. "Hey Ellen." She wrapped Cas in a hug. "Good to see you honey. It's been what, a month and a half?" She pushed away smiling at Cas. 

"Yes ma'am."

"Who's your friend?" She looked at Dean.

"Ellen, this is Dean Winchester. Dean, meet Ellen Harvelle. She's like a mom to me." He smiled at her. 

"Pleased to know ya Dean. Any friend of Castiel's is welcome here anytime." She shook Dean's hand.

"Likewise Ma'am. Thank you."

"Oh please, call me Ellen."

Cas looked around. "Hey when did you get a new jukebox?" 

"About a week ago. And yes, there's some music in there for you."

Cas walked over to it. Dean stayed by Ellen. "I'll tell you one thing Dean, you must be special to him. He doesn't bring anybody here who ain't worth his time. Castiel has been with a few boys . Boys who wanted to keep it a secret; as you know that's not how Cas is." She looked over at Cas and smiled, then back to Dean. "I assume you know about his...situation."

"With his foster parents and his real mom? Yeah. He told me."

"Then you really are special to him. I don't have to tell you what will happen if you break his heart because he'll just do it himself. He's a strong kid, he can handle himself." They both looked at Cas. He was flipping through the records slowly, eyes glued to the jukebox. "I have to be honest Ellen, we've only know each other for a day but...I don't know. Just feels...right, being with Cas." Ellen nodded slowly. "There's more to that boy that meets the eye, and more to his story. I'll let him fill in his own blanks but don't rush him into it. He'll tell you everything when he's ready."

Ellen told the boys to sit at the bar. Dean flipped through the menu, Cas already knew what he wanted and so did Ellen. "Usual right? Double bacon cheese burger and sweet potato fries? With a chocolate shake?" Cas nodded and pulled out a cigarette, putting it between his lips. Ellen rolled her eyes. "I should make you do that outside." Cas smiled as he lit it. "Why Ellen, what if a cop drives by and sees a teenager smoking outside of a bar?" His voice heavy with playful sarcasm. Ellen leaned against the bar. "Boy, don't make me smack you." Cas backed away, hands up and still smiling. Ellen turned her attention to Dean. "What'll it be sugar?" She asked. Dean looked up. 

"I'll have what he's having."

"I'll have them right out."

She disappeared into the kitchen. Cas walked around the bar. Ellen poked her head out of the kitchen door. "Don't even think about it Castiel James." Cas looked at her and slowly backed out from behind the bar and sat down. "I know how much is in those bottles, and what's there." Effectively foiling his plan to take a bottle for himself. "Yeah, yeah. I wasn't gonna take one." 

"Don't give me that shit boy."

Cas grinned and put his hands up again. "I'll behave." When she was satisfied he would indeed behave, she went back in to the kitchen. Cas stood up and stretched, cigarette still between his fingers. He walked back over to the jukebox. "This is a cool place." Dean said. Cas flipped through the records again. "Even better when there are people here. Easy to swipe someone's drink."

"I heard that!" Ellen yelled from the kitchen. Cas laughed, eyes not leaving the jukebox. He took a drag from the cigarette, seconds later he was blowing smoke rings through the air. He finally settled on Nirvana's Bleach . Dean was playing with a salt shaker. He looked up when the first song started. "Good choice." Cas walked back to the bar and put out his cigarette, leaning against the bar. "Can't go wrong with Nirvana's first album." Ellen walked out, shakes in hand. She set them in front of the boys. "You know  Cas , I still have that acoustic guitar of yours." Cas looked at her.

"Really? I forgot about that." He half smiled. 

"You still in that band of yours?"

"Yes ma'am."

"I'll go get it, you can play me something. I think it's in Jo's room." 

He put a straw in his shake and took a sip. "Jo the cheerleader?" Dean asked when Ellen left the room. Cas set his  shake down . "Yeah, why?" Dean shrugged. He was good friends with Jo, or so he thought. She never mentioned Cas or her mom. "She just, never mentioned you or this place." Cas looked at him and tilted his head. "That's not surprising. I don't really talk to her. I don't tell Ellen, but Jo makes fun of Charlie and I around her cheerleader friends." He flicked his eyes to the kitchen then back to Dean. It was either Ash or  Jo back there making the food. "Don't tell Ellen. Jo will learn on her own." Dean looked away at his shake. He played with the straw. "I'm sorry Cas." Cas tilted his head again. "What are you sorry for?" 

"For everything."

Cas was about to say something when Ellen walked back in. She handed Cas the guitar. He took it and put the strap on his shoulder. He pulled the pick out of the strings. "Alright, what do you want to hear?" He asked strumming randomly. "What about that Katy Perry song?" Dean looked at him and smiled. Cas met his eyes. "Don't even." Dean threw his hands in the air. Cas grabbed the stool and sat down. Clearing his throat he started playing. 

_ I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath _   
_ Scared to rock the boat and make a mess _   
_ So I sat quietly, agree politely _   
_ I guess that I forgot I had a choice _   
_ I let you push me past the breaking point _   
_ I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything _   
__   
_ You held me down, but I got up  _   
_ Already brushing off the dust _   
_ You hear my voice, you hear that sound _   
_ Like thunder gonna shake the ground _   
_ You held me down, but I got up  _   
_ Get ready 'cause I've had enough _   
_ I see it all, I see it now _   
__   
_ I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire _   
_ 'Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar _   
_ Louder, louder than a lion _   
_ 'Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar _   
_ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh _   
_ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh _   
_ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh _   
_ You're gonna hear me roar _   
__   
_ Now I'm floating like a butterfly _   
_ Stinging like a bee I earned my stripes _   
_ I went from zero, to my own hero _   
__   
_ You held me down, but I got up  _   
_ Already brushing off the dust _   
_ You hear my voice, you hear that sound _   
_ Like thunder gonna shake the ground _   
_ You held me down, but I got up  _   
_ Get ready 'cause I've had enough _   
_ I see it all, I see it now _   
__   
_ I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire _   
_ 'Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar _   
_ Louder, louder than a lion _   
_ 'Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar _   
_ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh _   
_ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh _   
_ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh _   
_ (You're gonna hear me roar) _   
_ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh _   
_ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh _   
_ (You'll hear me roar) _   
_ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh _   
_ You're gonna hear me roar... _   
__   
_ Ro-oar, ro-oar, ro-oar, ro-oar, ro-oar _   
__   
_ I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire _   
_ 'Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar _   
_ Louder, louder than a lion _   
_ 'Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar _   
_ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh _   
_ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh _   
_ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh _   
_ (You're gonna hear me roar) _   
_ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh _   
_ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh _   
_ (You'll hear me roar)   
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh   
You're gonna hear me roar... _

Dean watched Cas. His voice sounded different than last night. It was softer, more melodic. Maybe because he was actually singing, but Dean was captivated. He was almost sad when Cas stopped singing. Dean and Ellen both clapped. Cas set the guitar down and smiled. "You have a gift Castiel." Said Ellen. Cas shrugged. "Yeah, I guess." He took a sip of his shake. 

"She's right Cas. You have an amazing voice." Dean agreed. Cas smiled with the straw between his teeth. Jo brought out the burgers and fries. "Hey Jo." Dean said. She s miled at him as she set the food down in front of them. "Hey Dean. What are you doing here?" She asked. Cas shook his head. He took a sweet potato fry and dipped it in his chocolate shake, taking a bite he looked at Jo. "Oh, well I'm here with Cas." He tilted his head to Cas. Jo looked at him. He smiled and gave a quick wave. "Oh, hey I didn't see you Castiel." Cas flicked his eyes to Dean. "You just set my food in front of me but hey, I'm used to it." He winked. Jo averted her eyes, as if embarrassed. "Kidding Jo. Calm down." She half smiled. Cas looked down at his food and picked up another fry. He only said that so Ellen wouldn't get mad at her. Even when he was here she wouldn't really talk to him, she never did. He didn't mind, he just didn’t want to make Ellen mad. She was the closest thing to a mother he had. Not to mention she could get pretty scary when she was mad. Dean looked at Cas for a moment. "Hey, uh, do you mind if we get this to go? I know we just got here but I planned on taking  Cas to that carnival in town." Ellen smiled at him. "Sure, no problem." She pulled a couple to go boxes out. Dean put his burger and fries in his box, Cas did the same. "You boys come back now. It was nice to meet you Dean." Cas gave her another hug and Dean thanked her. 

When they were outside Cas stopped him. "What was that about?" He asked putting his food in his saddlebag. Dean shrugged. "You said she makes fun of you. At first I didn't believe it until I saw the look on her face after what you said. You should have to put up with that kind of shit." Cas leaned against the Impala. "I've been putting up with it for years Dean. What makes you think it's going to change?" He crossed his arms over his chest. "What, you thought you would come in to my life, find out what's really going on? Take pity on me? Make the bad shit go away? It doesn't work like that Dean, it's never worked like that." He looked at his feet for a moment then to Dean. "I'm not some fucking cherity case." He walked over to his bike.

"I didn't say you were."

"I'm not some lost stray puppy you take in and feed. And I sure as hell don't need someone like you feeling sorry for me."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Look at you Dean. Star of the school. All the girls want you. The straight ones anyway. I bet your time with that sophomore was a secret huh? Neither of you wanted the school to know right? Well guess what Dean, that's not how I work. I've been around. I never hid a damn thing. I've only had sex with three guys Dean. Three. You're the third. But everyone thinks because I'm gay I'm some kind of slut. I'm not. I don't sleep around, I don't have random sex. We are from two different worlds Dean, but if you want me to keep this quiet then so be it. I guess I've gotten used to being used." He turned to his bike. Dean grabbed him by the wrist and spun him around. "Is that what you think this is? You think I'm using you?" Cas narrowed his eyes and tilted his head. "That's exactly what I think." Dean looked at him, astonished. He put one hand on the back of Cas' head, the other on his waist. He pulled Cas closer. Cas was so close Dean could feel his lip ring. "I wouldn't be here if I was using you." He whispered. Cas swallowed. Dean pressed his lips against Cas'. Cas smiled and pulled away. Dean smiled as well. "You're still an ass." He said. Cas laughed. "I guess you really wouldn't be here if you didn't like it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you think that's all of Cas' story...think again! Can you guess what it is?


	3. What Kids Do When They Skip School

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the kudos and comments! Keep 'em coming!!!

_**Be who you** _

_**Were created** _

_**To be,** _

_**And you will** _

_**Set the world on fire.** _

_**-St. Catherine of Sienma**_  

 

"Oh my God, what happened?" Charlie almost yelled. Cas looked at her wide eyed in horror at her entrance, but relaxed. "Keep it down, we're in a hospital." He was holding a washcloth to his bottom lip.

"I can see that. Why are you here?" 

"Do you not see the blood coming for lip?" 

"Why is lip bleeding?" 

Cas sighed and moved the washcloth, averting his eyes from Charlie's. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

"Hello?" 

"Dean?" 

"Yeah, who's this?" 

"Oh, I got your number from Cas' phone. It's Charlie. You might want to come to the hospital." 

"Why what happened?" 

"It's Cas." 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

Dean ran through the elevator doors, punching the number three a bunch of times. The door closed and the elevator made it's slow accent to the third floor. He ran his fingers through his hair impatiently. The doors opened, he shot out like a bullet. "Dean!" Charlie grabbed his arm.   "What happened?" 

"His foster dad. They got in a fight." 

"You're kidding." 

"I wish I was." She looked over her shoulder then back to Dean. A few nurses passed them, Charlie  waited for them to get out of earshot. "Nobody knows except me what really goes on. He doesn't even tell Ellen." Dean connected the dots. "This isn't the first time." It wasn't a question because he already knew the answer. He didn't even wait for Charlie to respond before he was walking briskly down the hall looking for Cas' room. He almost walked past it when Charlie stopped him. He turned his head to see Cas sitting on one of the beds. His face turned away and his lips pressed gently against his shoulder. Dean stood in the doorway for a moment, just watching. Cas didn't seem to notice Dean or Charlie, like he was in his own world. Dean heard him sniff then Cas wiped his nose on his shirt. "Cas?" Cas' head moved so fast Dean thought he'd get whiplash. His wide eyes locked on to Dean's, then flicked to Charlie. "You called him?!" He growled. Dean's eyes looked him over. His cheek was scraped and bruised, his left wrist was wrapped in an ace bandage, and his lip...  His lip ring was torn out. Dean's heart dropped. "Yes, I told him. Get mad if you want but I think he should know." The room went silent, Cas refused to look at Dean. "I'm going to get coffee." Charlie said, looking at Cas. Cas looked at the floor when she left.

"Cas-" 

"Go home Dean. I'm fine." 

"He ripped out your lip ring, and your fine?" 

"Dean-" 

"How long has it been going on?" 

"How long has what been going on?" 

"I'm not stupid Cas." 

Cas' eyes flicked up to Dean, then back to the floor. "About two weeks after I got here, six years ago."

Dean walked to him. "They won't adopt me or they'll lose the money. They know I won't leave because I have nowhere else to go, and honestly , who wants to adopt a seventeen year old gothic gay kid."

"You could emancipate yourself." 

"That requires money I don't have. I don't make enough to live on my own." 

"What about Ellen?" 

"What about her?" Cas lifted his head slightly, but still didn't look at Dean. 

"Can't you live with her? You said she's like a mother to you." 

Cas didn't get a chance to answer. "Alright Mr. Novak, let's get you stitched up." The doctor came in, Cas' file in hand. He looked up at the two boys before his eyes fixed on Cas' lip. "Hell of an injury. You must have quite the pain tolerance." The nurse brought in some instruments as the doctor put on those powdery white gloves. "I don't think I've ever heard of someone getting a lip ring stuck in braces before." He smiled as he grabbed the needle. "Just bad luck I guess." Cas replied, still averting Dean's eyes. Dean stood back and watched as the doctor sewed Cas' lip. Cas didn't move or flinch. Stepping out of the hospital, Dean's eyes never left Cas. Charlie was by her car waiting. Dean stopped him while they were still out of earshot. “I want to know everything.” Finally, Cas lifted his eyes; piercing into Dean's like ice. “Trust me, you don't.” He frowned. Dean let out a frustrated sigh, running his fingers through his hair. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “I just don't understand why you would continue to put yourself through this kind of shit.” “I don't have a choice Dean.” “There's always a choice. Always a way out.” “Well if you find one that doesn't involve getting my ass beat or being homeless, let me know.” He turned to walk to Charlie. “Cas...” “Go home Dean. Leave it be.” Dean woke the next morning and looked at his phone. Charlie had text him letting him know Cas was alright, then another saying Cas wouldn't be in school. He shook his head and sat up. Cas' voice rang in his head. 'Let it be.' Dean didn't know if he could just stay out of it. He got dressed and put his homework in his backpack. Making his way downstairs, Sam popped out from the bathroom. “Hey, is that Cas kid okay?” Dean almost forgot he told his mom and brother that Cas was in the hospital. He, however, didn't tell them what happened at the lake the other day. “He needed a lot of stitches, but he'll live.” He sure as hell wasn't about to tell them what happened. Sam nodded and went back to his morning routine. He made his way into the kitchen and helped himself to the eggs and sausage his mom made while she poured him a glass of orange juice. “I'm glad your friend is okay.” She set the glass down in front of him. Dean nodded as he swallowed his bite of eggs. “Yeah, I don't think he'll be back until he feels better though.” He was at his locker digging through to find the books he would need for his morning classes. “Hey there!” Charlie greeted him, leaning against the locker. He halfheartedly smiled at her.

He closed his locker and leaned against it. “Does he really expect me to just stay out of it?” She put a hand on his shoulder. “That's not very easy to answer. Cas is a very confusing person. He wants help but he's to afraid to ask for it. He's more of a suffer in silence person.” Dean shook his head. “He's ashamed.” Five minutes before lunch, Dean was sitting in his AP English class tapping his pencil on his notebook. He pulled out his phone and sent a text to Charlie. “What's Cas' address?” Seconds past “Why?” “Just give me the damn address.” “724 East Magnolia.” He put his phone back in hos pocket and gathered his things. He stood up, putting his things in his bag. “And where are you going Mr. Winchester?” He looked up at Mr Locke and smiled walking to the door. “Lunch.” He backed out just as the bell rang. He turned around, throwing his bag over his shoulder, he ran out the front and to the Impala. He opened the driver door, throwing his bag beside him and started the car. When it roared to life, he tore out of the parking lot and down the road.

 

He rolled out of bed and stood up. He opened his door and listened. Nobody home. He half smiled in relief. He didn't bother putting on pants or a shirt since Rob and Julie wouldn't be home for a day or so. They always vanished for a few days after a fight. Hell, they were gone by time he got back from the hospital last night. He half thought they might have come back and just left this morning. He trudged down the stairs to the kitchen and went to the freezer. He grabbed some toaster strudel and put it in the toaster. Grabbing a new pack of cigarettes out of the freezer and opened it. He pushed himself up on the counter and lit the cigarette. His food popped out of the toaster, he was just putting the frosting on it when there was a knock at the door. He slowly looked at it. “Yeah...no. Not in the mood.” The person knocked again. He sighed and went to the door. Taking a bite of his breakfast as he opened the door. He wasn't expecting to be greeted by deep green eyes, light brown hair and a smile that could make anyone go weak in the knees. “Dean?” He swallowed.

“Hiya, Cas.” “

How did you get here?”

“I drove.”

“No, I meant what are you doing here and how did you know where I live?”

“Charlie told me.” He sighed, leaning against the door.

“Is charlie telling you everything or something?”

“Don't be like that Novak.” He smiled. Cas couldn't help but smile.

“So, are you gonna get dressed?” He asked eyeing Cas up and down, smiling slyly and wagging his eyebrows. Cas looked down, forgetting he was in his boxers. Cas shook his head and let Dean in. “Just sit in the kitchen and don't touch anything.” Dean nodded, not prying the subject, he sat at the kitchen table. Cas took the stairs two at a time and went to his room. He rummaged through his closet, finding a long-sleeve dark grey thermal shirt that had Avenged Sevenfold on it. He slid it over his head, pulling his arms through the sleeves. He grabbed a pair of Tripp pants with red straps and slid them on. He grabbed some socks out of his drawer and walked back downstairs. Sitting on the bottom step and put his socks on. He stood up and looked at Dean. “So really, what are you doing here?” He asked. Dean stood up and walked over to the door and opened it, looking back at Cas smiling. “Just get in the damn car.”

 

Slowing the car to a stop, Cas looked at Dean. “Really?” Dean opened the door smiling at Cas and winked. Cas got out and continued to look at Dean. “I got the feeling the other day you come here a lot when you get upset or something.” Cas tilted his head, his mouth half open and his tongue touching his top teeth. He raised his eyebrows. “Huh. Perceptive. Why do think I would be upset?” Dean just smiled and walked up the path. Cas followed him, then took the lead. “There's something I didn't show you last time.” He told Dean. They walked all the way up the cliff and the ground leveled out. The trees surrounded them as they walked down the path. Dean slowed down so he could take it all in. The color of the leaves, golden yellow, red orange, the smell of them. He looked at Cas, who was watching him with curiosity. “Never seen Lawrence like this have you?” Dean shook his head. Cas smiled slightly. “Come on, it's right up here.” He put his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground, kicking rocks as he went. Dean watched as Cas pulled out a cigarette and lit it. He shook his head but didn't say anything. Cas started to walk off the path, Dean looked at him for a second but followed. “You aren't planning to kill me are you?” He joked. Cas rolled his eyes and kept walking, taking a drag of his cigarette. “I haven't been here in awhile. This is where I really go to get away.” They walked in silence for a few minutes, then Cas stopped, putting his cigarette out on his converse sneaker. “There it is.” He pointed to two birch trees. A tree house was built around both. The tree house was made out of old pine, down to the door. The detail was amazing. Shutters made from birch, the roof made black walnut, the rope ladder made from red oak. “Wow! This is...amazing!” Dean exclaimed. Dean took a few steps forward. “Did you build it?” He turned to look at Cas. The crisp afternoon air made their breath visible. Cas smiled. “Yeah well, when you have nothing else better to do...” Cas walked to the rope ladder and made his way up. He pushed himself up and walked over to the door, pulling his keys out of his pocket. He unlocked the door and stepped inside. Dean looked around as he entered. Even the floors were made of wood. “Wow Cas. When did you build this?” He walked around the two tree house. “A few months after I got here in the eighth grade. I used trees that were already down. It took me a few months, Charlie helped.” Cas leaned against the wall. “Nobody, but her knows.” Dean nodded. There was a table and a few chairs in one part, a full sized mattress in the other part. “Have you ever had to sleep here?” Dean looked at him. Cas held his eyes, walking to a chair and sitting. “A few times. Like I said, it's my getaway.” Dean walked over and sat down across from him. He leaned in and brought his hand to Cas' lip. Cas' eyes focused on his. “Tell me what happened.” He said softly. Cas closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He took Dean's hand in his and placed it on his lap, opening his eyes. They were a deep sapphire blue that reflected the sunlight. “I can't Dean. I just- not yet.” Dean lifted his eyes from the stitches to Cas' eyes. He wouldn't push the subject any further. Dean stood up and smiled, grabbing Cas by the hand. “Come on.” He pulled Cas to his feet. Cas looked at him in confusion. “Where are we going now? We just got here.” “My house.”

 

Forty-five minutes later, Dean pulled into the driveway and turned the car off. “So why are we at your house?” Cas slid out of the car and looked at the house, zipping up his favorite hoodie. The house was a dull blue, two story, Dutch Colonial. It was huge. The bay window in the front was a lot larger than normal. The white trim around the windows was just starting to fade and ivy began to make its slow accent up the house. It was almost something out of a fairy tale. Dean unlocked and opened the front door then turned to Cas, who was lost in the house before him. His eyes were sparkling like a child seeing magic for the first time. The smile matched his face. He looked at Dean. “I've never been to this neighborhood before. Charlie lives in Quail Run so we'd just walk to each others houses. I've never been to Old West.” He looked around the street. Old West is Lawrence's oldest neighborhood. Cas lived on the edge of West neighborhood, right next to Quail Run. “You gonna come inside or stare at my house?” Cas followed him into the house, which was even more amazing. Beautiful hardwood floors throughout the downstairs. The couch was sitting on an area rug as well as the coffee table. Cas walked around the couch to see a fireplace with a thirty inch flat screen mounted above the mantle which was full of pictures of Dean, his brother and his mother in various stages of childhood. He looked at a picture of a freshman Dean with his football uniform on, seemingly after a game. His arm was around a boy Cas didn't recognize. He turned to Dean. “Is that him? The boy that was your first?” Dean looked at the picture. “Yeah, that's Gabe. My mom took this after my first game freshman year. He moved soon after that was taken.” He moved in front of Cas and lit the fire. “Does you mom know? About your relationship, I mean.” Dean sat down on the floor in front of the fire. Cas sat next to him, glad for the warmth away from the chill of the early fall afternoon. “Yeah, she knows. Everyone I want to know, knows about me. My brother included.” Cas leaned back on his hands, eyes on the fire. “So do you go both ways, or just one?” “Just one. Since I can remember actually.” Cas nodded, still looking at the fire. “Do you still talk to him?” “Every once in awhile. Just to catch up.” Cas nodded once more. He looked around the open first level. The living room was painted burgundy with touches of gold all along the walls, where as the dinning room was a dark tan color. The kitchen was painted a burnt orange color with white cabinets and marble counter tops. Cas had never seen anything like it; consequently, wondering if he would ever live in a home as nice as Dean's. He looked over on the far wall to see a standing piano. He got up and walked over to it, running his fingers along the ivory keys. Dean got up and followed him. “ You play?” Cas asked. He looked beside it to see not only an electric guitar and an acoustic guitar resting on their stands. The electric guitar was an American Vintage '59 Stratocaster, worth $2,300. “Yeah, I play piano, guitar, and drums. My mom wanted me to play other instruments, but I wasn't interested. Sammy plays a few different ones though.” He sat down in front of the piano and played a few keys. “Do you play anything else?” He asked as Cas sat next to him, putting his hands in his lap.

Cas again ran his fingers along the keys. “The family I lived with before Rob and Julie taught me how, the only decent thing they did for me.” “Play something.” Dean urged. Cas thought about what to play for a few moments, then began to play “Roads Untraveled” by Linkin Park.

**_Weep not for roads untraveled_ **

**_Weep not for paths left alone_ **

**_'Cause beyond every bend Is a long blinding end_ **

**_It's the worst kind of pain I've known_ **

Dean stood up and grabbed the Fender, plugging it in to the amp. He joined Cas in singing.

**_Give up your heart left broken_ **

**_And let that mistake pass on_ **

**_'Cause the love that you lost_ **

**_Wasn't worth what it cost_ **

**_And in time you'll be glad it's gone_ **

Dean played the guitar on cue while Cas continued singing and playing the piano.

_**Woah-oo-oh-oh** _

_**Woah-oo-ohh** _

_**Woah-oo-oh-oh** _

_**Woah-oo-ohh** _

_**Weep not for roads untraveled** _

_**Weep not for sights unseen** _

_**May your love never end** _

_**And if you need a friend** _

_**There's a seat here alongside me** _

_**Woah-oo-oh-oh** _

_**Woah-oo-ohh** _

_**Woah-oo-oh-oh** _

_**Woah-oo-ohh** _

Cas would glance over at Dean while they played and sang. They sang in a beautiful harmony, Cas had no idea Dean could sing. His voice was smooth like silk, but had a raspy sound to it. When they finished the song, Cas put his hand on the bench at his sides. “Well look at you. Why didn't you tell me you could sing?” He asked while flashing a smile. Dean rubbed the back of his neck smiling. “Yeah, well, you didn't ask and not a lot of people know.” He replied. He placed the guitar back on it's stand and picked up the acoustic guitar, handing it to Cas. “Can you play anything besides rock music and one Katy Perry song?” He asked with a smile. Cas took the guitar, taking the pick from between the strings while rolling his eyes at Dean. He strummed for a second, thinking of a good song. “Alright, how about this?” He began playing “Fight Song” by Rachel Platten.

_**Like a small boat** _

_**On the ocean** _

_**Sending big waves** _

_**Into motion** _

_**Like how a single word** _

_**Can make a heart open** _

_**I might only have one match** _

_**But I can make an explosion** _

_**And all those things I didn't say** _

_**Wrecking balls inside my brain** _

_**I will scream them loud tonight** _

_**Can you hear my voice this time?** _

_**This is my fight song** _

_**Take back my life song** _

_**Prove I'm alright song** _

_**My power's turned on** _

_**Starting right now I'll be strong** _

_**I'll play my fight song** _

_**And I don't really care if nobody else believes** _

_**'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me** _

_**Losing friends and I'm chasing sleep** _

_**Everybody's worried about me** _

_**In too deep** _

_**Say I'm in too deep** _

_**And it's been two years I miss my home** _

_**But there's a fire burning in my bones** _

_**Still believe** _

_**Yeah, I still believe** _

_**And all those things I didn't say** _

_**Wrecking balls inside my brain** _

_**I will scream them loud tonight** _

_**Can you hear my voice this time?** _

_**This is my fight song** _

_**Take back my life song** _

_**Prove I'm alright song** _

_**My power's turned on** _

_**Starting right now I'll be strong** _

_**I'll play my fight song** _

_**And I don't really care if nobody else believes** _

_**'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me** _

_**A lot of fight left in me** _

_**Like a small boat** _

_**On the ocean** _

_**Sending big waves** _

_**Into motion** _

_**Like how a single word** _

_**Can make a heart open** _

_**I might only have one match** _

_**But I can make an explosion** _

_**This is my fight song** _

_**Take back my life song** _

_**Prove I'm alright song** _

_**My power's turned on** _

_**Starting right now I'll be strong** _

_**I'll play my fight song** _

_**And I don't really care if nobody else believes** _

_**'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me** _

_**No I've still got a lot of fight left in me** _

 

Dean leaned back on his elbows and watched Cas as he entered his own little world, as he often did when he played and sang. Cas was truly talented. Dean had no doubt in his mind that Cas and his band could one day sign a recording contract. Dean knew that if it wasn't for football, he'd be stuck in this town working at his uncle Bobby's auto shop the rest of his life. He knew Cas would get out of this town, some how. Be it college or music. Cas was going to set the world on fire one day. Cas finished, he set the guitar on back on the stand. Dean sat up and caught his hand, pulling Cas to the floor and giving Cas no choice but to straddle him. Dean let his head fall to the floor and lightly tugged Cas' hoodie, forcing him to follow Dean down. He lifted his head just enough to brush his lips against Cas', closing his eyes as he did. “You are the most amazing person I've ever known.” He whispered against Cas' lips. Cas' breath caught, swearing to himself that Dean whispered like that on purpose. Cas instinctively pushed himself downward, grinding his already growing erection onto Dean. Dean inhaled sharply before Cas kissed him gently, being mindful of his stitches that probably slightly irritated Dean's lips. Dean apparently didn't seem to mind. Cas moved his lips down Dean's jaw, to his neck and sliding his hand up Dean's shirt to feel his smooth skin. Dean ran his hands down Cas' ribs, resting them on his hip and pulling Cas closer until their chests were pressing against each other. Cas' lips whispered down to Dean's collarbone, sliding his hand further up Dean's shirt. Dean raised his arms as Cas pulled the shirt over Dean's head. Cas sat up and pulled his own shirt off, tossing it aside. Dean took the opportunity to run his fingers up and down Cas' chest and torso to the hem of his pants. Cas took both Dean's hands in his, entwining their fingers together, he moved both hands above Dean's head. Lowering himself back down pressing his lips gently against Dean's. Dean's lips parted. Taking advantage, Cas dipped his tongue inside, moving it slowly across Dean's and up to the roof of Dean's mouth. Slowly sliding a hand down Dean's arm, down his chest, to his jeans. He tucked a finger just under the waist then pushed his erection on Dean's causing a small moan to escape. Cas unbuttoned and unzipped Dean's jeans, pulling them down to his ankles. Dean pushed off his shoes then kicked off his jeans followed by his boxers. Cas took in the sight of Dean absolutely naked, something he didn't get to do last time. He slowly ran his hands up Dean's torso to his chest then back down again. They heard a car door close and Dean's eyes shot open.

“Shit! My mom's home for lunch!” Cas hurried off him, trying not to laugh and not succeeding. Dean laughed with him as he gathered his close in one hand and grabbed Cas' hand with the other, leading Cas up the stairs and into the bathroom. “What are we doing in your bathroom?”

“I don't know! I panicked. I don't think my mom wants to see me naked on the living room floor about to have sex.” Cas shrugged.

“Good point.”

He walked over to the shower and turned it on. Dean looked at him through raised eyebrows. Cas rolled his eyes and almost pushed Dean in.

“What about you? I haven't told her about you yet.”

“You've got to be kidding me.”

Dean just shook his head. Cas sighed and took off his clothes quickly and got in the shower with him. Seconds later Dean's mom was knocking on the door. “Dean? I noticed your car. Are you okay?” Dean pulled the shower curtain closed. “Uh, yeah. I uh, just didn't feel well after lunch so I came home.” Cas was finding it hard to keep his hands off Dean while the water was running down him. He slid his hand down Dean's abs. Dean grabbed his hand before he could get any further down. “Alright, do you need me to get you anything? I'll only be here for fifteen minutes so speak now of forever hold your peace.”

“No, I'm fine mom.”

“Alright. Just get some rest sweetie. I'll check on you when I get home.” Knowing that Dean usually showered for at least fifteen minutes. When there was a few seconds of silence, Dean looked at Cas, still holding his hand. Cas was smiling at him. Dean blew out a sigh of relief as he let go and leaned against the shower wall. Cas put his hands on either side of Dean's head, leaning closer. “Is it me or is being in a shower with your mother home incredibly hot?” Dean smiled and shook his head. “Really Cas? With my mom right down the hall? You want to have shower sex?” Cas moved in closer til their naked, wet bodies were almost touching. “Not sex Dean, foreplay.” He smiled. Dean looked at him. “Well, nobody knows this but I do have a few uh, toys.” Cas raised his eyebrows. “Didn't peg you for the sex toy type Winchester.” “Just experimenting. Which is why nobody knows.” “I assume these toys are in your room?” Dean nodded, stepping out of the shower. “Stay here. I'll be right back.”

“Yeah, cause I can go anywhere naked, wet, and with your mom here.” He teased. Dean shook his head and walked to the door. Cas watched him as he did. “You have a nice ass Winchester.” Dean turned his head, smiled, and winked at him. He turned to the door and opened it, looking left and right before dashing out of sight. “Hate to see him leave, but love to watch him go.” Cas said to himself. A minute later Dean was back, holding a shoe box. He closed the door and set the box down right out side the shower. Cas peered over the top to see that he was not the only freak in school. Cas bent over and picked up a dildo. “Standard Winchester. What else do you have?” “Shh! Just-” He grabbed the dildo and put it back in the box. Cas looked in the box again, seeing something that looked like a flashlight. He picked it up. “Is this what I think it is?” He looked at Dean. Dean looked at him. “Yes Cas, it's called a fleshlight.” Cas looked at the toy, thoroughly inspecting it. He looked back at Dean. “Got any whips or handcuffs?” He smiled, Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Not that much of a freak are we? You'll learn” Dean stepped back in the shower, hiding something behind his back. Cas just waited patiently. Dean closed the curtain with one hand then looked at Cas. “I do have this though.” To his surprise, Dean pulled out Anal beads. Cas raised his eyebrows. “How did you get all of this?” Dean shrugged.

“Online using a fake card.”

“I admit Winchester, I'm impressed.” He grabbed Dean and pushed him against the shower wall, pressing his hard dick against Dean and kissing down his neck to his chest. He grabbed Dean's half-hard dick and stroked slowly. Dean let his head rest against the wall, taking Cas' dick in his hand and squeezed gently, a quiet moan escaped from his lip as Dean matched his slow pace. Cas bit down lightly on Dean's nipple. Dean sucked in air through his teeth, Cas flicked his tongue across it taking the beads from Dean with his free hand. Dean moved away from the wall, but Cas pushed him back with his forearm, dropping the fleshlight and pulling Dean's hips out with the other. He rubbed the beads against Dean's entrance then pushed the first two inside. Dean dug his blunt nails into Cas hips. Cas looked up at him, his hair plastered against his forehead, water dripping down. His electric blue eyes focused and aware of every detail. From every water droplet running down Dean's well sculpted body, the ripple of his muscles as the tighten, the parting of Dean's lips as he tried to stifle a moan. The way Dean's light brown hair stuck to his forehead sending water droplets down to those gorgeous jade green eyes that Cas often found he could lose himself in. He continued to stroke Dean's dick as he pushed another bead in. Dean squeezed his eyes shut as he gasped. Cas leaned closer. “Come now Dean, my dick is bigger around than the bead that just went in you.” He whispered. Dean opened his eyes and looked at him. “It's just- it's you. I can't stop thinking about you Cas. About the other day. I woke up the next morning with a hard on just from thinking about it before I fell asleep, but it wasn't just the sex. It's just you Cas. I'm crazy about you already. I don't really know how or why, but I don't really care. When we get close like this, all I can see hear and feel is you. I can see your eyes, so focused on what you're doing. I hear your heartbeat. I feel your fingers. Even if this is all you want from me is sex, I would be fine with that.” Cas brushed his lips against Dean's then pushed a fourth bead in. “Trust me, I'm not in it for the sex Dean, but it is a plus seeing you like this.” He whispered. A moan escaped from Dean's throat as his jade green eyes slipped closed, his head falling back. Cas smiled and went back to focusing on everything Dean's body was doing, that is until Dean's mom knocked again. “I'm heading out Dean. See you later tonight.” Cas almost wanted to yell at her for breaking his concentration, but thought better of it. Dean kept his eyes closed and put his hand back on Cas' dick, stroking slowly. “Yeah, okay!” He called out in the most nonchalant voice he could muster. Cas pulled out the fourth bead then pushed it back in. Dean began to fuck himself into Cas' hand. Cas smiled. “Not so fast.” He growled lightly. Dean opened his eyes.

“My room.”

“What about it.”

“Well, we could stay in here and run up the water bill, or we could do this on my bed.”

“Good call.” Cas slowly pulled the beads out, rinsing them off before turning the shower off. He pulled the curtain open and shook the water out of his hair. Dean ran a towel through his and dried quickly, handing it to Cas he bent down and picked up the box. Cas ran the towel over himself quickly and followed Dean. As soon as Dean opened his bedroom door, Cas grabbed the box and set it on the nearest waist level place, grabbed Dean's wrists and pulled him into a kiss. “Cas” Dean breathed between kisses.

“What Dean?” He pulled away just a fraction. Dean locked his eyes onto Cas', going from jade to emerald. Cas had almost forgotten that Dean's eye color changed with his mood. Even when he had just been admiring these eyes from afar he could almost tell by the color what mood Dean was in. Forest when he was happy or excited, juniper when he was mad or upset, and jade or emerald when he was passionate. Not just the sex kind of passionate, it was the same when he was on the field sometimes. Dean said nothing he grabbed the box and walked backward to his bed, setting the box on the floor next to it as he lay on top of it. Cas flipped the shoe box open and grabbed the bottle of lube and the dildo, squirting a couple drops on it then rubbing it around. “I want to try something, but if it's to much at any time, tell me and I'll stop.” Dean nodded and closed his eyes. Cas put the tip of the dildo on Dean's hole, with his free hand he slowly stroked Dean's dick. He slowly pushed the dildo inside Dean, working it in for a good few minutes. Cas grabbed the lube and squirted a few drops on his dick and worked it around for a few seconds the put the tip on Dean's hole, pulling the dildo out a little. “This might hurt or be uncomfortable but if you can ride it out, I promise you won't regret it.” Dean kept his eyes closed. He nodded, taking a deep breath. Cas very slowly and carefully pushed the tip in. Dean squeezed his eyes shut, confirming for Cas that he's never done this before. In a way, it both scared and excited him. He didn't want to hurt Dean, well, not much, only in a sexual way that he knows will feel good. That's what excited him. Dean trusted him enough to try new thing, explore and take time to appreciate sex, not just have sex to have sex. What really surprised Cas was that Dean trusted him this much in the few days that they have been talking. His slowly pushed in a little more, squeezing his own eyes shut at the feeling of Dean contracting around him. He heard Dean suck in a breath through his teeth and his eyes shot open. “Dean?”

“I'm okay” He breathed. Cas nodded, letting Dean get used to the feeling before pushing in even more. The feeling alone was almost enough to make Cas come already, forcing him to stop anyway. The dildo wasn't even that big, Dean was just so fucking tight! Cas let out a noise between a sigh and a moan. He dropped his head and pushed in once more, now throwing his head back and grunted a moan. At last a few minutes later he was all the way in. He dropped his head and opened his eyes as he slowly pulled out and back in. He leaned forward, grabbing Dean's hands and pinning them above his head. Brushing his lips up Dean's chest to his neck, ghosting his jawline then finding his lips. Dean grabbed Cas' hips and pulled him closer and deeper. Both boys moaned into each others lips. Cas opened his electric blue eyes and pulled away, grabbing Dean's legs and holding them in the air; moving his hips a little faster and slightly harder. Dean arched his back and pulled on Cas hips, emerald green orbs fixed on his blue ones. “Cas...” He moaned. “Please.” He begged. Cas leaned forward, pulling Dean's legs up even more. Cas pulled half way out, looking at Dean whose eyes were closed his lips parted. Cas thrust inside Dean causing him to arch his back and moan loudly. He thrust faster, throwing his head back with loud gasps and moans. He looked back at Dean. He could tell Dean was trying not to come. Cas smiled to himself and moved his hip faster. The room filled with Dean's moans, echoing off the walls and bouncing back at Cas, vibrating through his body. “Come for me Dean.” His blue eyes piercing into Dean as he put his hands on Dean's hips and moved in rhythm with his own hips. “Oh fuck!” Dean breathed. Cas didn't let up. Dean's moans grew more frequent. “Cas, I'm gonna- fuck!” Dean's body shook as he came. Cas took Dean's dick and stroked him through his orgasm, still not letting up.

Dean opened his eyes. “Come inside me Castiel.” Dean said breathlessly. Nobody had ever said his full name like that, like they needed him. With those words, Cas was coming. “Jesus Christ!” He breathed. He slowed his pace and pushed in to Dean through his orgasm then stopped. They stayed in that position until they caught their breath. Cas pulled out both himself and the dildo. Dean tensed for a second then relaxed sitting up he moved to his knees. Cas sat on the bed, his back facing Dean running his fingers back and forth through his still slightly damp hair. Dean joined him on the side of the bed. “Should we clean up?” He asked. Cas looked at him and nodded, pushing himself off the bed. He grabbed Dean by the hand and pulled hips, giving him a quick kiss. “Lead the way.”

 

It was around 2:30 when Dean pulled in front of Cas house. “You going to school tomorrow?” He asked. Cas was looking out the window at his house. “Do you think I'll ever find my mom?” Dean looked at him. “Why would you ask that?” Cas sighed, not taking his eyes off the slightly rundown house with it's chipping grey paint, falling shutters, busted garage door and drafty windows. They house wasn't much better on the inside. Holes in the ceiling, walls and doors. He tried to keep everything clean just in case his caseworker came by. “I can't stand them Dean. I'm invisible until Rob feels the need to hit me or-” He cut himself off. “Or what?” Cas sighed, looking straight ahead and let his head fall back, resting against the seat. “Nothing. Just forget it.” He unbuckled and opened the door. “Cas-” “There's a reason why I told you to let it be.” He got out and closed the door. Dean shut the car off and got out, quickly catching up to Cas, grabbing his wrist and turning him. “What the hell are you talking about?” Cas clenched his jaw and pulled his wrist free, saying noting. He turned again and walked to the front door. He unlocked it and stepped inside; before he could close it, Dean walked in after him.

“I'm not leaving until you tell me.”

“I told you. I can't. Not now.”

“Why not?”

“It's complicated.”

“Cas, no matter how complicated it may be, I want to know. I really wasn't going to push the subject but whatever is going on, I don't like what it's doing to you.”

Cas shut the door and walked across the living room to the stairs. Dean once again caught up and spun Cas around. Cas grabbed Dean's shoulders, spun him around and pinned Dean against the living room wall, his arm across Dean's chest. Cas' electric blue eyes held anger, but there was something hidden in them. They fell silent. Cas slowly lowered his arm. He walked up the stairs, Dean followed in silence. He walked to Rob and Julie's room and opened the door. “What are you doing?” Cas just held up his index finger. He went to the dresser and dug through the top drawer. He pulled something out and handed it to Dean. Dean examined the object. It was a syringe. “Why is your name on it?”

“So they don't use it by accident.”

“Why would they use it by accident?”

“Because that's the needle they use to drug me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how did you like the chapter? Was it worth the wait? Oh and for those reading my other story Silence of a Whisper, I'll be updating that soon! Anyways! Don't forget to comment and let me know what you think!


	4. Enough Is Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey peoples!!! I'm sorry I haven't updated this in a few months!!! I've been really busy with going to class for my G.E.D. then I got blocked!!! So with out further ado, chapter four!!!
> 
> ENJOY!

The needle dropped from his hand, falling to the floor with a light thud. He looked at Cas in horror. “Why would they do that?” His voice was barley a whisper. Cas bent over and picked up the needle, putting it back in the drawer then closing it. “Are you sure you can handle the answer?” Slowly turning his head to Dean, the light leaving his eyes to be replaced by a cold blue flame. “Nobody knows about this. Not even Charlie.” He took a few steps closer. “If you tell anyone, I'm dead. That's not a joke either. They will beat me with in an inch of my life. Rob was being nice when he pulled my lip ring out. That's what happens when you threaten to go to the cops. When I'm at school, I just feel better. Like I can be myself. When I'm here-” He sniffed then wiped his nose with the sleeve of his hoodie. “Charlie and Ellen were literally my only reason to get out of bed until you.” The usually well composed kid standing before Dean was slowly breaking down. Tears slowly filling his eyes. “I can't do it anymore Dean.” He used his other sleeve for his eyes.

 

Dean remained silent, afraid if he moved or said anything, Cas would lose what little composer he had left. “They shoot me up with heroin at least three times a week.” He sniffed the rest of the tears back. “Why Cas? I swear to you I won't tell a soul for as long as I live.” Cas took a deep breath, trying desperately to keep it together. “So they can rape me. It's been going on for years, at least three.” Dean felt like he was going to be sick. How could someone do that to a kid? “When was the last time they did this?” Cas walked past Dean, down the hall to his room. He pulled a key out of his pocket and unlocked the padlock. Dean assumed it was there so Rob and Julie couldn't steal his stuff. He opened the door, stepping inside. Dean looked around. There were posters everywhere from various bands ranging from All American Rejects to From First To Last, Seether, Halestorm, Linkin Park, and My Chemical Romance. Cas pulled out the chair from his desk then sat on his bed. Dean sat in the chair. “They tried last night. Usually Rob holds me down while Julie doses me. They wait for the heroin to kick in then, well...” He trailed off. Dean once again stayed silent, he didn't think he could talk anyway. Cas put his arms on his knees and leaned forward, dropping his head. “I have no control. I can't fight back or yell.” Dean got up and moved to the bed, sitting next to Cas and put his arm around him then pulled him close. Cas leaned against him, his body shaking with quiet sobs. Dean just held him until he stopped.

 

Cas wasn't himself the rest of the week at school. It was a few weeks until playoffs. Cas would still watch Dean practice, but he wouldn't get into it like he usually did. Charlie thought it was about the fight Cas got in with Rob, but Dean knew better. He wanted to do something but he didn't know what. Even if he did know what to do, how could he do it without Cas being taken away and put back in foster care? He was just so frustrated with the whole thing that he could barley focus on football. The coach noticed and pulled him aside, asking him what the problem was. "Just some personal stuff coach." He replied. He knew he could say what without putting Cas in the line of fire.

 

That night, He tried to call Cas but he wasn't answering. He called Charlie. "Hey football star." She answered. She had been calling him that since the game that clinched their spot in the playoffs. He would have laughed if he wasn't worried. "Hey, have you talked to Cas at all today after school? He didn't show up to watch me practice like he usually does." There was a slight pause, already giving Dean his answer. His head fell back and he let out a silent sigh. "Actually, no. Which is weird because he always calls me after school." That's what he was afraid of. He really wished she said yes.

 

"I'll pick you up and we'll go check out his house."

 

Ten minutes later, they drove by Cas' house. His motorcycle wasn't there. Dean sped up and almost fishtailed around the corner. "Where are we going?" Charlie asked looking over at Dean. Dean didn't answer for a minute. It was raining and dark so Dean turned his wipers and brights on. Even in the Impala losing control on the wet roads was an all to real danger. He couldn't imagine how hard it must be on a bike. "I think I know where he went. Keep your eyes open." Charlie looked ahead. Dean gripped the wheel tighter, praying his fears wouldn't be confirmed. "Dean..." She grabbed the sleeve of his varsity jacket and pointed out his side. Dean looked over to see a motorcycle on it's side. He pulled over, almost forgetting to unbuckle before getting out. They both stood there for a second when they realized it was Cas' bike. Dean's heart dropped and stopped at the same time. He ran forward, slamming his car door closed. He stopped when he reached the bike and instantly forgot how to breathe. Cas was trapped under his bike. He knelled down and slowly took Cas' helmet off. His eyes were closed. Dean pressed his ear to Cas' chest for a second then looked at Charlie. "He's alive, call 911." He looked back at Cas. His head was bleeding and his leg was trapped under the bike. Cas slowly opened his eyes. 

 

"Cas, hey. Stay still."

"Dean, what-"

"You crashed. Don't move."

Cas winced. "I think my leg is broken."

 

Cas remained still until the paramedics arrived. Dean and Charlie backed up and let them through. Charlie had her hand over her mouth, crying. Dean put his arm around her. "It's okay. He'll be okay." Not sure if he was trying to convince her or himself. Two firefighters slowly moved the bike off of Cas as one paramedic was asking Cas questions to keep him conscious. "What's your name honey?" She asked, holding his head. Cas moved his eyes to her. "Castiel Novak. Cas for short."

"That's a beautiful name Cas. How old are you?"

"Seventeen."

"Do you go to Lawrence High?"

 "Yes ma'am."

She lifted his head and put a brace around his neck. Cas looked down at his leg.

"Look at me Cas, tell me about yourself."

He looked back to her. "I, uh, I have a band." He said slowly, his eyes slipped closed.

"Hey, stay with me Cas. So you have a band?"

Cas' eyes rolled as they opened. "Where's Dean?"

 

She looked over at Charlie and Dean. Dean took a step forward, looking at her. She motioned for him come over there. "I'm right here Cas." He said getting on his knees in the wet grass. He grabbed Cas' hand. Cas smiled, eyes closed. "Hey, keep those beautiful blues open Cas." His voice cracked. Everything happened very quickly after that. He didn't even know what was going before he was being pulled away from Cas. Cas' body was shaking with convulsions. "He's going into shock." The female paramedic said. Dean's eyes didn't leave Cas. Charlie cried harder. He wrapped her in a hug.

Five minutes later, they were putting Cas in the ambulance. Dean didn't even notice the cop next to them until he spoke. "Is there someone you can call to get the bike?" Dean didn't answer right away. He continued to watch as they the paramedics hooked Cas up to an IV. "Yeah, my uncle. He owns the salvage yard in town" He said finally, still not looking away from Cas. The cop put his hand on Dean's shoulder. "Are you two following the ambulance? I'll need to ask a few questions when you get there." They closed the doors of the ambulance. Dean just kept his arm around Charlie and waled to the Impala, ignoring the cop. He opened the door for Charlie and walked around to the driver side, getting in and starting the car. The two stayed silent the whole ride to the hospital. 

 

****************************************************

 

Time seemed to freeze as they sat in the waiting room. "How to you know Castiel?" The cop asked. Dean had his head back looking at the ceiling. Charlie was staring at her feet. "I'm his friend. I've known him since he moved here." Charlie replied quietly. Dean leaned forward, his arms on his knees. "I'm his boyfriend." He said tonelessly, looking over at the cop. The cop looked up from his notebook to Dean. Dean continued to look at him. "That's not a joke. We've been together for a few weeks." The cop looked back at his little notebook. "To your knowledge, has Castiel ever done drugs?" Dean leaned back in his seat. Charlie looked up at the cop. She had no idea. Cas would be pissed at him, but they would find the heroin in his system soon enough. So Dean stalled. "Look, can we finish this later? I just found my boyfriend half dead on the side of the road." The cop closed that stupid notebook and nodded, walking out of the room. When he was gone, Dean got up and walked into the hall. Charlie followed. He looked down the hall to see a doctor walking over to them. Dean tugged on Charlie's jacket and nodded in the doctors direction. They both held their breath.

"We're keeping him in the ICU ward for the time being. One of his ribs punctured a lung and he's having trouble breathing on his own. His left arm is broken, and the bike shattered his right leg. His skull was also fractured from the impact. If he didn't have his helmet on, this would be a different story" Dean once again put his arm around Charlie. "He would be dead." He finished the doctor's thought. The doctor nodded. 

"When can we see him?" 

"He's not awake right now-"

"That didn't answer my question."

"For the time being, only one person can see him at a time." 

"You go." Charlie said. Dean looked at her. She half smiled then nodded. The doctor was already walking down the hall. Dean followed. The doctor pushed a button and the door opened. Dean continued to follow him. "Has he ever done drugs before?" Dean looked at him. "Why is everyone asking me that?" They both stopped. Dean was almost as tall as this man standing at five foot ten. "Because the toxicology report showed heroin in his system. He was high when he wrecked." Dean's heart stopped. There it was. His suspicions were confirmed. They drugged him for their own sick purpose. Again. But Cas left. He got away. This told Dean that Cas has had enough. He wanted out, he wanted to be free from them. "You don't have to answer right now." The doctor's words snapped Dean from his thoughts. They continued walking. They rounded a corner and stopped in front of a door. There was a name on it. 

C. Novak

"This might not be easy to see, he's pretty busted up and has a tube to help him breathe until he can on his own." _'If he ever can...'_   Dean mentally finished the thought. The doctor opened the door and Dean stepped inside. He was right, it wasn't easy to see. Dean took a deep breath and walked to Cas' bedside. The machines were the only sound in the otherwise quiet room. There was a cast on his left arm and right leg. His right forearm and ribs were wrapped in gauze, and a tube down his throat to help him breathe. He heard the door close behind him. "Jesus Christ Cas..." He whispered, moving strands of hair off Cas' forehead, which was also wrapped in gauze. He bent down and kissed his forehead. The more he looked at Cas, the more he saw red. Wrecking his bike wasn't his fault, it was theirs. He gently put his hand on Cas' chest, feeling it rise and fall. He bent down and kissed his forehead again. "I'll fix this Cas. I swear. I'll make sure they never tough you again." He whispered. He walked out of the room and down the hall. He pushed the door so hard it slammed against the wall. Charlie jumped and looked at him. "Dean?" He ignored her and walked right past. She looked from the door back to him then followed. 

"Dean what's wrong? What's going on?" Her voice carried a not of concern. Dean didn't say anything. He just got in the elevator and pushed the button for the first floor. When the elevator stopped, Dean and Charlie walked out. Dean led the way to the parking lot. Charlie grabbed his arm and stopped him. "Dean! What the hell is going on?" She repeated. Dean just stood there for a second, then turned around and looked at Charlie. "I'm gonna make damn sure Cas never goes back to that house. Ever."

"Dean, there is noting you can do about the abuse, I've tried but he never let me say anything."

"There's more than that going on. They've been drugging him for years Charlie."

"What? Why?"

"I'll put it like this: Date rape."

He turned and continued walking. He took his phone from his pocket and dialed. "I need another favor uncle Bobby. I need you to meet me at this address as soon as you can." He opened the door to the Impala and got in, looking at Charlie. "You going or not?" He asked as he started the car. It roared to life. Charlie looked back at the hospital, then back to Dean. "I'm gonna stay with Cas." Dean nodded and closed the door. He hung up with his uncle and texted him Cas' address. He threw the car in reverse and backed out, then threw it in drive and tore out of the parking lot leaving a trail of white smoke in his wake.

 

Ten minutes later he was knocking on Cas' door. As soon as the door opened, he pushed past Rob and made his way to the the stairs. Rob grabbed his arm. "Who the fuck are you?" Dean turned around slowly and looked at him. "Let go of me you sorry excuse of a human being." His voice cold and deadly. Rob flinched, but didn't let go. Dean simply pulled his arm free and continued to the stairs. "Julie, call the police." Dean stopped and turned around, smiling. "Yeah Julie. Call the cops. I'm sure they'd love to take both of you in for child abuse and child molestation. Not to mention the drugs that you have sitting on the table." Both of them stared at him. "Yeah, that's what I though. Free rids over fuckers. Cas isn't living here anymore." Rob grabbed him and pinned him against the wall. "See, I was hoping you would do something like this, because now the ass kicking I'm about to give you is self defense." Dean shoved Rob off him. Rob punched Dean in the face. Dean tackled him to the floor and started punching him in the face. "Dean!" His uncle pulled him off Rob before he did any life threatening. "Hey, calm down kid! You're here to get Cas' things not kill his foster dad!" Dean dealt one final blow in the form of a kick to Rob's head then let Bobby drag him up the stairs to Cas' room. Dean had managed to grab Cas' keys before Bobby took the bike to the shop. 

He unlocked the padlock and opened the door. Cas' room was a mess which was unusual for him. It must have happened during the fight. Cas managed to fight both of them off and out of his room and he locked it before he left. Ellen was right, he was a strong kid. Dean had already called Ellen and she told him Cas' could crash at The Roadhouse til he graduated. Dean walked to Cas' closet and stared grabbing clothes, Bobby was taking down the posters. It took them about three trips to get everything. 

 

After he dropped everything off at the Roadhouse, he thanked Ellen and Bobby for helping. Exhausted, he called Charlie and told her he'd pick her up and take her home and he'd stay with Cas all night.

And he did. He fell asleep in the worlds most uncomfortable chair just so Cas wouldn't be alone. He did this for a week. Going to the hospital after practice and fixing Cas' motorcycle at his uncle's shop. He'd show up around ten at night totally exhausted and practically falling asleep standing up and sleeping in that God awful, uncomfortable chair just in case Cas woke up and wouldn't be alone. Cas was breathing on his own now and the tube was finally gone. He collapsed in the stupid chair and held his head up with his hand, looking at Cas. There were only a few days left until playoffs and he was almost to tired to even practice, but football wasn't very high on his priorities. He just wanted Cas to get better. His eyes fluttered close. "Night Cas." He said seconds before falling asleep.

 

******************************

 

"Pssst, hey..."

"Hmm?"

"Not a morning person are you?"

"Stop poking me Cas..."

Dean's eyes flew open. Cas laughed. "And he figures it out ladies and gentlemen!"

"Cas...wha-...how..."

"Calm down before you blow a gasket Winchester. I'll cover the basics for you. I woke up about an hour ago and I'm fine. Except the stupid cast on my leg. Hell, they took the cast of my arm as soon as I woke up."

 

Cas moved back to the bed and sat down as Dean sat up. "What time is it?" He looked for his phone. Cas whistled and Dean looked at him. Cas was holding his phone, he tossed it to him. "What are you doing with my phone?" Cas smiled at him and raised his eyebrows. "Texting." Dean unlocked his phone.

"Wait...how did you unlock it, it has a password."

"I may have cracked my skull but I'm still a genius. Not to mention you should have my name as your password. That's the first thing people will try."

"Asshat. Who were you texting?"

"I called Charlie. She'll be here after lunch. I really didn't text anyone. Although, texting your mom pretending to be you was pretty tempting."

Dean looked at his phone. "Shit, I have to go. If I miss another morning practice I'll get benched." He stood up.

"Good thing you got a lot of horsepower in the Impala. Here's a tip: Speed. Run red lights. You'll be at school in no time."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Nice to see the crash didn't affect you at all." He put his jacket on and walked over to Cas. "I'll be back later." He kissed his lips. Cas grabbed his jacket and pulled him closer and down until Dean was on top of him. "Cas, I really have to go." He breathed into Cas' lips. Cas smiled but didn't let go. He just brushed his lips down Dean's neck. After what felt like hours, Cas let go. 

"Okay, you can go now." He smiled. Dean fixed his jacket and rolled his eyes. 

"Oh, Dean?"

"Hm?"

"Charlie told me what you did about Rob and Julie. Thank you."

"You're not pissed?"

"Do I look pissed?"

"No..."

"Then I'm not pissed. We'll talk about it later. You need to get to practice"

"Right, see you later. Get some rest."

He turned and walked to the door. "Hate to see you leave, but damn how I love to watch you go Winchester." Dean looked back at him and winked. 

 

*****

Later that day, Dean was at his second practice of the day. He was right on time for the morning practice. He was playing a lot better that day. Maybe because Cas was awake and just as a smart ass as ever. Almost like what happened a week ago didn't effect him. He wasn't sure if it really hadn't or if Cas was just hiding how much it did effect him. Dean took his helmet off and sat down. Grabbing his bottle of Gatorade and took a drink. "Good job out there Winchester." His coach slapped him on the back. "Yeah, way to play with that ball Winchester." Dean turned around to see Cas and Charlie standing about ten feet way. Dean stood up and walked over to them. "What are you doing here Cas? Shouldn't you be in the hospital?" Cas shrugged. "I busted out." Dean narrowed his eyes.

"Okay, geez, I was set free. Do you want to call my doctor and ask him mother?"

"Why did they discharge you?"

"Well, they ran a shit ton of tests after you left and everything was normal, which is actually an insult in my book because I am anything but normal."

Dean rolled his eyes. "No seriously, everything came back fine?"

"Yes Dean. I'm fine. I'm not going to spontaneously combust."

"Why are you wearing a hat?"

"Uh, because they shaved my head and stapled it back together. Even though I was wearing my helmet, I still cracked my skull and the force of my head hitting the ground sliced my head open."

"Yeah, didn't need to know that last part Cas. I was there."

"When I crashed?"

"No after. I took your helmet off."

"Huh. I just remember going down, then I woke up to your loud ass snoring this morning."

"You don't remember waking up when Charlie and I got there?"

"No, but I did just break my head so I think a little memory loss is normal."

"Do you remember why you crashed?"

Cas looked at him for a second before thinking, his eyes wandered to his feet. He looked up at Dean. "I remember what happened before, with Rob and Julie. I guess I got away through sheer willpower or something, but yes. I remember everything up until I crashed."

"What were you thinking, as it happened?" Charlie asked.

"Oh shit this is gonna hurt."

Dean looked at him. Even after all of that, he was making jokes about it. Dean looked behind him, making sure he wasn't needed on the field, then back to Cas. "Can you walk us through it?" Cas leaned his weight on one of his crutches and sighed. "It's kind of fuzzy, but I remember getting out of the house. I got on my bike and planned to going to the Roadhouse. I was about halfway there when I lost traction. I couldn't keep it from crashing. When I went down, the bike landed on my leg and my head slammed into the ground. I think I rolled three times before landing in the ditch and the bike landed on me. I lost consciousness after that, but before I did all I could remember thinking was _'I don't wanna go out like this.'_   I thought I was paralyzed because I couldn't feel anything until I realized it must have been from adrenaline." The three stood there in silence until Dean's coach broke it. 

"You're up Winchester. Move it."

"Yeah Winchester. I haven't seen you in spandex for awhile. I'm curious to see if your ass looks the same."

Dean rolled his eyes and moved in for a kiss. Again Cas pulled him closer, holding him there. If this was any other time, Dean wouldn't be opposed. "Winchester! Stop making out with your boyfriend and get your ass on the field!" Cas let go and Dean pulled away. "See you in a bit. There's something I want to show you."

 

*****

 

Dean took a quick shower after practice and got dressed in record speed. He put the strap of his duffle bag on his shoulder and walked out to the parking lot where Cas was waiting. Dean assumed Charlie went home or took off with Meg. "Ready?" He opened the door for Cas and took his crutches, putting them in the back seat before he got in. "Where to?" Cas asked. Dean smiled and started the Impala, putting it in reverse and backing out. "You'll see when we get there. It's a surprise."

A few minutes later, he pulled in front of his uncle's shop. "Why are we at an auto shop?" Dean just smiled and got out. He walked around and opened Cas' door the grabbed his crutches and handed them to him. "Follow me." He led the way around the back. He unlocked the door and they went inside. Cas noticed the shop was empty except for whatever was under a blue tarp in the middle of the garage. Dean walked over to it. Cas, however, stayed put. Dean pulled the tarp off to reveal Cas' motorcycle. Cas looked at him and smiled. "No way. You fixed it?" He moved closer.

"I'm surprised it didn't take me longer. I finished it last night." He pulled the keys out of his pocket and jingled them in front of Cas' face.

"Wanna see how she runs now?"

"I can't drive it with a broken leg."

"If I know you Cas, you won't let a broken leg stop you."

"Yeah, you're right. Besides, I use my right foot to put it in gear anyways."

He grabbed the keys. Dean turned around, grabbed something, and handed it to Cas. "It's not your original helmet. It was damn near cracked in half. So I got you a new one." Cas took the helmet and smiled. He handed Dean his crutches and swung his broken leg over the bike and started it up. She roared to life. Dean opened the garage door and Cas used his right foot to push it out. When he was out, Dean closed the door and walked to the Impala, putting Cas' crutches in the back seat then got in. Once Cas heard the Impala roar to life, he revved his bike, put it in gear and took off down the road. Dean was right behind him. Cas had to admit, he was a little nervous being back on his bike so soon after he wrecked it. He thought it was totaled. Thank goodness Dean was good at fixing cars. As soon as he was out of town, he hit the throttle. Going as fast as he possibly could. The bike topped out at 120. Dean was still right behind him. He weaved back and forth, checking the traction of the tires. Dean must have put new ones on. He slowed down and pulled into the Roadhouse, which had a few cars. Cas parked on the side and hopped off. Dean parked next to him. He got out and handed Cas his crutches. Cas grabbed them then took his helmet off with one hand. "Tell me you did not just drive that bike here Castiel James." Cas jumped and turned around to see Ellen with her arms folded.

"Uh..."

"You just got out of the hospital after wrecking it and you're riding with a broken leg? Do I need to slap you silly boy?"

"No ma'am. I won't do it again until the cast comes off. I swear."

"Damn right you won't 'cause I'm taking the keys."

Cas groaned as she walked over and took the keys out of Cas' hand. He heard Dean snicker behind him. "And you Dean Winchester, should have known better than to let him do it. Until that cast comes off, I expect you here every morning to pick Cas up for school and drop him off no later than ten on school nights." Cas turned his head and looked at Dean. Dean swallowed. "Yes ma'am."

"Good. Now get your asses inside."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...what did you think? Worth the wait? Make sure you leave a comment!


	5. Night On The Town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I still have quite a bit to do in this story and I well update as much as I can. anyways...
> 
> ENJOY!

"Get up Castiel! Dean will be here in twenty!"

Cas groaned and rolled over. He grabbed his pillow and threw it at the door. 

"I heard that!"

"Of course you did..." He muttered.

"I heard that too."

"Wha-...how? Are you a freaking bat or something? Do you have sonar hearing?"

"Nineteen minutes!"

"Alright! I'm going."

He rolled out of bed and grabbed a long sleeve thermal shirt with a skull on it and a pair of Tripp pants. He got dressed and walked out into the bar area where Ellen handed him a cup of coffee. He had gotten his cast off and traded it for a boot. Ellen still wouldn't give him the key to the motorcycle. She put a plate of eggs and bacon in front of him. "Better eat fast kid." He took a sip of his coffee as he ran his hand back and forth through his messy black hair. "Now, I know this weekend is playoffs and that you and Dean will be sharing a room, but if I find out you don't use protection-" Cas set his cup down and laid his head on the bar. "Ugh, please do not go there. We've only had sex twice. It's not like I can get him pregnant or the other way around." Ellen drummed her fingers on the bar. Cas looked at her and raised it head. "Yes ma'am." He took a bite of his eggs.

"That's better. Did you pack last night?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Everything? Clothes, deodorant, toothbrush, toothpaste, razors?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Anything else?"

Cas knew she meant condoms. He sighed and got up from the bar and went to his room and grabbed a box of condoms from his dresser and put them in his travel bag. He walked back out and sat in the stool and continued eating his eggs. "Good boy." She smiled and ruffled his hair. Cas fought the urge to stick out his tongue. He finished eating just as he heard the Impala pull up and shut off. The football players still had school all day since it took around thirty minutes to get to Kansas City where the state football playoffs were taking place. The even would take all weekend with the championship game being held on Sunday night. Whoever decided it would be a good idea to let Dean, Cas, and Charlie run around Kansas City unsupervised made a huge mistake. Dean walked in. Cas turned around and looked at him. "Well, you clean up nicely Winchester." Dean was wearing khaki dress pants, black dress shoes, a white button up long sleeve shirt, and a red tie. "Thanks. I'm supposed to wear my away jersey but I'll put it on at school. Ready to go?" Cas finished his coffee and nodded. "Just gotta get my bag first. Well, school bag and travel bag." Dean followed Cas to his room. Cas grabbed his school bag, Dean grabbed his travel bag. "I take it you still can ride?" Dean asked.

Cas groaned. "No. She hid the keys because I stared looking for them." Dean laughed.

"You'll get them back when the boot comes off." Ellen said as they walked past.

"Are you forgetting something Castiel?" Cas stopped and turned around. She was shaking a bottle of prescription medication. She tossed it at him and he caught it, putting it in his pocket.

"What are those for?"

"Discomfort in my leg, just in case."

 

Dean pulled into the parking lot and shut the car off. He reached in the back and pulled out a box and handed it to Cas. "Aww, you shouldn't have!" Dean rolled his eyes. Cas opened the box and stared at the contents for a minute before looking at Dean. "Call me old fashioned." He smiled. It was his home game football jersey. Cas took it out of the box and smiled. "You are so cheesy Winchester." Dean leaned back in his seat. After everything that happened to Cas, nothing about him changed. He was still Cas. "Cheesy, but effective." He smiled.

 

School that day seemed to drag on for the trio. They were finally in advanced drama. They were supposed to be rehearsing a group project, but Dean had other plans. He remembered the lightsaber battle the three were having his first day and walked backstage. He grabbed four lightsabers and handed them out. "Boys vs girls?" Meg asked. Cas looked at Dean then back to Meg. "Oh we are gonna own you." With that, the battle was on. Dean and Cas stood side by side, lightsabers at the ready. Cas flicked his eyes to Dean, then to Meg. Dean smiled. As soon as the girls charged forward, Both Dean and Cas poked Meg with their lightsabers. Dean quickly avoided and attack from Charlie. "Well, Megs out." Cas smiled. 

"That was totally unfair."

"All is fair in love and war sweetheart." Dean winked at her.

Meg moved to the corner of the stage and sat down, folding her legs. They boys circled around Charlie. "Charlie!" Meg tossed her lightsaber. Charlie caught it. Both boys looked at Meg. She shrugged and smiled. "All is fair boys." She winked. Cas rolled his eyes. They moved in. Charlie blocked and dodged their attacks. She started pushing Cas back. Cas looked behind him, he was close to the edge of the stage. Charlie aimed low for his good leg. Even if he just jumped, he would probably fall of the stage. So he pushed off with his good foot and did a back flip off the stage. He landed on his good leg, but his weight was too much for it to handle and he fell back on his ass. "Holt shit!" Charlie and Dean dropped their lightsabers and ran to the edge of the stage. Cas looked up at them and laughed. "Did you just see that?! That was fucking awesome!" He stood up and brushed himself off. "Are you okay?" Dean asked.

"I'm fine. I landed on my right leg."

Dean jumped off the stage. "Alright, settle down guys. We don't want Cas breaking his other leg." Crowley said.

 

As soon as class ended, they boys followed Charlie to her house so she could get her things. Meg would meet them in Kansas City later that night. Charlie walked to the car with a blue, pink, and purple plaid duffle bag. She threw it in the back seat and got in. "Let's go bitches." Dean smiled and took off down the road.

 

"Okay, would you rather do Depp or Bloom?"

"Can I have a three way?"

"No Cassie."

"Depp, he has more experience."

"Yeah. I'm gonna say Depp."

It was around four when they got there. Dean checked in at the hotel and went to meet up with the coach. Cas took their things to the room. He swiped the key card and opened the door. He walked inside and set their things on the floor and jumped on the queen sized bed, landing on his back. He sat up and moved to the headboard and shook it. It was screwed to the wall. "Perfect." He smiled moving off the bed, dubbing it fit to "have fun" in. He walked over to his bag and grabbed a few things and a change of clothes, deciding to take a quick shower.

Dean walked in the room, letting the door close behind him. "Cas?"

"In the bathroom."

Dean opened the bathroom door. He half expected to find Cas naked, but he was fully clothed, and running gel through his hair. Cas turned to him, then Dean saw what he was wearing. A black leather biker jacket, a white Sex Pistols shirt, and black worn and ripped skinny jeans. "Got a hot date or something?" Dean smiled. Cas washed the gel off his hands then dried them. He closed the gap between them. "Damn right. Now get dressed. Were gonna paint this town tonight Winchester." 

Twenty minutes later, the trio was walking through downtown Kansas City. "Hey, check it out." Cas pointed to a bar. Dean and Charlie looked at him. "And how are we supposed to get in?" Charlie asked. Cas flashed a smile and dug in his jacket pocket. "With these. I made copies of our licenses and changed the date of birth. Congrats guys! We're twenty-one now!" He handed them the fake ID's. They looked at them. Dean looked up at Cas. "How did you get our drivers licenses?"

"A magician never gives away his secrets Dean." He smiled, leading the way to the bar entrance. They all handed the bouncer the ID's. He looked at the ID's then to the trio. "You look a little young to be twenty one." His deep voice boomed. Cas smiled. "Awww, thank you!" He grabbed the ID's from the man and walked inside. Dean and Charlie followed. Once inside, Cas handed them the fake ID's. "Did we just get away with that?" Charlie beamed with excitement. Cas put his arm around her. "Sure did Red. I am a genius after all." He winked at her. They walked over to the bar and sat down. "What'll it be guys?" The bartender asked. Cas looked at the selection. "Three shots of Jack." The bartender nodded and pulled out three shot glasses, filling them with Jack Daniels and sliding them in front of the trio. Cas held his up. "To Meg! Because the bitch is missing out." They laughed and took their shots, slamming the glass on the table when they finished. Three shots later, Charlie decided to look at what the jukebox had to offer. Cas turned around and leaned against the bar. A young woman took Charlie's place next to him. "What happened to your leg?" She asked after a minute. Cas looked at her. "Broke it when I crashed my motorcycle." She nodded, taking a drink of her beer. 

"So you live around here?"

"Nope, just here for the weekend."

"What are you here for?"

"It's a secret." He winked.

"Well at least let me buy you a drink."

Cas looked at her and laughed, catching on to what she was doing. "You're barking up the wrong dick honey. I don't play for your team." He turned back around and put his arm around Dean, who smiled at him. He looked out of the corner of his eye and watched as the lady left. He took another shot. "Well, that was fun." He said setting the glass on the bar. Charlie sat next to him again. Cas turned to Dean and pulled him closer, kissing his lips. "Gag, get a room you two." Dean looked over at her. "We have one. Why, did you want to watch or something?" Cas looked back and forth between them. 

"How about we see who can last the longest?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You and me against Charlie and Meg."

"Yeah...that's not happening."

"What are the rules?"

"Really Charlie? Don't encourage him."

"No enhancement meds and-"

"Cas, no. We're leaving to our own room."

"I texted Meg. She down."

"We're in room 124, knock four times so we know it's you."

"Okay, and we're leaving."

Dean grabs a fistful of Cas' jacket. "You're in it now Winchester, might as well accept." He slapped Dean on the ass. Dean just began to pull Cas away.

"Oh! And no going down and no playing with yourselves!" Cas continued the rules.

"You wanna say that louder Cas? I don't think China heard you."

"And no going-"

"Nope, lets go rock star."

"And whichever couple comes first-"

Dean covered Cas' mouth. Everyone was looking at him. "Sorry." He apologized over and over until they made it out if the bar. Cas pulled out his phone and called Charlie. "And no getting the first round out of the way so you last longer." Dean grabbed the phone. "Sorry Charlie, bet's off."

"Oh come on Dean, where's your scene of adventure?"

"We'd lose anyway."

"How do you know?"

Dean walked Cas back to the wall, pinning him to the brick building. He brushed his lips up Cas' neck, across his jaw, then to his lips. "Because I'm gonna take my time with you."

 

Dean swiped the key card and pushed Cas through the door. They were practically tearing at each others clothes. Dean ripped Cas' jacket off and let it drop to the floor. He walked him back to the bed and pushed Cas down. He moved to Cas' travel bag and grabbed a condoms and lube, tossing them on the bed as he ran a hand up Cas' shirt, then pulled it over his head. Cas pulled off Dean's army green jacket. Dean pulled his own shirt over his head and it dropped to the floor. He leaned down and brushed his lips up Cas' stomach to his chest. He Grabbed Cas' hands and pinned them underneath him. "Rule number two: No playing with yourself." Cas' head fell back to the bed. "Well look at you go Winchester. Alright, I'll bite." He sat up and took off his shoe and took off the lace and handed it to Dean. Dean raised his eyebrows. Cas held out his arms. Dean pushed Cas back down, flipping him over and tied his hands behind his back. He rolled Cas back over. He grabbed the condom and ripped it open with his teeth. He took of his jeans and boxers, rolling the condom on. He unbuttoned and slowly unzipped Cas' jeans, pulling them down, his boxers going down with them. Only problem was, Cas' cast. Dean slowly removed it from Cas' leg and even more slowly pulled his jeans the rest of the way off. "Dean, That's not really necessary. It's just a brace and it's only there as a precaution." Dean looked at him. "See?" He moved his ankle and his toes. Dean shook his head.

He grabbed the lube and squirted a few drops on his fingers and worked it around his tip. Then he rubbed he rest on Cas' entrance.

Cas felt the first finger go in and tensed up for a second, telling himself to relax. The last time Cas was on the receiving end without being drugged was sophomore year. Even then, he never really allowed himself to enjoy it. But tonight, with Dean, everything was just so distant. Like nothing else mattered or existed. Only Dean. For that, he was thankful.

He felt another finger. He arched his back and bit his lip. Dean started working his fingers, opening Cas. Then all to soon, Dean pulled his fingers out. It was quickly replaced with the tip of his dick. Cas closed his eyes and relaxed himself. Dean slowly pushed himself inside, stopping every few seconds to allow Cas to get used to the feeling. After a minute, Dean bottoms out and slowly works his hips. Dean angled himself, searching for that cluster of nerves, slowly pressing on it. Cas grabbed a fistful of the blanket under him, a soft moan escaped past his lips. Dean kept his agonizingly slow pace. Holding his position and just barely brushing the tip against his prostate. Cas arched his back and moaned, trying to match Dean's movements with his hips, trying to get Dean deeper. Dean's hands suddenly pinned his hips to the bed. Still Dean kept his pace. Cas opened his eyes. "Dean..." He moaned softly. Dean's jade green eyes met his, a cocky grin grew. He leaned forward. "What Cas, you want me to fuck you like you fuck me?" He whispered, sending chills down Cas. Cas couldn't do anything but nod. Dean chuckled. "Too bad. I told you I was gonna take my time with you." He moved his hips a fraction faster. Cas fought the urged to roll Dean over and just ride him like he was a cowboy and Dean was a bull.

Dean straightened and pushed just a little more in to that cluster of nerves, moving his hips just the tiniest bit faster. Cas squeezed his eyes shut and made a noise between a gasp and a moan. This was all so new to him. Every movement, every feeling, but all of it Dean. All of it because of Dean, and it wasn't just the sex. Everything emotion Cas felt with Dean was new. And Dean didn't want to just fuck his brains out. Cas knew Dean wanted him to enjoy the receiving end for a change. 

Cas tilted his head back. "God Dean.....So good!" Digging his blunt nails into the bedding, biting his lips as even more moans filled the room as Dean continued to push all the right buttons. Dean had him right were he wanted him. Cas knew he wasn't going to let him off that easy, and he didn't. He stopped, knowing Cas was so close to the edge. He leaned over and brushed his lips down Cas' jaw to his neck. Waiting, pulling Cas from the edge. Cas didn't know whether to curs or praise Dean for this action. They were still for only seconds, but to Cas it felt like hours. Then, mercifully, Dean continued. Pulling out almost all the way and slowly pushing back in until his dick hit the spot just hard enough. Dean pulled out just enough so he wasn't touching the bundle of nerves, then pushed in. He kept repeating this until Cas was a mess underneath him. Eyes closed, biting his lip, arching his back, and moaning Dean's name. Cas begged for release, but at the same time he didn't want it to end. He just wanted to be there, on the bed with Dean, having Dean make love to him forever.  _Making love_. Two words he never thought would ever happen let alone cross his mind.

"Dean..."

"Shhh, I've got you."

Cas started rocking his hips in rhythm with Dean's. 

"God...Dean..."

"Look at you, so close. You want it, don't you?"

Dean was giving Cas a whole new meaning to the term fuck my life.

"Yes, God yes!"

"If you ask nicely, maybe I'll let you have it."

_Fuck his life._

"Please Dean, make me come!"

Dean's head fell back with a moan. He continued his pace but pushed in harder, hitting his prostate in such a way that had Cas seeing stars, on a cloud of pure bliss. Cas came completely undone, feeling the heat coil as he moved his hips a little faster as he was coming. His head tilted back, moaning as his body shook with the force of the orgasm. "God Cas!" Dean moaned. He took Cas' dick in his hand and stroked him. Cas wrapped his legs around Dean and flipped him over. "My turn." He smiled, moving his hips back and forth. Dean had his fun, now Cas was about to have his. Dean moved his hand faster, stroking this tip of Cas' dick and twisting his hand. Cas looked at him, catching on to what Dean was trying to do. He was trying to make Cas come a second time, and it was working. The feel of Dean's hand around him and the feel of Dean  _in_ him was already enough to send him flying a second time. "Come with me Cas." Dean moaned. Dean stroked faster. Cas matched his rhythm.

"Cas..."

Cas slowed his hips, Dean kept his pace.

"Castiel... _please_..."

"Fuck Dean!"

Cas was coming a second time. He kept moving his hip. "God Cas, I'm coming!" Dean slowed his hand as Cas slowed his hips. Both their bodies shook, hands and hips went still. After a minute both boys went still, still breathing heavily. Dean reached around and untied Cas' hands before Cas got up slowly then collapsed on the bed next to Dean. Cas put his arm over his face. Dean moved it and Cas looked at him. "Jesus Winchester, I didn't think you had that in you." Dean laughed. "Oh ye of little faith." He kissed Cas' forehead. Cas looked at the clock. 

"Wow, we just did that for an hour and a half. It's 11:43. You need to get some sleep. Can't have you to tired to throw the ball." They got up and cleaned off. Cas pulled the bedding down and collapsed on the bed, Dean soon followed suit. They pulled up the blankets and settled in. Cas wrapped his arm around Dean listening as his breathing evened out. Cas smiled to himself and kissed the back of Dean's head before letting sleep take him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you think about their night on the town in Kansas City?
> 
> Bar scene brought to you by my friend Shannon and myself. 
> 
> Make sure you comment! They really help me keep this going!


	6. The Boys Of Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so do you guys remember back in chapter two where Dean took a bunch of pictures? Well, Cas is about to get his revenge.
> 
> And here I thought I'd get something done for The Silence Of A Whisper...hehe oops! Anyway...
> 
> ENJOY!
> 
> By the way, yes the title is from the Kenny Chesney song. It fits.

Dean woke up and rolled over to find the space next to him empty. He opened his eyes and sat up to see Cas standing on the balcony, half dressed and smoking a cigarette. Dean got up and put his pants on. He opened the sliding glass door and stepped out into the cool autumn morning. Cas looked behind him and smiled. "Morning football star." He turned around and rested his elbows on the railing. Dean walked to him, putting his hands on the railing and trapping Cas. "Morning rock star." He kissed him gently. Cas pulled him closer with one hand, deepening the kiss. There was a knock on the and Dean pulled away, hanging his head and groaning. "Six in the morning." He walked to the door. "Charlie I swear..." He swung it open and...

"Mom!"

"Hey sweetie!"

"When did you get here?"

"About twenty minutes go." Her smile faded.

"Dean, why is there a tattooed shirtless boy standing on the balcony smoking a cigarette?"

 _Shit._ "Uh, yeah, I can explain that..." He kept forgetting to tell his mom about Cas.

Cas turned around and dropped his cigarette. He walked inside the room, closing the door behind him.

"Mom, this Cas."

"Oh so this is who was in the shower with you!"

Dean and Cas looked at each other then back to her.

"What?"

"Dean, did you really think I didn't notice the extra pair of shoes by the front door?"

"Uh..."

"Honestly Dean. I'm kind of insulted you didn't just tell me."

"Wait, so your not pissed I ditched school?"

She looked at him and smiled. "I was a teenager once too. I know how it goes. I just wish you would have told me about him when you first got together." She stepped inside and walked over to Cas. "Well it's nice to finally meet you Cas." She extended her hand. Cas shook it. "Nice to meet you to Mrs Winchester." He let go after a second and walked over to his travel bag, grabbing some clothes. "I'm just gonna go change." He walked into the bathroom and closed the door. Dean grabbed his shirt from last night and put it on. Dean sat on the bed and Mary took the chair. "So I assume you were safe last night?" Cas apparently heard this from the bathroom and started laughing. Dean's face turned red. "Yes ma'am, and shut up Cas!" Cas laughed harder. "At least I'm not the only one now!" He called through the door.

"You're not helping Cas!"

"At least she knows you wore one last night!"

"Really Cas? Do not make me go in there!"

"Don't threaten me with a good time Dean!"

Dean looked at his mom, mortified. Dean was not expecting the reaction he got. "I like him. Good sense of humor." The bathroom door flew open and Cas took a picture. Dean looked at him. Cas laughed. "I told you I'd get you back for all those pictures on our first date." And closed the door. Dean looked back at his mom. "That is so not what it sounds like!" Cas continued laughing. Dean heard the doorknob and got up, holding the door closed. "Really Dean? This is your plan?" He said through his laughter.

"You can come out if you promise to behave."

Cas went silent.

"Well?"

"I can't promise that. That's like an alcoholic promising he won't drink."

Now Mary was laughing. "Alright Dean, let him out."

"Yeah Dean, let him out. She likes him. Good sense of humor, remember?"

Dean rolled his eyes and opened the door. "At least try to behave." Cas smiled and drew a halo around his head.

 

***************************

 

Dean was standing in front of his locker. He had been in this locker room for the fourth time. Some people called him the golden boy because he has yet to lose a game. He was still nervous as hell, he was always nervous before a game. He took a deep breath and put on his long sleeve black Underarmor shirt then his shoulder pads. He grabbed his maroon away jersey and pulled it over his head and pads. "Alright guys, gather 'round!" The coach called. Dean grabbed his helmet then took a knee in front of the coach. "I'm going to do something different this year." They all looked at him. "I think it's only fitting that the senior captain give the speech this year since this is the last high school playoff he'll be in. Dean?" Dean stood up and faced the team, clearing his throat. "Right, uh, for some of us, this is our last year. And I know you juniors think you have big shoes to fill next year but you really don't. As far as this weekend goes, don't pressure yourselves into thinking you have to win just because we came in undefeated. Don't get cocky either, then you'll lose. Even then, it doesn't matter. As long as you do your best, love the game, and play your heart out, you've already one. So what do you say we go out there, have some fun, and kick it in the ass!" The team yelled. "Are we gonna kick it in the ass?" He yelled over them. They all yelled in unison, getting to their feet. "All right then! Let's do this!" They all ran out into a single file line. Dean went after all the players, but before the coaches. They stood in the hall, waiting to be introduced. Some of the guys were jumping up and down, getting ready. Dean just stood there and closed his eyes, mentally preparing himself like he always did. "Praying to the football Gods golden boy?" Benny hit his pads and Dean opened his eyes. "How else do you think we've been undefeated?" He smiled. The Blue Vally Tigers were introduced first. They were had eight wins and two losses. "And now the Lawrence Lions!" The crowd cheered as the ran on to the field.

Dean looked in the stands to see his friends and family cheering. His eyes fell on Cas who was wearing his home jersey. Apparently, Charlie, Meg and Cas convinced Sam and Mary to dance with the band. Dean smiled. "Winchester, warm up!" Coach yelled as the reached the sidelines. Dean picked up a ball. "Micheal! Let's go!" He yelled at the second string QB. They stood about twenty yards apart and threw the ball back and forth. Every now and then, Dean would stretch out his shoulder. Everyone stood for the National Anthem, Dean and Michael stopped warming up and face the flag. 

"Winchester, Trenton, Lafitte, Tran! Coin toss!"

The four boys walked out to the fifty yard line. "Call it in the air Lawrence." Dean stepped forward. The ref flipped the coin into the air. "Tails." Dean said. The crowd was silent, waiting those agonizing seconds until the coin hit the ground. Le ref looked at it. "Tails. Your call Lawrence." Dean pulled his guys back, looking over at the other team. "I've studied every team that made it here. These guys, they don't have the distance. We get it first, tire 'em out by halftime. Easy game." Dean said to the three. They agreed. Dean tuned to the ref. "We'll receive."

The ref backed up and turned on his mic. "Lawrence, receive." The Lawrence crowd cheered. Dean looked at Kevin. "Tran, you get the ball and take a knee. That'll put us at the fifty, got it?" Kevin nodded and took his place on the field. Dean went back to the sidelines and continued warming up.

 

Dean walked out on to the field, helmet in hand. There were cameras everywhere since this was being televised. Before the game, he would always be nervous, but as soon as he stepped out onto the field he fed off the crowd. The adrenaline rush. Dean looked at the Lawrence crowd, the sea of maroon and white. His eyes scanned for Cas, finding him eating nachos with Charlie and drinking a soda, wearing Dean's home jersey over his hoodie. His mom and Sam were wearing matching hoodies that said "Lawrence Football" with Dean's number on the front. Dean smiled and put his helmet on, joining the huddle. "Alright guys, let's party." He said after telling them the play. They all took their places. Dean right behind a kid named Dylan. He called out the play down the line, in this case it was "Blue 75" and looked down the line making sure everyone was where they were supposed to be. "Hut!" The ball was snapped. Dean caught it and took three long steps back. His eyes scanned for his men, finally finding Cole. He threw the ball and a second later, Cole caught it and took of down the field. Making it to the fifteen before being tackled. The crowd was on their feet. Dean ran down to the fifteen yard line. He told his guys another play and they lined up. He called the play and everyone was in place. "Hut!" He caught the ball and faked pitched it to Cole, instead he pitched it to Benny. Benny ran it in for a touchdown. The crowd was roaring. Dean looked over at the coach and held his index finger up, signaling for one more. "One more! One more!" He called out. His players lined up again. Dean called out the play. "Hut!" He caught the ball. One of the other team got lose and ran towards Dean. He needed to get rid of the ball and fast. He ran back a few yards, finding Cole in the end zone. As soon as the ball left his hand, he was taken down, hitting the ground hard. Cole caught it and the ref signaled touchdown. Dean got up slowly. "You good brotha?" Benny asked. Dean took his helmet off and smiled. "Yeah, I'm good.  He was a lightweight." He patted Benny on the back as they walked off the field. They band started playing and Dean found Cas and Charlie hip bumping each other in the stands. He rolled his eyes and smiled. "Good job Winchester! Keep it up!" Coach shook him lightly by the shoulder pads before Dean sat down.

 

*********************

 

"Alright boys, you worked your asses off to get here. You've played your hearts out and I'm proud of all of you." Dean looked up at the coach. They had won every game and Dean was about to step out on to the field for the last time in his high school football career. The Championship game. "Winchester, take it away." Dean stood up and faced his teammates. "Alright, these guys play dirty so don't let them get to you. Don't let them get in your head. Just play how we've been playing and we got this in the bag. We're faster, and more levelheaded. They'll try to beat us down and psych us out, so we'll hit them were it hurts: the scoreboard. Now let's kick it in the ass!"

The flooded out into the hall and waited to be announced. Running out on to the field when they were. Every game so far had been a shut-out. Dean stretched out his shoulder as he walked across the field next to the coaches. He looked at the stands, Mary had her camera out and was recording, Sam was taking pictures. He found Charlie but didn't see Cas. Charlie pointed down to the fence. Dean followed to see Cas leaning against the fence, his leather biker jacket over Dean's jersey. Dean walked over to him. "I didn't get the chance to give you a kiss for luck." Cas smiled. It was true. Dean left early before Cas woke up to go over plays with the coaches. Cas grabbed Dean's jersey and pulled him closer, their breath mingled just before they kissed. Dean breathed in. Cas smelled like leather, cigarettes, and Axe body spray. Dean pulled away after a few seconds. "Gotta go." He gave Cas a quick peck on the lips and backed up smiling.

***

There were twenty seconds left in the second quarter. They were up by three. Dean was scrambling to get everyone where they needed to be. He looked at the play clock the back down the line. "Hut!" He caught the ball and was in immediate danger of being sacked. The defenders had been on his ass all night. Benny tackled one and Dean almost fell over them trying to get away from the other. Cole was about ten yards from the end zone. Dean threw the ball. He was grabbed around the collar and thrown to the ground. The Lawrence crowd was on their feet, booing at the other team. Cole ran it in for a touchdown. some of the Lawrence crowd cheered, others will still booing at what had just happened to Dean. Dean got up, took off his helmet, and walked up to the ref. "Hey! Are fucking blind or just stupid! I know you just saw that!" 

"Watch it kid."

"Call a fucking penalty already! They've been cheating the whole time!"

Benny grabbed Dean. "It ain't worth it Dean, lets go."

Dean hit his helmet and shook his head. "Fucking ridiculous." He started walking back with Benny. Lawrence got the extra point. A player from the other team shoulder checked Dean. "Watch it fag." Dean stopped and looked at him. "What did you just call me?" The kid turned and looked at him.

"You heard me faggot. Go kiss your freak boyfriend some more."

Dean could handle people calling him names, but one thing he wasn't about to let stand was this jerk-off call Cas a freak. Dean got in the kid's face.

"What you gonna kiss me faggot?"

"You son of a bitch. I should knock you teeth out."

The kid shoved him. "What are you gonna do?"

Oh that's _it_!

Before he could do anything. Benny grabbed him. "Let it go brotha. You'll get him back." Dean looked at the kids jersey. Number twenty-three. Dean didn't turn away from the kid, he walked backwards to the side line. "Hey! Winchester!" He heard Cas call from behind him. He walked to the fence.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself. What was all that about with number twenty-three?"

"He called me a fag."

"He what?"

"He called you a freak."

"Oh, how nice of him."

"Come on Cas. It's really not funny."

"I know it's not, but learned a long time ago laughing at people like that is better than getting pissed."

Dean sighed. "Guess you're right."

"Of course I'm right. Now meet me by the concessions in two minutes."

"For what?"

"Call it a halftime pick me up."

 

Dean did as Cas said. He told his coach he was going to talk to his mom and brother and made his way to the concessions. Suddenly, he was being pulled into a one person bathroom. "Cas? What-" Cas closed and locked the door behind him. "Shh." He closed the distance and brushed his lips down Dean's jaw. "Be very quiet. You don't want to get caught with your pants down do you?" It didn't take Dean long to figure out what he meant. Cas untied the pants and pulled them down. "Cas, are you crazy?"

"I thought we've been over this, it hasn't been fully proven." He lowered himself to his knees, Dean watched. To be honest, this was kind of hot. And looking down into Cas' electric blue eyes didn't help. "I see you like this game Winchester." Cas mused before flicking his tongue across the tip of Dean's dick. Dean closed his eyes for just a second, then Cas put his mouth around his tip and slowly moved down the shaft. Dean grabbed onto the sink, his head fell back with a moan. He pushed his hips forward. Causing Cas to take more, and he did. Cas took damn near all of it. Dean bit his lip to keep from crying out. Cas moved back and forth along the shaft, and all Dean could do was hold on to the sink for dear life. Cas worked his tongue around the tip, moving back down. He dragged his teeth up the shaft, Dean couldn't help but let a moan escape. "Fuck Cas!" Cas just smiled and continued, moving faster since time was not on their side. He would have loved to have just taken his time and send Dean to the moon, but they only had minutes. Cas worked his hand and mouth faster. Dean moved his hips in rhythm. "God Cas I'm gonna come!" He breathed. Cas hummed in response, letting him know he was free to. The hum sent vibrations down Dean's shaft. Dean grabbed Cas' hair and pulled him away a fraction of a second before he was coming. "Cas..." His head fell forward. Cas looked up at him and smiled.

"Feel better now?" He asked standing. 

"Halftime pick me up? Really?"

"Did it work?"

"I should say so."

"Good. Now get your ass back out there and win it for your boy." 

 

*****

 

Ten seconds left in the fourth and the game was tied. There was no way in hell he was about to let this game go into overtime. There was only one problem, number twenty-three. The whole second half he was on Dean like white on rice, making it very difficult for Dean to make a play let alone get rid of the damn ball. 

 _Ten_...

The ball was snapped. He took a few steps back, eyes scanning.

 _Nine_...

Number twenty-three broke free of his blocker, as well as another opposing team member.

 _Eight_...

Dean was under pressure. Finally finding Benny, he threw the ball.

 _Seven_...

They were still after him. One tackled him low while the other went high.

 _Six_...

Benny caught the ball and ran it in for a touchdown.

 _The clock stopped_...

Due to the two tackling him, Dean flipped through the air, the back of his head was the first thing to hit the ground.

 

Everyone was jumping up and down, cheering. Cas wasn't. He had seen the two players tackle Dean. He had seen Dean hit the ground. Dean wasn't moving. "Cas?" He didn't say anything or look away from Dean. Charlie followed his eyes. "Oh my God..." Her hands flew to her mouth. Cas slowly made his way to the fence and jumped over it, ignoring the security. Everyone was just catching on because of all the excitement. Number twenty-three was backing away from Dean, taking off his helmet and trying to hide his smile. Cas walked right up to him and spun the kid around. "You think this is funny? You think gay bashing is funny?" Cas punched the kid in the face. "How about a gay bashes you! You mother fucker!" Cas tackled the kid to the ground and got on top of him. He hit him in the face four times before security got to him and pulled him off. Cas looked down at Dean and stopped struggling. Some lady walked up to the security guard and flashed her badge. "I'll take him." She said. Cas looked at her, his eyes like ice piercing her.

"I'm not going anywhere until I know that my boyfriend is okay you can put me in handcuffs if you want. I'm still not going anywhere." She walked over to him and pulled out her handcuffs then looked at the guards. "Get the other two boys too. As of right now, they are being charged with assault. I saw what happened. They had plenty of time to stop the hit after he got rid of the ball. They meant to do this." Cas looked at her. She returned the look before Cas looked back at Dean. The paramedics were around him. One slowly took his helmet off. Was this how Dean felt when he saw Cas lying on the road? He wouldn't admit to Dean or even Charlie that he did remember that moment. When he woke up on the ground and had seen Dean looking down at him. The look on Dean's face was a mix of being terrified and relieved. The sound of Dean's voice told Cas he was trying hard to keep it together. Cas didn't know why he didn't tell anyone, maybe he felt guilty for putting Dean through that."

One of the paramedics pulled Dean's eyelids up and shined a light on them. _Please wake up Dean._ They put a neck brace around him and put him onto a stretcher. He heard them say Dean possibly had a concussion. Before they took him, Dean opened his eyes.

He looked around and his eyes fell on Cas who was staring intently. "Cas?"

"Dean! Hey, are you okay?"

"Why are you in handcuffs?"

"Who cares?! Just tell me you're okay!"

"My head hurts, but I think I am."

Cas huffed a sigh of relief.

"Now why are you in handcuffs?"

  
"Well, I'm kind of being arrested for assault. Apparently beating the crap out of one of the kids that hit you is frowned apon."

"What?!" He tried to get up.

One of the paramedics pushed him back down. He took the neck brace off. Hands were all over him, trying to keep him on the stretcher. All of them failing. "Dean, what are you doing? You have to go to the hospital!" Dean shook free of the paramedics. "No, I really don't."

"Dean, if you don't get your ass back on that stretcher and at least go get checked out, I will put you there myself."

"Fine, but I'm not staying."

 

"Look, you can charge me but you can't question me with out a parent or guardian present because I'm under eighteen." Cas put his hands on the table. The lady looked at him, then wrote something. "Look Castiel I know why you did it, I get it." She didn't look up. "Wait, how did you know my whole first name? I never told you that and I don't have a record."

"But you do have a CPS file." She held up the manila folder. 

"Castiel James Novak. Born in May of '98 to a Naomi Novak and a Danny Marks. They were both druggies, dad got busted with a kilo of coke the day you were born. You had to be weaned off the drugs, mom got clean after that. Mom was allowed to keep you, dad got out on parole the same day she disappeared and you got thrown into the system. How am I doing so far?" Cas leaned back in his seat, not taking his eyes off her. "I've been working your case for a few years now." She slid the folder over to him. "Yeah? Where were you a few weeks ago, hell where have you been the last five years?"

"Looking for you."

"I live thirty minutes away in Lawrence. I've been there pretty much this whole time."

"I have no record of that. the couple you were with never signed any papers to take you home and foster you."

"So how were they getting money for fostering me?"

"We're investigating that."

"Wait a minute, if you have no record of them and they never signed any papers, does that mean the freaking kidnapped me?"

"Yes Castiel, that's why we couldn't find you. Someone must have been slipping the checks out to them."

"Okay, can I go now? I want to make sure Dean is okay."

"One more thing. Your mother, she was abducted by your dad. When she got away, she started looking for you."

Cas swallowed the lump in his throat. His mom was looking for him? "Where is she?" He asked without missing a beat. She sat back in her seat and looked at the door which opened seconds later. A woman about an inch shorter than him walked in. She was wearing a hoodie, jeans, and boots. Her hair color was the same as his, her eyes the same shade of blue. She looked almost just like him. He stood up, almost knocking his chair over. "Mom?" She stood there for a second. "Castiel? Is it really you?" She took a step closer. 

He shrugged and smiled. "Last time I checked, yeah."

She walked to him. "Oh my boy!" She wrapped her arms around him. He was surprised at first but returned the hug. He didn't know how long they stood there hugging. She finally pulled away. "Let me get a good look at you." She took a step back and looked at him. "My gosh you've grown so much." She smiled.

"That tends to happen over five years."

 

Cas was released in his mom custody. The first thing they did was go to the hospital. Cas led the way. When they reached Dean's room, he was getting dressed. "So what's the word Cas?" He looked at him and smiled. "I could ask you the same thing." Cas leaned in the doorway. "Well, apparently I'm extremely lucky. Only got a concussion, a minor one. I'll live. What about you?" Cas rubbed his head. "Well, more than likely I'll get probation for the assault charge and oh yeah, I found my mom." Dean stopped putting his shoe on and looked up at him. "You're kidding?"

Cas shook his head. "Turns out, she's been looking for me this whole time but could find me since my records from the foster home mysteriously disappeared after Rob and Julie took me." He scratched the back of his head and waled over to Dean. "Nice pass by the way. Very riveting stuff." Dean scoffed and stood up, stomping his shoe on the rest of the way. "Yeah, if only I was upright to see it." Cas flashed a smile. "Oh you won't be upright for long Winchester. We have some celebrating to do."

"Really Cas? My head is killing me."

"Hey, sex cures headaches."

Dean rolled his eyes and put his arm around Cas and they walked out of the room. "Oh! I almost forgot, Dean, meet my mom. Naomi Marks. Mom, this is my boyfriend Dean."

Dean shook her hand. "Nice to meet you ma'am."

"Nice to meet you too Dean."

They all walked out together and Dean stood next to the Impala. "So boyfriend huh? Well, he's cute." Naomi smiled at Cas. Cas returned the smile. Cas talked her into staying at the roadhouse for at least one night. She followed the boys. Cas called Charlie on the way and told her everything. It still sounded weird to say and he was still blown away that he actually has his mom back. The woman he hasn't seen in five years. Right now, sitting next to Dean and looking in the side mirror seeing his mom close behind, it was the happiest he's been since he was twelve years old.


	7. The Happier You Are, The Harder You Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guard your feels...that is all.
> 
> Songs in the chapter:
> 
> Breakdown by Seether  
> Hey Jude by The Beatles

_"Get off me!" He pushed Rob away but was quickly tackled to the bed. Rob got on top of him and pinned to him to the bed. Julie quickly tied something around his bicep. He struggled against Rob's grip. He felt the needle break through the skin, injecting the liquid within. He wrapped his legs around Rob, buckled an elbow, and flipped him over. Both of them falling to the floor. They got up and Cas started pushing them out of his room. Rob and Julie fell into the bathroom. He quickly closed and locked his door before stumbling down the stairs. He grabbed his helmet and got outside as fast as he could. He stopped next to his bike and shook the fogginess from his mind before swinging his leg over and starting it. He put his helmet on, put it in gear and hit the throttle. He needed a safe place to go. He thought about the distances of the roadhouse and Suicide Drop, he didn't know if he could make it that far, but he was sure as hell going to try. The rain made it hard to see and control the bike, but he had to keep going. The front of the bike wobbled then jerked to the side. Seconds later it tipped and crashed on it's side. Cas' head hit the road with a deafening thud and he blacked out._

 

"Cas!" He felt himself being shaken and sat up quickly. It took him a few seconds to realize that Dean was standing next to him. He fell back and put his arm over his face, covering his eyes. "I'm fine." He felt the bed sink as Dean sat down next to him. "Yeah, sounds like it. Your mom said you didn't get home til after three. Where were you?" Cas stayed silent, his mind was racing from the dream. But it wasn't just a dream, it really happened. "Out." He finally replied. "Out where?"

"Let it go Dean."

"Not until you tell me."

He moved his arm and looked at Dean. "What, are you my dad now?" He rolled to the other side of the bed and stood up. A few weeks after they were reunited, Cas' mom moved to Lawrence and got a two bedroom apartment. She let Cas decide whether or not he would move in with her, or stay will Ellen.  Dean moved in front of him. "What the hell is going on with you lately Cas? Ever since the game you've been...off." Cas looked at him. He didn't answer. He just moved around Dean to his dresser and grabbed a shirt and tugged it on. Then grabbed a pair of Tripp pants and put those on, then his shoes. He grabbed his bag and looked at Dean. "I'll wait in the car." He walked out, leaving Dean stunned.

Half way through fifth period, Dean's phone vibrated in his pocket. He unlocked it. It was a text from Charlie.

_'What's going on with Cas? He's acting like someone peed in his Cheerios...'_

Dean looked at the teacher, making sure she would catch him on his phone.

_'I have no idea, but I intend to find out.'_

His phone vibrated a few seconds later.

_'Well now's your chance he just went to the bathroom.'_

Dean looked up again. They may not have the same class, but they were in the same hall. There was one boys bathroom in each hall. He got up and grabbed the hall pass for the bathroom and walked out. He walked towards the bathroom, mind racing. He really didn't want to fight with Cas, but he needed to know what was going on with him. He pushed open the door to see Cas leaving a stall. "Cas." Cas jumped, something fell from his hand and hit the marble floor. Dean saw what it was before Cas picked it up. "Are you fucking kidding me right now?" He locked the door and walked over to Cas and pushed him against the stall. "Are you crazy or just plain stupid? I really want to know. What the hell are you doing drugs for?! In school!" Cas looked at him. "Keep it down Winchester or you'll get us suspended." He said calmly. 

"Does it look like I give a fuck right now Cas?" Cas didn't answer.

Dean grabbed the needle. "What was in this Cas? Meth? Cocaine? Heroin?"

Still Cas said nothing. He just looked Dean in the eyes.

"You have three seconds to tell me before I strip search you."

Cas cracked a smile.

"One..."

"Dean..."

"Two..."

"Wow, really?"

"Three."

"Okay! Jeez."

He went in his pocket and dug out three small bags, each a different drug. His head fell back to the wall and he looked away from Dean. "That doesn't answer my question." Cas didn't look at him. He moved his eyes to the floor. "How pissed would you be if I said it was a mix of all three?" Dean looked at him for a moment, at a lose of words. He tightened his grip on Cas' shirt. "Oh, I'll show you how pissed I am." He pulled Cas into the stall and held him against the wall, dropping the needle on the floor and stomping on it, breaking it into pieces. He kept his hold on Cas and picked up the pieces and threw them in the toilet. Then threw the little bags of drugs in their and flushed it with his foot. Dean pulled out his phone. "What are you doing?" Dean looked at him. 

"Calling your mom. You're going to rehab. Today. Go grab your shit. Don't make me hunt you down Novak."

Fifteen minutes later (after Dean told the office he was taking Cas home because he wasn't feeling well) Cas silently followed Dean to the Impala. He could tell Dean was pissed to the point were he didn't know whether to laugh or cry. So Cas just kept his mouth shut. He knew things had gotten out of control and needed help, so he didn't fight with Dean. Dean slid behind the wheel and closed the door. "Can you at least tell me why you're doing this to yourself?" Cas stared straight ahead. "If you were drugged three times a week for six years, do you think you could just quit cold turkey?" 

Dean looked at him. "So that's what's going on?"

"Some of it, yes."

"What's the rest."

"After I tell you, are we going to hold hands and sing campfire songs?"

"Cut the sarcasm Cas."

Cas didn't say anything. He just stared out the window.

"Dammit Cas, why won't you just tell me?!"

Cas looked at him then. "Why? What would it change Dean? What would telling you accomplish? And if you say 'it will help me feel better' so help me I will kick your ass." 

Dean started the car and tore out of the parking lot. Neither said another word.

 

Cas had no idea how long he would be gone, so he just packed a small bag that held a weeks worth of clothes. His mom said she'd drop off more if needed. The three of them rode in silence all the way to Kansas City. Cas could hear his mom sniffing back tears as she drove. He knew she thought some of this was her fault. None of it was. They pulled up to the entrance of the rehab facility. Two orderlies were already waiting for him. One a burly looking man, the other a small woman. "Great, their gonna good cop bad cop me." He grabbed his bag and opened the door. Dean and his mom got out as well. His mom wrapped him in a hug. "This isn't your fault mom." He said. She pulled away and smiled. "You just get better." He smiled and nodded. He looked at Dean who was leaning against the car. Dean took a few steps to him.

"Cas..."

"I know Dean. Tell Charlie for me?"

Dean nodded and hugged him. "Thank you." He whispered to him. Dean kissed his cheek.

"You're welcome."

 

**Day One**

 

After they evaluated him, they pretty much told him that detox for him was going to suck. A lot. Once he hit the withdraw stage it was probably going to suck even more, and quite possibly hurt. They took his phone and searched him and his bag to make sure he wasn't hiding anything and showed him to his room. He fell back on to the bed as and orderly named Gadreel unpacked his things. "Sounds like your in for a rough time." He said. Cas looked at the ceiling. "Yeah, and not the kind of rough I like either." Gadreel laughed.

"Can I at least have a radio or something?"

Gadreel looked at him.

"Singing helps calm me down."

"I'll see what I can do."

"I can't have visitors, can I?"

"Not until you're done with detox at least."

"Great."

 

Three hours later, Cas had counted the dots on the ceiling tiles...twice. The room was completely silent except for the sound of his breathing. He sighed and rolled over, burying his face in the pillow. "Kill me now..." The door opened and he looked to see Gadreel standing there. "Brought you a present." He held up a radio with a CD player. He set it on the table and plugged it in. He pulled out a bunch of CD's from under his shirt. "Your boyfriend gave me these before he left." He set them on the table next to the radio. Cas grabbed them and filtered through them. All mix CD's of the bands Cas listens to. He must have grabbed them when Cas wasn't looking. "Try to keep it down though. The walls aren't sound proof." Cas opened the CD player and put in a CD, turning the volume on medium. The room filled with the sound of Mayday Parade. He fell back on the bed. "You're an angel Gadreel."

 

The drugs he had taken at school that day wore off hours ago and he was starting to come down, which sucked by itself. Never mind the fact that he would go through withdrawals sometime in the next couple of days. He wished he could call Dean. He had never seen Dean so mad and he felt like a dick. He groaned and covered his face with the pillow. He would apologize the first chance he got. Dean wouldn't have gotten so pissed if he didn't care about Cas' well being. He removed the pillow and rolled over, staring at the radio.

 

**Day Two**

 

He only got a few hours of sleep before the guy next to him started yelling that he had no business being there Cas rolled his eyes and sat up. "For the love of God shut up! Nobody cares!" They guy started yelling back. Cas almost didn't understand him he was talking so fast. He got up, walked to the wall and hit it. "Listen Walter White, we're all addicts here. So grow up, put your big boy panties on, shut the fuck up and deal with it!" His door opened and Gadreel poked his head in. "Play nice Castiel." Cas looked at him.

"He started it. What time is it anyway?"

"5:30 AM."

He walked back over to the bed and laid down. "Wake me up when there's food."

 

About an hour later Cas woke up craving drugs. He sat up and ran his fingers through his messy hair. "So it begins." He sighed. He turned on the CD player and pressed play. Breakdown by Seether began to play. Cas laid back and sang along.

 

 **The sun is gone and the flowers rot**  
**Words are spaces between us**  
**And I should've been drown in the rivers I've found of token lost**  
**And I should've been down when you made me insecure**  
  
**So break me down if it makes you feel right**  
**And hate me now if it keeps you alright**  
**You can break me down if it takes all your might**  
**'cause I'm so much more than meets the eye**  
  
**And I'm the one you can never trust**  
**'cause wounds are ways to reveal us**  
**And yeah I could have tried and devoted my life to both of us**  
**But what a waste of my time when the world we have is yours**  
  
**So break me down if it makes you feel right**  
**And hate me now if it keeps you alright**  
**You can break me down if it takes all your might**  
**'cause I'm so much more than all your lies**  
  
**Hate me, break me down**  
**So break me down**  
**So break me down**  
**So break me down if it makes you feel right**  
**And hate me now if it keeps you alright**  
**You can break me down if it takes all your might**  
**'cause I'm so much more than meets the eye**

 

His door opened and Gadreel stepped in with a tray of food. Even though he didn't really feel like it, he ate anyways. It was a standard breakfast of oatmeal, toast, a fruit cup, and orange juice. Cas ate most of the oatmeal and the all of the fruit. He just finished his orange juice when the guy in the next room started yelling again. "Oh for fuck sake..." He threw the plastic cup against the wall. "Give it a rest Hisenburg!"  Gadreel opened the door.

"Castiel,"

"Cas."

"Cas, if you don't calm down, you'll have to be restrained."

"Then put a gag on blue sky over there."

"Just keep calm as much as you can."

"So, do you just sit outside my door 24/7 or do you just like me that much?"

Gadreel closed the door.

"Restrain this asshat." He grabbed his junk and shook it.

 

Cas was sitting on the floor drumming on his legs with the plastic utensils from lunch, trying to do anything to keep his mind off the itch and craving. Nothing was really helping, so he decided to lightly bang his head on the wooden foot board of the bed. chanting "Fuck my life" in time with his head hitting the wood. At least it relieved the boredom for a bit, until he got a headache. Two days and he was already going insane. He forgot he had music going. The mix that Dean gave him was playing. He hadn't listened to it all the way through, only the first couple songs. The current song ended followed by about ten seconds of silence. Then...

"Hey Cas,"

His eyes shot open and he turned to the CD player.

"I know you've been through a lot of shit, and you probably have nightmares about it..."

A pause.

"I read."

Cas smiled, meaning he read about PTSD.

"Whenever I couldn't sleep when I was a kid, my mom would sing this to me..."

Dean started playing his guitar. Cas almost couldn't believe it. Dean recorded himself and put it on the CD. What Dean sang blew Cas' mind.

 **Hey Jude, don't make it bad**  
**Take a sad song and make it better**  
**Remember to let her into your heart**  
**Then you can start to make it better**  
  
**Hey Jude, don't be afraid**  
**You were made to go out and get her**  
**The minute you let her under your skin**  
**Then you begin to make it better**  
  
**And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain**  
**Don't carry the world upon your shoulders**  
**For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool**  
**By making his world a little colder**  
**Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah**  
  
**Hey Jude, don't let me down**  
**You have found her, now go and get her**  
**Remember to let her into your heart**  
**Then you can start to make it better**  
  
**So let it out and let it in, hey Jude, begin**  
**You're waiting for someone to perform with**  
**And don't you know that it's just you, hey Jude, you'll do**  
**The movement you need is on your shoulder**  
**Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah yeah**  
  
**Hey Jude, don't make it bad**  
**Take a sad song and make it better**  
**Remember to let her under your skin**  
**Then you'll begin to make it**  
**Better better better better better better, oh**  
  
**Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude**  
**Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude**  
**Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude**  
**Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude**  
**Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude**  
**Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude**  
**Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude**

 

Halfway through, Cas got up and laid on the bed. He put his hands behind his head and sang along with the rest of the song, smiling.

 

**Day five**

 

His body was shaking like he was outside in twenty degree weather but he was burning up. He hasn't eaten a damn thing in forty-eight hours, but he drank as much water as he could. His entire body was screaming in pain. He never once yelled out in pain. He would just grit his teeth and bare it. He didn't even have the energy to yell anyway. Gadreel would check on him every hour. If there was a heaven or hell, he was pretty sure this was hell.  _'this is what happens when you quit cold turkey.'_ He thought. He would sleep through the fits of pain, only getting to sleep for about twenty minutes before the pain started up again.

 

**Day Eight**

 

"God, somebody just kill me..."

 

**Day Ten  
**

He was able to eat a little bit. He wasn't in as much pain. He still hurt, but it was bearable. He still didn't really have much energy and getting out of bed just to go to the bathroom was like an act of congress. The only way he could fall asleep was by listening to Dean sing "Hey Jude."

 

**Day Fourteen**

 

He opened his eyes and rolled over, throwing the blanket off as he sat up. The guy in the next room would still yell from time to time. The orderlies would polity remind him that "The kid next door went through his detox without yelling or complaining." Which shut him up pretty quick. Cas stood up and ran his hand back and forth through his hair. He grabbed a shirt and black ripped skinny jeans out of the dresser, and went into the bathroom to shower. After taking a quick shower and brushing his teeth, he got dressed and put on his converse. Gadreel walked in with the bag he came here with and handed it to him. "We're gonna miss you Cas." Cas took the back and smiled. "Yeah, hope to see you never." Gadreel rolled his eyes and left Cas to pack. Cas had missed out on Thanksgiving, and Christmas break had already started. Meaning, Dean would be at home in bed. Probably still sleeping. He put the CD's in the bag and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. He walked to the front desk. "Now can I have my phone Hannah?" He held out his hand. She smiled and handed him his phone and his cigarettes and lighter. "Is that legal for you to give these back to me?" He dangled the cigarettes.

"I won't tell if you don't." Hannah smiled.

 

His first order of business was to wake Charlie up by jumping on her. She jumped and almost screamed. "Relax slut, it's just me." Her eyes got wide and hugged him tight. "Holy freakshow! You're home!" She said when she pulled away. "Have you seen Dean yet?" She sat up and sat Indian style on the bed. Cas shook his head. "He's probably still sleeping."

"I was sleeping. That didn't seem to stop you. Go see your man! He's been pathetic with worry."

 

Cas cut the engine to his bike and walked it up the driveway next to the Impala. He walked up to the door and knocked. Mary answered. "Cas! Good to see you! Dean's still asleep but I'm sure you can wake him and he wouldn't mind." She smiled and let him in. He returned the smile and she gave him a hug which kind of surprised him. "You look good." Cas smiled again. He thanked her and headed upstairs to Dean's room. He slowly opened the door. Dean was sprawled out across the bed, laying on his back and snoring. Cas smiled. He walked over to the bed took a deep breath and yelled "Good morning Vietnam!" And shook the bed. Dean jumped up. "What the fuck!"

"Well, if you insist Winchester."

Dean turned around, eyes locking on to Cas. "Cas? Holy shit!" His smile lit up the room. He pretty much tackled Cas to the floor.

"Jeez it's like you missed me or something."

"When did they let you leave?"

"The day I got there."

Dean gave him a look.

"Kidding Dean, calm down. I got into town about thirty minutes ago."

Dean rolled his eyes and kissed Cas slowly. Cas put one hand and Dean's back and the other on the back of his head, deepening the kiss. "I did miss you." Dean whispered when he pulled back.

"Everything okay in here? I heard a noise and-"

Cas tilted his head back to look at Mary. "Hi Mrs Winchester."

"This isn't what it looks like mom."

Cas snorting. "It was almost what it looks like."

"Cas!"

"What? She already knows we've had sex before..."

Dean leaned back and put his face in his hand.

"I'll be in the living room. Don't wake Sam and use a condom."

"Will do Mrs Winchester."

She closed the door.

"Oh my God. Kill me."

Cas smiled and sat up. He pulled Dean closer. "I missed you too."

Dean smiled. "You're an ass."

"Said the bottom."

Dean pushed Cas back and pinned him to the floor, his lips grazing against Cas'. "Not today." He smiled.

Cas grinned. "Bring it Winchester."

 

Dean grabbed Cas' hands and pinned them over his head. Cas' shirt raised, revealing from his hips to his bellybutton. Dean moved down and kissed Cas' hip. He pulled Cas' jacket off his shoulders and moved to Cas' neck. Brushing his lips up to his jaw as Cas took off his jacket. Dean put his hand on Cas' back and lifted him, pulling off his shirt. Cas unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans and kicked off his shoes. Dean tugged the jeans off, leaving him in his boxers. Dean, however, was already dressed for the occasion. Wearing nothing but boxers. He ran his hands up Cas' body, his head following. Pressing and grinding on Cas' erection. Cas' head fell back in a soft moan. Fourteen days. That was the last time they touched each other. Now, it seemed with Cas' newfound sobriety, his senses were heightened. He then realized that he had some kind of drug in his system every time they had sex. Hell every time he had sex at all, even before Dean.

Dean's hands and mouth were everywhere. He felt Dean grind down again, he dug his fingernails into the carpet and fell back to the floor. Dean's lips were on his, Cas allowed him access. Dean wasted no time, his tongue gliding across Cas'. Dean's hand made it's way down to Cas' boxers, snapping the elastic waistband on Cas' hip before pulling them off. Cas tucked his thumbs in the waistband of Dean's boxers and pulled them down, Dean pulled them off the rest of the way. Dean straightened and opened his nightstand drawer and grabbed a condom and a small bottle of lube. He tore open the wrapper and rolled the condom on and added a few drops of lube. He worked the lube around. He rubbed the excess on Cas' hole. Dean moved up, holding himself up with one hand and kissed Cas as he slowly pushed one finger inside. Cas moaned into Dean's mouth. Dean worked his finger for a minute then added a second. Dean broke the kiss, moving to Cas' neck. Twisting and scissoring as Cas desperately fought the urge to fuck himself and Dean's fingers. "Dean..." He breathed. Dean smiled. "Not yet." His voice low and rough. Jesus. Why did he have to say it like that? Dean added a third finger and Cas arched his back, closing his eyes and biting his lip. The last time Dean had Cas like this, they were in Kansas City. Something about Cas' reaction to this was completely different. Maybe it was the fact that Cas was completely sober, giving him a totally different experience. If that was the case, he would make it an experience Cas won't soon forget.

He slowly removed his fingers and touched the tip of his dick to Cas' hole. He slowly pushed the tip inside and pulled out seconds later. He repeated this action a few times, watching as Cas dug his nails into the carpet and muscles tense then relax.  "Dean..." Cas opened his eyes and looked at him. They only light in the room was coming from under the door. Dean could see every inch of Cas, how the light played off his smooth skin. He ran his fingers slowly up Cas' chest then down his arm, pushing himself slowly inside Cas until he was all the way in. He grabbed Cas' hand and pinned them above his head. Dean rolled his hips, searching for the cluster of nerves so he could send Cas to the moon. Cas snapped his head back in a moan and gripped Dean's hands. _'There it is.'_   He smiled and hit it again. "Fuck!" Cas breathed. Dean let go and put his arms around Cas and lifted him, moving Cas so they were both upright. he grabbed Cas' hips and moved him in rhythm with his hips. 

Cas let his head fall forward on to Dean's shoulder. Cas had no idea where this new position came from, but fuck was it amazing! Every second of this was amazing, and Dean wasn't even being rough. He wasn't exactly being gentle either, but fuck if he didn't find one hell of a medium, hitting his prostate  _every single time_. The room filled with their heavy breathing. Cas felt that familiar heat coil and tried his best to push it down. He didn't want it to end. Not yet. He opened his eyes and looked down, watching Dean's dick disappear inside him and the heat pooled once more. He squeezed his eyes shut. "God Dean...gonna come." His voice a breathy whisper. He felt Dean hand wrap around his dick. "Yeah baby...come for me." A few strokes later and Cas lost it. His body shook as he came on both of them. He opened his eyes, his vision blurred and he got light headed. Seconds later, Dean was coming. He was still stroking Cas through his orgasm.

They stayed in that position until Dean patted Cas' leg, signaling for him to move. Cas slowly got up and collapsed on the floor, watching as Dean took off the condom and threw it in the small trash can by his desk. Dean got up and grabbed a towel and wiped Cas' mess of the both of them. "Shield your eyes." Dean said. Cas put his arm over his eyes seconds before Dean turned the light on. Both of them were still catching their breath. Cas heard Dean open a dresser drawer. Cas moved his arm and sat up, sluggishly grabbing his boxers and falling back to the floor so he could put them on. Dean laughed. "That good?" Cas looked at him, watching him pull a shirt over his head. "I'm pretty sure I just died and went to heaven." Cas replied as he pulled his jeans on. Dean smiled and shook his head as he finished dressing. 

Cas got up and sat on the bed. His phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and looked at it. It wasn't a number he recognized, but he was expecting a call from a therapist since he now had to go to mandatory therapy sessions twice a week. He answered. 

"Hello?"

"Castiel?" Came a male voice.

"Speaking."

"Damn it's good to hear your voice son."

"Who the hell is this?"

"Your dad." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo....thoughts?


	8. Have Your Self A Merry Little Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Christmas present to all of you! Merry Christmas! Hope you enjoy!

"Yeah sorry, not interested" He hung up the phone. "Who was that?" Dean asked. He sat next to Cas. Cas put his phone on silent and put it in his pocket. "Just a stupid salesman." He lied. He didn't want to tell Dean and get him involved. 

Dean looked at him. "What?" Cas grabbed his shirt off the floor. "Nothing. You just acted weird for a second." Cas tugged his shirt over his head. "I did? Well, I was wondering how they even got my number." He pushed his arm through the sleeves. "I should get going. Mom wants to do something to celebrate my new found sobriety. She also invited you to dinner tonight as part of the celebration." He smiled at him. "Yeah, sounds fun." 

"I'll let her know. I'll text you when and where. See you later?"

"Definitely."

"Good." He gave Dean a quick kiss and got up. "See you later." He said closing the door behind him. He made his way downstairs. "Leaving already?" He jumped. "Jesus Mrs Winchester, I forgot you were down here. Yeah, my mom wants to celebrate me getting out of rehab." 

"Alright. Come back anytime Cas."

"Will do. See ya Mrs Winchester." 

He closed the front door and sighed. He pulled out his phone to see a text message. He opened it and read:

 _"meet me at the park in the gazebo in an hour."_  

Great.

****

An hour later he got off his bike and put it on the kickstand. This was a bad idea. Maybe he should have told Dean, at least he'd have backup. He took off his helmet and put his hood up. Someone was already standing in the gazebo. 

The snow started to fall. Dusting the ground in white as he walked up to the gazebo. "Mark I assume." The man turned around. "Castiel?" He took a few steps forward. Cas put his hand up. "That's far enough, and it's Cas." 

"You can call me dad."

Cas snorted. "Why? It's not like you acted like one. How did you find me?"

"By finding your mom. Followed her for a few days. Then I saw her pick you up in Kansas City. Why were you in rehab?"

"Oh you know, seemed like fun." 

"Got a mouth on you don't ya?"

"You have no idea. The more intelligent you are, the more sarcastic you are. And since I'm a genius...I'll let you fill in the blanks."

"Genius huh? Before your mom got with me, she was top in her class. I was just a stoner."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?"

They stood there for a minute in silence. "Listen Cas, I miss your mom and I want to be a family." Cas put his hands in his pockets. "Sounds like a personal problem to me. We don't want anything to do with you." Mark took a few steps forward, Cas took a few back. "Just hear me out." 

"How about no?" He turned to leave. He felt a hand on his shoulder and was spun around. "Please! Just listen!" Cas pushed him away. "Don't touch me!" He turned around. Walking away he heard something click. He stopped and turned around. "Oh good. A gun. Ya know, I was missing the good old days of almost dying." 

"Just please, take me to Naomi. We can work this out. We can be a family!" Cas narrowed his eyes. "No. Shooting me won't win you any brownie points either." He took his hands out of his pockets. "I got clean! For you two!"

"Yeah? When? Last night?"

Okay, maybe not a good time for sarcasm. "Don't push me boy!" Mark took a step forward. In probably the dumbest act he's ever done, Cas reached for the gun. Grabbing Mark's wrist, twisting it and pulling his arm down. 

"Cas!"

The gun went off and fell to the ground. Mark ran off into the trees and Cas dropped to his knees. He put his hand on his torso and looked at it. Blood. Suddenly, Dean was on his knees in front of him. "Cas, oh my god."

Cas pushed his hand down on the wound, squeezing his eyes shut and grunting in pain. "It didn't hit any vitals. It did go all the way through though." Dean moved so he could see his back. "I see it. What do I do?" 

"Put pressure on it to stop the bleeding."

Dean took off his jacket and pressed it against his back. Cas yelled out. "Now what?" 

"Well did you call an ambulance?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Okay. Uh," His brain went fuzzy. "Uh, keep me calm."

"What?"

"To keep me from going into shock."

"How do I do that?"

"By not freaking out for one. Just talk to me or something. Tell me a story, sing, just do something." 

"Uh, right, okay." He pulled Cas on his lap carefully. With his free hand, he petted Cas' hair then hummed 'Hey Jude'. Cas closed his eyes and smiled. 

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"This probably isn't the time for this but...I love you."

He felt Dean kiss the top of his head. "I love you too." Then continued humming. 

***

"Can't go one month without a hospital visit can you?" Charlie teased, swinging her legs back and forth as she sat on the bed. "Guess not. Look. Do not say a word to my mom. She thinks I've been at Dean's this whole time." Charlie shook her head. "Fine. But you owe me."

"When don't I?" He buttoned up his shirt. "Good point. How did Dean find you anyway?" 

"He knew something was off about me and followed me to the park." 

"That boy can read you like a book. Thank goodness too."

"Yeah well, if he didn't yell, I wouldn't have gotten shot."

"Come on, he was scared."

"I know. I'm not blaming him. I was scared too." He dug his teeth into the plastic wristband and pulled. "Besides, I knew my sarcasm would get me shot sooner or later." He threw the wristband in the trash. Charlie rolled her eyes and hopped off the bed. "But seriously, why can't I just have some fucking peace and quiet for a change. Six years of shit followed by rehab and getting shot the day I get out."

"Don't forget wrecking your bike. That was fun."

"Oh yeah, so much fun." They smiled at each other. "Come on, I'll take you to Dean's" 

"Actually, could you just take me home? I feel like I could sleep for a week." 

"You sure? What about Dean and your mom?"

"I'm sure Dean will understand and my mom is out of town anyway." 

***

Cas was sitting on the couch in batman pj bottoms watching Christmas movies. The doorbell rang. His new puppy started barking. His mom got her as a present for getting sober. He snapped his fingers and she stopped. "Stay." He commanded. He got up and went to the door. He was met by green eyes. "Hey." Dean smiled. 

"Hey. What are you doing here?" Cas asked, moving aside to let Dean in. "I know it's Christmas eve but I couldn't wait." Dean dusted the snow off himself and took off his shoes. "So you drove in the Impala through the snow just to give me a present?" Dean smiled and pulled the present from behind his back. "Yup." He looked at Cas' naked torso. "Looks like it healed nicely."

"Yeah. I haven't told my mom yet. I just don't want her freaking out. The cops did catch him and charge him with assult with a deadly weapon. With his record, he'll be in prison for a long time." They moved to the couch.

"Whoa, you have a dog." The German Shepherd puppy lifted her head and sniffed in Dean's direction. "Yeah. She won't bite. She's probably gotten your sent off me by now. That's why she's sniffing. To see if she knows you. Her name is Mystic by the way." Mystic laid her head back down on the couch. 

"See? If she didn't recognize your sent, she would have growled at you." He sat down and pet the dogs head. Dean slowly sat down, keeping his eyes on the dog. Cas chuckled. "It's okay Dean. She won't mess with you. Well, she'll probably luck you to death but that's it."

"I don't like dogs, but I guess I'll have to deal." 

"Very brave of you."

"Shut up. Are you going to open your gift or not?"

Cas smiled. He unwrapped his present and opened the box. Inside, was a cd and a shirt. "Marianas Trench shirt and their new album. Nice!" 

"Charlie told me they're a big influence on your music, so I figured I'd get that for you. There's one more thing in there." Cas dug through the tissue wrapping and pulled out an envelope. He opened it and looked inside. "Concert tickets?"

"And backstage passes. I won a contest while you were in rehab. It was for a chance to play on stage with Marianas Trench." Cas looked at him. "Are you serious?" Dean smiled. "Holy shit! This is amazing!" He practically jumped on Dean and kissed him. "How did you win?" He asked when he pulled away. "I had to finish a part of one of their songs. They announced the contest a few weeks in advance so I memorized all of their songs." 

"Impressive. What song did they use?"

"Pop 101."

"I love that song."

Dean smiled again. "You love all their songs." 

Cas kissed him again and got up. "I guess I might as well give you your present." He walked over to the tree and grabbed a small box with a bow on it. He jumped over the couch and sat down, handing the gift to Dean. 

Dean opened it. It was a guitar pick on a chain. "That's my favorite one." Cas told him. It was black with red letters that said Marianas Trench on it. "I actually planned to give you that weeks ago."

Dean looked at him. "I love it."

Cas' phone buzzed on the table. "It's Charlie." He picked it up and answered.

"Hey cock block."

"Woops. Didn't mean to do that, but you two will have plenty of time for that because there is now a foot of snow outside." 

Cas got up and looked out the window. "Huh." He looked at Dean. "Better call your mom. Looks like your stuck here til this clears up." 

"By the way. I just seen something on YouTube called the boyfriend tag and I think you and Dean should do it."

"What's the boyfriend tag?"

"You take turns answering questions about each other." Dean replied. Cas looked at him. "What? Charlie told me about it the other day."

"Just discovered it huh Charlie?"

"Woops. Gotta go!"

She hung up.

"How did I just get dragged into this?" 

"It can't be that bad Cas."

He sighed and dropped his head. "Fine. But I'm not putting on a shirt." Dean laughed. "Not even if it's your new Marianas Trench shirt?" He held it up. "It's begging you to wear it."

"I can make my dog bite you ya know." Dean set the shirt down. "Good Dean." Cas walked into his room and grabbed his laptop, bringing it to the living room and moved the coffee table. He set the laptop on the table, turning on the Web cam. He pressed record and sat on the floor. Dean sat next to him. 

"I guess we should introduce ourselves. I'm Cas."

"I'm Dean"

"And apparently we're doing a boyfriend tag. I'm doing this under duress just so everyone knows." Dean rolled his eyes. "And as soon as this fucking snow goes away, I'm going to kill my best friend and claim temporary insanity." Dean looked at the camera and shook his head. "No he won't. He loves her too much." Cas rolled his eyes. "Okay, first question. How did we meet?"

"I stalked you for months and we had sex on a cliff." Dean looked at him. Cas returned the look. "What? It's true." Dean shook his head. "In between that, I got transferred to his advanced drama class. That's how we actually met."

"But before that I stalked you and after that we had sex on a cliff. So technically I wasn't lying."

"You did not stalk me. You had a crush on me."

"Same thing. Next question."

Dean scrolled down. "What is my dream car?" Cas looked at him. "You own your dream car. A 67 Chevy Impala. What's mine?"

"Your motorcycle."

Cas looked at the camera. "We own our dream vehicles at the age of seventeen. What are you people doing with your lives? Watching two gay kids answer questions about each other. Get it together."

"Behave Novak."

"Please. Not in my nature. Next question."

"What personality trait do you like the most?"

"You're unwavering loyalty. And your sense of humor."

Dean smiled. "I'd have to say the same." He handed Cas his phone. "You ask some." Cas took the phone and scrolled for a second. "Okay, if you could take me on a road trip, where would we go?"

"I'd take you to all the Marianas Trench concerts."

"I'd take you to all the colleges you want to play for so you find the right one."

"Aw, you softy."

"Yeah yeah, you'll eat those words Winchester." He looked for another question. "Name three shows I like to watch."

"Big Bang Theory, The Originals, and Supernatural." Cas looked at the camera then to Dean. "Ya know, people tell me I look like the angel on Supernatural."

"You kinda do. People tell me I look like the oldest brother. By the way, who names an angel Misha?"

"Who names a human Castiel?"

Dean looked at him. "Your mom didn't name you?"

"No. My religious freak grandma did. Castiel is the name of an angel. Apparently the hag didn't to her research because Castiel fell in love with humanity and rebelled against heaven. And his name literally means to fall from God."

"Well then. Awkward. Ask another question."

"What's one thing you don't like about me?"

"Well, sometimes your sarcasm gets on my nerves but other than that, nothing." 

"I can't really think of anything. I like everything about you."

"Aw..."

"Yeah yeah, big softy. Moving on. What did you notice first?"

"Your crazy blue eyes."

"Your ass."

"Really Cas?"

"What? You were bent over. The second thing I noticed was your eyes."

Dean rolled his eyes and took the phone. "Okay, last question. Where do you see yourself in five years?"

Cas looked at the camera. "With my band touring and," He looked at Dean. "With you." Dean smiled and moved closer, kissing Cas. Cas returned the kiss and they pulled back. Dean looked at the camera. "Uh, I see myself playing pro football with this moron cheering me on in the stands." 

Cas looked at the camera. "Okay, that's it! That's our video! Merry Christmas everyone!"


	9. End The Year With A Bang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so my friend and I wrote the rest of the story so enjoy!
> 
> NOTE: The songs in this chapter are by Marianas Trench but are written as Join The Hunt because most of the songs from Marianas Trench fit Cas perfectly.
> 
> Songs in the chapter:
> 
> Shake Tramp by Marianas Trench (mentioned)
> 
> Push by Marianas Trench (mentioned)
> 
> B Team by Marianas Trench 
> 
> Ever After by Marianas Trench (written as JTH)
> 
> Desperate Measures by Marianas Trench (written as JTH)
> 
> Stutter by Marianas Trench (written as JTH)
> 
> Cross My Heart by Marianas Trench (written as JTH)
> 
> Lover Dearest by Marianas Trench (written as JTH)
> 
> This Means War by Marianas Trench (written as JTH)

Morning light filtered through the window of Cas' room. It was a lot brighter than normal due to the snow. He felt Dean's arm around him and smiled. He rolled over so he was facing Dean. Dean opened his eyes and smiled. "Mornin" He rolled on his back and stretched. Cas gave him a quick kiss and put his head on Dean's chest. "Good morning." Dean smiled at Cas. “It's always a good morning when I wake up to you.” Cas rolled his eyes. “You're such a kiss ass.”

"You'd probably like that.” “No doubt, but food first. What's for breakfast?”

Cas sat up. "Hmm. How about some french toast?" Dean ran his fingers up and down Cas' back. "Sounds good." He sat up. He brushed his lips over Cas' shoulder blade and kissed the back of his neck. "For someone who claims to love my eyes, you sure are obsessed with my back." Dean smiled against his skin. "I Love all of you. "Cas turned around and push Dean down, getting half way on top of him. He kissed his lips. "Just wait til you've had my french toast."

Cas climbed off of Dean and pulled on a pair of boxers. Dean layed there for a few seconds, watching Cas.

“You gonna get pants on or what?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean sighed. “Just enjoying the view for a moment.” Cas threw Dean's boxers onto the bed.

“Well, put these on while you're admiring this. I don't think the neighbors will appreciate you like I do.”

"Good point." Dean slipped his boxers on. Cas rubbed his head and walked to the kitchen. He turned the Bluetooth on his phone and connected it to the radio in the kitchen. He scrolled through the music on his phone and played Marianas Trench Shake Tramp. He danced around and sang along as he got the things he would need to make french toast.

“...slap you like a bitch and take it like a whore…”

“Hey, I'm no whore…”

Cas whipped around and laughed. “No, whores get paid. You do this for free.” Cas put a couple of pieces of French toast on a plate and handed it to Dean, then put some on his own plate for himself. The two sat down at the table and ate.

“This is really good,” Dean said through a mouthful of toast. “Ummm yeah. Because I'm awesome. So, what's the plan then? I don't think we're going anywhere today…”

"Well, I guess we don't have any other option but to just stay in." Dean took another bite. "But if you keep cooking like this I'll never want to leave." Cas smiled at him. "I'm not that good. I pretty much had to learn to cook or survive on ramen noodles." Push by Marianas Trench played through the speakers as Cas cleared the table and washed the dishes. He grabbed the sprayer and sprayed Dean, laughing at the look on Dean's face. "Oh it's like that?" He grabbed Cas around the waist and picked him up. Cas laughed and struggled against him a bit. Dean walked to the bathroom and turned the shower on and put Cas under the water. "Oh I don't think so." Cas pulled Dean in with him. Dean slipped a little as Cas dragged him under the water. He braced himself on the wall, locking eyes with Cas.

“Well, you got food…” Cas teased with a smirk. Dean straightened himself to his full height and claimed Cas’ mouth as he pushed Cas against the wall of the shower. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean, moving his hands from Dean's back to his hips, sneaking them under the soggy waistband of Dean's boxers. Dean opened his eyes and smiled. "It's like that?" "Had to get you wet somehow." Cas smiled, pushing Dean's boxers down. The fell to the tub floor with a wet thud. Dean stepped out of them and kicked them aside, running his hands down Cas' wet torso. He hooked his thumbs in Cas' boxers and pulled them down as he kissed Cas' neck. Cas' head fell back to the wall as he kicked his boxers to the side. "At least my mom isn't here to intrude." He smiled.

“No, she isn't. Just us.” Dean nipped at the area between Cas’ neck and shoulder. A small moan slipped through Cas ’ lips. “No reason for either of us to hold back.” Dean rolled his hips against Cas’ as he finished his sentence, moving his hands down to the other man's ass and giving a squeeze. Cas felt his knees buckle and his eyes close.

"Well if that's the case..." He grabbed Dean and spun him around, grabbing his hip with one hand and pushed him down with the other, bending Dean over. Dean put his hands on the tub. Cas put his tip on Dean's hole, working it over before slowly pushing himself inside. Dean pushed himself back. Cas closed his eyes and moaned, head falling back. He grabbed Dean's hips and rolled his own, moving Dean in rhythm. It didn't take him long to hit the soft cluster of nerves. He pushed into it, causing Dean to moan loudly. "Fuck Cas!" He moaned. "Well, if you insist." Cas smiled. He pulled out halfway and pushed in hard, hitting Dean's prostate. He heard Dean's nails scratch the tub as he moaned even louder.Cas smiled to himself. He drove hard and fast, obliterating Dean with every hit on that bundle of nerves deep inside. Dean felt himself coming undone; his head was spinning and a painful pleasure was overcoming his body. Dean braced himself and pushed back hard, almost knocking Cas over. Dean couldn't talk, he was too far gone, so the only way to get Cas to do what he needed was to show him.

"Well, you asked for it." Cas grasped Dean's hips harder and drilled into him, sending waves of pleasure through both of them. "So good..." Cas breathed, snapping his hips forward again. "Come for me Dean." He whispered, taking Dean into his hand and stroked him slowly. "Cas..."He barely got his name out before he was coming, seeing stars and cried out. "Yeah...that's it."Cas bit his lip, still stroking Dean. "Damn Dean, I'm gonna come just listening to you." "God yes. Come inside me Cas." Cas' head fell back in a moan. He thrust inside Dean a few more times. Moaning loudly and digging his blunt nails into Dean's hips as he came.Dean blinked his eyes, trying to get them back into focus. His breathing was ragged and wrecked. Cas was folded over his back, still inside of Dean.

"Cas...."

"Yeah, I got ya." Cas slowly stood up and pulled himself out of Dean, exhaling slowly as he did.

Dean stayed bent over, trying to calm his breath. He finally straightened as Cas turned the shower off. "Well, nothing like Christmas shower sex to get the day going." Dean laughed. "Good food, good sex, how can you beat that?" Cas stepped out, grabbed a towel, and began drying himself. "By more good food and good sex." He smiled. "Yeah, I'm gonna need to recover from this round first." Cas' smile grew. "Shut up."

Cas smiled. "Merry Christmas"

***

The concert was tomorrow and Cas was more than excited about it. He had been walking around the house with ear buds in singing along with every Marianas Trench song. He would play a few on his guitar in his room. He was pretty sure his mom couldn't wait for it either so Cas would shut up about it. When he told Charlie, she screamed her head off. The band was excited as well. Cas also focused his energy into writing a few new songs, hoping he'd get to play one on stage. He was more excited about playing on stage with his idol. Like Cas, Josh Ramsay, the lead singer, wrote all of the songs himself. Cas couldn't think of a single song he didn't like.Dean sat on the end of Cas' bed, listening to him play. "Did you pick one out yet?"Cas sighed. "No. I finished all of them down to how it should sound. Sent samples to the band so they can learn them and wrote sheet music for a freaking orchestra for one of them." He clicked his mouse a few times, putting the latest one together to send it. "I can't pick one. I don't even know if we'll be able too anyways. And asking to would just be rude. Like 'hi I'm a huge fan! Mind if I take the spotlight from you for a few minutes?' Nobody is there to see my band play anyway." He finished the song and sent it to each band member.Dean gave Cas a small kiss on the cheek. "Well, you never know. They might be cool with it. It doesn't hurt to be prepared, for sure."

"Yeah, I guess. I'm so fucking nervous!"He scrolled through all the songs. "I pretty much just made an entire album in three days. Who does that?" He stopped at one and just stared at the title. "Huh. I just decided which one I'll play. If we get to that is." "Really? What one?" "It's a surprise. You'll see tomorrow." He shut his computer off and spun the chair around. "Even if I don't get to play my song, I'll still get to be on stage with Josh fucking Ramsey. I've never been on stage with this many people watching." "You'll do awesome. The stage is where you belong." Dean got up and kissed him.Cas blushed. "Well, the stage and your arms."

"Aww see? He does have feelings way deep down in that emo soul.”

"Well, now we're even. We both have a sappy side and a sense of humor."

Cas smiled. "Yeah yeah." He gave him a quick kiss. "Have I thanked you for all this yet?" "Yes. Vigorously. A few times."

***

"Cas! Come on! This is the one thing you can't show up fashionably late for!" Charlie yelled. She looked at Dean. "I swear he'd be later to his own funeral." Dean laughed. Cas Walked out of the bathroom. "Jeez. Can't even get ready in peace." He said closing the door behind him. Charlie looked at him and whistled. "Damn Cas. Who are you trying to impress?" Cas was wearing a blue button down with his black leather jacket and a skinny white tie with ripped and worn black skinny jeans. His hair was gelled and had a messy look to it. "This could possibly be the biggest night ever for me. Damn right I'm gonna do it in style."

They piled in the Impala and headed toward the venue. Dean looked over and saw Cas nervously tapping his leg. Dean put his hand on Cas' knee. "Babe?"

"Yeah?"

"It's gonna be great."

Cas exhaled. "I hope so."

The ride was almost silent, save for a few words of encouragement from Dean. As they pulled into the back lot of the venue, Cas turned pale.

"Dean, I don't know. I'm freaking out. This is..."

"Gonna be amazing, that's what. And hey, your band is here." Dean gestured to the left, where the rest of Join The Hunt was waiting.

Cas had one hand on the door handle. He took a deep breath. "Well, here it goes."

He pushed open the door and everyone went inside. The place was a mad house. The stage crew was everywhere trying to get everything set up. "You the contest winner?" A man said. Cas just nodded. The man gestured behind him. "Band's in the dressing room." He walked off. Charlie squealed causing Cas to jump. "This is so cool! I have to record this for the YouTube channel!" Cas led the way to the dressing room. He froze with his hand on the knob. "Oh for Christ sake Cas." Charlie opened the door. Cas looked at her, wide eyed. "Hey, looks like the contest winner is here." Cas turned to see someone walking over to them. "Holy shit." He said. "Josh, nice to meet you." He extended his hand. Cas just stood there. Charlie elbowed him in the ribs. "Cas." He replied a little too loudly, shaking the man's hand. Josh laughed. "Relax Cas, I won't bite. Not hard anyways." He winked. Cas smiled. "See? Better already.Come on in, I'll introduce you to the rest of the band." He patted Cas on the shoulder.Cas looked at Dean and Charlie as Josh led him to meet everyone, mouthing "holy shit." Dean smiled and blew Cas a quick kiss and Charlie gave a thumbs up.

"Well, Charlie. Let's go find our seats and let my man have his time."

"Sounds good!"

As they left, Dean looked back at Cas. He was warming up to everyone. He'd be fine."Guys, this is Cas. He's the Contest winner. That's Matt the lead guitar, Mike plays bass, and that's Ian the drummer." Cas shook their hands. "This is the most awesome thing I have ever experienced." He smiled. "So Cas, you play?" Josh asked, taking a drink of Coke Zero. "Yeah, I'm lead vocals and guitar in my band." Josh nodded. "Nice!" "You guys are a huge influence for me." "Awesome. Maybe we can hear some of your music on stage." "Holy shit, seriously?" "Yeah man. Your band here?" "Yeah." "Cool. You won't throw up on stage will you?" "Fuck no. I rock it every time." Josh laughed. "I like this kid. He's got sass."Josh turned to Cas. "Hey, have your band come on back. I'll let security know that it's cool. We'll get them badges."

"Yeah, okay! Let me call them!"Cas pulled out his phone and called Adam. "Hey, so you guys are about to get passes to come back here and meet the band." A few minutes later, the band walked into the room. "Dude. This is epic!" Adam said. "Very." Cas smiled. Cas turned to Josh. "Hey, uh, I hate to be an ass and push my luck, but is it cool if my boyfriend and my best friend come back too? This is the highlight of my life right now and I would love to share it with them." "Yeah, no problem." As both bands got to know each other, Dean and Charlie walked in. Charlie naturally had her camera out recording. Cas walked over and kissed Dean. "This is so fucking amazing!" "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself babe." A lady with a headset on poked her head in the door. "Josh, five minutes til show time." "Alright, thanks Maggie." She closed the door. "Alright guys, let's do this shit."

"Okay, so they'll come get you guys when it's time. It's gonna be amazing!"Josh and the band started to head out. Suddenly, Josh turned to Dean. "They have a special place for you and Charlie to watch so you can see him onstage, because I'm sure you don't want to miss it. This is magic!"

They all took their seats as the band took the stage. Josh was amazing. Getting the crowd into each song and even just talking to the crowd between songs. The group sang along to every song. The same lady as before tapped Cas on the shoulder and motioned for him to follow. He looked back at Dean. "Wish me luck." "You don't need it. You'll kill it, I know you will." Cas kissed him. "Love you." "Love you too. Now go do your thing!" Cas was standing justoff stage, guitar case in hand. He closed his eyes, calming himself. "Okay, so we had a little contest a while back. So let's bring out the winner. Everyone say hi to Cas Novak from Lawrence." Cas opened his eyes and walked out on stage. Josh grabbed another mic stand and mic and set it in front of Cas. "So, what song do you guys want Cas to play with us?" By unanimous vote, the crowd chose B Team. "Cool with that Cas?" "Hell yeah! Let's do this!" Cas took out his guitar and strapped it on. The song started. Cas looked out at the crowd. There had to be upwards of three thousand people. A lot of them were holding their phones up, recording. Josh started singing.

 

**You could want this**

**See if it fits for a bit**

**And if you don't like it**

**Then you can go like you have been**

**And I'll never tell, never tell how I fell for it**

**I never fell before**

Cas started playing. The crowd started cheering.

**3, 2, 1, you get right up and I'm the one done**

**You never say yes, not quite no**

**Say just enough to make me not go**

**You choose your words,**

**Careful voice, in the end I'm not the first choice**

**You say you want someone just like me**

**So then why am I your plan,**

**Why am I your plan,**

**Why am I your plan B?**

Josh looked over at Cas, motioning him to sing along. They both sang the chorus.

**You know, you know you love the way**

**I linger and,**

**You keep me wrapped right round your finger,**

**But you say, you say, just wait a little longer, and**

**And in time, I could be the right one**

**Please, I'm the B Team**

"Take it Cas!" Josh said. Cas sang:

**This could hurt some,**

**But if we don't never know what it's worth to ya**

**I saw you first,**

**Do ya remember?**

**You played it well, victim sell,**

**How I fell for it, I never fell before**

He played while singing.

**3, 2, 1, you get right up and I'm the one done**

**You never say yes, not quite no**

**Say just enough to make me not go**

**You choose your words,**

**Careful voice, in the end I'm not the first choice**

**You say you want someone just like me So then why am I your plan,**

**Why am I your plan,**

**Why am I your plan B?**

They both sang.

**You know you know you love the way I linger and,**

**You keep me wrapped right round your finger,**

**But you say, you say, just wait a little longer, and**

**And in time I could be the right one**

**Please, I'm the B team**

All of them started clapping on beat, getting the crowd to do the same.

**You like to make me beg, yes you like it**

**You like to make me beg, you do**

**You like to make me beg, yes you like it**

**You like to make me be you do (You just like it)**

**You like to make me beg, yes you like it**

**You like to make me beg, you do (You just like it)**

**You like to make me beg, yes you like it**

**You like to make me beg, you do (YOU JUST LIKE IT)**

**You like to make me beg, yes you like it**

**You like to make me beg, you do (YOU JUST LIKE OH)**

**You like to make me beg, yes you like it**

**You like to make me beg, you do**

**SAY JUST ENOUGH TO MAKE ME NOT GO OH**

They paused for a second. Josh looked at Cas.

**"1, 2, 3, 4!"**

**You know you know**

**You love the way I linger and,**

**You keep my wrapped right round your finger**

**But you say, you say, just wait a little longer, and**

**And in time I could be the right one**

**You know you, you love the way I linger and,**

**You keep my wrapped right round your finger But you say, you say, just wait a little longer, and**

**And in time I could be the right one**

**Please I'm the B Team**

The song ended and the crowd went crazy. Cas felt a euphoria that he hadn't experienced before. Josh jumped over and high fived Cas, then grabbe the mic."Does this kid fucking rock or what?!" The crowd screamed again.Cas looked out at the crowd and smiled. "So how would you guys feel if we let Cas get his band up here and play one of their songs?" He held the mic out.The crowd went nuts. Cas' smile grew. "The crowd has spoken! Let's get his band up here and see what they got!"Josh and the rest of Marianas Trench moved off to the side as Join The Hunt came on and set up. It didn't take long.Cas looked out at the crowd, then at his band, and smiled. He felt awesome. And at home. He was ready.

Dean leaned over to Charlie. "I don't know which one he's doing. He wouldn't tell me..."

"Well, that's our Cas. Always had a surprise up his sleeve."

Cas took the mic off the stand and walked over to the keyboard. "Okay, as you know, my name is Cas. This is my band Join The Hunt and we've been a band for a few years now." He sat down in front of the keyboard and put the mic on the stand. "So uh, there is an orchestra playing along with us for this song that I wrote about a week and a half ago. This song is called Ever After."

The background music started and Cas looked out at the crowd. Then sang.

**Once upon a time I used to romanticize**

**Used to be somebody, never mind**

**Don't miss it that much now I think it's sinking in**

**Days that I wonder where I've been In picture perfect porcelain**

**But I won't lose a pound**

He played the keyboard and sang.

**You say I would make a better liar**

**And never face the music when it's dire**

**And I breathe disaster, ever after**

**Don't pull away from me now**

The orchestra joined on cue

**Don't you move**

**Can't you stay where you are, just for now I could be your perfect disaster**

**You could be my ever after**

**You could be my ever after, after all**

**I could be your perfect disaster**

**You could be my ever after**

Cas strummed once on his guitar

**Apologies, I'm not myself but I can guarantee**

**That when I get back, you won't believe**

**That you knew me well**

**Don't want to think about it**

**I'm fuckin' tired of getting sick about it**

**Now stand back up and be a man about it**

**And fight for something, fight for something, fight for something, oh**

He played the keyboard

**I would make a better liar**

**And never face the music when it's dire**

**And I breathe disaster, ever after**

**Don't pull away from me now He played his guitar sitting down.**

**Don't you move**

**Can't you stay where you are, just for now**

**I could be your perfect disaster**

**You could my ever after**

**Now you could be my ever after, after all I could be your perfect disaster**

**You could be my ever after**

Cas literally conducted the orchestra from where he was sitting.

**Nobody told ya this is gonna fold ya**

**We go marching in like toy soldiers**

**To have and hold ya over sold ya**

**They’re marching like toy soldiers**

He continued to conduct before he sang.

**Somehow don't you dare fail, fail me now, ever after**

**He cued the orchestra**

**Somehow don't you dare fail, fail me now, ever after**

**Somehow (Face the music when it's dire)**

**Once upon a time**

**This place was beautiful and mine**

**But now it's just a bottom line**

**Barely comes to mind**

**But ever after was mine**

**I'll be your disaster, ever after**

**So fire away**

**Goodbye**

The crowd was on their feet and exploding. Cas raised a fist in the air and bowed. He was out of breath and sweaty but he didn't care. He turned to the band, who were just as excited.The band gathered around Cas, patting him on the back. Marianas Trench walked out. Josh looked to the crowd. "I think I just shit myself! Holy fuck!" The crowed roared again. Josh high fived and man-hugged Cas. "Seriously! That was fucking AMAZING!" Cas smiled. "Thanks." "No really, you have some serious talent! I don't think I've ever seen a seventeen year old kid conduct an orchestra and sing at the same time! You have a bright future ahead of you. You just blew everyone's minds!" Josh looked out at the audience. "Well? What's your verdict?" He held the mic out to the crowd, who were cheering and screaming as if it was Join The Hunt's show. Cas was on cloud nine.

"One more song!" "One more song!" "One more song!" The crowd started chanting. Cas was absolutely blown away. "I think someone just stole the show!" Josh put his arm around Cas. "Whatcha say boys. Think you got one more in ya? I'd like an encore myself!"Adam and the guys gave a thumbs up and took their places. "What ya thinking, boss?" Adam yelled to Cas." Fuck it! Let's do it!" The crowd roared in approval. Cas grabbed the mic and put it back on the original stand. He pushed his guitar behind him. "This Song doesn't involve an orchestra." He smiled. He took a drink of water then threw it into the crowd. "You might need that more than me in a second. This Song is called Desperate Measures." The band cued up and Cas got the crowd going. Soon they were clapping along to the beat.

He kicked off the song by playing his guitar before singing.

**Gonna make a heart-throb out of me**

**Just a bit of minor surgery**

**These desperate times call for desperate measures**

**I'll give you something to cry about**

**Show some skin, and would be, caché**

**How could you let this get to desperate measures now?**

**For a first effort this,**

**Feels kinda last ditch**

**I guess this just**

**Got kinda drastic**

**Trust us you just fell off the bus, baby**

**I can't let this,**

**I can't let this,**

**I can't let this go**

Cas jumped on beat.

**I can't let this,**

**I can't let this go (Desperate measures)**

**I can't let this, I can't let this go**

**When I got you right where I want you**

**I been pushing for this for so long**

**Kiss me, just once, for luck**

**These are desperate measures now**

**I can't let this, I can't let this go**

**Have a piece of American dream**

**Open up, and swallow, on your knees**

**And say "Thank you"**

**I'd like some desperate measures, please**

**For a first effort this,**

**Feels kinda last ditch**

**I guess this just**

**Got kinda drastic**

**Trust us, you just fell off the bus, suckers**

**Yeah, well, payback is a**

He held up his middle finger then continued playing.

**mother fucker**

**I can't let this, I can't let this go (Desperate measures)**

**I can't let this, I can't let this go**

**When I got you right where I want you**

**I been pushing for this for so long**

**Kiss me, just once, for luck**

**These are desperate measures now**

**I can't let this, I can't let this go**

**Forever, for worse or better**

**My poor heart will only surrender**

**Go forever, for worse or better**

**My poor heart will only surrender, now**

The whole band clapped on beat, the crowd followed suit.

**(Desperate measures) I can't let this, I can't let this go**

**When I got you right where I want you**

**I been pushing for this for so long**

**Kiss me, just once, for luck**

**These are desperate measures now (Desperate measure now)**

**I can't let this, I can't let this go**

Cas jumped once, starting the beat back.

**When I got you right where**

**I want you I been pushing for this for so long**

**Kiss me, just once, for luck**

**These are desperate measures now (Desperate measure now)**

**I can't let this, I can't let this go**

Josh grabbed the mic. "Are you fuck... is this real life?! Dude! I don't have the words to explain how I feel right now. Let's let them do it for me." He held the mic out at the crowd again, who completely lost their minds. People were jumping and screaming for Join The Hunt. Both bands came together at the front of the stage. "One more time for Cas and Join The Hunt!" The crowd screamed some more, raising their hands up and cheering. A bra was tossed at Cas.

"I'm flattered but this doesn't do it for me. That beautiful blonde haired dude in the front does."

Josh laughed and looked at Cas. "But seriously. When we're in the area again, I'm looking you up."

"I'm down. Fuck yeah!"

"It's a date then. Well, goodnight and goodbye, fuckers!" Both bands walked off stage to the back. Cas was beyond any level of happiness he'd felt in a long time. He picked the bra up and handed it to Josh. "This dude could use some love right now though cuz he just got shown up by a kid." He laughed. Josh faked looking hurt. "Ouch!" He set the mic down and put his arm around Cas. "Seriously though. You should shoot me a demo and I'll push it to the label." Cas looked at him, wide eyed. "Wow, thanks man!"Josh looked out at the crowd. "Alright that's all you get, folks. We're outta here! Goodnight!"

As they walked to the car, Cas was playing his guitar singing B Team. Jumping around and dancing. He was on a whole new level of cloud nine. He ran up to Dean and kissed him then continued jumping around and singing. Everyone was laughing and cheering him on. "I don't think he'll sleep for awhile." Charlie told Dean. "I'm tired just watching him. Alright energizer bunny, calm down before you hurt yourself."

Cas put his hands on his head. "Babe, I don't think I will ever calm down from this. Ahhhhh so happy!"

Dean smiled and shook his head, pulling Cas in. "So, I take it I did okay with winning that contest, then?"

"Okay? Fuck this was the best night in my life! And he's gonna push my demo! Like, seriously?! Baby, this is amazing." Cas took Dean's mouth in a hasty kiss and hugged him tight. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now get your ass in the car so we can go home and maybe you can take some of that energy out on me."

"You won't have an ass left if I do that to you tonight." Dean just shook his head and opened the car door. Cas said bye to the band. "Hey, we got a demo to do after new years!" He told them getting in the car.He rolled down the window and leaned out. "Best night ever!" He yelled as Dean pulled away. He sat back and rolled up the window. "Holy freakshow!" Charlie yelled from the back seat. Cas turned so he could see her. "You're on their instagram!" "No fucking way!" He climbed in the back seat and took her phone. Sure enough, Marianas Trench posted three videos of Cas. One video for each song. "I think I'm gonna die. Is this really happening right now?!" Dean smiled. "You deserve it Cas."Dean looked in the rearview mirror. Cas was beyond happiness, Charlie was geeking about all the hits those Instagram posts just got, and Cas had a shot at the bigtime. Dean smiled. Cas deserved this, the band deserved this, and it was all coming together for them.

In all the excitement, Cas fell asleep halfway home. Dean dropped Charlie off first. "Dean?" "Yeah?" "I don't think I've ever seen Cas this happy and he deserves everything that happened tonight." "I know. I knew he'd bring the house down. He's more at home on a stage in front of screaming people thanhe is anywhere else." Charlie smiled. "Yeah. Well, I'm out. I can hear my bed yell my name from here. Night Dean." "Night Charlie." Dean looked down. Cas' head was on his lap and he was curled up in the seat. He smiled as he pulled up to Cas' house. He slowly moved Cas so he could get out. He went around to the other side and opened the door. He leaned in and put his arms under Cas and pulled him out of the Impala. Cas shifted in his arms a little asound to the other side and opened the door. Dean opened the front door. Mystic raised her head and growled. "Easy psycho dog." "Hey, you're back." Naomi rounded the corner. She smiled at the sight before her. "I take it someone had a good time." "Yeah, he owned that crowd." Naomi smiled. "I know. Charlie sent me videos." She walked over to Cas' door and opened it. Dean walked in the room. Naomi Pulled the comforter down and Dean carefully laid Cas on the bed then covered him up. Cas shifted again. Dean smiled and kissed his temple. "I should get going. I'll let him tell you about it."Naomi looked at Dean. "You're more than welcome to stay. It's late and I know you've got to be tired, too." Dean thought about it for a second. "Yeah, maybe I will. Thank you." Naomi smiled as she left the room.

Dean looked down at Cas. He was completely out. Dean smiled as he thought back on the events of the evening. Cas had the time of his life tonight.

 

Cas' phone buzzed on the nightstand. Charlie had text him saying he was breaking the internet. He sat up. He almost forgot about last night, thinking itwas a dream. "Cas?" Dean's sleepy voice came from behind him. He sat up. "When did you get here?" "I've been here all night. Your mom suggested I stay after I carried your ass to bed. You're heavier than you look." "Awww you're so sweet. You could have woke me up."

"Yeah and risk cranky Castiel? I don't think so."

Cas hopped out of bed and went to his computer. "Holy fuck! Charlie wasn't kidding!"Dean got up and moved behind Cas. "Wow. You're all over YouTube.""Not just YouTube. Twitter and instagram too! I have to tell the guys!"Cas ran to the table by the bed and grabbed his phone, dialing Adam instantly. "Dude! You're not gonna fucking believe this!! Bring up YouTube and search Marianas Trench......... Right?! This is epic! I can't even!"Cas looked at Dean and flashed him a smile. His door opened. "What's going on in here?" Naomi asked. "I'm all over the Internet that's what's going on!" She looked at his computer then to him. "And you were worried." She walked over to him, hugged him, and kissed his head. "This calls for your favorite breakfast. Then your favorite lunch. And your favorite dinner." She ruffled his hair."All the things!" Cas yelled, throwing his hands in the air. Dean leaned over and kissed him. "Good job, babe."

"Dean, you're the whole reason I even got to do this. You're amazing." "After everything you've been through, you deserve it." He smiled. "You're the amazing one."Dean pulled Cas close and took over his mouth. Cas opened up to the kiss and pulled at Dean's bottom lip. Dean let out a low moan.

"Waffles are ready!"

Dean broke the kiss and dropped his head. "Damn." Cas kissed Dean on the forehead. "Food first, remember?"

As they ate, Cas told Naomi the events that unfolded. Including Josh telling Cas that he'll push the band's demo through to the label. Naomi smiled brightly at her son. "I knew you would be a star some day. Ever since you were four running around the house singing Michael Jackson." Dean choked on his waffle. Cas dropped his head in his hand. "You like Michael Jackson?!" Cas groaned. "Thanks mom. Now he's gonna tell Charlie who will never let me live it down." Dean was already on his phone. "Yup. Just texted her. She's gonna crap her pants."Cas' head fell to the table. "Nothing like your mom telling an embarrassing story to make you come crashing down from cloud nine."Naomi ruffled the back of her son's head. "They were bound to find out sooner or later. Oh! I have home videos of him performing Thriller. Wanna watch, Dean?"

Dean smiled. "Damn straight, I do. It's probably adorable."

"Oh my God. At least do smooth criminal or dirty diana. At least those will shut both of them up." He lifted his head and looked at Dean. "It's not adorable. I was ten and totally fucking rocked it thank you very much." He took a bite of his bacon.

"Then you rocked it. Adorably." Dean winked at Cas, who responded with his middle finger and a flick of his tongue.

"I'll show you adorable Winchester. Bend over."

"Alright Cas. Cool it."

"Technically, you started this mother so it's not my fault."

Naomi rolled her eyes. "At least wait until I leave for the store. But until then, Dean and I are going to watch you sing Thriller."

"You're no fun, mom."

Dean followed Naomi to the living room, where he put in an ok VHS.

"This is gold!" She said happily, sitting down next to Dean on the couch. Cas leaned against the wall behind them.

The video started. "Mom, is it on?" "Yes, Castiel, it's on!" "Push play!" The music started and Cas sang into a hairbrush in nothing but a shirt and his underwear. He was wearing oversized aviators. Dean nodded as he watched; Cas did totally rock that song, even at ten years old. But it was also extremely adorable and Dean would be getting Charlie to make a copy.

"I hate you both." Cas said as he cleared the table. "But that does give me an idea for Desperate Measures. Well, when we actually sign with someone and start playing shows."

"What, you're gonna sing in your underwear?"

Cas smiled. "Risky Business style."

"I like."

The video ended. Naomi stood up. "Well, I have errands to run and I have to get stuff to make dinner for our overnight celebrity. Be back in a few hours."

She put on her coat, snatched up her purse, and walked out the door. Cas plopped down next to Dean and put his head on his lap.

"Is this all real? Or am I having an amazing dream?" Dean played with Cas' hair.

"All real, darling. All real. And it was awesome. You worked that crowd like you had been doing that for years."

"Technically I have been. Just on a much smaller scale." He smiled. "And the band, they memorized the songs in less than a day. They work just as hard as I do." He laid his head on Dean's shoulder. "It just doesn't seem real to me. Like, it's all a dream and I could wake up any second." "Well that's not gonna happen. It's all real babe." Dean sat up. "Now that your mom is out..." he leaned in and kissed Cas.Cas moved so he was laying down and pulled Dean down with him, not breaking the kiss. His phone rang in his pocket. His head fell back to the couch. "Dammit. Who the fuck..." He took his phone out and answered. "Hello?" "Is this Cas?" "Yeah." "Hey man, it's Josh Ramsay." Cas shot up into a sitting position. "Holy shit hey Josh. How did you get my number?" "Your friend Charlie gave it to me after the show." "Of course she did. So uh, what's up?" "So since it's new year's eve, I was wondering if you and your friends wanted to come to a party here in Kansas City. Our flight back to LA was canceled."

Cas looked at Dean. "You sure this is real? Because Josh Ramsay just invited us to a new year's party." Dean sat up, straddling Cas. "For serious?! Dude, yes! We're going! I've decided for you. Gonna call Charlie..." Dean lept of of Cas, nearly tripping himself on his own feet as he ran for his phone.

"Yeah, we're in! I'll pass the word along! Just ahh..." Cas searched for a pen and paper. He found a permanent marker and an envelope. "...What's the address?... Got it. Yeah we'll see you then!" Cas hung up the call and stared at his phone for a moment. Then he called Adam and tokd him to get the guys the info.

Dean put his phone down, his ear still ringing from Charlie's shrieks of excitement. She would be getting Meg. Next thing he knew, he was tackled to the bed and Cas invaded his mouth. "You are the best boyfriend ever. In the history of ever."Cas showered Dean with kisses. Dean laughed. "I know." Cas got up. "I have to tell my mom! She's gonna be so amped!"Cas practically flew to his phone and called Naomi. Dean pulled some clothes on and watched Cas. He was talking a mile a minute and his hands were all over the place, which is how you could tell if he was really excited about something. Dean pulled his phone out and called his mom.

"Hey! So I'm going to a New Year's Eve party in Kansas City.... oh you know, Cas and the gang....oh and Marianas Trench................. I know right?! Cas was amazing at the show and they loved him. They invited him, us, and the band to hang out.......I'll be by to grab some stuff....love ya. Bye." Dean hung up the phone in time to see Cas run out of the room screaming.

"I'M GONNA PARTY WITH JOSH RAMSAY OH MY FUCKING SHIT!"

Dean shook his head, smiling. He liked seeing Cas so happy. He would do anything to keep that smile on his face.

Shortly after calling everyone, the band, Meg, and Charlie were all in Cas’ living room. Naomi came in the front door.

“Looks like a party.”

“We'll be out of your hair soon. We'll make celebratory food tomorrow.”

“No worries, Castiel. Just be careful!”

“You got it!” Cas called as he and the others walked out to their vehicles. In no time, they were loaded and rolling down the street towards Kansas City.

Everyone was singing "Shake Tramp" with the window down as they pulled up. Cas was hanging out the window. "Try a little more try a little more!" Josh jumped on top of a car and raised his arms. "I slap you like a bitch and you take it like a whore!" He sang along with Cas. Everyone around got into the song until Cas was on the car with Josh and they were both jumping up and down on the car singing.

When the song ended, Josh and Cas high-fived and hugged. Dean was smiling as he watched. “Looks like someone made a new friend.” Josh jumped down from the car. “Hey, Dean, how's it going?” Josh and Dean shook hands and man-hugged each other. “I'm so glad everyone could make it. This is going to be so epic.” “Thanks for having us, man.” Cas had gotten off of the car and walked over to Dean and Josh. “Stealing my man already?” Josh winked at Cas. “Alright guys let's get your stuff up to your rooms. I got you the best.”

Cas leaned in to Dean and whispered in his ear. “What does he mean, he got us the best?” Dean shrugged. “Guess we'll find out.”

They followed Josh through the sea of people. They all got in the elevator. "If you have to fart, blame it on Matt." Josh said hitting the button for the top floor. "He can just make another science hour out of it." Cas said. "The party is downstairs but I figured you guys would want to crash out here instead of going back to Lawrence. We have the whole top floor. Two penthouse suites one for us, one for you."

When they arrived at their floor, Josh handed them a few room keys. “Okay, here are your keys. We're gonna go get ready. See you downstairs in couple hours!” Josh and the rest of Marianas Trench walked to their suite. Cas and the others walked to their own door. Cas put the key in and took a deep breath. The room was huge. It had a kitchenette, dining room, living room, and a hallway down to the three bedrooms. “Fuck. Yes.” Cas stepped in and stared. He turned to Dean. “I have no words.” "So this is what it's like to be a rock star." Adam said pushing past Cas. "If this is what it's like, sign me up right now." Cas said. Cas jumped onto one of the beds and laid on his back. "I could get used to this.""Hey check it out! We have fans!" Adam said looking out over the balcony. Cas got up and went to the balcony. Leaning over the railing. The people started screaming when they saw Cas. "Hey! Calm the fuck down!" He yelled with a smile."Jesus it's only been twenty-four hours and these people are going ape shit." He looked at the guys. "We could totally do a music video!" He turned around. "CHARLIE!""Yeah?" She popped her head out of the door to the balcony. "You called, asshat?""We're doing a music video. You stay up here and film. Meg can take the other camera and go down to the crowd film them and us." "What song boss?" Adamasked. "Stutter." He turned to Meg. "Before we start, go grab like ten people down there and bring them up here. Oh shit! I should get Josh in on this!" Jeff piped up from the back. "Is this even allowed?!"

"Oh. They'll let me. I'll be right back."

Cas left and walked down to the room where Josh was at. He knocked on the door.Josh answered. "Hey Cas. What's up?"

"I want to do a music video." Josh smiled. "Oh hell yeah! Count me in! Tell me what to do."

"Okay, so a majority of it will be on the balcony and split between the band and the crowd outside. Halfway through, I'll be walking down the hall with a lot of people and we'll end up on the stage. What I need you to do is let the people outside in when Meg gives you the signal and you act like their running you over. Then you join me on stage for the last chorus."

"Dude! This is gonna be epic!"Cas walked back to their room. "Alright, Charlie is our director. Meg, you're gonna use the other camera. Band peeps get your stuff to the stage downstairs and get ready. Dean, you're helping Meg." Cas looked at everyone. "This is the shit."Cas walked out to the balcony. "Hey! You fuckers wanna be in a music video?!" The fans below cheered. "Yeah, that's what I thought." Josh walked out. "Holy shit! There's like three hundred people out there!" He put his arm around Cas. "Taking to it like a duck to water ain't he?!" The fans yelled. Cas turned to Charlie. "Ready?" She gave him the thumbs up. "Alright I need you guys to clap like this." He started clapping. Josh left the room. Cas grabbed his guitar. "Keep it up!" He yelled at the fans. From below, Meg gave him the thumbs up. "Hit it Charlie."

He clapped with the crowd before singing.

**I know I never make this easy.**

**It's easier to disappear.**

**You said,**

**Give me some,**

**A thing that I can go on.**

**Together, yeah anywhere but here.**

**Sing it back.**

**Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh**

**Hey yeah Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh-oh-oh**

He played his guitar and sang

**And I'm begging you,**

**Bring me back to life,**

**I just can't stand leaving you alone tonight.**

**It's too late to go,**

**Already taken me forever just to try to know.**

**One for the money, two for the show,**

**Three to get ready, and four to go.**

**For the life of me, I don't know why it took me so long to see.**

**I just Stutter, Stutter, Stutter,**

**Di-di-di-di-di-did I?**

**Stutter, Stutter, Stutter,**

**Di-di-di-di-di-di-did I?**

**Stutter, Stutter, Stutter,**

**Di-di-di-di-di-did I?**

**Stutter, Stutter, Stutter,**

**Di-di-di-di-di-di-did I?**

He walked out of the room,

Charlie was in front of him.

He pushed his guitar behind him and singing and clapping with the crowd that followed him.

**Sunshine**

**Blinds you if you stare but,**

**Now I see, yeah (crystal), crystal clear.**

**So here I am,**

**You can take or leave me.**

**But I won't ever be anywhere but here.**

**Sing it back.**

**Oh-oh, (yeah) Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh**

**Sing it back to me.**

**Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh-oh-oh**

Josh let all the people in. They flooded the door.

**And I'm begging you,**

**Bring me back to life,**

**I just can't stand leaving you alone tonight.**

**It's too late to go,**

**Already taken me forever just to try to know.**

**One for the money, two for the show,**

**Three to get ready, and four to go.**

**For the life of me,**

**I don't know why it took me so long to see.**

**I just**

**Stutter, Stutter, Stutter,**

**Di-di-di-di-di-did I?**

**Stutter, Stutter, Stutter,**

**Di-di-di-di-di-di-did I?**

**Stutter, Stutter, Stutter,**

**Di-di-di-di-di-did I?**

**Stutter, Stutter, Stutter,**

**Di-di-di-di-di-di-did I?**

**Oh, na na na, Stutter.**

**Oh, na na na, Did I?**

**Oh, na na na, (Yeah)**

**Oh, na na na,**

**Di-di-di-di-did I?**

**Oh, na na na,**

**Di-di-di-di-did I?**

**Oh, na na na,**

**Di-di-di-di**

**Oh, na na na,**

**Di-di-di-di**

**Oh, na na na,**

**Di-di-di-di-**

**Oh, na na na,**

**Di-di-di-di-did I?**

**Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh**

**And you been singing,**

**Oh-oh, Oh-oh,**

**Oh-oh-oh-oh**

**Hey,**

They made it to the stage. Josh played his guitar alongside Cas.

**Bring me back to life,**

**I just can't stand leaving you alone tonight.**

**It's too late to go,**

**Already taken me forever just to try to know.**

**One for the money, two for the show,**

**Three to get ready, and four to go.**

**For the life of me, I don't know why it took me so long to see.**

**I just Stutter, Stutter, Stutter,**

**Di-di-di-di-di-did I?**

**Stutter, Stutter, Stutter,**

**Di-di-di-di-di-di-did I?**

**Stutter, Stutter, Stutter,**

**Di-di-di-di-di-did I?**

**Stutter, Stutter, Stutter,**

**Di-di-di-di-di-di-did I?**

The crowd was screaming at the stage. Cas grabbed a mic.

“Thank you all for participating in our randomness! Make sure to follow Join The Hunt on YouTube, that's where my bestie Charlie is gonna put this up when it's done! You fuckers rock!”

“Thanks, bitches!” Josh yelled out to the fans. They were jumping and screaming. “We appreciate your help in making this. Keep your eyes peeled for the vid!” Security escorted the people out quickly.

Cas turned to Josh. “Did I just…. Did I just randomly make a video with Marianas Trench?!”

"Hell yes, you did! Dude that rocked! I can't wait to see it! Charlie, I expect an email when it's ready!"

"You got it!"

"Welcome to the rock star life Cas." Josh said giving Cas a high five. Dean hopped on the stage and hugged Cas, kissing him on the lips. "You are amazing.""It's been said." Cas smiled a thousand watt smile. He turned to Josh. "Thanks for helping out." "Oh no problem. I love doing random shit in hotels." "Well, I'm off to the room to edit this." Charlie held up three SD Memory cards. "Make sure you put featuring Josh Ramsay on there and put Marianas Trench in the tags." Cas said."Alright, let's go and get ready for this party. See all you bitches soon." Josh headed back to his room. "We should do the same," Dean took Cas by the hand. When Cas got back to the room, he helped Charlie with the editing. Picking the angles and the flow between him, the band, Josh and the crowd. When they finished it, Charlie hit the upload button and they gave each other a high five and a hug. "If this doesn't get you a record deal, I don't know what will." Charlie said bouncing on the bed."This is just so unreal. I got to play onstage with my favorite band, then they invite me to party with them, and now I've made my first ever music video and my favorite artist was in it. I think I might explode."

"Go explode with Dean, on your own bed."

"Funny slut."

"My pleasure."

"Send that to my mom.

I'm outta here. See you at the party."

He got up and walked to his room. Dean pushed him against the wall. "Bout time." He pressed his lips to Cas'. Cas returned the kiss. They were already clawing at each others clothes. Dean took Cas' vest off and made quick work of his white button up and tie. He ran his fingers down Cas torso down to his black pants.Cas bit lightly Dean's neck, following with slow kisses up to his chin and finally his mouth, where he sucked his bottom lip. Dean had undone Cas' pants and was working them down to the floor. Cas ran his hands up Dean's spine, digging his fingernails into Dean's skin. He rolled his hips against Dean's.

"Damn, Cas. Gonna make short work of me."

"Guess I better slow down then." Cas backed Dean up to the bed and pushed him down. He pulled Dean's jeans off the rest of the way, his boxers going with them. Cas climbed on top of Dean and devoured his chest and torso, finally reaching his swollen cock. He flicked his tongue across Dean's tip then closed his mouth around it. Dean let out a long sigh, grabbing a fist full of Cas' hair. Cas moved slowly up and down, working the shaft with his hand. Dean's head fell back in a moan. Cas moved a bit faster, moving his hand and rubbed Dean's hole. Dean reached for his jeans and grabbed a small bottle of lube, handing it to Cas. Cas squirted a drop on his finger and rubbed it on Dean then slowly pushed a finger inside him.

"God, Cas. So good. Mmmm..."

Cas threw Dean a thumbs up. Dean laughed. "Smartass."

Cas ran his tongue from base to tip, flicking again at the slit. Dean arched his back and lifted his hips as a moan escaped his lips. Dean's hips were moving in rhythm with Cas. Suddenly, Dean wrapped his legs around Cas, who removed his mouth long enough to speak. "Oh yeah...." Cas was interrupted by Dean flipping him to his back. An evil grin crossed Cas' face.

"Tricky Winchester."

"Glad you think so." Dean grabbed the lube and put some on Cas' shaft, slowly working it til it was ready. He positioned himself the slowly sank down. Cas grabbed a fist full of sheets. "Fuck!" He breathed. Dean slowly rolled his hips, watching as Cas' breathing picked up. Cas took Dean in his hand and stroked him in rhythm with Dean. Cas flexed his hips up at a different angle. Dean let out a loud grunt and closed his eyes. "Fuck, Cas.... do it again..."

"With pleasure," Cas said, almost in a whisper. He repeated the motion, nailing Dean's prostate again, harder this time. Dean moaned again, almost falling off.

"Come on, Winchester, use those sea legs."

"You're such a smart ass. Gonna pay for that." Dean pulled himself off of Cas and swiped the precum from his own cock, slicking it up. He lined up with Cas' hole and pushed in. Cas arched his back off the bed.

"Jesus fuck!" Dean smiled. "Dean will do." Cas looked at him. "Shut up." He smiled. Dean started slow, letting Cas get used to the sudden fullness. It didn't take long before Cas was groaning and grabbing fistfuls of bedsheet. Dean moved hips faster, taking Cas in his hand. Cas tilted his head back. "God Dean..." "You gonna come?" Cas nodded, completely wrecked. He hit Cas’ Prostate hard. "Come for me." He hit his prostate again. Cas came undone. "Dean..." His body shook with the force of his orgasm, quiet moans escaping his lips. Hearing Cas moan through his orgasm did Dean in. He leaned forward slightly and let loose, going hard and fast until he felt himself unravel.Dean was still for a moment, opening his eyes finally and blinking into focus. Cas was lying there eyes closed, breathing like he had just run a marathon. Dean pulled his now limp cock from its place and rolled onto his back next to Cas. Cas turned his head and looked at Dean. He moved to his side and kissed him. "I love you." He whispered. Dean looked at him and smiled. "I love you too Cas." They wrapped their arms around each other. Dean kissed Cas again and sighed. "I'd love to just stay here all night and have a rematch in like two hours but we have a party to get to."

"Yeah... Should probably shower first. I don't think showing up smelling like sex and dried cum is appropriate."

"Good idea."

They got up and headed to the shower. They washed quickly, in between small make out sessions then got out. They dried off and got dressed. Cas walked out of the room and ran his hand back and forth through his hair. Everyone was sitting in the living room talking. They looked at Cas as he entered. "What? Just because you guys are here doesn't mean I'm not gonna have sex. Just be glad you didn't hear it." Dean walked out behind Cas and winked at the others, smacking Cas on the ass as he moved past him. Cas smiled at the group and walked into the kitchen, getting a Mountain Dew from the fridge. "You know how Josh is with Coke Zero? That's you with Mountain Dew." Charlie said. Cas opened the can and took a drink. "I'm okay with that." He moved to the living room. "Okay, let me watch the music video." "Oh my gosh it is so good!" Charlie beamed.

Cas sat down at Charlie's laptop and played the video. Dean leaned on the chair behind him. Cas sat in front of the laptop and watched the video. It already had ten thousand hits in just twenty minutes. "This is freaking awesome!" He gave everyone high fives. "Josh is doing a live feed on Facebook right now." Cas sat next to Charlie. "Okay so everyone keeps asking me about what's going on with Cas, the kid who won last night's contest. This kid man. He reminds me a lot of myself when I was his age. He has raw natural talent. I mean the kid threw together an entire music video in twenty minutes. And he's taking his taking to this like a duck to water. He's already proved that he has what it takes. His band has too. So I pushed his two songs to my label who pushed it to Warner Bros in California and they want to hear more."

Cas jumped onto the seat of the chair.

"HOLY SHIT ARE YOU FUCKING FOR REAL WARNER BROTHERS WANTS MORE!" The whole room burst into applause. Dean scooped Cas off the chair and spun him around, kissing him. "Babe that fucking rocks! I'm so proud of you! All of you!"

There was a knock. Meg got up and answered. Josh was standing there with his phone. "I guess he was watching." He pointed the camera to Cas. Everyone was still cheering. Cas turned around. "You're fucking awesome Josh!"Dean put Cas down on the floor. Cas jogged over to Josh and hugged him. "Seriously! That is... I can't even believe this is happening."

"Well I meant every word. You're already a pro."Josh put his arm around Cas. "So you guys are gonna be seeing a lot more of this little fucker soon!" "Damn right! Better hope you can handle me!""Alright. We have a party to rock! Later!" Cas threw up the live long and prosper sign. "Peace out bitches!"Josh stopped the video and put his phone in his pocket. "Who's ready to rock this shit?"

"Let's do this!" Cas grabbed Dean by the hand and walked out of the room behind Josh, the band and Charlie and Meg following. As they reached the ballroom, Cas stopped and took a deep breath.

"You ready for the big time babe?" Dean looked at Cas. "Damn right." Cas pushed the door open, still holding Dean's hand.

The room erupted with cheers and screams. Josh grabbed the mic. "Okay so, I'm gonna let Join The Hunt take the stage because Warner Bros wants to hear more from them. What about you?" He held the mic out. Everyone cheered. "Alright then. Take it away boys."

Cas strapped on his guitar. "Alright, I wrote this song in like early November. This song is called Cross My Heart." The crowd screamed as the band took their places. Cas turned around and smiled. "Good?" Adam looked up. "Awesome!" Cas nodded. "Hit it, bitches." Cas started out with guitar. Adam joined in.

Cas started singing.

**So here's another day**

**I'll spend away from you**

**Another night I'm on another broken avenue**

**My bag is ripped and worn**

**Then again now so am I**

**Take what you want to take**

**What you wanna take What you..**

**I miss the stupid things**

**We'd go to sleep and then**

**You'd wake me up and kick me out of bed at 3 AM**

**Pick up the phone and hear you saying dirty things to me**

**Do what you wanna do What you wanna do What you..**

**Take me with you I start to miss you**

**Take me home I don't wanna be alone tonight**

**And I do want to show you I will run to you to you till I**

**Can't stand on my own anymore**

**I cross my heart and hope to die**

**Cross my heart and hope to die**

Cas jumped in a circle then went back to the mic, holding his guitar above his head, still playing.

**Cross my heart and hope to..**

**Hotels are all the same**

**You're still away from me**

**Another day**

**Another dollar that I'll never see**

**Gonna get the pieces**

**The pieces**

**Pieces of something good**

**Lie just a little lie**

**Just a little lie Just a..**

**I wonder what your doing**

**I wonder if you doubt it**

**I wonder how we used to ever go so long without it**

**I don't know where to go I'm going back to you**

**Be where I ought to be Where I ought to be**

**Where I..**

**Take me with you I start to miss you**

**Take me home**

**I don't wanna be alone tonight**

**And I do want to show you**

**I will run to you to you till I**

**Can't stand on my own anymore**

**I cross my heart and hope to die**

**Take me with you I start to miss you**

**Take me with you I start to miss you**

**Take me with you I start to miss you**

**Take me with you I start to miss you**

**Take me with you I start to miss you**

**Take me with you I start to miss you**

**Take me with you I start to miss you**

**Take me with you I start to miss you**

**Take me with you I start to miss you**

**Take me**

**Home I don't wanna be alone tonight**

**And I do want to show you**

**I will run to you to you till I**

**Can't stand on my own anymore I cross my heart and hope to die**

**And I do want to show you I will run to you to you till I**

**Can't stand on my own anymore**

**I cross my heart and hope to die**

**And I do want to show you**

**I will run to you to you till I**

**Can't stand on my own anymore**

**I cross my heart and hope to die**

**And I do want to show you I will run to you to you till I**

**Can't stand on my own anymore**

**I cross my heart and hope to die**

Cas grabbed the mic. "Okay, story time. A few weeks ago, I went to rehab because I was addicted to Meth, Coke, and the fun one...Heroin. let me tell ya,it sucked donkey dick. One of the worst things I've ever been through. So what did I do? Write songs." He walked over to the keyboard and sat down, pulling the mic on the stand. "I wrote this song about halfway through the withdrawals and there were a lot of dark things goin on in my head. I was scared that everyone I love would just leave." He played a few notes. "This song is called Lover Dearest." The crowd screamed again.

Cas closed his eyes, played a note then sang.

**This place is a hole, but I don't want to go**

**I wish we could stay here forever alone.**

**This time that we waste, but I still love your taste.**

**Don't let him take my place, don't just sit there.**

**Sometimes I wish you would leave me.**

**Well, I'm not sick of you yet, is that as good as it gets?**

**I'll just try to hide it, or I could slip into you,**

**It's so easy to come back into you.**

**I stand for awhile and waited for words,**

**Seen but not heard and struggled to try.**

**My tongue's turning black, but I'll take you back.**

**You're still the best more or less, I guess, I guess.**

**Don't you leave me,**

**Well, I'm not sick of you yet,**

**Is that as good as it gets?**

**I'll just try to hide it, or I could slip into you,**

**It's so easy to come back into you.**

**It hurts me to say that it hurts me to stay.**

**And it might be alright if you go.**

**It hurts me to say that I want you to stay,**

**But it might be alright if you go.**

**So leave me, well, I'm not sick of you yet,**

**Is that as good as it gets?**

**I'll just try to hide it, or I could slip into you,**

**It's so easy to come back into you.**

**Sometimes I think that the bitter in you and the quitter in me**

**Is the bitter in you and the quitter in me.**

**The bitter in you and the quitter in me**

**Is the bitter in you and the quitter in me.**

**The bitter in you and the quitter in me**

**Is bigger than the both of us**

Dean hurt as he listened to Cas sing. He felt every ounce of pain that Cas had gone through; it came out so beautifully in the lyrics and in the music. When the song ended, the whole ballroom burst into cheers and applause. Shouts of "I love you Cas" were heard. Dean saw Cas wipe a tear as he stood up from the piano.

The music started and Cas clapped his hands above his head before playing guitar and singing.

**So nice to see ya here**

**Impolite would only be beneath us**

**It's been what?**

**A half a year**

**Like nothing ever happened in-between us**

**Fill me in on how you've been**

**And I would tell you anything**

**You'd like to hear now**

**And we can laugh some**

**Reminisce some**

**From the same old stories to the new ones**

**When the nights done,**

**I will just see you around**

Cas jumped up and down then danced in front of the mic while singing.

**But that's not what I came for, my amour**

**I hate to admit it but I miss the war**

**Oh**

**Gotta get you under fire quick**

**Brace for it I'd rather be a riot than indifferent**

**Oh Oh,**

**This means war, yeah**

**This means, this means, this means, this means war**

**I'm calm,**

**I'm sure of it**

**Don't shake because I've never even rattled**

**It's a good school I've heard of it**

**You want to move away; surrender from the battle I just wished you opened fire on me**

**So I can see you still worry if I care**

**And you can laugh some**

**Reminisce some**

**From the same old stories to the some new ones**

**When the nights done,**

**You'll just see me around But that's not what I came for, my amour I hate to admit it but I miss the war**

**Oh Gotta get you under fire quick**

**Brace for it I'd rather be a riot than indifferent**

**Oh Oh,**

**This means war**

**Yeah This means,**

**This means,**

**This means, this means war**

**Fire in the**

**Fire in the**

**Fire in the**

**Fire in the hole**

**Fire in the**

**Fire in the**

**Fire in the**

**Fire in the hole**

**Take cover baby**

**Take cover baby**

**Take cover baby**

**Take cover, take cover, baby**

**Take cover**

**Came for, my amour**

**I hate to admit it but I miss the war**

**Oh**

**Gotta get you under fire quick**

**Brace for it I'd rather be a riot than indifferent**

**Oh**

**Of course you know this means war, yeah (Fire in the hole, fire in the hole) [x8]**

**This means, this means, this mean this means war**

As the last notes of Cas' guitar rang out, the crowd was going insane.Josh jumped on the stage and grabbed a mic.

"Well, what do ya think?" He held the mic out at the crowd. Their screams were the loudest they had been all night.

"Well, I think we'll hear more from Join The Hunt very, very soon. If you haven't watched the video that we made, and edited, and fucking posted today, I suggest you do that like, now. Because seriously, Cas and his posse are amazing!"

"Actually, I'm sure we can pull it up on the screen behind us." Cas said looking at Josh.

"Well shit! Play it then!" Cas looked out at the crowd.

"Char..."

"On it, butt face!"

The video started with Cas clapping over his head. Then the angle changed as Cas started singing to the camera pointing up at him. **"Sing it back!"** The camera went to Josh. **"Oh, oh,oh,"** Then back to Cas. "Now I'm begging you," He started playing guitar. **"Bring me back to life...""One for the money, two for the show, Three to get ready and four to go..."** Cas was dancing as he made his way down the hall and playing his guitar. When the words "four to go" were sang, he was pulled out of the frame by his tie.

The camera focused in on Josh as he opened the door, letting all of the fans run in and acting like he was being run over as they came in.

An elevator door opened up and Cas came dancing out with his guitar flipped to his back.

**"I just Stutter, stutter, stutter... Di-di-di-di-di-did I..."**

Josh and Cas met in the hall and they ran into the ballroom on stage.

**"O na na na"**

**"Di-di-di-di-di-did I Di-di-di-di-di-did I"**

Cas flipped his guitar back around and began to play with his band. The next shots were of Jeff on drums, Adam on bass, and Benny playing rhythm guitar. There were even some slow motion shots of them playing.Then Cas got of stage and jumped on beat with the crowd, then back up on stage.Cas joined Josh at the mic he was using and sang the rest of the song together.

**One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go**

**For the life of me I don't know why ot took so long to see**

**I just stutter, stutter, stutter**

**Di-di-di-di-di-di-did I**

The video ended with the crowd cheering and Cas and Josh bowing. Cas turned to the fans.

"Well, how was my first time? Did I take you all the way?" The crowd responded with more screaming. He heard one girl yell out. "Fuck me, Cas!"

"Yeah, no. Barking up the wrong dick honey. Somebody get that bitch a dildo! Hold on..." Cas jumped off stage. "Who said that?" A young woman raised her hand. Cas grabbed her and took her on stage. He stood her in front of Josh. "Josh, meet fuck me lady. Fuck me lady, meet Josh. Have fun." The crowd was roaring with laughter.

"Now is probably a good time to introduce the man who made this possible buly entering my band in the contest to meet this jackhole over here." Cas motioned at Josh, who flipped Cas a middle finger with a smile. Cas turned back to the crowd. "Dean, get your sweet ass up here."

Dean got on stage and walked over to Cas. Cas put his arm around him. "Dean won the contest for me while I was in rehab just so I could meet my favorite band and biggest influence for my music." He gave Dean a quick kiss. "None of this would be possible without him." The crowd awed and applauded. Josh stepped up to the mic. "Gonna take a short break before next set. Be back soon, bitches!" Join The Hunt filed off the stage, followed by Cas, Dean, and Josh.

"Well, how ya feeling?" Josh looked at Cas. "Like I'm dreaming. This can't be real. It's too awesome."

"It'll wear off." Josh smiled. "Took me a while to get used to it. Just don't let it go to your head." Cas smiled. "That's why this dude is here. He keeps me level. One of the many reasons I love him."

"I'm gonna go soundcheck with the guys and get ready. Go enjoy! They love your ass." Josh headed to the rest of the band. Cas took Dean's hand. "Seriously Dean, I can't thank you enough for this." Dean just smiled. "You already have. Trust me. Just getting to watch you is thank you enough."

Cas smiled and kissed Dean. "I'm hungry. Is there food somewhere?" Dean pointed to a green room area. "They have like, a fancy buffet for us back there." Cas' eyes widened. "Ahhhh shit yes!" He started toward the room. Dean rolled his eyes and took off after him.

Everyone was already in there walked in. "Is this awesome or what?" Adam threw a handful of pretzels at Cas."It's pretty fucking fantastic, that's what." Cas grabbed a sandwich and sat down on a couch. He took a bite. "This is magic." "This is fucking Wonderland." Charlie chimed in. "Amen to that." Cas said before taking a bite.

They finished their food and headed out to watch Marianas Trench play their set. It was amazing. The way Josh and the guys worked the crowd was amazing. Song after song, it just kept getting better. Finally, it was time to count down to the new year.

Ten... Cas and Dean turned to watch the countdown on the screen.

Nine...

Eight...

Seven...

Charlie turned around and smiled at Cas.

Six...

Five...

Four...

Three... Cas turned to Dean and grabbed him by the hips.

Two... Pulled him close.

One. Cas took over Dean's mouth and explored the interior with his tongue. Dean groaned and pulled Cas in as close as he could, rolling his hips against Cas'.Cas pulled away slightly.

"Happy New Year Dean."

"Happy New Year Cas. You're gonna set the world on fire. I know it."


	10. Prom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, sorry it took so long everyone! I had to wait til I was around a WiFi connection. ENJOY!!
> 
> Songs in the chapter:
> 
> All to myself by Marianas Trench (written as JTH)
> 
> Everything I Do by Brian Adams (mentioned)
> 
> Stutter by Marianas Trench (written as JTH only part of the song.)
> 
> Perfect by Marianas Trench (written as JTH)

Cas and the band were the talk of the school. Cas was almost late to his first class because of all the kids swarming around him, wanting him to talk about the concert and new year's eve. Dean and a few football players basically became his bodyguards, ushering him to all of his classes as well as the rest of the band.   "They only think you're cool because you hung out with Josh." Charlie said at lunch, taking a bite of her pizza.

"Yeah, and most of them don't even know who Josh is." Cas said. "They just know he's famous and they think jumping on the bandwagon will somehow change the fact that they've ignored me for the past six years."  

"And made fun of you." Dean added, taking a drink of his soda."Okay, classes for the rest of the day, let's see the schedules boys." Charlie pushed the plastic tray aside. Cas pulled his schedule out of his pocket,as did Dean. They set them in front of her. "Aw, you both have tv production together. I had it this morning. Music theory, nice choice Cas. Hey! We allhave advanced English and theater together! Wait," She looked at Dean. "How did you get into advanced English?"   

"I tested in."  "When did you do that?" "Before the break. Don't look so surprised you two."Cas ruffled Dean's hair. "Look at you, getting into all my classes so you can stare at my ass more."Cas just smiled. "I always knew you weren't just another dumb jock." He leaned across the table and grabbed his schedule. The bell rang and they got up and dumped the garbage off their trays and set them aside. Cas put messenger bag over his head on the opposite shoulder.

"Well, I'm off to AP physics. Have fun in tv production!" Charlie smiled at them.   They walked down the hall together. Dean took Cas' hand and entwined their fingers. Everyone was stilltalking about new years. Cas could hear a few people play stutter on their phones. A few people were actually singing it. "So. I would imagine we have afinal project in tv production." Dean looked at him. "Yup. Charlie and I are working together on it. You too." Dean raised his eyebrows. "Don't look sosurprised Winchester. We did make a music video in twenty minutes a few days ago."  

"So what are we doing?"  Cas wagged his eyebrows and opened the doorto the TV production room. "What I do best babe." The class erupted with applause as Cas walked in the room. Cas jumped on a chair and started bowing. "Thank you, I'll be here til graduation." Then Crowley walked in.

"Yes, yes Castiel, we're all impressed by your music video. Now sit down. You're back in school." Cas jumped off the chair and sat in it, still smiling. Crowley turned around. "I Expect big things from you this semester."  

"Yes sir."

"Okay, final project." Crowley turned to the class. "The video can be anything you want as long as it's not porn. You have all semester to work on it and you have to use at least four different camera angles. I want them on my desk a week before graduation. You can work in groups or by yourself. Cas, I understand you'll be working with Charlie, Meg, and Dean. Like I said, I expect big things. I want to take a minute to have the class analyze your video if you don't mind."  

"Go for it."   

Crowley brought up the video and fast forwarded then stopped. "Okay, I can tell this Charlie's handy work. Who can tell me what angle this is. Cas, you're not allowed to answer." Dean raised his hand. "Extreme close up."

"Very good Mr Winchester." They spent a few more minutes going over the video. Then Crowley let them start to plan their final project. "So what are we doing?" Dean asked. "Another music video. This time, we're getting the whole school involved." "So where do we start?" Dean asked. Cas pulled out a slightly worn notebook. "Well, we have to make the song first, then record it. Then we can worry about the video." He flipped through the pages. "We'll get started on the song after school. That could take a few days. Recording it will probably take a day if we're lucky. Then I have to ask the principal for permission to shoot the video during school and I'm sure permission slips have to be sent home for parents to sign so students can be in the video." Cas put his pencil between his teeth.   

"What about the kids who's parents don't give permission?"  

"They'll have to stay in class I guess." He tapped the pencil on the notebook. "I'm gonna go ask the principal for permission so he can get the permissionslips ready." He stood up. "Wanna go?"   Dean nodded, standing up. Cas looked over at Crowley. "Gotta go ask the principal something." Crowley nodded. "Take the hall pass."

They walked into the main office. "Can I help you boys?" The secretary asked. "Yeah, I need to ask Mr Surley something. It's for a project in tv production."

"Boys? What can I do for you?"

"Well, for our final project in tv production, we're doing a music video and I want to get the school involved and film it during school."  

 "Involve the school? How so?"

 "Students on camera, maybe a few teachers."   

"What parts of the school will you be using?"  

"Uh, the gym for sure. I haven't worked out all the details yet."  

"Well get back to me when you do and we'll talk about it." Cas gave Mr Surley a thumbs up and headed back into the hallway. "If they let you do this, it will be so awesome!"

"Oh, I'm sure they will. It will promote the school, so they really can't lose."

"Just... make sure to keep it clean. Don't wanna get expelled for this."

"When do I ever keep it clean?" Cas asked, a crooked smile on his face.Dean sighed. "Never." He gave Cas a quick kiss on the cheek.

After school, Cas met with the band at the underground and they got to work on the song. They definitely wanted a fast paced song that everyone could get into. Cas played a chord. "Da-da" pause "da-da" pause da-da pause da-da da-da da-da. "Wait, play that again." Adam said. Cas repeated what he just played. Jeff joined on drums, following Cas' lead.

Benny and Adam joined in seconds later. Cas changed to one strum. He looked at the band and smiled. "Sounds like we got ourselves a song boys. Remember what you just played. We need to record this." They all took turns laying down their parts. Cas listened to the music over and over, trying to find the words.

The next day he was leaning against his locker as Charlie dug through hers. He looked down the hall, finding Dean digging through his locker and talking to Cole. "Oh my God! That's it!" He looked at Charlie and took his ear bud out, handing it to her. He restarted the music, then skipped to where the chorus would be.

"Did you say please just follow me, I thought you wanted me cause I want you all to myself. I can try and suck it up I just keep fucking up. Make me feel like someone else." Charlie looked at him, handing him the ear bud. "Okay, this song is gonna be awesome!" Cas pulled out his notebook and started right. "And we have a song boys and girls!"

"Woo!" Charlie high-fived Cas. Dean walked up. "What's all the commotion?" "Oh, just finished the lyrics to the song." Cas smiled. "You're the inspiration. I saw you talking to Cole and thought back to when I would watch you froma far and the words just hit me." He showed Dean the notebook. "Babe this is amazing! You're too good at this."

"Well, you make a good muse." Cas pulled Dean in and kissed him. Carlie grabbed Cas by the collar. "Okay, okay... break it up. We all know what happens when you two suck face, and I don't think everyone else would enjoy that view."Cas sighed and rolled his eyes. "Spoil sport."

"So when do we start the video?" Dean asked. "Not yet. I want the weather to get warmer. By the way, you're trying out for soccer in the spring aren't you?" Dean nodded. "Yeah, why?"  

"Cause that's exactly what this video is going to be. Me watching you from a distance."

"The nerd chasing after the jock. I like!" Charlie smiled. "You just like how I look in athletic shorts."

"Please, spandex is way better." He gave Dean a quick kiss. "Gotta go. I have to go tell the principal and give him time to decide."

"Be nice!" Dean called out as Cas walked off. Cas put up a middle finger as he walked. Dean shook his head. "Typical." Dean turned and headed to class.

Cas drummed on the secretary's desk. "Mr Surley in?" The lady looked up at him. "Go on in." Cas spun around the desk and walked to the door and knocked. "Come in." He heard from the other side. He opened the door. "Castiel. Have a seat." He motioned to the chair in front of him. Cas sat down. "So I have a basic plan for my music video."

"Ah yes. Still want to get the students involved?" Cas nodded. Mr Surley leaned forward. "I'm listening." Cas explained what would be happening in the music video and the places it would be filmed. "I'll have to bring this up to the school board and send a letter to all the parents tomorrow. I'll let you know in a week or so if you have the green light."

"I don't understand. Why wouldn't we be able to film it?"

"We'll you're going to be chasing your boyfriend around school. Some people might bee uncomfortable with that."

"It's not like we're gonna have sex on camera or something. So you're saying if I was straight, you'd have no problem with this?"

"It don't have a problem with this. I think this will be good for the school to show some diversity."

"But people will be uncomfortable with it. That doesn't make sense."

Mr Surley sighed. "Regardless of content, all of the students here are minors, and that means parental consent is required anytime photography or video is used."

"Still, the double standard is applied here. Great." Cas leaned back in his seat.

Mr Surley leaned forward and looked Cas in the eye. "Mr Novak, while the school as a whole is accepting of all relationships and we love diversity among our students, there are still some parents that find relationships like yours and Dean's... unnerving..."

"So, once again, it's because we're gay. If it were a jock and a female cheerleader, it would be fine. It's not like doing this is going to bring the big gay bus into town."

"No, but seeing as you're friends with a celebrity and he will probably be promoting this video of yours, the town doesn't want to be in the spotlight for that reason. Your first music video didn't contain..."  

"Me watching a boy from a distance." Cas stood up. "This is such bullshit." He walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Cas sulked through his next few classes. He couldn't believe that after all he and Dean had been through he couldn't even make a stupid music video with him. He tapped his pencil on his desk and watched the clock tick down to final bell.

"Ummm.... did I just hear what I think I heard? They won't let you do it because you're gay?" Charlie stared at cas wide eyed. Cas paced the courtyard. "Well, because I'm gay and Dean's gay and were gay together and the video will be about me and him so.... that makes it a problem." 

"Okay, not cool."   

"Fuck this school. Always bashing on the gay kid!" He yelled the last part at the school. "Cas, calm down before you get suspended."

"Oh I'm sure that prick Surley would just love to do that."

Dean took Cas by the hand. "Let's go back to my place so you can cool off. We'll figure something out. "

"Not the point, Dean."

"Yeah, I get that. But we need a plan B just in case. Trust me." Cas sighed and rubbed his face. "Fine. But I'm not giving up on this thing until there is absolutely no other option." Cas pulled out his cigarettes and lit one right there in the courtyard. "Way to make a statement Cas." Charlie fanned the smoke.

"No, making a statement would be starting a hashtag on twitter." He looked up. "Uh oh. I can see the wheels turning in that genius head of his."  

"We start a hashtag! If the whole school gets in on it, including teachers, the school board and the parents will have to listen!" Dean stopped. "Are you even sure that the whole school even wants to participate? You'd need to take a poll and then decide."

"I...wouldn't mind running a poll." Charlie piped up. Cas looked at her. "Really? You'd do that?"

" Umm ya! Of course you dork."

"Besides, it's a freaking music video. Who doesn't want to be in a music video?" Cas stomped out his cigarette. "Well, that's what we're going to find out. I'll put the poll together tonight and have it ready for tomorrow. There aren't any rules against asking questions." Charlie walked off and headed home to get started. "See? It's all gonna work out." Dean smiled at Cas. "The school board better hope so." Cas said.    "The school board better hope so." Cas said.   

 

It only took a few days for parents to become outraged at the idea of the video. Even with the poll, parents started fighting the school about it and the topic was up for debate at the next school board meeting. Cas told Josh what was going on and Josh threatened to show up at the board meeting.   

Cas was getting quite a few looks around town now too. Parents of young kids would usher their child away from Cas like he was contagious. The whole situation was starting to get on his nerves. He was debating just scrapping the whole idea and just do something else. Cas flopped down on his bed face first and lay there.

_knock knock_

He sighed. "What?" The door opened. "Hey, sweetie. Something wrong?" Cas looked toward the door. "No, mom. Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Only that you walked in the house without a word and came straight up to your room. It's not your normal pattern."

"Well it could be the fact that my video got shut down because Dean and I are gay. And the video was gonna be me watching him from a distance blah blah blah." He put his face back in the pillow. "The school won't let me do it because people might get uncomfortable. And now people are looking at me like my gayness will rub off on them. Other than that, everything is great."

Naomi was silent. "Mom?" Cas sat up amd looked at her. If eyes could shoot lasers, she would have put a hole in the wall.  She turned and rushed out  of Cas' room. Cas jumped up, following her out to the stairs. "Uh, mom? What are you doing?"

She stopped at the bottom of the stairs. "No one discriminates against my son for any reason whatsoever. Ever. I'm going to fix this."

Cas nearly ran down the steps. "Umm mom that's not necessary, I don't need you fighting my battles for me. Really..." She already had her purse and keys and was slipping her shoes on. "This is done. Now. I'll be back soon." The door slammed behind Naomi. Cas just stood there, hands on the stair wall. "Fuck."

 

Naomi turned the key and picked up her phone."Hey, Mary. It's me..."

 

"Okay, I'll meet you there." Mary hung up the phone.   "Who was that?" Dean asked, finishing the dishes.   "Naomi. Why didn't you tell me you and Cas couldn't do your project because you're both gay?"  

"Uh..."  

"Dean this is serious. Being discriminated against is not okay."  

"Mom, it's not a big deal."

"Yes it is Dean. This is a huge deal. And Naomi and I are going to fix it."   

"Mom, we can just do something else. I mean, we have until May to finish itand it's only March."  

"Still. I won't let my son get told he can't do something just because he's gay. I'll be back soon." Dean watched as his mom walked out of the house. He heard her car pull away. He dialed Cas."

Hey, gorgeous."

"Hey yourself. So, team mom is on the loose."

"Seriously?!"

Dean sighed. "Yeah... they're going in guns blazing."

"Great. I knew my mom was gonna say something. I guess she called your mom. Do we go after them?"

"Nah. Just... come over and hang out til they get back. Maybe it will be better if we let them do their thing."

"Okay. See you in a bit."   He hung up and grabbed his keys and helmet off the coffee table and walked out the door, locking it behind him. He walked over to his motorcycle and got on. After starting it, he pushed off and darted out of the driveway.  

He killed the engine and walked the bike by the Impala. After putting it on the kickstand, he got off and walked up to the door, taking off his helmet before knocking. The door opened. "You don't have to knock you know."

"I thought you didn't like surprises in your backdoor." Dean narrowed his eyes at Cas, finally winking at him and moving so he could come inside. Cas put his helmet on the side table and threw himself into the recliner. "So, now what?"

"We wait I guess." Dean wedged himself next to Cas, who turned so that he was laying across Dean with his feet hanging over the arm of the chair. "This is way more complicated than it should have been."

"Yeah, well, moms do that. Their like lions or bears. Fuck with their young and the claws come out." Cas laughed. "I guess. This is the first problem like this my mom has delt with. And it happens to involve the whole city. I wouldn't be surprised if this made the news."

Dean poked at Cas' nose, to which Cas responded with a bitch face. "Probably. But now I know where you get your dramatic flare from." Cas rolled his eyes. "You have no idea." He smiled.

 

Two hours later, their moms walked in. Both boys jumped to their feet. "So that was fun. The school board called an emergency PTA meeting-"  

"Oh God."  

"And told them that it's unfair how you two have been treated." Naomi said. Mary continued. "We also said their kids should be so lucky to said that they are probably the reason their kids are intolerant and we as parents should lead by example. We also said their kids should be so lucky to know both of you amazing boys." Dean and Cas stared at Naomi and Mary.

"I don't know if I should be mad or go throw up."Cas climbed off of Dean's lap. "Well if you're gonna puke I'm gonna go sit over there." Cas turned to his mom. "So.... verdict?"

Both of them smiled. "Their letting you make the video." Naomi said.   

"Fuck yes! Oh my God!" Cas ran over to Naomi and wrapped her in a hug. "You guys are awesome!" He gave Mary a hug too. Dean did the same. "I have to tell Charlie and the guys!" He gave them another hug. "Thank you." Mary and Naomi smiled at the boys.

"That's why we're here. To kick ass and take names. Now go get yout project done."

"Yes!" Cas ran up to Dean's room and got Charlie on the line. Then he called Adam. Dean had made his way to his room and was standing in the doorway. "All good?"

Cas  smiled. "All great!"

They set a date to start filming. The principal sent home permission slips. There were only a few parents in each grade that were still against it and didn't sign. March turned to April. Dean tried out for the soccer team and naturally made the team.

Video Day as it was being called was fast approaching . The principal was letting the students out early that day and they were to go to the gym. Cas decided to use the English room as the setting for the first scene as well as the senior hallway and the soccer field and the bleachers.   The morning of Video Day, Cas got out of bed and grabbed a black button down, black ripped skinny dickies, and a red and black checkered tie. He got dressed and ran gel through his hair then ran his fingers back and forth through his hair, giving it a messy look.   

He grabbed everything he would need and headed to school with Dean. Cas drummed on his thigh as they drive to school. Dean eyed him.

"Nervous much?"

"Maybe a little. But I'll be okay once we start."

"I know you will. Like always."

They pulled into the school parking lot and headed into the building. The school was buzzing with excitement. "Okay, so we're gonna film throughout the day then Mr Surley will excuse everything fifteen minutes early so you can give the school a little concert. I'll film that too. This is gonna be so awesome!" Charlie said. Cas smiled. "Hell yeah it is!"

The video started in the classroom. The shot went to Cas, then to Dean's back then back to Cas.

**I don't patronize,**

**I realize**

**I'm losing and this is my real life.**

He tapped his pencil on his desk then flicked his eyes back to Dean

**I am half asleep, and I am wide awake.**

**This habit is always so hard to break.**

Everyone filtered in to the hall. Cas peeked his head out. The shot went to Dean then to Cas stepping out into the hall.

**I don't want to be the bad guy,**

**I've been blaming myself and I think you know why.**

**I'm killing time, and time's killing you**

**Every way that I do.**

Dean started walking down the hall. Cas kept his distance and followed, pushing off the lockers and bumping into people.

**Did you say "please just follow me?"**

**I thought you wanted me.**

**Cause I want you all to myself.**

**I can try to suck it up,**

**I just can't suck it up.**

**Make me feel like some one else**

The shot went to Cas sitting in the bleachers watching Dean at soccer practice.

**Please just follow me.**

**I thought you wanted me.**

**Cause I want you all to myself.**

**I can try to suck it up,**

**I just can't suck it up.**

**Make me feel like some one else**

The shot went back to the hallway. Cas was leaning against the lockers, watching as Dean passed. He pushed himself off the lockers and followed. Dean walked into a class and Cas stopped then kept walking.

**I'm under the gun, you're like the only one.**

**I just can't decide what I'm running from.**

**This isn't what I wanted, but**

**I can't keep my filthy fucking mouth shut.**

**It's not enough, it's never enough.**

**I wish I could breathe without getting it stuck.**

**Can't focus it, but I try it over and over again.**

The shot went back to the bleachers and Cas was surrounded by people. Everyone jumped up and someone spilled their popcorn on him.

**Did you say "please just follow me?"**

**I thought you wanted me cause**

**I want you all to myself.**

**I try and suck it up,**

**I just can't suck it up**

**make me feel like someone else.**

The shot went to everyone in the gym, holding up signs and cheering.

**Na na, na na, na.**

**Na na, na na, na na.**

**Na na, na na, na.**

**Na na, na na, na na.**

The shot went to an extreme close up of Cas' face. His blue eyes looking at the camera.

**Please just follow me?**

**I thought you wanted me,**

**Cause I want you all to myself.**

**I can try and suck it up,**

**I just can't suck it up.**

**Make me feel like...**

Then a wide shot of the band playing.Did you say

**"Please just follow me"?**

**I thought you wanted me,**

**Cause I can't stay with someone else,**

**I'll try and suck it up,**

**I just can't fuck it up,I**

**want you all to myself.**

**Did you say "Please just follow me"?**

**I thought you wanted me,**

**Cause I want you all to myself.**

**I can try and suck it up,**

**I just can't suck it up.**

**Make me feel like someone else.**

Dean and Cas' eyes met and Dean walked up to him and kissed him.

**Na na, na na, na**

Cas looked at the camera, put his tongue between his teeth and wagged his eyebrows. Then put his arm around Dean and they walked out of the frame. Charlie put her camera down. "That's a wrap, folks!"

The students cheered and whsitled. The high fived Cas as they left the gym. "I can't wait to see it finished!" Cas turned to the band. "We fucking did it!" The guys high fived and hugged it out. "I'll have this done in no time. I'll call ya when it's ready." Charlie packed up and headed out.

They walked out to the parking lot. "Next stop, graduation. Can you believe high school is almost over?" Dean hopped on the hood of the Impala and sat don front of him and put his arms on Cas' shoulders and kissed him. "Have you picked a college yet?"   

"I've narrowed it down. I'm supposed to go to a choosing ceremony thing after graduation."

"Any favorites?"

"Texas Longhorns are definitely in the running. So is UCLA."

"Dean. You should go wherever you want. You don't have to go to UCLA just because I'll be in LA." Dean laughed. "I've been waiting to stare at that ass all day." He smiled. He snaked his hands down to Cas' waist. Cas smiled. "Well then take me home babe." Dean slid off the hood of the car and stepped to the driver's side door, never breaking eye contact.

Cas watched him. Before climbing in, Dean winked at Cas. "Well, hot damn boy. Drive!" Cas jumped into the passenger seat. Dean threw the car into drive and headed toward his house. Charlie and Cas sat on the back porch of his house.

"Sooo, prom is coming..."

Cas looked at Charlie. "So it is."

"You gonna ask him?"

Cas sighed. "I... I want to. I'm just... nervous... for some reason."

"Aw, that's because you've never had a relationship like this before. Your first love. So cute!" Cas threw a marshmallow at her. "Shut up. You asking Meg?"  "

Already did. You better jump on it. Prom is in a week."

Cas sighed. "I know I know. But how do I ask him?"  

"What if you make a game out of it?"  

"Huh. Like a scavenger hunt..."  

"And the prize is you asking him to prom!"  

"Not a bad idea Red."

"Well, duh. I came up with it."Cas smiled. "I got it! You're helping. Come to my lair. We have work to do."

"You gonna clue me in, boss?"

"All of the places of significance in our relationship. Leading back here." Cas looked up. "I hope he says yes."

Charlie thumped him on the head. "Of course he will! Have you seen the way henlooks at you? The boy is loves you."

"God, I need a life. Listen to me 'oh I hope he says yes!' I sound like a damn girl."

 "Hey!"  

They got into his room and Charlie hopped on the bed. "Okay. What are the significant places of your relationship?"  

"Well, there's where we first actually met which was the auditorium."  

"Okay. What about yourfirst date?"  "Suicide Drop."  

"Really? Okay then. First kiss?"  "The underground after the show he went to before the first date."  

"Wow. Back asswardsthere aren't you? Okay, what about the first time you said I love you?"  

"In the park after I got shot."

Charlie looked at him. "You two are so adorably dysfunctional sometimes."

"Yeah, but it works for us. He means everything to me. If it weren't for him, I'd probably be dead." Charlie smiled and got out some paper. "Let's get to writing these! It's so fucking adorable I might barf."

"Gee thanks." Cas nudged her.   

About an hour later, they had it all planned out. Dean would show up at each location and get a hint to the next location ending up at the park were Cas would ask him to prom. He gave Charlie the handwritten hints and told her to go to school and make up an excuse to get Dean there and record all of it. Charlie put the notes in her bag. "Alright. I'm on it. What are you going to do in the meantime?"

"I'm gonna make myself look totally amazing. It doesn't take much work. I'm already pretty amazing." Charlie arrived in the auditorium.

She called Dean. "Hey, Charlie. What's up?"

"Oh, not much. Just wondered if I could get your opinion on something?"

"Sure. Ask away."

"Well, I need your eyes for this one. I've got a new project I'm working on and I thought you'd be the perfect person to ask."

"Uhhh sure. Where are you?"

"The auditorium at school."

"Okay. See you in a few."

"Sweet!" She hung up the phone and squeeled.

Dean got out of the Impala and walked into the school. He walked to the auditorium and opened the door. "Charlie?"

Charlie walked out on stage holding a camera. "Come here real quick."   

Dean walked to the stage and Charlie handed him a folded piece of paper. "Open it and read it out loud."  

Dean sighed and unfolded the paper. He looked down and noticed it was in Cas' handwriting.   

"Hey Dean, let's play a game. Come find me. Right now, you are standing we first met. Where was our first date?"   

Dean looked up at Charlie. "Okay, guess we're going for a ride Ms film everything."  When they got to suicide drop, Charlie handed him another piece of paper. Dean read out loud.  

"Good job Winchester you're one step closer to finding me. Your next hint is where we first kissed." Dean looked up and smiled. "Won't ever forget that. The Underground." Charlie beamed. "Well let's go, stud!" They got back in the car and drove on.

When they arrived at the Underground, Charlie handed Dean yet another piece of paper. He looked at Charlie. "Take the damn note, Dean!" Dean took it from Charlie with a crooked smile on his face. He read what Cas had written on it.

"Well, look at you, football star. Guess you're more than just a spandex-clad ass. Next clue is (drumroll) where did we first tell each other "I love you?" Dean looked up. "Yeah, that memory is permanently etched in my brain as Cas was practically bleeding to death in my arms. Off to the park!"  

Dean got out and walked over to the gazebo to see Cas standing there smiling. He was also holding something. It was a sign. In huge letters it said 'prom' with a question mark.

Dean's smile grew as he walked up to Cas. "Of course I'll go to prom with you." He kissed Cas.   Cas pulled him closer and deepened the kiss before pulling away. Both boys were smiling. "Like my little game?"

"Loved it."

Fake vomiting sounds came from behind them.

"Can it, Charlie."

"It's so disgusting!"

Cas flipped her off with a smile. Dean put a finger under Cas' chin, tipping his head up slightly. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Prom night was upon them. Cas was literally throwing his clothes all over the room trying to find the right outfit. "Whoa. Hurricane Cas, calm down."  

"I can't mom. Prom is in two fucking hours, I can't find a good outfit and I think I'm having a panic attack because I'm an idiot and I don't do dances. I play music. It's what I'm good at." He threw a shirt across the room. Naomi laughed. "Let me tell you a little secret baby boy, Dean doesn't care if you can't dance. He just want to share this special night with you."

Cas poked his head out of the closet. "Not helping. Wanna help? Get me a paper bag and pick a damn shirt!" Naomi shook her head and laughed. "Fine, fine. I'll pick a damn shirt." She rifled through a few before pulling one out."You haven't worn this one much, if at all."

"What? Lemme see..." She held up a royal blue satin button down with black buttons. "You're right. I haven't worn this one.""Maybe tonight's the night. Try it on. I expect a runway walk downstairs in ten."

 

"Let's go, Castiel!"

"Jeez, fine..."

Cas stepped gingerly out of his room and made his way to the stairs. Naomi smiled."Castiel James Novak. You clean up alright." He was wearing the blue button down with the black buttons, with a  black vest and tailored black dress pants. He even had on formal shoes. He has thrown some gel in his hair and gave it a messy look.

"I look weird." He said as he met his mom at the bottom of the stairs. "You look amazing." She kissed her son on the forehead. "Dean will be here soon." Cas exhaled. The doorbell rang.

"Oh, fuck."

"Calm down, son. It's just Dean." She opened the door. "Oh! Wait! Don't answer yet!" He ran back up the stairs. "You have to answer it like those stupid movies on tv!" He yelled down to her. She shut the door. "What?!"

"You know like 'oh Dean! Glad you could make Cas should be right down.' Then walk to the stairs and yell for me!"

"Oh dear God, Cas. Fine. Go upstairs."

Naomi waited a few seconds until she heard Cas' door shut. She opened the door and smiled at Dean.

"Hello, dear."

"Hi, Naomi."

She stepped aside and let Dean in and took a deep breath. In a sarcastic voice she spoke. "Dean! It's so nice to see you. Castiel will be right down." Dean looked at her, confused. Naomi rolled her eyes and smiled. Dean shook his head. He and Naomi heard a door open upstairs.

Cas put his hand on the railing and made his way (very slowly) down the stairs. He could see his mom trying not to laugh at his over dramatic entrance. He just made it to the bottom step when he tripped over his shoe and fell into Dean.

Naomi lost it. She was doubled over in laughter. "Well that went like planned." Cas fixed his shirt and tie. Next to him, Dean was laughing too.  

"It's really not funny. I don't wear dress shoes." Dean kept laughing. "No it's really very funny.""Yeah, yeah. Let's go." Cas took Dean's hand and led him out the door. "Bye mom."

"Bye, dear!" She was still laughing. The boys made their way to the steps. Cas almost tripped again. "You got this?"

"Fuck you. Let's just get to the car." Dean was still laughing when they got in the car. "Know what Winchester? Sit and spin. I'm only wearing these stupid shoes because of you so I don't look like a retard." Cas sat back in the seat and buckled his seat belt. "That and I left my converse in Charlie's car the other day."

Dean leaned over and kissed Cas. "You look amazing. Really. And don't lie. If you didn't want to wear the shoes, you would have got your Converse." Dean eyed Cas. Cas rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Just... just drive." Cas looked over at Dean and stifled a moan. Dean was wearing a dark grey button down that was tighter fit than his normal shirts, so you could see his muscular figure underneath. He had to have done that on purpose, Cas thought.

They finally arrived at the venue for the prom and got out of the car. Cas whistled as he saw Dean from behind. He had different pants on, too. Black, slim fit slacks and black shoes. They showed off his ass. Dean turned around.

"You approve?"

"Fuck yeah, I approve." Cas linked arms with Dean. "Can't wait to peel those off you later." They walked inside and met up with Charlie, Meg, and the band. "I wonder who's supposed to be performing." Charlie said.

"Not me. Not in these shoes. I already tripped twice. Not looking for a third."  

 "Why didn't you just call me and tell me to bring your shoes over?"   

"Shut up."  

 "You guys should totally play a few songs!" Meg said. "Everyone wants to hear you."

Cas sighed. "We don't even have our stuff here..." Dean shrugged. "After party in the auditorium? Just a few songs?" Cas perked up. "Let me make a few calls."

When he got back to the ballroom, a slow song had started. He recognized it immediately, Everything I Do by Brian Adams. Cas watched everyone when suddenly a hand took his. He looked up to see Dean beaming at him.Dean pulled him out to the dance floor and brought Cas in close, with his hands on Cas' hips. Cas put his arms around Dean's neck. "I don't know what I'm doing."

"It's okay. You're doing fine." Dean pulled Cas a little closer, letting Cas rest his head on Dean's chest. "See, you can slow dance."

"You're basically holding me so I don't trip over my shoes." He felt Dean kiss his head and smiled. "See? No response. That's because it's true." Cas lowered his arms and wrapped them around Dean's waist.

_Everything I do, I do it for youThere is no love like your love..._

Cas looked up at Dean, straightening himself out. He tipped his head up slightly and took over Dean's mouth in a slow, deep kiss. He opened his eyes in time to see Dean's eyelids flutter. Cas brought his hips in to Dean's and noticed that Dean had an erection. A sly grin crossed Cas' face. He whispered to Dean. "You know, this is a hotel."

"We'd be in so much trouble if we got caught..."

"And since when does that stop us?"

When the song ended and everyone started dancing again, Cas grabbed Dean's hand and pulled him out of the ballroom.

The two snuck to an elevator and hit the button for the 4th floor.The elevator had barely closed when Dean shoved Cas against the opposite wall, claiming his mouth furiously. He pulled back and fixed his shirt as the elevator signaled their arrival on the fourth floor.

They walked quickly and quietly, looking for a vacant room. It didn't take long. They picked one at a quiet end of the hall, ducking in a closing the door. Cas backed Dean up to the door as it shut behind them, making fast work of the buttons as his tongue invaded Dean's mouth.

Dean moaned as Cas pressed his hips against him. Cas pulled Dean's button up off his arms and went to work on his pants, letting them fall to his ankles. Dean kick them aside and walked Cas back to the bed, lowering him, never breaking the kiss. Dean spoke against Cas' lips. "We have to be quick."

"Oh I can be quick." Cas smiled. Cas undid his own pants and kicked them off, along with his shoes and boxers. He climbed on top of Dean. Using the fluid that was leaking from the tip, Cas lubed himself up, as well as Dean's entrance. He began to slowly push in. Dean's eyes slipped closed and he bit his lip.

Cas pushed the rest of the way in slowly, taking time only to find the sweet spot. He thrust inside and pushed on the bundle of nerves. Dean cried out, grabbing a fist full of sheets. Cas moved his hips faster, hitting Dean's prostate every time. He took Dean in his hand and stroked, matching his rhythm. Dean was writhing beneath Cas. "Oh my God, Cas..."

"You like?"

"Mmm..."

"Okay, then." Cas pulled out almost all the way and rammed back in, hitting that cluster of nerves at full force. "Fuck Cas!"  

"That's the plan."   

He thrust in a few times then moved his hips faster. Dean was an absolute wreck under him.   

"God Cas...gonna come..." Cas moved his hand to Dean's tip and stroked it. Dean's breath was erratic. Cas squeezed Dean's dick just a little then stroked down the shaft as he hit Dean's prostate. Dean came undone. His back arched off the bed and he cried out as he came.

The sight of him sent Cas over the edge. He pushed in a few more times, Dean's name pushed passed his lips as he climaxed. Cas pulled out and collapsed next to Dean for a moment before getting some tissues from the bathroom.

He wiped off himself and then Dean. Finally, Dean sat up. He walked over to Cas and kissed him. "I love you."

"I love you too, babe. Now put your pants back on." They walked back into the ballroom. Charlie saw them and rolled her eyes. "Not even here for an hour." She shook her head and smiled. Cas shrugged. "Aren't you supposed to have sex on prom night?"

"Yeah, but typically you wait until after."

"Since when is either of us typical?"

"Good point." Charlie said taking a drink of her punch. "And nobody even spiked the punch."   

Cas pulled a flask out of his pocket. "That can change real fast."

"Oh no. No Cas. If you get caught-" Dean started.  

"That's why you'll be distracting Mr Surley."

"This is a bad idea."

"But coming from a genius, it's a good idea."

"Then put that brain to work Novak. Let's make this a party."

Cas looked over at Mr Surley. "I have an idea."

Dean and Charlie acted like they were play fighting and Dean bumped into Mr Surley, spilling his punch on him. Dean turned around and grabbed a bunch of napkins. Cas walked over to the punch bowl and emptied the flask. Cas and Dean locked eyes. Cas winked at him and walked away. "I'm really sorry Mr Surley." Dean said as he pulled Charlie away.

"And that is how it's done boys and girls."

"What did you put in there?" Cas looked at Dean. "Vodka, of course!" The night went on. Cas, Dean, Charlie, and Meg laughed as the students drank the punch and got buzzed.

 

Cas and Dean were sitting at one of the tables. "Can we leave yet?" Cas just wanted to get to the after party and play some music. Dean checked his phone for the time. "Yeah, sure. Let's get out of here. After Prom is gonna be in the high school gym. Charlie has already passed on the word that you guys are gonna play."

 

Cas and the band set up for the concert. Most of the kids from prom were attending. He had just finished setting up his mic stand when the kids filtered in. He took off his vest and his blue button up to reveal a white tank top underneath. He changed out of his dress pants and shoes into his favorite pair of black worn skinny jeans with a hole at the left knee and his converse.   

"Okay, so we're gonna play the songs you heard so far and one you haven't. The first song is Stutter." Cas pulled his guitar on. He and the band started clapping, and their classmates followed along.

_Oh-oh-oh-oh bring me back to life......._

Cas grabbed his guitar and started to play, dancing around and interacting with the guys.

_"I just Stutter Di-di-di-di-di-did I?"_

Cas jumped on beat, already a giant ball of energy. His classmates fed off it and started dancing around.

**_Sunshine_ **

**_Blinds you if you stare but,_ **

**_Now I see, yeah (crystal), crystal clear._ **

**_So here I am,_ **

**_You can take or leave me._ **

**_But I won't ever be anywhere but here._ **

**_Sing it back._ **

Adam joined  Cas on his mic.

_**Oh-oh, (yeah) Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh** _

_**Sing it back to me.** _

_**Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh-oh-oh** _

_**And I'm begging you** _

Cas spun his guitar around his body.

_**Bring me back to life,** _

_**I just can't stand leaving you alone tonight.** _

_**It's too late to go,** _

_**Already taken me forever just to try to know.** _

_**One for the money, two for the show,** _

_**Three to get ready, and four to go.** _

_**For the life of me,** _

_**I don't know why it took me so long to see.** _

_**I just** _

_**Stutter, Stutter, Stutter,** _

_**Di-di-di-di-di-did I?** _

_**Stutter, Stutter, Stutter,** _

_**Di-di-di-di-di-di-did I?** _

_**Stutter, Stutter, Stutter,** _

_**Di-di-di-di-di-did I?** _

_**Stutter, Stutter, Stutter,** _

_**Di-di-di-di-di-di-did I?** _

_**Oh, na na na,** _

_**Stutter.** _

_**Oh, na na na,** _

_**Did I?** _

_**Oh, na na na, (Yeah)** _

_**Oh, na na na,** _

_**Di-di-di-di-did I?** _

_**Oh, na na na,** _

_**Di-di-di-di-did I?** _

_**Oh, na na na,** _

_**Di-di-di-di** _

_**Oh, na na na,** _

_**Di-di-di-di** _

_**Oh, na na na,** _

_**Di-di-di-di-** _

_**Oh, na na na,** _

_**Di-di-di-di-did I?** _

_**Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh** _

_**And you been singing,** _

_**Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh-oh-oh** _

_**Hey,** _

Cas and the guys went all out, jumping around the stage. He and Adam played back to back.

_**Bring me back to life,** _

_**I just can't stand leaving you alone tonight.** _

_**It's too late to go,** _

_**Already taken me forever just to try to know.** _

_**One for the money, two for the show,** _

_**Three to get ready, and four to go.** _

_**For the life of me,** _

_**I don't know why it took me so long to see.** _

_**I just** _

_**Stutter, Stutter, Stutter,** _

_**Di-di-di-di-di-did I?** _

_**Stutter, Stutter, Stutter,** _

_**Di-di-di-di-di-di-did I?** _

_**Stutter, Stutter, Stutter,** _

_**Di-di-di-di-di-did I?** _

_**Stutter, Stutter, Stutter,** _

_**Di-di-di-di-di-di-did I?** _

The song ended and they went right into the next one. They played Desperate Measures, Lover Dearest, Ever After, and All To Myself. Cas was out of breath and sweating because he was jumping up and down and dancing pretty much the whole time.

"Okay, here's one you don't know. This song is called Perfect."

_**Please sing to me,** _

_**I can see you open up to breathe.** _

_**Fast words make it easier on me,** _

_**If the point is to never disappoint you,** _

_**Somebody's got to tell me what to do.** _

_**Just wish you could've seen me** _

_**When it used to come so easy.** _

_**I like to say it's easy to stay** _

_**But it's not for me,** _

_**Cause I'm barely here at all.** _

_**Slow down now, the secrets out.** _

_**And I swear now everything is perfect.** _

_**What you want, what you need has been killing me.** _

_**Try to be everything that you want me to be.** _

_**I say yes,** _

_**I'll undress,** _

_**I've done more for less.** _

_**Now I'll change everything until it's perfect again.** _

_**Coming down, coming around,** _

_**Giving a frown to the sound when I hit ground.** _

_**I hate the way that I say I should say** _

_**When I know that I don't give a fuck about it anyway.** _

_**Shake hands, and shoot smiles all around,** _

_**As I sell my body by the pound**_.

_**Sign my name on the dotted line,** _

_**It would be fate, to not resuscitate.** _

_**Slow down now, the secrets out.** _

_**And I swear now I'll still make this perfect.** _

_**What you want, what you need has been killing me.** _

_**Try to be everything that you want me to be.** _

_**I say yes,** _

_**I'll undress,** _

_**I'll do more for less.** _

_**Now I'll change everything till it's perfect again.** _

_**I think it's better this way,** _

_**This is good in a bad way.** _

_**It's better this way.** _

_**I'll make this perfect again.** _

_**I'll make this perfect again.** _

_**What you want, what you need has been killing me.** _

_**And I will change everything you want me to be.** _

_**I say yes,** _

_**I'll undress,** _

_**I'll do more for less.** _

_**Now I'll change everything, whoa yeah.** _

_**What you want, what you need has been killing me.** _

_**(I'll make this perfect again.)** _

_**Try to be everything that you want me to be.** _

_**I say yes,** _

_**I'll undress,** _

_**I'll do more for less.** _

_**Now I'll change everything,** _

_**I'll make this perfect again** _

As the song ended, Cas threw his hands in the air.

"You bitches are awesome. Thank you and goodnight!" He trotted to the back of the stage and into the curtain legs. He saw Charlie with her laptop, cords coming out of it into the ports in the stage. "You recorded it?"

"Ummm yeah!"

"Nice."

Cas high-fived her. "Looks like you pretty much have your first album."

"Well, we'll still record them again because obviously they'll have better recording shit in LA."

"Do you have a studio lined up?"

"Not yet. We're going out there like a week after graduation so they can hear the new demo. Then if they like us, we get a contract." Charlie hugged him. "I'm so proud of you, Cas. You guys deserve this." Dean walked up as Charlie and Cas were hugging. "It's a good thing I know you prefer dick or I'd be worried." Cas flipped a middle finger at Dean, followed with a huge smile.

"Tonight was amazing, babe!"

"Best prom ever." Dean smiled. "By the way, you should wear a tank top more often." Cas smiled and shook his head.   "You know what you should do? Make like a video diary for the fans. Life in the studio, life on tour, stuff like that." Charlie suggested.  

 "Huh. Not a bad idea. Put it on YouTube, gain more fans..."

"That's the idea. Well, bitches, I'm out. Gonna go walk Meg to her car. Later." Charlie winked at Cas and Dean before walking off. Cas held Dean's hand. "You know, for not liking dances and shit, I had a great night. Mostly because I was here with you."

"Aww you're such a kiss ass.” Cas helped the band load up the equipment. He said goodbye to them as they left.

Finally, he and Dean made their way to the Impala. As Cas closed the door and sat down in the passenger seat, he let out a sigh."What's wrong, babe?" Cas  looked at Dean. "I only have a couple more weeks of you before everything changes. I'm not looking forward to it."

"Cas..."  

"I mean, I've kind of been trying to avoid the reality of it but in a few week, you're going to college and I'm going to LA. What if we just, Idon't know, drift apart?"  

Dean stopped him. "Cas listen. I love you. We won't drift apart okay?"  

"You don't know that." Dean pulled the car over, leaning over and looking Cas in the eye. "I do know that. I know that I love you, more than anything, and that nothing is going to change how I feel. Ever. We'll make it work."

He closed the gap and kissed Cas, caressing Cas' face with his hand. They put their foreheads together. "I love you, Dean. I don't want to drift apart."

A tear found it's way out of Cas' eyes. He cursed himself internally for showing this side of himself. Dean just wiped the tears with his thumbs and kissed Cas again.

"We won't."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how did you like Cas' project & promposal? Not to mention prom. Leave a comment!


	11. Graduation Highs and Lows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay everyone, I have been super busy but here is chapter 11!! 
> 
> ENJOY!!!

Graduation was closing in at an alarming rate. Cas had ordered his class ring (and one for Dean to wear around his neck) as well as his yearbook weeks ago. Everything was handed out during lunch the day of graduation. It seemed the seniors were either extremely happy or extremely sad. The whole day was bittersweet for all of them. 

Cas was sitting on the floor in front of his locker playing with his class ring. He looked down the hallway. A group of girls were hugging and crying. "Oh please. You'll probably never speak to each other after a few months." He said to himself. He looked back at his ring. "You look like someone peed in your Cheerios." Charlie sat next to him. Cas let his head fall back to his locker. "It's just weird. This year went by so fast. Hell these last two weeks went by fast."

"It happens. It will be weird not being in school. Well, for you."

"So you're going to college too?"

"In Kansas City. What about Dean? Has he said where he's going yet?"

"No. He has some ceremony to go to tomorrow where he'll announce to the world where he'll go."  
Cas stared at the ceiling. "Hey, buddy. What's wrong? You look like you're dog died."

"I'm worried." Charlie stared at him. "About...."

"Me and Dean." Charlie sighed and looked at Cas. "He's cuckoo bananas for you, dude. Seriously. I wouldn't worry if I were you." He looked at her. "I'm sure there will be someone who's not as fucked up as I am wherever the hell he's going."

Charlie punched Cas in the shoulder. "Are fucking serious right now?" Cas looked at her, shocked that she just punched him. "Yeah. I am. I'm a mess. He deserves better." Charlie punched him again. 

"Ow, jeez, what the fu..."

"That jock loves you. You nearly bled out in his arms, he rescued you from getting high on heroin in the bathroom, he helped you deal with your messed up foster parents, and he was waiting for you when you got out of rehab. Castiel, you're a fucking idiot if you think that Dean Winchester is going to leave you for some jock priss."

"Yeah, but..."

"No. No buts. Don't you back out of this because you're scared. You will never find someone like Dean ever again. He's in it for the long haul."

"And you know this because..."

Charlie shrugged. "We talk."

Cas looked at Charlie. He was broken. Charlie had seen him through a lot and knew what he looked like when he was about to run."Don't do it, Cas. He loves you. And I know you love him."

"You talk. What do you talk about?"

Charlie grinned. "Just, please. Trust me. It's all fine."

"Yeah. Sure." He put his ring in his pocket and stood up. "I gotta go. I'm helping with the whole graduation set up. See you later." He put his messengerbag on his shoulder and walked away.

♡♡♡♡♡

Dean walked out of the store. He checked his phone. There was only a couple of hours until graduation. Somehow, he had convinced his coach to let him leave early. He made his way to the lockers and changed into his black slacks and grey dress shirt. He put on his dress shoes and put his regular clothes into his duffel bag.

He pulled out a small wrapped box and put in his pants pocket. With a deep breath, he headed to the auditorium. Cas was standing on the stage. "Knew I'd find you in here." Cas turned to see Dean walking up to the stage. He climbed up.

Cas put his arm around Dean and kissed him. "I can't believe it's here."

"I know, right? Crazy. Hey, uh... come here." Dean had walked to the very center of the stage."Oooookay." Cas made his way to Dean. Dean looked at Cas and smiled. "I'm not really good at this romantic stuff so... here." He handed Cas the wrapped box. Cas smiled. "You didn't have to get me anything."

"But I wanted to. Open it already!"

"Fine, fine!" Cas carefully tore the paper back and opened the box. His eyes lit up. A shiny gold band with two gemstones set in it looked up at him. "Dean, what...?"Dean licked his lips. "It's a promise ring. Because I promise to never leave you. Ever."

"Dean...I don't know what to say...it's beautiful." He slipped the ring on to his finger. "I have something for you too." He pulled out the extra class ring. It was on a silver chain. "Kinda cheesy but I ordered an extra one to give to you." After a few minutes, Cas spoke. "Where did you decide?"

"Texas."Cas snuggled in deeper on Dean's chest. "It's not that long of a flight..."

"Nope. Like, an hour or so."

"Okay, unfortunately I have to go get ready. My mom will kick my ass if she doesn't get pictures before graduation." He gave Dean a quick kiss. "See you in a bit." He got up and grabbed his helmet from the end of the stage. 

He walked to his bike and put the key in the ignition and started it. He put it in gear and hit the throttle, tearing out of the parking lot. He didn't go home. He went straight to Suicide Drop. His mind was racing. Sure everything was great now, but what if it all just came crashing down? What then?   

It may be a sin to kill a Mockingbird, but even Mockingbirds get broken wings. He put the bike on it's kickstand and took off his helmet, throwing it to the ground. He walked up the dirt path and right to the cliff. He sat on the edge and looked at the gold promise ring on his finger. How could Dean even want to stay with someone so fucked up? 

He stared at the sky. He hadn't felt this much pain in his life. His brain said "run, Castiel" but his heart, his gut, said stay. He looked at the ring again and smiled a little. "Dean wouldn't have bought this thing if he didn't care," he said out loud to himself. Charlie was right. Dean stayed through the drugs, near death, and more. And today he gave him a ring. Cas fell onto his back and stared.

He put his arm over his face and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. Everything would be fine right? Dean wouldn't have done any of that if he didn't love him.

 "Come on Cas, calm down before you have a panic attack." His phone buzzed. It was a text from Dean.

"Get your sweet ass back here."

He texted back. "Be there soon :)" 

 Cas stood up and hopped back on his bike, stopped at home to change quickly, and then headed toward school. He'd spent a long time watching Dean from a distance, and now that hw had him, he decided that letting go wasn't an option.

He made it just in time. "Jeez where the hell have you been? Late to everything!" Charlie shoved his cap and gown in his arms. "Yeah, yeah, blow me Red." He put the gown on. "Wait a minute Cas, aren't you valedictorian?"   Cas looked at her. "Fuck! I forgot to write a speech!" 

"Seriously?!" Charlie stared at Cas. "Good thing I excel in pulling things out of my ass." Charlie made a face at him. "Shut up. You know what I mean." 

He looked around. "Where the hell is that stupid sash thing that I'm supposed to put over this fucking thing?" Charlie found it and handed it to him. "You're such an idiot."  Cas smiled. "Don't be jealous that I got valedictorian and you didn't." 

"I'm like, right behind you."

"About twelve people back, actually. But hey, who's counting?" Cas grinned at her. "Whoa. Hold the phone." She grabbed Cas' hand. "Nice bling."

"Thanks. It's a promise ring from Dean." Cas smiled at her. "Told you. He's over the moon for you. Now let's get a move on. You have to make that speech."

"Fuck my life. The one time I wish I wasn't a genius." They took their seats. Mr Surley introduced Cas on stage. He walked up and stood behind the podium. 

"So I was supposed to write a speech, but that's to mainstream." A few people laughed. "This school year definitely has been simultaneously the worst and best year of my life. I got away from abusive foster parents, I was reunited with my mom, I went to rehab, got shot, and became an overnight celebrity. Through all of this, my friends stayed by my side. But out off all of it, one person showed me that I'm not some screwed up kid. Most of the time I have no idea why he hasn't run away screaming. And I know no matter what, he'll be there." 

He took a breath. "We may be done with high school and moving on to bigger and better things, but that doesn't mean we should forget about this place. Even if it's just the small things like having a light saber battle in the auditorium or having a smallfood fight with your friends. Never forget what happened here because it's where we come from. It's what made us who we are." 

Cas stepped back from the podium and the students and parents erupted into applause. He smilednat everyone and then found his seat again.Mr Surley took the stage once more. Calling out names in alphabetical order. "Charlie Bradbury."   Charlie got up and went to the stage. Cas, Dean, and Meg cheered for her as she received her diploma. A picture of Charlie as a kid appeared on the screen behind the stage. Then a picture of her now, sitting in front of her computer. Smiling at the camera. A few other kid's were called.  

"Castiel Novak."  A picture of Cas when he was eight came up on the screen. Smiling a toothless grin at the camera. He got up and walked to the stage. The picture changed to him on stage in the gym during the music video. Playing his guitar and singing into the mic. He took his diploma. "Congratulations Castiel." He shook Cas' hand. "Thank you sir." He moved the tassel from one side to the other and joined his classmates. Several other names were called.

"Dean Winchester." Their classmates cheered and clapped as Dean went uo to the stage. A picture of a five year old Dean holding a football was on the screen, which changed to a picture of him walking off the field with his helmet in his hand. Smiling his famous, million dollar smile.

Cas whistled."Congratulations, Mr Winchester." Mr Surley shook Dean's hand. Dean flipped his tassel to the side and walked back to his seat. The rest of the students were called.  

 "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you this year's graduating class."   

The seniors jumped to their feet and threw their caps in the air. Cas pulled Dean close and kissed him as the caps came raining down. Dean pulled back and hugged Cas tight. Cas hugged him back."I'm never letting you go, Castiel. I love you."

"Well good, because I'm never letting you go, either. I love you too. "They kissed again and then joined the rest of the class as they filed into the courtyard to meet their families. Both of their moms were crying like babies. Naomi wrapped Cas in a tight hug. "I'm so proud of you Castiel James." 

  "Thanks mom."

  She pulled away. "Okay, I want to take pictures of you and your friends." Cas, Charlie, Meg, and Dean all stood next to each other. Meg was next to Charlie. Dean was next to Cas. The moms took pictures. Charlie and Meg went to go find their parents.  

 "Okay, now one of you two." Mary said. Cas pulled Dean close then at the last second, turned Dean's head and kissed him. The kiss lasted longer than it should have. Cas pulled away and looked at Mary. "Put that one on your mantle." He smiled.Mary beamed. "Had already planned on it!"

Naomi and Mary continued to take candid pictures of the friends, especially when they weren't looking. Charlie managed to record Cas and Dean while they were making out behind some trees. Cas flipped her off and Dean winked at the camera, moving in between Charlie and Cas so she couldn't see anything. They all goofed around a little longer. After a while, the people started to clear out and head home. 

Soon, it was Dean and Cas left. They went over to their tree in the courtyard.Dean sat in the grass, Cas sat on his lap so that he was facing Dean and layed his head on his chest."Your speech was amazing by the way." Dean said in to his hair. Cas smiled. "Not bad for making it up on the spot. Still, I meant every word. High schoolmay have sucked most of the time for me, but I'll never forget it." Dean kissed Cas on the forehead. "When do you leave for LA?" 

"A few weeks. We have to rerecord our demo and send it in. If all goes well, we get signed then record our first album, then go on tour promoting it."

"We might be able to sneak in some us time in all of that." 

Cas smiled. "I hope so." 

The next few days were gone in the blink of an eye. Dean officially announced that he was going to Huston Texas to play for the Longhorns. Cas spent as much time as he could with his small group of friends and Dean. The night before Cas' departure, Dean took him to Suicide Drop. They laid on the hood of the Impala for hours watching the stars, after they had sex in the back seat of course.  

 It was around midnight when Dean took Cas home. "Oh, Cas, Charlie came by. She wanted to give you your birthday present early." With everything that had been going on, Cas forgot it was now his birthday. "I think there's something for Dean too."

  They took the presents and opened them at the same time. "Shirts..." Cas said. "She said something was written on them. Cas unfolded the shirt and held it out. In the same script as his 'Always Keep Fighting' tattoo, were the words "PerfectDisaster." Dean held his out. "Ever After" was written on his. Cas smiled. "Very clever Charlie."They spent the night at Cas' house, wrapped in each other's arms. They didn't talk about the next day; they pretended that it was just a normal night. 

Cas woke up at four in the morning. He rolled out of bed and put on his "perfect disaster" shirt and a hooded vest over it, leaving it open so the shirt can still be seen. He put on and old pair of ripped worn Tripp pants. He put his hood over his head, to tired to do anything with his hair. 

He grabbed his duffel bag and rolling suitcase and set them next to the front door. Dean walked out of the room fully dressed (in his "ever after" shirt and jeans) a few minutes later. They didn't say much as they loaded Cas' things in the trunk of the Impala, or on the way to the airport in Kansas City. They just held each others hand the whole drive. Cas did make a short video in the airport.

"Now boarding, flight 293 to Los Angeles at gate 2A."

Everyone stood up and started saying their goodbyes. Naomi was in tears naturally. Cas hugged her and kissed her on the forehead. Charlie got a quick picture of Dean and Cas showing of their shirts. Then Dean walked Cas as close to the gate as he could. "If I get a tour date anywhere close to Huston, I'll stop by." Cas smiled. Dean smiled back. "I'm sure we'll Skype and call and text between then."

"Oh I'm texting you as soon as I get on this plane." Dean laughed and pulled Cas into a kiss. "I love you Castiel."

"I love you too Dean." Cas put his messenger bag over his shoulder and walked backwards to the gate. "See you later my perfect disaster!" Cas smiled. "Counting on it my ever after!" He turned around and walked through the bridge and out of Dean's sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, I'm not done yet! STAY TUNED FOR MORE!!! DON'T FORGET TO COMMENT!!!


	12. Hard Work Does Payoff

Adam pointed the camera at himself and gave a thumbs up. "So we're in the plane on our way to LA..." He panned the camera around. "Bunch of random people...Benny...Jeff..." He stopped at Cas who had one earbud in and was looking out the window. "And look! Our fearless leader!" Cas looked at the camera, nd flipped Adam off. 

  "So Cas, how awesome is this gonna be?"  

"So awesome I'm about to piss myself."

"By the way, today is our little Castiel's eighteen birthday! So be sure to tell him happy birthday in the comments, on out twitter, instagram, and on our Facebook page!" 

Cas looked back at the camera. "Yeah, I'm the last one to turn eighteen. Adam's birthday was in January like a week before Dean's. Benny turned eighteen in March, and Jeff's was last month." The camera cut to the window as the plane was taking off. Adam turned the camera on himself. "And off we go!" He turned the camera back to the window, getting Cas in the shot. "Later Kansas!"

The camera cut to Cas' face. "Alright, we just landed in LA and our stuff is taking forever to come out on this stupid conveyor belt thing." He turned the camera to show the conveyor belt then back to his face. "If they lose my guitar, I'm gonna be so pissed. Like, I will beat a mother fucker with another mother fucker. Oh look!" He turned the camera. "There's everyone else's shit."

He turned the camera back. "But where's my shit? Probably still on the fucking plane! Happy birthday to me." He shook his head. "What a bunch of fuck holes." 

The camera cut to the inside of a van then to Cas who was sleeping in the back seat. "So we're stuck in traffic and Cas fell asleep like as soon as we got in the van." Adam moved the camera closer so it was right in Cas' face. Cas opened his eyes and moved back. "Really with that?" He looked at Adam. Adamlaughed. Cas rubbed his head and sat up. "You're such an ass." Adam climbed over the seat on fell on top of Cas.

"We're not in Kansas anymore Toto!" Cas just rolled his eyes and pushed Adam off. "Toto is gonna bite Dorothy is Dorothy doesn't get the fuck out of my face."

The camera cut to the inside of a house. "Welcome to the band house." Cas said. "We each get our own rooms and for some reason we have two living rooms." He panned the camera around. "This is living room number one. "Bit empty right now obviously but this will probably be our game room." 

He walked to the kitchen. "Got a nice little set up in the kitchen here. Little table with a built-in booth and a window that looks out to the city." He walked to the fridge and opened it. 

"And they were kind enough to stock the kitchen for us, they even put a twenty-four pack of Mountain Dew in there for me which I've already opened." He moved through the kitchen. "This is the second living room which they furnished with a giant leather sectional and a fifty-five inch flat screen." 

He walked down the hall. "Adam's room, Benny's room, Jeff's room..." He pushed open a door. "My room. California Queen bed, giant fucking wall of glass with a sliding door that leads to my own balcony. I get my own bathroom, but check this shit out." He walked over to the bed and grabbed a remote. "Don't want the neighbors seeing you butt ass naked in the morning?" He hit a button and the windows tinted. "No fucking problem. You can see them, but they can't see you! Who needs blinds when you have magic windows?"

His phone buzzed at four in the morning. He rolled over and answered. "Dean, there is a two hour time difference remember?"   

"Oh yeah. It's four AM there right?"  

 "Yes Dean. It is. And I was sleeping because I have to be at the label first thing."  

 "That's why I was calling. To wish you luck. Not that you'll need it."   

"Thanks babe. I'm going back to sleep now."  

 "Yeah, do that. Call me later?"  

"Of course."  

A pause.  

"I miss you."  

Cas smiled. "Miss you too Dean." 

Cas woke up 3 hours later. First thing he did was text Dean. "Hey, baby. Sorry about this morning. You know I get grumpy when I'm woke up before I'm ready. Miss ur face. I love you."He put the phone back on the nightstand and got up, pulling on skinny jeans and a black tshirt. 

He ran his hands through his hair and made it presentable before finally walking out of his room.The guys were mostly awake, except Jeff, who made it to the couch before falling asleep again. Cas walked over to Jeff, rubbed his butt on his face, and then went to get a coffee from the kitchen. Adam almost fell off the couch laughing. 

"Might as well get used to it guys. As long as we're all together, stupid shit will happen." He poured himself acup of coffee. Cas' phone buzzed in his pocket. It was a text from Dean."It's ok, I'll forgive you this time. Text me later when you can. I love you :)"

Cas smiled and put his phone back in his pocket. He drained his coffee then it was off to the label.   "You boys have made a little noise in the last few months and I must say, the public loves it. At first we were a little hesitant because of all the other bands in the same category as you including Marianas Trench, but it seems you've let your music do the talking for you." The label owner held up their demo. 

"If you keep making music like this, you'll have no problem in this business." Cas leaned forward in his chair. "If I may sir, the reason why we let our music do the talking is because we didn't want to ride on the coat tails of Marianas Trench. We wanted to make our own name and identity. Not just be known as the kids who got a shot because of Josh."

The label owner nodded. "Well, maybe it started off like that, but you're group is extremely talented. We feel like Join The Hunt has  what it takes to make it big." The owner thought for a minute. Cas stared at him silently. "What do you say? Are you ready to sign on the dotted line, Mr Novak?"

"Can I read it first? No offense but I don't like to be bullshited." The man slid him the contract. Cas read everything, including the fine print. Everything looked legit. He read what their sign on bonus would be and looked up. "You're giving us half a million each just to sign with you?" 

 "Trust me. You boys are worth every penny."

 "That's two million dollars." 

  "I know."  

"You do realize that we're all eighteen right?" 

 The man laughed. "Of course."  Cas looked at his band mates. "Well? Everything is legit on here. I'm not signing unless we all agree. But we also have to agree that we aren't doing this for the money or the fame. We do it so people can hear our music and for the love of music."   

They all nodded in agreement. "Alright then." He grabbed the pen off the table and signed, handing it off so the rest could sign. Adam handed the contract back to Cas who slid it across the table.  

 "Alright then. Welcome to the label boys." As soon as they got home, they freaked out."Oh my fucking God we just got fucking signed!!" High fives and hugs were shared. Tears threatened Cas' eyes. He had made it.As they guys celebrated, Cas walked into his room and pulled out his phone. He dialed it."Hey there, Perfect Disaster."

"Hey yourself, Ever After. God, it's so good to hear your voice."

"Agreed. I miss you."

"So, we met with the label today..."

"And....? Don't leave me hanging!"

Cas bit his lip. "We got signed! And paid!"

"What?! Holy shit, babe that's amazing! Congratulations! And what do you mean by paid?"

"Thanks. Half a mil. Each."

"Holy shit!" 

 "Yeah, it's gonna get wired to our account. We thought pooling the money together in a joint band account would be better that each of us carrying half a mill around." 

 "So you guys gonna hit the town and celebrate?" 

  "Not me. I'm gonna go to the studio and get started on some songs." 

 "Babe, you should go celebrate. You've earned it." 

  Cas ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. "Yeah, but now I have to work for what I just earned." 

"You already have Cas."

Cas rubbed his face. "I....don't really feel like celebrating."

"But they guys are excited and you have definitely earned a night off."

"What's the point in celebrating if I can't celebrate with the person I care about the most?"

On the other end, Dean smiled. "Aww, babe, that's so sweet. You've gotten soft."

"Fuck you, Winchester."

"I wish. But really. Go have fun tonight. This is your day."

"We'll see. I'm gonna get to work on some stuff. I'll text you later. I love you, Dean."

"I love you too, Cas." Dean hung up the phone amd lay back on his bed, staring at the bottom of the bunk above him. The door opened. "Hey, Sean."

"Hey, Dean. Who ya talking to? Your man?"

"Yeah. He got signed today."

"Wait, for real?" Sean looked like a light bulb went off in his head. "Hold on. Your Cas is Castiel. As in Cas Novak of Join The Hunt?!"

"Yeah... I've been keeping it quiet."

"Dude. That is amazing." Sean high fived Dean. 

"Yeah. He's more amazing in person."  

 "I bet. He seems like he can be a handful though."  

 "You have no idea. Hey do me a favor and don't tell anyone. Not yet anyway. I'll do it myself when the time is right." 

 "You got it Winchester."  

***

Cas was sitting on his bed with his guitar, a notebook in front of him, and a pencil between his teeth. Hey played some notes and hummed a melody. There was a knock.  

 "Yeah?" 

 "Hey man you comin?"  

"Nah, you guys go. I'm gonna get to work." 

Adam poked his head in the door. "You sure, dude?"

"Yeah. Go on. Have a great time."

"Ok, boss, if you insist."

The guys left and the housr was suddenly quiet. Cas ordered some Chinese and sat down at his computer. He put on his headphones and listened to background vocals layered on the newest track.

Several hours and three eggrolls later, he went to bed. The track was almost done. Their first album close to completion. He picked up his phone. "Hey Dean."

"Hey, babe! What's up?"

***

Month four. Cas put his key in the the door and pushed. The house was quiet, which was weird, because it was a Saturday and the guys were normally home. He headed to his room and opened the door. "Holy fuck! When did you... how... fuck!" 

Dean sat on the edge of Cas' bed, wearing jeans and a Longhorns tshirt. "Hey there, Perfect Disaster." Cas basically through himself at Dean, kissing him full on the mouth.Cas pulled back. "But really. How are you here?" 

"We have a day off, so I figured I would surprise you. Hell, I haven't seen you for two months."

 

"It's been two months? I hadn't noticed." He joked.

"Shut up and kiss me." 

Cas through his arms around Dean and kissed hin again, knocking him doen onto the bed. They positioned themselves so they were facing each other. After a few minutes,  Dean pulled back and stared at Cas with a smile on his face. "What ya looking at?"

"You. Those eyes. I've really missed you, Castiel." Dean touched Cas' cheek with his fingers, kissing him again.

"Hold me, Ever After."

"Always, Perfect Disaster."

They just laid there for awhile. Cas broke the silence. "Hey, we have a photo shoot for the album today. Wanna go?"  

"Hell yes!" 

 ***  

Cas walked in to the hair and make up trailer. Adam turned the camera on. "Okay, so we're hear at the Hollywood Roosevelt in LA for a photo shoot for the album. The reason we pick this place because not only is it said to be haunted but it's been said that Marilyn Monroe haunts the place too. We just may have to shoot avideo here."

Cas stuck his face directly in the camera, Blair Witch style. "It's so.... spooky!" Adam shut off the camera and sat down to get ready for the shoot. Cas hopped into the chair next to him.

Cas' hair had grown a bit in the last two months and it was almost over his eyes. The hair and make up team went to work on the band. Adam turned the camera on and pointed it at Cas. 

"So this chick gets a whole hair and make up team and what do we get? 'Wear your own clothes and go play in the abandoned haunted hotel. I can live with this."   

After hair and make up, they left the trailer and walked into the hotel. "This place is for sure creepy."

"Marilyn? You in here?" Cas yelled. Adam had the camera rolling. "I think she's afraid of me. Like 'oh shit! It's that crazy kid from Lawrence!' I just want to play."

"It's awesome." Cas smiled as he looked around. "Dean get your ass in here and look at this!"Dean walked up next to Cas, who took his hand and kissed it. "Alright, guys, I need the band over here for a briefing." Cas raised an eyebrow. "Kinky." Dean shoved him. "Go do... whatever it is that you're doing, hot shot." 

"This place has good acoustics." Adam said.   

"Don't you move, can't you stay were you are just for now. I can be you perfect disaster. You can be my ever after." Cas sang out. His voice echoed off the walls. "Oh yeah!" He took a drink of water. "If that doesn't get Marilyn Monroe to show herself, she hasno taste in music."

They all started clapping in unison. "I know I never make this easy. It's easier to disappear. You say give me some a thing that I can go on. Together, yeah, anywhere but here. Sing it back." The band sung in unison. "Oh, oh, oh oh oh oh."

 "Hey yeah!"  They all stopped and started laughing. "We're totally doing a video here." From behind them came a high pitched voice. "Happy birthday, Mr President."Cas, Adam and Benny whipped around to see Jeff up on a staircase.

"Annnndddd today is the day we find out that our drummer does Marilyn. I don't know how to feel. It's creepy and awesome at the same time." Cas raised an eyebrow at Jeff. "Get down here, asshat."

"If he didn't just do that, I would have." The band laughed. "Alright, down to business. So we're gonna stand over there in the front, then take a few pictures on the stairs over there.”

Jeff clapped his hands together. "Let's do this, fellas."The four gathered on the stairs and positioned themselves according to what the photographer asked.Dean laughed as Cas' overgrown hair kept falling in his face. Cas flipped him off. After a few hours of shooting, the photographer called it."We have so many great shots. I can't wait to show you all the finished product." 

"And now, back to the studio tomorrow to finish the album. Because the deadline is in like two days and we're still not done." They spent another five hours or so working in the studio. The rest of the guys filed out of the room."See ya in a while, Cas!""Yup. I'll be home soon. Bye."Dean walked over to Cas. "This was fun." Cas leaned so his head was resting on Dean's shoulder. "Definitely. I'm really glad you came to visit. I put on a good face, but it's been tough not being with you."

"Same for me. But I made you a promise didn't I?"

"That you did."Dean pulled Cas in for a hug. 

"I don't think we've done it in a sound booth before."

"Mmm...I like the way you think Winchester." Cas smiled. Dean pulled Cas in as close as he could and kissed him. Cas moved his hands to Dean's hips and backed him into the booth. Cas pushed himself against Dean, grinding down on Dean's growing erection. He kissed down Dean's jawbone to his neck. He pulled down the collar of Dean's shirt and sucked the skin right above his collarbone. 

Cas laughed into Dean's skin as he felt Dean's knees buckle. "Damn, Cas..."

"It's been awhile. You're like a virgin again, getting all weak on me."

"Like you said. It's been awhile." Dean pulled Cas' shirt over his head and tossed it aside, then he took of his own. Cas ran his hands along Dean's torso. Dean was even more built than he was when they graduated. "College football has been good to you."

"You're not so bad yourself." Cas trailed kisses down Dean's torso. He took the zip of Dean's jeans in his teeth and undid them. Cas stood back up and took Dean's erection in his hand and took over his mouth. Dean reached down and undid Cas' jeans, pushing them down off of his hips.

Cas took both of them into his hand and moved his hips back and forth, letting their precome mix and become a natural lubricant. He bit his lip and stifled a moan.Dean groaned again. "Fuck, Cas. I missed this."

Cas responded by flipping Dean around so his face was against the plexiglass. He nipped at Dean's shoukder blades and neck. He kicked his pants off the rest of the way."Believe me, so have I." He whispered into Dean's back.

He put his tip on Dean's hole and pushed in, moaning at the feeling of Dean tensing and relaxingaround him. He pushed in more. "God damn. Is it me or have you gotten tighter?"

"Like we said," Dean exhaled, "It's been awhile." Cas let his head fall forward onto Dean's shoulder. He bit at the skin there,  causing Dean to let out another deep moan.

"God I missed you." Dean breathed. Cas pushed in harder. Dean cried out a moan. "I've missed you too." Cas breathed.

Cas pushed deeper into Dean until there wasn't any space left between  them. He rested his head on Dean's back as he rocked his hips back and forth. He brushed a certain spot deep inside, causing Dean to yell out. Cas smiled. "Found it."

"Shit... Cas... oh my God..." Cas hit Dean's prostate again, harder this time. Dean moaned again and a shiver went through his entire body."Cas..."

"Say it, Dean..."

Dean could barely talk. He was wrecked. The words were barely a whisper. "Make me come, baby."

"With pleasure." Cas backed Dean up a little before pushing between his shoulder blades. Dean put his hands on the wall to steady himself. Cas picked up his pace, snapping his hios forcefully into Dean, bombarding that cluster of nerves deep inside. 

Dean yelled out with each hit of his prostate, and before long was barely able to keep standing. He felt a familiar warmth building in his groin. He was almost there when Cas stood him back up. 

Cas removed his swollen cock from Dean and turned Dean so they were facing each other. He slid back into Dean and took Dean's erection in his hand.

"Eyes open." Dean bit his lip as he keep his eyes on Cas' electric blue eyes. He felt his eyes flutter closed. And then a pinch at the base of his dick that made his eyelids fly open again. "I told you, eyes open. I need to see those green eyes."

"Okay. Eyes open." Dean fought to do what he was asked. He could tell it was hard for Cas too. Cas found Dean's prostate once more, hitting it repeatedly.Dean wrapped his arms around Cas, lowering his hands to the cleft of Cas' ass.

He slowly worked a finger in and smiled when Cas' pace faltered as he teased at his entrance. Cas gave another squeeze of Dean's cock as he reached the tip. Dean came undone, panting through his orgasm. He worked his finger into Cas again, causing him to come as well. 

They stayed there for a few minutes in silence as they recovered from the first time either of them had felt release in two months.Cas grabbed some wet wipes and handed one to Dean. Dean looked at him. "I have a habit of spilling shit when I get excited." 

Dean just laughed. "In moreways than one apparently."  

"Shut up and clean yourself off." They cleaned themselves off, and then the floor, and the wall. Dean looked around the room. "I hope you guys don't use blacklights in here."

"Nope. Especially not after we just, ya know... blew it all over this room." They stepped out of the booth, still pulling their clothes back on. Cas watched as Dean's tshirt fell over his muscled frame. He walked over to Dean and kissed him. "Do you have to leave tomorrow?"

"Unfortunately. We have another pre season game to determine the starting line up of the regular season." Cas nodded. "If things go well, I could be thefirst freshman quarterback in a long time, if ever."

"Baby, that's awesome! It'll be you! I know it."

"That would be pretty awesome." Cas put his arm around Dean. "Alright, football star. Let's head back to the house. You need to sleep so you can catch that plane in the morning."

Morning came quickly. Cas woke up to sunlight streaming in through his bedroom window. He blinked his eyes. An arm was draped across him. Dean's arm. Cas rolled over so he could see his lover's face.Dean's face was smashed into the pillow and his lips were pushed up. 

Cas smiled and scooted in closer. He kissed Dean on the nose.Dean stirred a little, grunting as he woke up. He opened his eyes."Hi, creeper."

"Creeper that you love so, so much," Cas crooned. He kissed Dean. "I guess we should get up. It's my turn to see you off."

Dean groaned. "Do I have to? I just want to stay here."

"I want you to stay, too. But someone has to be the first ever freshman starting QB for the Longhorns."

"Yeah, I guess. I could just conveniently miss my flight though."  

 Cas rolled his eyes and got up. As much as he wanted Dean to stay, they had their own stuff going on. And Cas had to do a bunch of interviews to promote the album when it was finished. Dean sat up. Cas watched Dean from behind. He was going to miss that sight. They got out of bed and put their clothes on. Dean packed up his things and Cas helped load them into the car. 

 The ride to the airport was quiet. The boys held hands the whole ride. Dean sighed as they pulled into the airport. "I really don't want to get on that plane." Cas squeezed Dean's hand. "I know, babe. I don't want you to either. But we'll see each other soon. Promise."

Cas walked him as far as he could go. He wrapped his arms around Dean and kissed his forehead. "I love you. Now go put on that spandex I love so much."

"I love you, too. I'll send you a picture."

"I like." 

Dean kissed Cas. "Bye, Perfect Disaster."

"Bye, Ever After." Dean pulled back, his hand trailing across Cas' hip. He smiled before turning to walk through the gate. Cas fingered the ring on his finger and smiled.

Dean walked through the gate and put his ear buds in. Cas downloaded the album on his phone so he had it before anyone else. The first song that played was "Ever After". He smiled as he took his seat.


	13. One Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hola everyone! With out further ado...here is chapter 13!!! I apologize for the long chapters...
> 
> Chapter song list:
> 
> Toy Soldiers By Marianas Trench (written as JTH)
> 
> By Now by Marianas Trench (written as JTH)
> 
> One Love by Marianas Trench (written as JTH)
> 
> Ever After by Marianas Trench (written as JTH)
> 
> Shut Up And Kiss Me by Marianas Trench (written as JTH)
> 
> Closer by Nine Inch Nails

Cas drove back to the studio to finish the album. He downloaded a rough cut of the album on Dean's phone so he could listen to it. He got out of the car and walked into the studio. The deadline was in twenty-four hours and they still had to finish two songs. He jumped right on the sound board and polished the unfinished tracks. 

Then he found the email of the cover art and picked out a few. Now it was time to write the thank yous. Cas went into detail on a few. After he was finished with that, he sent it to the label along with the album tracks. "Well now that that's done, time to do some interviews. Which we have to go all around the country to do." The first interview was a local radio station. Then they had an interview with MTV where the were giving a performance. 

"Alright, I have the boys from Join The Hunt here promoting their debut album called 'Toy Soldiers' here next to me is front man Cas Novak. So Cas, how did you come up with the title 'Toy Soldiers'?"  

"Uh, well, it's actually the name of a song on the album and there's also a song on there that has a reference to that song so I figured 'what the hell'. And I thought it'd be kind of cool if the fans started calling themselves toy soldiers."   

"So before you signed with Warner Bros, there were a few songs that pretty much broke the internet. Are any of those songs on the album?"  

"Yeah, uh, All To Myself is on there, so is Ever After, Desperate Measures, and Stutter."   

"What about Lover Dearest?"  

"I wanted to put that on there but I wanted more songs that people haven't heard."   

"So what will the first single be off the album?"  

"Toy Soldiers for sure. We might do Stutter just to see if we can make a better music video for it but I don't know." 

"Sounds solid. Well folks, without any further ado, here is Join The Hunt performing live right here with Toy Soldiers!"

The band walked over to the stage. Cas strapped on his guitar and stepped up to the mic. The music started. Sounding like an old video game. Then the band started to play and Cas sang

Who’ll be my Montague now,  
To this broken Capulet  
How, how, how if not for you  
And you’ll be my local hero  
Be my role model  
And don’t, don’t, don’t fail me now

(My love)

Don’t you wanna love,  
Don’t you wanna love,  
I’m your biggest fan  
It’s so good to finally meet ya  
I deserve a little more  
Wouldn’t you say-oh, a-oh, a-oh

(My love)

Don’t you wanna love,  
Don’t you want to  
Don’t you think I deserve better after all that we’ve been through (love)  
Don’t you wanna love (love)  
Now what you say-oh, a-oh, a-oh

To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers  
I’ll follow you like  
To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers  
I’ll follow you like  
To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers  
I’ll follow you like  
To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers

I’ll follow you like  
To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers  
I’ll follow you like  
To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers  
I’ll follow you like  
To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers  
I’ll follow you like  
To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers

Toy soldiers

I will love you like goodbye  
I will love you like you died, died  
A martyr for me

(My love)

Don’t you want love  
Don’t you want this  
Don't you look so shocked  
This was not the way I planned it  
I deserve a little more  
Wouldn’t you say-oh, a-oh, a-oh

(My love)

Don’t you want love,  
Don’t you fight back  
Know this will hurt less if you just submit so (love)  
How bout a little gratitude  
For what I say-oh, a-oh, a-oh

To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers  
I’ll follow you like  
To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers  
I’ll follow you like  
To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers  
I’ll follow you like  
To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers

I’ll follow you like  
To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers  
I’ll follow you like  
To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers  
I’ll follow you like  
To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers  
I’ll follow you like  
To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers

They don’t know you  
Not like I do  
Only you and I were meant to be  
Understand you  
Just like I do  
Just like you and I were meant to be forever

One day you will  
Learn to love me  
One day you will  
Thank me, you’ll see  
If I can’t have you  
No one can

Follow you like (toys)  
To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers  
I’ll follow you like  
To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers  
I’ll follow you like (follow you like toys)  
To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers  
I’ll follow you like  
To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers

I’ll follow

Understand you  
Just like I do  
Just like you and I were meant to be  
Don’t know you  
Not like I do  
Only you and I were meant to be

Understand you  
Just like I do  
Just like you and I were meant to be forever

 

Cas stepped away from the mic. The small crowd cheered. Some holding up signs that say "I love you Cas" and "I'll be your ever after." Cas smiled as he looked out.

Yet another interview. The fifth one today. "So Cas, tell us about the album."  

"Well, it's a cd. And there's music that I wrote on it." He adjusted his headphones. 

The DJ laughed. "So what was the writing process like?"  

"Uh, a lot of Jack Daniels and ugly crying." He laughed. "Uh, whenever I write songs, I just kinda shut myself in my room and listen to classical music and the words just kind of appear on the paper." 

"So what was your favorite song to record?"  

"I don't really have one. I had a lot of fun with all of them. Especially the ones nobody has heard yet like Toy Soldiers, No Place like home, and While We're Young." 

When he was finally done with the interviews, he pulled out his phone and called Dean.   

"Hey perfect disaster."  

"Hey ever after."  

"I heard the new song. It's awesome!"  

"Dean, you have the whole album on your phone. Granted it's a rough cut but still."  

 "It's just awesome that you're on the radio!"  

"Yeah, it is pretty cool isn't it?"  

"Hell yeah! Oh by the way. Guess who's the starting QB?"  

"That's awesome babe! I knew you'd get it! Congrats!"  

"Thanks Cas. I gotta go, my running back Jaxon it practically dragging me out the door to celebrate with the team."  

"Okay babe. Have fun. I love you."  

"Love you too perfect disaster."

Dean hung up. Jaxon pushed him out the door. "Okay, okay I'm goin jeez." He laughed. "Well, we can't start without you." Jaxon walked around him, leading the way. Jaxon was a little shorter than Dean and had a small muscular frame. He always said he was built for speed. It must be true too because Jaxon was damn near untouchable.   

He had light brown hair and blue eyes, not like Cas'. Jaxon's eyes were almost gray. As good looking as he is, Dean couldn't understand why he didn't have a girlfriend. When they got to the bar, it exploded with cheers. Dean smiled and bowed. "Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all year. Please, no autographs." Jaxon laughed and clapped him on the back. "Come on, first round's on me." 

***  
Cas got off the plane and grabbed his duffel bag. He decided he'd surprise Dean. Dean told him about a bar they would all go to where the team went to celebrate. He walked out of the airport and his rental car pulled up, a brand new Mustang much like the one he had back in LA. He got behind the wheel and used Google Maps to find the bar

***

Everyone slowly filtered out of the bar around midnight. Dean was the only one that wasn't drunk but he did have a good buzz going. Everyone tried to get him to drink more but he'd rather not drink so much. Dean, Jaxon, and a few others were walking through the ally between the bar and another building. They were still laughing about how crazy everyone acted in the bar. Everything happened very fast after that. Jaxon grabbed Dean's arm and spun him around. Before Dean knew what was happening, Jaxon's lips were on his. He pushed Jaxon off and saw someone standing far off behind them.   

"Cas..."   

Cas just stood there for a second, a look of pure devastation on his face. He just walked away without saying a word. "Cas!" Dean ran after him, but by time he got out of the ally, Cas was gone.

"Dammit." He pulled out his phone and called Cas. It kept ringing. "Come on Cas." Cas' voicemail picked up. "Hey sorry I couldn't make it to the phone. Leave a message and I might call you back."  

"Fuck!"  

Beep.  

"Cas, please answer. Please! I swear to God that's not what it looked like! Call me...please." He hung up and walked over to Jaxon. "If anything happens to him because of this, I'll fucking kill you."  

"Come on, what's he gonna do? Write a song about it?" Dean grabbed him and pushed him against the wall. "You have no idea who he is and what he's been through. Write a song bashing me? I can live with that. But him relapsing or even wrecking the car he's in, I can't. I made a promise to him when we graduated that no matter where he was, I would still be there." Jaxon looked at him. "Come on Winchester, if he wouldn't have shown up, we both know you would have kept going." Dean didn't say anything. He stepped back and punched Jaxon in the face. "That's what you get for thinking mother fucker. Now stay away from me."

His phone blinked. Indicating a message. He grabbed his phone.   

"Hey bitch."  

"Hey Charlie. Uh, are you gonna be home say five in the morning?"  

"Yeah,why? You sound like you've been crying."  

"Well, I'm in Houston and I'm driving to Lawrence."  

"Cas, what happened?"  

"I'll tell you when I get there. I just don't want to get worked up while I'm driving."   

"Okay. Wait. How will it take you five hours?"  

"Well, I'm kinda doing a hundred and twenty on the highway."

*knock knock*

Charlie threw the door open.

"Oh my God, Cas! You look like shit." 

"Thanks, red. I'm aware." She looked him over. Something was wrong. Cas hadn't acted like this in a long time. Charlie stepped aside and let her friend in. 

"So, wanna talk about it?"

Cas put his face in his hands and sobbed. "Oh! Oh, yikes. Castiel, what...?"

"He was with someone else!" 

"Wanna run that by me again?" 

"Did I stutter? I went to see him," Cas wiped his face with his sleeve, "and I saw him. In the alley by the bar. With someone else. Another guy. They were kissing..."

Charlie put a hand on Cas' back and led him to the couch. "Are... are you sure? Because that doesn't sound like the Dean I talked to earlier today."

"I know what I fucking saw Charlie. I'm not blind. I should have known better. I'm too screwed up for him and he found someone better."

Charlie just sat and stared at Cas, unsure how to feel. She put a hand on his knee. 

"Cas... I... don't know what to say."

"There's nothing you can say. Or anyone. I'm done. He doesn't love me. This ring means nothing. He..." Cas leaned into Charlie and cried. Charlie just held him, not knowing what to do. She had a feeling that Cas was wrong; she has just talked with Dean and he did nothing but gush over Cas and how proud he was of him.

Cas fell asleep on the couch. Charlie had just gotten up to go to bed when her phone vibrated in her pocket. She moved to the other room and answered.  

"I can't get through to Cas."  

"That's because he's asleep on my couch."  

"He's in Lawrence?"  

"Yup. Drove the whole way after he saw what went down."  

"Charlie-"  

"Dean, I know you would never do anything to hurt Cas. But put yourself in his shoes. He's had nothing but bad luck since the day he was born and he's come to expect it. Especially when things go good for awhile."   

"I know. God, the look on his face Charlie...he didn't even let me explain. I didn't even know Jaxon was gay until he...did that."   

"Sounds like he has some issues."  

"I don't even care. I told him to stay away from me after I punched him in the face."  

"But, he's your teammate."  

"Off the field, I have nothing to say to him."

Charlie sighed. "Dean... I don't know what to do. I'll try and talk to him some more. Maybe he'll come around." 

"I hope so. I can't imagine being without him. I'm in love with him, Charlie." Dean's voice trailed off and broke. "I'm going to let him sleep and try talking to him when he's rested. I'll call you. And I know you do. This isn't your fault." 

"Feels like it is. I guess I'll let you get some sleep too. See ya." He hung up. He set his phone on his nightstand and put his arm over his eyes. At least Cas was safe.

*** 

Cas rolled over and opened his eyes. It took him a second to recognize Charlie's living room. He looked at the clock on the wall. It was two in the afternoon. 

"Hey there, rock star."

"Hey, slut."

Charlie sat down next to Cas on the couch and ruffled his hair. "Feeling any better?" 

"I feel like I was hit by a mack truck. Ten times. And I wasn't even drinking." 

"Well, you had a... crazy night."

Silence.

"So... I uh, talked to Dean."

Cas shot her a look. "Don't be mad. He's just as hurt."

"Didn't look very hurt when he was all over that guy last night."

"Castiel, he wasn't all over that guy. That guy made a series miscalculation and made move on him. He punched him in the face and ran after you." Cas looked at her. "He punched the guy?"  

"And told him to never talk to him off the field. They are on the same team. I for one hope the dude gets hit by a car, but I'm sure karma will get his ass."   

"And now I feel even more like shit."   

"Hey, we get it. We both knew what you must have been thinking." 

Cas sat and thought for a moment. "I don't know, Charlie. I... I can't. I need some time. And a shower." 

"You know where it's at." Cas headed to the bathroom. Charlie sat on the couch, head in her hands. "He doesn't believe me," she thought to herself. 

Before getting in the shower, he deleted all the voicemails and texts Dean sent. He sent a quick text to Adam telling him where he was and he'd be back before going on tour.  He stripped and stepped in the shower, letting the water wash over him. He washed quickly, got out, and got dressed. He walked out to the living room. "Thanks for letting me crash here Charlie."   

"That's what friends are for. So, what's the plan?"  

"Well, I'm about to tour for a few months. Then I'll probably get back in the studio and get started on the next album." 

"Great. What's the other plan?" 

"What other plan? I have a lot to do. Gonna be busy." 

"Your plan about your ever after."

"Don't do that Charlie. Like I said, I'm busy and will be for awhile." Cas hugged her and kissed her on the cheek. "I'll call you in a couple of days. Thanks for everything." 

For now, he was just gonna act like nothing was wrong and basically bury himself with work until he decided what to do. Stupid? Probably. Should he just call Dean? Yes. Was he going to? Fuck no. Why? He didn't even know the answer to that. Instead, he was gonna drive to the airport, get on a plane, go back to LA, and go on tour. Ignoring his problems instead of facing them...as usual.

*************  
"Take five, ladies!"

Dean trotted off the field and took his helmet off. He wiped the sweat from his face and gulped down some of his water. He saw Jaxon out of the corner of his eye; he was heading his way. Dean stood up and flipped a middle finger at Jaxon,  who rolled his eyes and walked away.

It had been a few weeks and still no word from Cas. Dean woke up every day with a hole right through him. He knew Charlie had tried, but Cas closes off when he's hurt, and he was definitely past hurt.

************  
Cas walked off stage and grabbed a towel to wipe the sweat off his face. The crowd was still screaming. "Awesome performance as usual Cas!" Adam clapped him on the back. "Yeah, thanks man." He took a drink of water. He found that if he just lost himself in the music and the crowd, he'd deliver a badass show as usual. But when he played certain songs, he'd fight back the feelings they brought on. 

************  
Three months had passed. Dean was home in Lawrence for a week, which he welcomed. If he didn't have to deal with Jaxon eyeing him for any period of time, it was awesome. 

Mary was making dinner. Dean had just stepped out of a hot shower and noticed a missed call notification on his phone. It was Charlie. He picked up his phone and called Charlie, sitting in his room on his phone and called her back.

“Hey, Dean! Long time no chat.”

“Hey. It's been awhile. What's up?”

“Well, I'm working on a new project and I need some help. I wondered if you might be able to lend a hand?”

“uh, sure. I'm in town for awhile so I can come by.”

“Great! Tomorrow maybe? Like, seven-ish? At the LHS auditorium?”

“It's a date. I'll be there.”

“Awesome! See ya then! Bye!”

“Bye.” Dean put his phone down and got dressed. As he headed down the stairs, he wondered what the heck Charlie was up to.

************  
One day earlier.

*knock knock*

“Who in the hell…?” Charlie walked to the front door and opened it she was surprised to see Cas, who was supposed to be touring right then. He smiled at her.

“Hey, buddy! What brings you into town?”

“We have a show nearby and I thought I'd pop over. You gonna make me stand on the porch, slut?”

Charlie shook her head. “Get in here, asshat.” She pulled him into a hug, which he held a little longer than normal.

“Cas, you okay?”

“I… I want him back.”

Charlie smiled. "Oh good. I was beginning to think you forgot about him." 

Cas shot her a look. "Funny Red. You know how I deal with this kind of shit." 

"Yeah well, take your own advice and face the music when it's dire."  

"Clever Charlie."  

"Thought you'd like that." 

Cas stepped the rest of the way into the house. He turned stone faced Charlie, hands on his hips. 

"What the fuck am I doing?"

"Going after your soulmate, moron."

"How... how do I know he even wants me back? What if he laughs in my face?"

"He won't. I've told you before. He is completely in love with you. He wouldn't have given you that ring otherwise. Oh my God! What did you do with the ring?!"

Cas pulled a chain out of his shirt that had been hidden. The ring was on it. "It's been here the whole time. Around my neck. Close to my heart." He tucked the ring back in his shirt.

"Well, damn Cas. I didn't know you could be so sappy."

"Yeah, yeah. Now, what do I do?"

"What you normally do. Sing it out."

"I have an idea." Cas smiled. 

 

Dean walked through the doors of his Alma Mater and headed to the auditorium. So many memories all at once. Him and the football team, his friends, Cas… He sighed as he walked on. He pushed the doors open and stepped into the auditorium. 

“Hey, football star!”

“Hey, Charlie.” Charlie wrapped him in a hug. “It's so good to see you.” Charlie squeezed his biceps. “Damn boy, nice…”

“Thanks,” Dean laughed. “I train hard. So, what's this project?”

She grabbed him and walked to the middle of the auditorium. "Just stand here." The lights dimmed. Dean looked at Charlie in confusion. Then music started to play along with a video of Cas and Dean.

How've you been? Can I come in?

Just came to get my things and then I guess I'm leaving

If I could say what you'd like to hear

I'd whisper in your ear it's only temporary

But I've been taking you for granted

And I thought you'd feel the same as me

It's time that I come clean, but

But for now can we just both pretend to sleep

Sometimes the one you want is not the one you need

What goes around don't come around

You should know me by now

Better than, better than, better than

You should know me

Better than, better than, better than

You should know me

Better than, better than, better than

You should know me

Better than

I should know you as well

Better than, better than, better than

You should know me

Better than, better than, better than

You should know me

Better than, better than, better than

You should know me

Better than,

You should know me by now

The curtain rose and the song changed. The video continued to play. The rest of the band was there but Cas wasn't.

I wake up tonight, feeling paper thin and I'm paper white

You say, "Just come back to bed"

Voice sounds strange, but I soon forget

And your sad blue eyes, like mine

Full of pity now, but I don't know why

The light dims without regret

'Til now you're nothing more than a silhouette

But just hold quick, you're fading right

In a cold trick of the light

I'm just so sick, I thought you might be here

But you di-disappear

Now I wake up and I forget that you were gone

A phantom limb is all that I am hanging on

So don't stop, no stopping it yet

What if the one true love's the only one that you get?

And you've been wishing but you don't know how to stay

And I've been broken but I'm better every day

So don't stop, no stoppin' it yet

What if the one true love's the only one that you get?

One love (one love), one love you get

One love (one love), one love you get

One love (one love), one love you get

One love (one love), one love you get

The song changed again. Cas walked out on stage, mic in hand. He walked over to the piano and sat down. 

Once upon a time

I used to romanticize

Used to be somebody, never mind

Don't miss it that much now

I think it's sinking in

Days that I wonder where I've been

In picture perfect porcelain

But I won't lose a pound

You say I would make a better liar

And never face the music when it's dire

And I breathe disaster, ever after

Don't pull away from me now

Don't you move

Can't you stay where you are, just for now

I could be your perfect disaster

You could be my ever after

You could be my ever after, after all

I could be your perfect disaster

You could be my ever after

Apologies, I'm not myself but I can guarantee

That when I get back, you won't believe

That you knew me well

Don't want to think about it

I'm fuckin' tired of getting sick about it

Now stand back up and be a man about it

And fight for something, fight for something, fight for something, oh

The song changed again and Cas got up and grabbed his guitar. He grabbed the mic and put it on the stand at the front of the stage. 

Please sing to me,

I can see you open up to breathe.

Fast words make it easier on me,

If the point is to never disappoint you,

Somebodies got to tell me what to do.

Just wish you could've seen me

When it used to come so easy.

I like to say it's easy to stay

But it's not for me,

Cause I'm barely here at all.

Slow down now, the secrets out.

And I swear now everything is perfect.

What you want, what you need has been killing me.

Try to be everything that you want me to be.

I say yes, I'll undress, I've done more for less.

Now I'll change everything until it's perfect again

Cas pushed his guitar behind him and played the keyboard in front of him. 

You can say you're kind of bored with this

But if you're young, it's new, I guess

But I don't want you leaving me now

You can say that I don't know romance

I can sing but I can't dance

And I don't want you leaving me now

Oh well you say I'm a mess

You say everything but a yes

You say you'll never date me

You say your mom will hate me

Or you can just shut up

Shut up shut up shut up

Shut up and kiss me

Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up

Shut up and kiss me

You can say you won't

And you could tell me no, and you can let me go

Or maybe if you don't, then just

Shut up

Shut up shut up shut up

Shut up and kiss me

 

Dean just stood there for a moment, feet cemented to the floor. Suddenly, his feet remembered how to walk and he was heading to the stage, toward Cas. He climbed up and stood in front of him.

“Dean… I…” Cas didn't finish his sentence. Dean had pulled him in and took over his mouth, exploring the interior with his tongue as if it was the first time. Cas pulled back and smiled. 

“I missed you.”

"Cas, what happened with Jaxon, he kissed me. I didn't have time to react before you saw him all over me. I would never do that to you, not after everything we've been through." He took a breath.

Cas breathed in deeply, slowly, and looked directly in the green eyes in front of him. He smiled a little at Dean and took his hand. "It's been a rough time..." The both jumped off stage and walked over to Charlie, hand in hand. "I can see it now: 'Rock star and football star together again!' 'Scuse me while I go sell this story." She turned to leave. 

Cas grabbed her and spun her. "Easy there Red. No need for that." He held out his hand. "Cough it up." 

Charlie pouted. "Don't give me that look. If the press wants us, they can come find us. Until then..." He wiggled his fingers. Charlie sighed and took the memory card out of the camera and handed it to him. "You're no fun Novak." 

"Oh I'm still fun, I just don't want people sticking their noses where the don't belong." He put the card in his pocket. "You're in the wrong line of business then."

"No, I just do a good job of staying away from paparazzi and keep my personal business out of the tabloids." 

"Come on guys. Let's get out of here. At least, I'm getting out of here. I have stuff to do."

"Like what, slut? Because it ain't uploading whatever you have on that phone."

Charlie bobbed her head. "Oh, you know. Stuff. And whatnot. Important stuff and whatnot. I'll see you idiots later." Charlie winked and flounced out of the room. 

"Hungry?" Dean asked.

"Definitely. But, let's not go anywhere public. Probably my place. I really don't want to deal with the vultures today."

Cas pushed open the front door. Every time he came home, it would be to his mom's. "Mom! I'm home! And I dragged Dean with me!" He called taking off his shoes. "In the kitchen!" Came Naomi's voice. Cas walked into the kitchen and gave his mom a hug. 

"You need to come home more often." She patted his back. "I'll try." He kissed her cheek and moved to the fridge. "Dean, nice to see you. How are tricks?" Dean smiled. "Pleasure as always Ms Novak. And tricks are good." Cas handed Dean a soda and leaned against the counter. "So I take it you two are back together." She eyed Dean. 

"Wasn't his fault mom. Total misunderstanding." Naomi glanced at Cas, and then back at Dean. "Well, I know how happy you guys are together. Congratulations." She hugged Dean and then hugged Cas. "I'm going to lay down. Behave yourselves."

Cas acted shocked. "But, ma, I'm a perfect angel..." Naomi rolled her eyes at her son and walked off to her room. Dean snorted. Cas winked at him. "Oh yeah, food. What are you in the mood for?" Dean pursed his lips in thought. "Hmm, whatever you decide to make." He took a drink of his soda. 

Cas grabbed various things from around the kitchen. "Dog food it is." He looked up. "Speaking of which..." He walked to the back sliding glass door and opened it. "Mystic!" He whistled. A large German Shepherd came running to him and jumped on him. "Hey girl! You miss me?" 

The dog then playfully licked Dean's face and jumped excitedly. Dean crouched down and petted her. 

"So... I have stuff for tacos. Tacos it is."

"Tacos are fine." Dean stood up and Mystic trotted off. Dean brushed off his shirt. "Need any help?"

"Are you any good at cooking ground beef?"

"Well, Cas, I think you know that I know how to handle meat."

Cas nodded. "Touche. Carry on then." 

About half an hour later, they sat down to eat the tacos. Dean snuck bits of taco meat under the table to Mystic. 

"Cas?"

"'Sup?"

"I missed this."

Cas smiled and looked at Dean. "Yeah, me too."

"You know what? This isn't us."

Cas looked at Dean, confused. "Ummmm, what? Wanna clue me in there, sparky?"

"Since when do we ever just lay low and stay quiet. I mean really. This isn't our style, and it certainly isn't yours."

"You have a point, Winchester. I don't typically like to stay quiet."

"No, you don't." 

Cas sat back in his seat and looked at Dean. Jeez, he had missed him. "Dean, are you suggesting that we go out, say fuck the paparazzi minions, and make a scene?" Cas raised his eyebrows at Dean. 

Dean looked at Cas with a crooked smile. "You're damn right I am." 

Cas laughed. "You're publicist is going to hate you for this. And so is mine. But what the hell. Let's go cause a problem." 

They finished their food and cleaned up. Then they took a nap. Several hours later, Dean walked back into Cas' room from the bathroom, his hair slightly spiked and he was wearing a pair of older, worn jeans and a blue button down. His breath hitched when he saw Cas.

Cas had done his hair into a short mohawk-style. He was wearing his worn dark skinny jeans, the ones with the holes in the right knee and left thigh. White t-shirt under his black leather jacket, blue eyes standing out like fire. Castiel turned around and grinned at Dean, who stood speechless. Cas walked up to Dean and pulled him in for a kiss.

"Come on, Winchester. This town doesn't know what's about to hit 'em."

Dean honked the horn of the Impala. Cas rolled down the window and sat. "Charlie! Get your ass out here!" He yelled, banging on the hood as Dean honked more. Charlie opened her window. "What the hell guys?" 

Cas flashed a smile, slid out through the window and leaned against the Impala. "Quite doesn't suit us. Now get in loser, we're goin on a road trip!" 

"Shouldn't I pack first?"

Cas pulled out his wallet then his credit card, waving it. "Got it covered."

"Alright! I'll be down in a sec!" 

About thirty seconds later, Charlie burst out of her front door. "That was fast," Cas said. Dean shook his head. "Dude. You waved your plastic at her. Of course she moved fast."

Charlie popped into the back seat and tossed her purse to the floor. "So," she propped herself in between the front seats. "Where are we going?" 

"Kansas City."

"Hey maybe I can call Meg and we can finally play the game we talked about all those years ago." Cas turned in the seat and looked at her. "You and Meg still going? Damn I'm impressed."

"And no Charlie, we're not gonna play 'who comes first' just because we're going to the bar you invented it at." Charlie squeled. "You mean the bar Cas got hit on by a woman?" 

"No, the bar I got us into with the fake ID'S I made."

"It's the same bar..."

Cas laughed and looked at Dean. "One of these days, she'll be able to catch up." 

"Hey! Is this gonna be a let's pick on Charlie trip? I didn't sign up for that!"

"Come on Charlie, you know we do it because we love you." Dean said as he pulled into a parking garage parking on the third level. "So turns out, Meg is already her. She's meeting us at the bar." 

"God, just like a few years ago." Cas smiled.

"I think we got what we asked for." Dean looked at Cas.

"If you mean an insane night out that is sure to make headlines and leave people wondering what the heck our game is, then hell yeah we did."

Dean smiled and got out. Walking around and opening both Cas' and Charlie's door. Cas got out and put his arms around the two. "Let's get into some trouble." 

They walked up to the bar and flashed their new fake ID's as soon as the bouncer looked at Cas' he looked at him. "Aren't you the lead singer of Join The Hunt?"

"Yeah."

"Dude, you're awesome! These two with you?"

"Yup. Got one more joining us. Meg Masters."

"Cool, head on in."

Cas put his arms around the two. "Get ready for a wild night rock star style."   
They headed to the bar and Cas ordered three shots. He held up the small glass. "Welcome to the dark side." The glasses connected with a clink and the three downed their shots and slammed the glasses on the bar.   
"Wooo! This is what I needed," Dean said as he slammed his shot glass down. Cas raised his empty glass. "Another, bar wench!"

The bar tender shot him a look, but smiled and winked when she realized who he was. She quickly brought the three another round. "What's the occasion?" She asked as she handed Dean his shot. "I thought you two weren't a thing anymore."

Cas downed his shot. "Well, thanks to a small misunderstanding, we weren't for a minute. But that's all cleared up and here we are." Cas quickly leaned in a pulled Dean in for a sloppy kiss. "See? All good. Don't be afraid to just keep the shots coming. I'll start a tab."   
She smiled. "No problem." She moved down the bar. 

"Wait, isn't that the woman that hit on you last time?" Charlie exclaimed. Cas look a closer look. "Well isn't it just a small world." He smiled. He looked around the packed bar, already noticing a few paparazzi. He looked at Dean and smiled. "Seems the bouncer let slip my whereabouts." He wagged his eyebrows. "Party time." 

He climbed up on the bar. "Hey fuckers! I want to make a toast! Hold up your shots or beer or whatever the fuck you're drinking!" Just like that, all eyes were on him. The paparazzi immediately started taking pictures. Cas pulled Dean up on the bar next to him and put his arm around him. "To my boyfriend Dean! What can I say? He just can't stay away from me!" He drank the shot. "Now let's fucking party!"

The whole bar erupted with cheers. "This rounds on me!" He jumped down from the bar then leaned against it. "That outta get em talking." He smiled taking another shot." Dean looked at Cas and shook his head. "What? You wanted a night out, that's what you got, sweet cheeks," Cas said to him. Dean kissed Cas on the forehead. "And it's awesome. Now, you stay here. I'll be right back."

"Don't make out with anyone."

"Asshat."

Dean walked over to a jukebox in the corner and put his quarters in. He scanned through the songs and found the perfect one. He hit play.

Cas was doing another shot when he heard the Nine Inch Nails kick on. He did yet another shot when the lyrics came on. 

Help me... the only thing that works for me... help me get away from myself....

Cas turned in his chair and faced the jukebox. Dean was standing there, eyeing Cas. "Oh, you did not just do that. Brave, brave soul." Dean just laughed. "Oh I think I just did. What are you gonna do about it Novak?" Cas walked right up to Dean and put his hands on his hips and pulled him in. "Oh, you have no idea."

Dean put his hands on Cas' hips. Both impossibly close. It only took a few seconds for them to start moving in time with the music and dancing like horny teenage at a rave. Both holding each other by the hips and grinding on one another. 

Their foreheads touching, their breath mingled. Dean smelled the familiar sent of axe body spray, leather, and cigarettes. He was laser focused on Cas, who in turn, has those electric blue eyes focused on him. Cas' hands found their way under Dean's shirt, exploring his torso and chest, fingers moving quickly and delicately over the skin. 

Dean did the same, moving his hands around Cas' back and just under the waist of his jeans. Dean moved his hips against Cas', noticing a lump in between his thighs. Dean moved again and heard a small moan come from Cas. 

Cas' eyes slipped closed as Dean moved again. He knew people were watching, including the paparazzi. And he didn't care. He opened his eyes an looked at Dean. 

'I wanna fuck you like an animal...I wanna feel you from the inside...'

Cas grabbed Dean by the hand and led him through the sea of people. 

He pulled him into the bathroom to one of the stalls, locking the door and pushing Dean against the wall. Dean laughed a little. "Oh yeah?”

"Dean. Don't talk."

Cas leaned forward and took Dean's mouth into his own, thrusting his tongue in and exploring the interior of Dean's mouth as if it were the first time. He pinned Dean's hips to the wall with his hands and held him there. Dean smiled against his lips. Cas moved from Dean's lips to his neck, claiming Dean as his. Dean tilted his head back with a soft moan. 

Cas moved his hands down to the waistline of Dean's jeans and unbuttoned them. He moved down and took the zipper between his teeth and pulled down. Then took the fabric in his hands and yanked them down to Dean's ankles before straightening. Cas undid his own zipper and pushed his jeans to the floor. 

He began to grind his hips against Dean's so that their elections were pressed together. Dean reached down and took Cas in his hand, stroking him roughly, twisting a little when he reached the head. Cas threw his head back and stifled a yell.

Dean smiled. He knew what Cas would want next. Dean slid down the wall so that his face was level with Cas' hips. He took Cas' erection in his mouth. He heard Cas let out a long sigh as he braced himself on the wall. Cas matched Dean's rhythm and worked his hips in unison with Dean's mouth. He felt himself getting close.

"Dean..."

Dean pulled away. "Yeah?"

Cas pulled Dean up to full height and flipped him around. Cas pushed Dean against the stall and rubbed against Dean's hole, letting the precome become a natural lube, then, slowly, he pushed himself inside. He moved his head closed to Dean's, mouth right next to his ear. "I wanna fuck you like an animal." He whispered just as he thrust himself the rest of the way inside. 

Between Cas whispering harshly in his ear and the feeling of Cas being inside him so suddenly, Dean almost went over the edge. As Cas began to push and pull, Dean felt his eyes close and he tipped his head back. Cas had nestled his head in Dean's shoulder and nipped at his ear lobe. Cas was breathing in Dean's ear, shallow and erratic. "Dean" He breathed, kissing Dean's neck. 

"Yeah?" 

A few breaths of silence. 

"I love you."

Cas couldn't see it, as Dean's face was against the bathroom wall, but Dean smiled when he heard Cas' words. "I love you too" Dean said breathlessly. Cas drove deeper into Dean when he heard him say it, his hips moving more furiously. 

"God, Cas, that's so good. So good. Mmm..." Dean could barely hear his own voice. Cas pulled out and turned Dean so that they were facing each other, then replaced himself inside Dean. He took Dean's erection in his hand and began stroking him. He tilted his head up a little and devoured Dean's mouth in a heated kiss, pulling at his bottom lip a little. 

Dean moaned into Cas' mouth. "God Cas." He breathed. Cas smiled, watching as Dean's eyes slipped closed an bit his lip. He looked absolutely wrecked and Cas loved every second. He moved his hips and hand faster. 

Dean dug his nails into Cas' thigh. "Cas..." He moaned. Cas kissed him then pulled away just enough to say "yeah, that's it. Come for me babe." 

Dean felt his knees buckle and he slipped a little on the wall. He felt the heat growing in his groin and a pleasant pain. He couldn't hold back any longer. 

Cas gave one last deep thrust into Dean and Dean came undone, gripping Cas' thighs so hard that he was sure he would bruise him. Cas opened his eyes and saw Dean, completely wrecked, causing him to come inside of Dean. 

Cas let out a strangled yell as he finished. They stayed there for a minute or so before he pulled out and grabbed some toilet paper and cleaned himself and Dean off. They were still catching their breath as they pulled up their pants. 

Cas looked at Dean. "And just think, the night is still young." Dean kissed Cas again, biting his lip. "Oh, yours is coming. When you least expect it." Cas flashed a smile. "Don't threaten me with a good time Winchester." He took Dean by the hand. "Let's get back to the party I made."

Cas lead Dean back out to the main area of the bar. A few people were staring at them as they came out of the bathroom, to which Cas responded by adjusting his belt and winking. Dean smiled and pretend to fix his hair and shirt.

"They will definitely be talking about this." He said to Cas. They made their way back to the bar. "Did you two just have sex in the men's room?" Charlie raised an eyebrow. Cas winked and downed a shot. "Oh my God!" She smiled. "Bout damn time. You two so needed to relieve the sexual tension." 

Dean nodded as he downed his shot. "Yup. And now that's not a problem anymore." 

"Like I said, the night is young." Cas smiled giving Dean a quick kiss. A wicked smile crept on Cas' face. "Oh you are on. If it were legal, I'd fuck you right on the bar with everyone watching." Charlie gagged on her drink, nearly spitting it out. "Dudes! No! People drink on this thing..." 

"I fail to see your point Red." Cas smiled. 

"Well just at least warn me first so I can get the hell out of your way." Charlie looked around. 

"Where's Meg...? Oh there! I'm gonna go dance with my girl. Behave." Cas laughed. "And you've known me for how long?"

Cas and Dean spent the next several hours dancing way to close and practically having sex on the dance floor. Their hands and mouths were all over the place. They knew that people were watching, uploading videos and pictures, but they didn't care. 

They hadn't been able to just be together in a long time, even before they broke up. Sometime around three in the morning, they staggered into their hotel room. The door was barely shut and they didn't even turn the lights on when Dean shoved Cas against the door. They tore at each others clothes and Dean lead Cas to the bed, pushing him down onto the mattress. Sounds of heavy breathing, grunt, and moans filled the room as they brought each other into blissful completion. Cas and Dean passed out in each others arms in a mess of blankets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...what did you thing? Feel free to leave comments!


	14. I Think I Wanna...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! real quick update here...
> 
> As of a few updates ago, this story has been finished. Now, I'm trying to update this at least once a week because as of right now...Destiels_Desperate_Measures and myself are working on the sequel.
> 
> BUT!!!
> 
> There is still quite a bit to post for this one yet so...
> 
> ENJOY! 
> 
> OH! By the way, at this point in the story Dean and Cas are 20.
> 
> Song in the chapter:
> 
> Marry You By Bruno Mars

Cas woke up to sunlight drifting into the room. He blinked his eyes, adjusting to the light. Once he had adjusted to the brightness, he rolled over. A smile crept across his face. Dean was still sound asleep, his face mushed into the pillow and his sandy hair a mess. Cas pulled himself closer, resting his forehead on Dean's and their noses touching. He had really, really missed Dean. And it wasn't just the sex, which was amazing as usual. Watching his partner sleep, Castiel came to terms with how much he loved Dean. He kissed him softly, and then snuggled in for a little while longer. 

Dean slowly opened his eyes, feeling Cas' arm around him. He smiled, replaying the last twenty-four hours in his mind. From the school auditorium to falling asleep next to Cas. He closed his eyes and sighed contently, happier than ever before. 

He felt Cas' lips between his shoulder blades. "You awake?" Cas asked, voice still thick with sleep. Dean rolled on to his back, finding those breathtaking electric blue eyes. "Yeah." He moved to kiss his forehead. "Hell of a party." He added with a smile. Cas chuckled. "I never go anywhere without making myself known." 

Cas sat up and ran his fingers through his already messy hair. Dean smiled. "You know, I think this is the same room we were in during playoffs." He pulled Cas back down. "I think you're right" He smiled, kissing Dean gently on the lips. "We should just stay right here and make new memories and possibly break this bed." 

Cas flashed a crooked grin. Dean knew that smile all too well. It was a sign that Cas was up to no good as usual. Dean rolled his eyes. "Or we could get some breakfast with Charlie and Meg then cause more trouble and give our agents heart attacks." Dean suggested. Cas' wicked smile grew. "I knew there was a reason I fell in love with you."

Dean suddenly rolled so he was on top of Cas. "But, we could probably make a little time right now before we have to go."

Cas smiled and kissed Dean, pulling his hips as close to his own as possible. Dean broke the kiss briefly. "I love you, Castiel Novak." Then he reclaimed Cas' mouth and the two moved in unison, finally finishing together.

 

"Well what the hell, guys? Where have you been?" Charlie had her hands on her hips and was standing next to the table she and Meg had gotten in the diner.

"Well, you know I like to make an entrance."

"Yeah, yeah, you're so fashionably late. We get it. So.... how was your night? Get any sleep?" Meg had propped her head in her hands and was eyeing Cas and Dean with a shit eating grin on her face. Cas returned her look. "We slept just fine, thank you." Meg picked up her menu. "Uh-huh sure ya did. So what's good here? Char, what are you thinking..."

The girls discussed their food options. Cas was glancing through his menu when he felt a hand slide over his thigh. He leaned toward Dean. "Even I need food, babe," he whispered. Dean sighed, looking at the menu also. "Yeah I know." Cas planted a kiss on Dean's cheek.

The waitress came and took everyone's orders; pancakes for Charlie, waffles for Meg, a farmer's omelet for Dean, and Spanish scrambled eggs for Cas. Plates of bacon and sausage were shared. 

"So where to next, oh captain my captain?" Charlie looked at Cas.

Cas looked up. "Well, this kid here wanted to make some noise and cause a ruckus, so I bought us all plane tickets to Vegas."

Charlie dropped her fork. "Seriously?! Vegas?! Holy crap!" Cas pulled the tickets out of his pocket and passed them around. "First class. Being a rock star does have it's advantages." He smiled. "Well what are we waiting for?!" Charlie exclaimed. Cas laughed. "First, since we didn't pack, we'll need clothes. I figured we'd hit up the mall." 

"You're the best Cas!"

"It's been said. And since the band is in the studio recording our next album, I thought you guys would like to go to LA." Dean nearly spat out his food. "I get to see you in the studio?" Cas looked at Dean. "Yup. They normally don't let significant others in to watch, but they made an exception." "This is so awesome!" Charlie danced in her seat. 

"And not just for one day either. We actually want to do a video of the process and release it on DVD with the album. That's where you come in Charlie. You'll be filming the whole process." Charlie jumped out of her seat and hopped around. "Seriously?! Oh my fucking God Cas that's amazing! I can't even begin to.... OH MY GOD!" 

"You're welcome." He laughed. Dean pulled him close. "You're amazing, you know that?" Cas smiled. "It's been said." Kissing Dean before getting up. "Alright ladies and boyfriend, our plane leaves in two hours. Let's go shopping."

Cas threw a wad of cash down on the table, way more than the bill actually was, and the four headed out. They went to several stores, buying dress clothes, casual clothes, and everything in between. Dean snuck his way into an adult specialty store and picked up a few items. If the were going to Las Vegas, Dean wanted to make it an extra special time for both of them. He met the others outside of White House/Black Market. Charlie and Meg looked like they just had the best day ever and had bags overflowing with clothes and shoes. 

"Cas we can never pay you back for all this." Meg gave Cas a big hug.

"Well, I do have an almost infinite amount of money available, so I really don't mind." Cas spied a black bag among the others in his hand. "What's that?" Dean shrugged. "A surprise." Cas linked his arm in Dean's. "Well I do like surprises."

A short time later, they were in line to board the plane. They handed their tickets to the person at the gate and made their way on. Once seated, Cas leaned over and rested his head on Dean's shoulder.

"I know you don't like planes, so I got you a mp3 player with a bunch of songs to take your mind of it. Even though the flight is only an hour and a half long, it will probably feel longer for you. I put a bunch of 80's rock on there and threw in a couple of mine." Dean smiled at him. "Thanks Cas."

Cas gave Dean a peck on the cheek and gave him the mp3 player. He pulled out a book for himself. Dean put the headphones on and played the music.   
The plane ride went smoother than Dean thought it would and they landed without a hitch. The four disembarked and made their way out of the airport to a private shuttle.

The shuttle took them to a large building. Meg squealed. "Cas... this is the Bellagio.... how much did you spend?!"

"That is none of your business. And you're welcome."

"How did you get this rich in two years?" Charlie's jaw practically hit the ground. "By working my ass off every night to sell my music. I still work my ass off. Not to mention my irresponsible charm gets me on almost every radio station in the country." Dean smacked Cas' ass. "That's my man. Always doing what it takes."

"That's why I'm going to have to go to the studio while on my vacation. I'm always working. But it's how you move forward and make your brand."  
They got to the check in desk. Cas stepped forward. "Checking in. Two king suites for Castiel J. Novak. I reserved them yesterday." The clerk looked up, startled. "Oh! Yes, Mr Novak." The clerk reached for the keys, eyeing Dean as she handed them to Cas. She looked him up and down, and Cas couldn't blame her for it, he was pretty gorgeous after all. He took Dean's hand. "Sorry, he's taken. Thank you." Cas took the room keys and gave two to Meg and Charlie and kept the others for himself and Dean. They took their luggage to the elevator and made their way to the floor they were staying on.

Charlie and Meg opened their room and went in. "Holy shit!" Cas laughed at the girls' reaction. "That good, huh?" Dean asked. "Just wait. Ours is better." Cas took Dean's hand and lead him down the hall, almost to the end. He stopped in front of a heavy oak door. "I hope you're wearing extra underwear, because you're about to crap yourself."

Cas opened the door. Dean stepped in and couldn't even begin to process what he was seeing.

The suite was huge. The main room had a leather sofa and recliner with dark, hardwood tables and an 80 inch tv. He made his way around to the small kitchen area, and then to the bedroom. A California King bed with seemingly endless pillows, a hot tub, and a sofa were placed nicely around the room. A large bathroom was off of the room. Dean put his hands on his hips and looked around. 

"Babe, you have outdone yourself. This is.... beyond anything...."

Cas snaked his arm around Dean's waist. "A thank you would suffice. Or a blow job. Either works."

Dean pulled Cas in. "Oh, I think I can do better than that." Dean took Cas' mouth in his and kissed him deeply, tongue exploring the depths. Cas moaned. And then a knock on the door.

"Fuck."

"Not today apparently. At least, not right now." Cas took a calming breath and opened the door. "Ladies."

"Ohmygosh this place is amazing!" Charlie yelled, wrapping Cas in a hug almost tackling him to the floor. "Did you look in the closet? There's a surprise in there you're gonna need for LA." He smiled. They all walked to the girls room. Charlie walked straight to the over sized closet and opened it, seeing a case and pulled it off the shelf. She set it on the table and opened it. "Holy-" 

"Thought you'd need a new one for the studio process."

"A brand new video camera?! Holy shit!"

"You're welcome." Cas put his hands in his pockets. "This is awesome Cas!" 

"Yeah, well, I try."

Charlie gave Cas another hug before grabbing her camera out and looking it over.

"Alright, ladies. Me and my handsome boyfriend are going out for a minute. We'll meet up for dinner later. In the lobby. Wear something fancy."

Dean and Cas went back to their own room. Cas began to change out of his sweats that he traveled in and pulled on dark skinny jeans and a blue t-shirt. Dean chose faded dark blue jeans that fit his curves a little more than usual and a black t-shirt. Cas turned and saw what Dean was wearing.

"Damn, Winchester. Haven't seen that ass in those jeans before. Changing up your game?"

"Gotta keep you on your toes, babe." 

Cas moved so he was behind Dean and grabbed his ass. "It's like, 3D. I don't have to try and imagine it with your clothes on anymore."

Dean sighed. "Are you done inspecting my rear? I thought you wanted to get going?"

Cas gave each cheek a final squeeze for good measure. "I'm just making sure all is well back here."

Dean rolled his eyes. "So where are we going for dinner?" 

Cas smiled. "It's a surprise."

Thirty minutes later, the taxi stopped and the four got out. "Welcome to the good life." Cas smiled. They were standing in front of Gordon Ramsey's steakhouse. "I've only eaten here once just to see if the dude really is as good as they say, and he is."

"Please pinch me..." Charlie said. Cas pinched her arm. She slapped his arm. 

"What? You said pinch you."

"Please tell me you haven't met Gordon Ramsey."

Cas shrugged. "Okay." He started walking to the entrance.

Cas lead the group inside, linking arms with Dean. They arrived at the hostess desk, where a pretty girl asked for the name of the party. "Novak."  
She looked up at the group. "Mr Novak! Pleasure to have you again. We have reserved the back table for you, as usual."

"Thanks, Leah." He slid a folded up fifty dollar bill to her. She smiled and directed the other hostess to seat them.

"As usual? Leah? Mr Novak? How often do you come here?"

Cas shrugged. "We had a couple of events here, and once I came here with the band just to eat. They treat me well." 

They arrived at their table, in a quiet corner with candles lit. They took their seats, followed swiftly by a waiter dressed in a tux. 

"Good evening, Castiel. Mr Gordon has a special tasting menu planned for you and your guests tonight. He is very excited to meet Mr Winchester."

The waiter poured waters for the table and left. Dean looked at Cas. "Did he just say that Gordon Ramsey was excited to meet me?"

"Yeah... I may have mentioned the last time I was here that I was dating the QB for the Longhorns. He's a big fan."

Dean almost choked on his water. "You're joking." 

Cas smiled. "Hey, I was surprised too." He took a drink of his water. A few minutes later, Cas saw Gordon walking over to their table. Cas stood up and shook his hand with a smile. "Castiel, lovely to see you again." Gordon smiled. "Pleasure as always." He added. Cas motioned to Dean. "Gordon, this is Dean Winchester, my boyfriend." Dean stood up and shook Gordon's hand. "Ah yes, the famous Longhorns quarterback. Made quite a name for yourself freshman year didn't you? Most yards thrown in a single season and not one single sack." 

Dean smiled. "Well, I try."

"Nonsense, I'm surprised you haven't been drafted to the NFL yet."

Cas smiled. "And these are my friends Charlie Bradbury and Meg Masters." 

Gordon shook their hands as well. "Lovely to meet you all. Are you sure you won't help out in the kitchen Castiel?" Cas laughed. "Yeah, I don't think so."

Gordon looked at Dean. "Has Castiel ever cooked for you? He's a wonder in the kitchen. Seriously talented. If he ever decided to change careers, I'd train him myself."

Dean smiled. "Well, he has but sounds like he's been holding out on me. Guess I'll have to have him make something big one of these times."

Gordon kissed the girls' hands and shook hands with Dean. Then he gave Castiel a quick hug. "Well I need to he getting back to my staff but if you need anything at all or have any requests, just ask. Anything ."

"Thanks, Gordon."

As Gordon headed back to the kitchen, Charlie stared at Cas with her mouth gaping open. "Did that really just happen?! I think I'm dead."

"Close your mouth, you'll attract flies. And I told you being a rock star comes with its advantages." He smiled. "I can't believe I just met one of the best chefs in the world." 

Charlie sat back in her chair. "I can't believe he wanted to meet me." 

Cas smiled. "Too bad there's not butter on the table. Then I can say 'and I can't believe it's not butter.'” He smiled. “Anyway, I figured after dinner, we could go see a movie.”

“Why a movie?” Dean asked.

Cas' smile just widened. “Oh...reasons.”

After dinner they walked to the theater. Cas bought the tickets and handed them to Dean. "You guys go in. There's something I need to do real quick." He gave Dean a quick kiss and walked off. "Any idea what he's talking about?" Dean asked the girls. They shrugged. "Maybe he has to pee." Meg said. Charlie linked arms with Dean. "Come on, let's go get our seats. He'll find us." 

"Yeah, you're right." Dean offered his other arm to Meg, who smiled at him and took it. The three strolled into   
the theater. 

Cas climbed the stairs to the projection booth and opened the door. "Hey Rufus. Thanks for helping me." The man turned to Cas. "No problem kid. Got the video?" Cas handed him a flash drive. Rufus took it and download the contents. He played with a few things for a minute. "Alright, everything is set. It'll come on before the previews." 

Cas smiled at Rufus. "Thanks man." 

"Anytime, son." 

Cas turned and left the booth, making his way down to the entrance of the theater. He scoped out Dean and the girls, inhaling deeply before heading up to them.   
"Hey, where were you? The previews are about to come on?" Charlie threw popcorn at him. "We had to get the snacks ourselves!" Cas leaned over Dean and grabbed a handful of popcorn, throwing a few kernels at her. "Bathroom." He smiled, giving her a wink. 

"Yeah, well the girls were about to send me in as search and rescue." Dean said. Cas leaned in and planted a deep, slow kiss on Dean's lips. "Yeah, and then neither of us would have watched the movie." 

"Okay guys, put it back in your pants. The previews are starting." 

"Whatever, Megan." 

"Shut it Clarence." Meg through a Twizzler at him. Cas shook his head and looked at the screen. His heart started racing when the green preview thing came up. 

The video started with Cas standing outside on his balcony. "Hi everyone. Sorry to interrupt the movie, but this won't take to long...I hope. Anyway, hope you enjoy my video." 

Cas looked at Dean who had a very confused look. He turned to Cas. "Just watch." He smiled. Dean turned back to the screen just in time to see both of them back in school. Charlie was filming them as they walked. 

"Really Red? Do you have to film us?" Cas tried to grab the camera. 

"Of course I do. Someone has to tell your love story to the world." 

Cas just rolled his eyes and put his arm around Dean. Dean whispered something and Cas smiled. Then both boys chased Charlie down the hall. 

Dean looked at Cas who rolled his eyes. "Just watch." 

Dean smiled and took Cas' hand, immediately making a face. 

"You're palms are sweaty. That only happens when you're nervous." 

"I'm not nervous," Cas whispered. His voice cracked. 

Cas put on a fedora and looked at himself in the mirror, fixing his skinny white tie and straightened his vest   
that was over a metallic blue button up that matched his eyes. 

It's a beautiful night ,   
We're looking for something dumb to do   
Hey baby   
I think I want to marry you   
He walked out of the room and down the hall.   
Is it the look in your eyes?   
Or is it these dancing juice?   
Who cares baby   
I think I wanna marry you 

He walked out the door and down the sidewalk. 

Well I know this little chapel on the boulevard we can go   
No one will know   
Oh come on boy 

He spun around and did a little slide. 

Who cares if we're trashed got a pocket full of cash we can blow 

He shrugged and threw some money in the air. People started scrambling for the money, pushing him out of   
the way. He brushed himself off and kept dancing down the sidewalk. 

Shots of patron   
And it's on boy   
Don't say no, no, no, no no   
Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah   
And we'll go, go, go, go go   
If you're ready, like I'm ready

Then he spotted Dean who had ear buds in and started to follow him. 

Cause it's a beautiful night   
We're looking for something dumb to do   
Hey baby   
I think I wanna marry you   
Is it the look in your eyes?   
Or is it the dancing juice?   
Who cares baby   
I think I wanna marry you   
I'll go get a ring let the choir bells sing like oooh   
So what you wanna do?   
Let's just run boy 

He danced around Dean who just looked at him and shook his head. 

If we wake up and you wanna break up that's cool   
No, I won't blame you   
It was fun boy   
Don't say no, no, no, no no   
Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah   
And we'll go, go, go, go go   
If you're ready, like I'm ready   
Cause it's a beautiful night,   
We're looking for something dumb to do   
Hey baby   
I think I wanna marry you.   
Is it the look in your eyes?   
Or is it this dancing juice?   
Who cares baby,   
I think I wanna marry you.   
Just say I do,   
Tell me right now baby,   
Tell me right now baby, baby   
Just say I do   
Tell me right now baby,   
Tell me right now baby, baby   
Oh it's a beautiful night   
We're looking for something dumb to do   
Hey baby   
I think I wanna marry you   
Is it the look in your eyes?   
Or is it this dancing juice?   
Who cares baby   
I think I wanna marry you. 

He linked arms with Dean and looked back at the camera and winked. 

Dean turned in his seat and looked at Cas, who was beaming up at him. Dean licked his lips. 

"Cas...?" 

"Well I'm not usually one for formalities but, hey what the fuck." Cas took a deep breath. 

"Dean." Cas slid out of his seat and onto one knee in front of Dean. 

"Henry." He pulled a small box from his pocket. 

"Winchester." Cas opened the box and flashed his blue eyes back at Dean, smiling from ear to ear. Dean   
locked eyes with Cas. 

"I... I don't know what to say..." 

"Then say yes, you twat." 

Dean laughed and shook his head. "Cas... Castiel yes. Yes I will marry you!" He pulled Cas in close and kissed him. 

"Wait. You probably want the flashy part." Cas grabbed Dean's left hand and slid the black band with white-gold inlay and single diamond onto his ring finger. Through the whole thing, Charlie could barely contain herself. Now she had her hand over her mouth and squealing, stamping her feet on the floor. Cas rolled his eyes. "Calm down Red, you're gonna hemorrhage." 

A muffled squeal came from her direction. Cas laughed and, looked up at Dean, who was now standing. Dean took Cas' other hand and pulled him up. Other people in the theater caught on and took pictures as the two kissed. Charlie was naturally recording. Cas pulled away and flipped Charlie off. She sighed. "Do   
you have to ruin everything?" 

"I like to think I'm making improvements." 

"Yeah, horrible ones." 

"Come on Red, you're life would be boring without me. Hell you've recorded my life since the moment we met. Hell, that's how we met. You walked up to me at lunch and shoved a camera in my face." 

Charlie smiled smugly. "Had to break the ice somehow." Cas stuck his tongue out at her. He turned back to Dean. 

"Ready to watch this movie? The real one, not my awesome music video, that is." 

"Sitting is probably a good idea seeing how I can't feel my feet right now." 

"Are you really that shocked?" 

"No." Dean grinned. "Just that happy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...thoughts? How did you like Cas' proposal? 
> 
> till next chapter...
> 
> Laters!


	15. How About A Little Album With Your Wedding Sir?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I know I haven't updated in awhile, sorry about that. Life has been crazy. I got dumped, so I've been dealing with that, been trying to find a job so I can get out of my brothers house, planning a wedding, and I had no internet access. But hopefully it's back to the regularly scheduled program so without further ado...CHAPTER 15!
> 
> Songs in the chapter
> 
> Here's to the zeros by Marianas Trench (written as JTH)  
> Porcelain by Marianas Trench (Written as JTH)  
> One Love by Marianas Trench (Written as JTH)  
> Beside You by Marianas Trench (Written as JTH)

Cas woke up the next morning finally being able to move. He had no idea how Dean made him damn near completely immobile and even unable to talk for a minute. He looked over to see Dean facing him, snoring. He smiled. He slowly got out of bed and grabbed some boxers and a pair of worn ripped black skinny jeans with slits going from the pocket to the knees. After he slipped them on, he grabbed his cigarettes and walked out to the balcony. He lit the cigarette then stretched. The sun was up and the city still moving. He looked down at the engagement ring on his finger and smiled. They had been through so much. He would sometimes wonder why Dean chose to stay with him back in high school, but he knew why. Even then, Dean loved him.

Cas smiled as he looked back at his sleeping fiance. They had been through damn near everything at this point. He put out the butt of his cigarette and walked back inside just as Dean was waking up.

"Morning, master."

"Master?"

"Well, after last night it's clear that you one hundred percent own this so I figure I'll give you a title."

Dean laughed. "Extra attitude this morning?"

"I have to make up for what I couldn't do last night. It's gonna be a long morning."

Dean sat up. "So what's next for today?" Cas plopped down on the bed. "First, we have to see if the girls are alive. Then we eat breakfast and go to LA."

Dean rubbed his face. "Oh yeah. The girls. I... forgot about them. I wonder if they called at all."

"I didn't hear a phone go off."

"I might have silenced them."

Cas nodded. "Sneaky. I like. Alright, get dressed. We have a plane to catch and I have music to record."

"Can't wait to see that." Dean smiled.

An two hours later, they touched down in LA. As they walked through the airport, a lot of people would stop Cas and asking for pictures or an autograph. Some even asked Dean for pictures. They met up with the band and walked out of the airport. Cas turned around and stopped the three. "First things first. I have a taxi taking you guys to my place because I have to jump right into shit at the studio. There's more than enough room for you guys. Well, Dean will obviously be sleeping in my bed but there's a spare room for you two."

"Wooo! Party at Cas' place!"

"Calm down, slut."

"Not my style, dick."

Cas sighed. "When do I get to come see you?" Dean asked. "Later today. We have some preliminary stuff that's pretty boring so I'll have someone come get you guys. I'll call first."

Dean moved in closer. "Alright sounds good. I'm going to nap until then."

"Wore yourself out last night, huh?" Cas was grinning.

"Watch it or I'll tie you down again."

"Why on earth do you think that would make me behave? If anything I'll just cause more trouble if that's the punishment. Your taxi's here." Cas kissed Dean. "Until later today, master."

The three climbed into the taxi. Charlie looked at Dean. "Master? Did I miss something?" Dean just looked at her and winked.

"Well okay then."

"He couldn't talk."

Meg popped her head around Charlie. "You deserve an award."

"Screw that! He deserves the Nobel Peace prize." Charlie said. Dean just laughed.

Cas walked into the studio and quickly realized, of course, nothing got done while he was away. So he cracked his knuckles and got down to business. "Alright guys, album time." For the better part of three hours Cas was running around the studio putting music tracks on the sound board and writing lyrics to put to said music. Not to mention his agent had been blowing up his phone about the events of the previous night which had taken the media by storm.

Cas decided he should stop ignoring his agent and called him back.

"Castiel! You're alive."

"Indeed, Bill. What?"

"Well, I heard you got engaged last night to the football player. Congrats. Could have warned me so I knew to expect the aftermath. Oh, and a video of you, Dean, and two lady friends in a movie theater with a music video proposal. Care to explain?"

"Well, it's pretty self-explanatory."

Bill sighed. "I guess I should be used to your craziness by now."

"You would think. It's not like this is new or anything. Oh heads up, Dean will be here later. Thought you might want to know."

"Just... behave. You know where the Windex is."

Cas acted shocked. "Bill! I'm working. Do you really think I'd... yeah never mind I would. I'll be a good boy for you. This time."

"Good. I'll be by to check on you all later. Bye."

"Bye."

Cas turned to the sound booth where the band had been running through the music. "Think we can lay one down?" They all nodded. Cas clapped his hands. "Let's get to it, then."

"Just let me go pick up the kids and we'll get this party started!"

He took a taxi to his place since his car was at his house. He pushed open the door. "Lucy, I'm home!" He called. The three walked out and met Cas at the door. "Grab your camera Charlie, you've got some filming to do."

They walked to the garage and Cas unlocked his brand new Mustang. Charlie whistled. "We're taking this?" Cas opened the driver door. "Well, I can't fit all of you on my bike, which I still have by the way." They got in the car and Cas started it up. The mustang roared to life. "Damn Novak." Meg said. "Doesn't sound near as good as the Impala but she'll do." He hit the button and the garage door opened. With a screech of the tires, they were off.

When they got to the studio, Charlie started recording. Cas looked at the camera. "Alright kids, third album. Try to keep up." He smiled as he backed into the door. They walked down a narrow hallway and Cas opened a door. "Welcome to the dark side." He wagged his eyebrows. He walked in and went right to the sound bored. "This is Michael, our producer. And you guys already know the band members, if not...the fuck is wrong with you?" Cas looked at Michael. "Ready for me Mike?"

"Whenever you are."

"Cool. Alright, uh, let's do here's to the zeros first." He jumped up and went to the booth.

Dean sat down in one chairs outside of the booth next to the producer. "You ever watched him work before?"

Dean shook his head. "No, I haven't. Hoping to do a lot more of it though." Mike nodded, spying Dean's left hand.

"When did that happen?" Dean was confused for a moment. "Oh.. yeah. Last night. Still getting used to it."

"Congrats." Mike hit a button on the board. "Go for it, guys."

Cas pulled a bunch of papers out of his pocket, find the one he needed and putting the head phones on. "Alright, run it." He said in the mic. The music started to play. Cas waited, looking down at the lyrics. Then sang.

****

Cas stepped out of the booth and plopped himself next to Mike, brushing his hand across Dean's lower back as he passed by. Dean watched as Cas put on the headphones and listened. He was so focused when he worked and Dean loved to watch him. He would definitely be doing this more often of he could.

Cas moved his head with the music, swiveling in the chair and drumming his fingers. He played with a few knobs on the sound board and played it back. After a few minutes he took the headphones off and nodded. "Yeah, I like it." He stood up. "Next victim on the Cas show!" He rubbed his head and moved to the other side of the studio with the band. He grabbed his guitar and they slowly formed another song.

Every now and then he'd stop and write something or call out a mistake someone made. Charlie was practically glued to his hip filming. The only time he'd get a little frustrated is when someone would make the same mistake over and over.

"Adam, dude. It's not a fucking D cord you fucktard! It's a fucking G for Christ sake." He told Adam for the thousandth time.

Charlie zoomed in on Cas' face, who looked deadpan into the camera. "If it was legal, I'd beat him. No seriously. I'm the youngest person in the band and I work circles around these asshats." He winked. Adam threw his pick at Cas. "Get the fuck outta here with that shit." Adam laughed. Cas started playing his guitar and sang "Oh, I swear to God if you throw another pick then I swear to fucking God I'll chop off your fucking dick because hey...it's not like you use it anyway." Everyone burst into laughter.

"And when's the last time you got some, eh Cas?"

Cas strummed his guitar. "Last night if you must know. So still doing better than Adam." Everyone laughed again. "Alright, what's next?"

For the next several hours, the band recorded a few more tracks, Charlie got more footage, and Meg and Dean played a lot of I Spy. Dean was having the time of his life, and watching the love of his life do what he did best was amazing.

"It's pretty fucking sad a gay guy can get more pussy than you can in a week so Adam...why don't you try sucking dick"

"Alright asstiel."

"Well I do like a little ass." Cas looked at Dean and winked.

"Alright back to work guys." Michael said. Cas threw Adam's pick back at him, still smiling then turned back to the paper in front of him. He put his pick between his teeth and wrote a few things down, immediately getting back to business.

About an hour later, every member had recorded their part for the song, Cas strapped on his guitar in the sound recording room and put some headphones on. "Hit it." He told Michael, getting ready to play. The music started to play. Cas rocked on his heels for a second before adding his contribution on guitar.

When he was done he set his guitar on the stand and made his way to the sound board, putting on another pair of headphones. It was already late, almost midnight. He played the track back and played with the sound board. His head fell to the back of the chair, swiveling in it and looking at the ceiling and taking a hit from the cigarette he just lit. The music ended and he took the headphones off as he stood. "Alright, let's get the vocals and call it good for the day." He stretched, shirt coming up and showing off his hips a little.

He walked in the booth and put the headphones on, taking the written lyrics from his pocket. He stifled a yawn and gave Michael the thumbs up. The music played and he waited a few seconds before singing.

 _ **Hey kids, do you wanna do what I do?**_  
 _ **I got sick, got kicked out of high school.**_  
 _ **I guess then, I kinda got arrested,**_  
 _ **With a car and a chase and a drug test.**_  
  
_**But these days, they don't wanna be near that.**_  
 _ **'Cause if it's selling records they don't wanna hear that.**_  
 _ **Clean cut, we do it like Disney.**_  
 _ **Well adjusted, trusted, trust me.**_  
  
_**Party anthems get them dancin'.**_  
 _ **Well I'm the king of second chancin'.**_  
 _ **Airbrush, shiny, notoriety.**_  
 _ **They disappear into the back to go and get high-ity.**_  
  
  
_**Hey! Ho!**_  
 _ **Where did all the good go?**_  
 _ **Baby, this is where you're dead wrong.**_  
 _ **Alright!**_  
 _ **Hey! Ho!**_  
 _ **Here's to all the zeroes!**_  
 _ **And every misfit,**_  
 _ **And all my down and outs.**_  
 _ **[2x]**_  
  
_**You don't sing, you got a young look so,**_  
 _ **It's nothing auto tune can't fix though.**_  
 _ **MTV don't play videos.**_  
 _ **And no guitar is allowed on the radio.**_  
  
_**These days, I kinda just pretend so,**_  
 _ **I guess I don't mind, it depends though.**_  
 _ **I get stuck to every innuendo.**_  
 _ **But it doesn't seem to matter in the end so,**_  
  
_**They say, "Where's the next hit, baby? ".**_  
 _ **God, how could I top 'Call Me Maybe'?**_  
 _ **Well I'm delirious, she's bi-curious.**_  
 _ **Let's disappear into the back to go and get serious...**_  
  
_**[Chorus 2x]**_  
  
  
_**Oh oh, "Hallelujah" up for ransom.**_  
 _ **Cash value for hashtag "anthems".**_  
 _ **Sing it now!**_  
  
_**"Hallelujah" up for ransom.**_  
 _ **Woa-ooh!**_  
 _ **Cash value for hashtag "anthems". [3x]**_  
 _ **Ooooh, yeah yeah yeah! I sing "hallelujah"! Hallelujah! Yeah!**_  
 _ **Hey, ho! Where did all the good go?**_  
 _ **Hey, ho!**_  
  
_**Where'd the rock and roll go?**_

_**[Chorus]** _

 

Throughout the song, he stopped and corrected what he messed up, getting more frustrated with each mistake. He ran his hand down his face and looked at the ceiling. "Alright from the last chorus one more time Cas."

"Fuck my life. I swear you're trying to kill me. Everyone better have the background vocals before I come back tomorrow." He looked back down at the lyrics. "Alright one more time."

When he was done, he walked back behind the sound board and listened, sinking in the seat. After he listened, he gave the green light to save it. "Alright fuckers, get the background done. I'm going home and going to bed." Cas stood up and grabbed his jacket from the seat. He walked over to Dean. "Come on, master. Let's get on out. Charlie, you good?"

Charlie stopped recording. "Yup, good to go." She put the camera in the bag.

When they got to the house, Cas slowly made his way to the bed and fell face first on it. "One day down three months to go." He groaned. He rolled over on his back. "So, what do you think?" He asked Dean.

"I like watching you work. And you're amazing at it."

"Yeah, I try. It's a pain in the ass sometimes but the end result is worth it."

Dean lay down on the bed next to Cas, propping himself up on his elbow. He smiled at Cas.

"What?" Cas asked, looking back at Dean.

"Just enjoying this time with you. And it's impossible for me to not stare at someone so beautiful."

Cas smiled and rolled his eyes. "Stop. You're making me blush and that isn't my style."

"It is with me." Dean leaned in and took over Cas' mouth. Cas let out a small whimper. Dean's phone rang.

"Dean... get the phone."

"Nah I'd rather keep doing this." Dean moved his hand under Cas’ shirt and up his chest.

"Me too, but it's probably your handler. You haven't been scolded for last night yet."

"It's late, I'll call him first thing." Dean kept his eyes on Cas.

"Yeah okay. Continue. I don't like authority anyway."

Dean started making out with Cas again. He had his hands moving down to the zipper on Cas' jeans when the phone rang again. Dean pulled away.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Dean grabbed his phone and shut it off, tossing it across the room. Cas flipped Dean onto his back. Soon enough, clothes had hit the floor and the only sound was their heavy breathing. They finished, cleaned up, and went to sleep.

Dean woke up the next morning and groaned. "I don't want to talk to my agent. I just want to stay here in bed." He felt Cas laughed. "Get it over with. The sooner the better." Dean groaned and rolled out of bed. He grabbed his phone and turned it on. Fifteen missed calls. He sighed and dialed his agent. "Dean, what the hell kid? I've been trying to get a hold of you."

"Noticed."

"What the hell is going on? First your not with the rock star next you two are engaged?"

"The rock star has a name."

"Whatever. Doesn't matter. What does matter is that pictures of you and him at some unknown bar are floating around the internet.”

"His name is Castiel, and yes it does matter.”

"Listen, you're going to need to get back here. You're still in college. There are rules."

Dean sighed. "When do I have to be back?"

"By Monday morning."

"Fine. Monday."

"Morning."

Click.

“Dickwad." Dean threw the phone on the bedside table.

Cas plopped down on the bed next to Dean. "Well? What'd the big, bad asshat say?"

"I have to be back Monday morning. Probably gonna get my butt spanked."

"I could do that if you want."

"It'd be more enjoyable." Dean fell backward onto the bed, covering his hands with his face. "This. Is. Bullshit."

Dean got up and walked to the balcony of Cas' room. He looked out over the city and then back at Cas. "I don't want to leave. I want... I want to stay here with you."

Cas pulled Dean down next to him. "I know." He kissed him. "I have a surprise for you when we get to the studio today."

"A surprise?"

"Did I fucking stutter? Yes a surprise. And as much as I'd like for you to sit there in your underwear, it's time to get dressed. I would, however, approve of the jeans you wore the other night."

"But you'll be working. Can't have you distracted."

Cas snapped his fingers. "Yeah, you're right. They might not approve of us banging in the booth."

Dean pulled on a pair of jeans and button down shirt. He ran his hands through his hair. He could shave, but he didn't really feel like it. "Alright, rock star. Let's go and see what this surprise is"

Cas flashed a grin. "Let's get the girls."

Twenty minutes later they all walked in the studio. "Fashionably late as usual Cas."

"Morning to you too Mikey. Get those background vocals?"

"Waiting for your approval."

"Well play it then."

Cas sat down in the chair and listened, nodding in approval. "Yeah, it's good." He turned to the band. "You guys up for a live recording?" They looked at him. "What song?"

"Porcelain."

A few minutes later, the band was ready to go. Cas strapped on his guitar and put his headphones on. "Alright, play the background track." He said into the mic. He looked at Dean and winked. "Oh yeah, Mike, let it play through the speakers in there." Mike nodded and turned the speakers on. The music started. After a few seconds, Cas took a breath and closed his eyes then sang.

_**You thought by now** _

_**You'd have it figured out** _

_**You can't erase the way it pulls** _

_**When seasons change** _

_**It hurts sometimes** _

_**To find where you begin** _

_**But you are perfect porcelain** _

Cas kept his eyes closed, his pick between his fingers and his hand on the mic

_**The slow and simple melody** _

_**Of tears you cannot keep from me** _

_**It's alright if you don't know what you need** _

_**I'm right here when** _

_**You need someone to see** _

_**It's not speak** _

_**Or forever hold your peace** _

_**It's alright to take time** _

_**And find where you've been** _

_**You are perfect porcelain** _

_**The slow and simple melody** _

_**Of tears you cannot keep from me** _

_**It's alright if you don't know what you need** _

He opened his eyes and played on cue. Then continued singing.

_**Oh, when your heart releases,** _

_**You won't fall to pieces** _

_**You'll let those old diseases lie** _

_**Oh, and your heart releases,** _

_**You won't fall to pieces** _

_**And your breath comes crashing in** _

_**Like perfect porcelain** _

_**The slow and simple melody** _

_**Of tears you cannot keep from me** _

_**It's alright if you don't know what you need** _

He backed away from the mic, looking down then looked up at Mike.

Mike buzzed in. "Nice! I can dig it. Now, guys for the next one I was thinking....."

Cas wasn't listening. He was staring out the booth window at Dean, whose green eyes were all lit up with that smile that let Cas know that he was truly happy. Cas smiled back, then interrupted the band and Mike.

"Can we take five? Maybe like, ten?"

Mike buzzed in again. "Sure. Everything okay?"

Cas sighed and smiled. "Actually, everything's perfect. Just need a minute."

"Oookay then. You heard the boss. Be back here in ten."

Cas took his guitar off and set it down on it's stand. He made sure he was last out of the booth. Dean was waiting for him.

"Did you write that for me?"

"Yeah, among others." He smiled.

Dean pulled Cas in close and kissed him. Cas returned it, deepening it and wrapping his arms around Dean.

"You," Dean said, barely pulling away, "need to get back to work. We can finish this later."

"But I don't want to stop."

"Neither do I, but your band mates don't want to see me nailing your ass on the sound table."

Cas pulled back with a thoughtful look on his face. Then his eyes widened and he started to speak.

"No. Not happening Cas. Like I said, finish up here and we'll have plenty of time later for me to thank you properly." Dean claimed Cas' lips again, pulling at his bottom lip. Cas groaned as Dean pulled back.

"Have I mentioned that I love you?"

"Maybe once or twice this morning, but that could be because I'm really good with my hands." Dean rolled his eyes.

"I love you too, Dean."

 

Cas stepped up to the mic. As soon as the music played, Cas sang into the microphone.

_**I wake up tonight, feeling paper thin and I'm paper white** _

_**You say, "Just come back to bed"** _

_**Voice sounds strange, but I soon forget** _

_**And your sad blue eyes, like mine** _

_**Full of pity now, but I don't know why** _

_**The light dims without regret** _

_**'Til now you're nothing more than a silhouette** _

_**But just hold quick, you're fading right In a cold trick of the light** _

_**I'm just so sick, I thought you might be here** _

_**But you di-disappear** _

_**Now I wake up and I forget that you were gone** _

_**A phantom limb is all that I am hanging on** _

_**So don't stop, no stopping it yet** _

_**What if the one true love's the only one that you get?** _

_**And you've been wishing but you don't know how to stay** _

_**And I've been broken but I'm better every day** _

_**So don't stop, no stoppin' it yet** _

_**What if the one true love's the only one that you get?** _

_**One love (one love), one love you get** _

_**One love (one love), one love you get** _

_**One love (one love), one love you get** _

_**One love (one love), one love you get** _

_**Lost and gone so fast** _

_**You get me every time** _

_**But I live with that I might do this to myself** _

_**Only made it worse but I just can't help** _

_**You know I get so attached** _

_**Listen everyday 'til the dark is back** _

_**Now I pine for phantom pain It's the only time that I see your face** _

_**So just hold quick you're fading right In a cold trick of the light** _

_**I'm just so sick, I thought you might be here** _

_**But you di-disappear** _

_**Now I wake up and I forget that you were gone** _

_**A phantom limb is all that I am hanging on** _

_**So don't stop, no stopping yet** _

_**What if the one true love's the only one that you get?** _

_**And you've been wishing but you don't know how to stay** _

_**And I've been broken but I'm better every day** _

_**So don't stop, no stoppin' it yet** _

_**What if the one true love's the only one that you get?** _

_**One love, one love, one love you get** _

_**One love, one love, one love you get** _

_**One love, one love, one love you get** _

_**One love, one love, one love you get** _

_**What if you still feel me too, still?** _

_**What if there was still a way of taking care of this?** _

_**What if I wake up tonight and you are real?** _

_**What if we could find a way to try to heal?** _

_**What if there's no stoppin' us yet?** _

_**What if the one true love's the only one that you get?** _

_**What if there was still a reason not to go?** _

_**What if there was still a little bit of hope?** _

_**So don't stop, no stoppin it yet** _

_**What if the one true love's the only one that you get?** _

_**(Love you get)** _

_**One love, one love you get** _

_**One love, one love you get** _

_**One love, (one love) one love you get** _

_**(One love) One love, (one love) one love you get** _

_**One love, one love you get** _

_**One love, one love you get** _

_**One love, (One love) one love you get (one love)** _

_**One love, (one love) one love you get** _

Cas had never been good at the whole "talk about your feelings" stuff. He found it easier to do through music. This song in particular. He wrote it about a month after the break up. He tried his hardest not to crack, but the emotions he felt when he wrote it came flooding back. But he didn't stop singing.

As he finished the last line he opened his eyes and looked at Dean, who was staring straight back at him. Cas could see the pain on Dean's face. Even though he now knew it wasn't Dean's fault and they were together again, it was still very painful to think about.

Dean walked into the sound booth, paying no attention to the other band members. He stood in front of Cas, hands on both sides of Cas' face staring into those electric blue eyes. "I'm... I'm so sorry..."

Cas looked up at Dean and read the apology in his eyes. He felt a tear threaten to make itself known. Cas put his hands on Dean's wrists, gripping him tight. "I never stopped loving you. Not once."

"Neither did I," Dean whispered.

Everyone left the studio, giving the two a few minutes alone. Cas let his hands drop to his side. "It's just..." He sighed, looking away. "It's like my world came crashing down in one second." He sighed again and closed his eyes for a second then continued. "It was the worst I felt in awhile and I came dangerously close to relapsing a few times because I was just at a loss of what to do."

Dean rubbed his face. "When Jaxon did that, all I thought about was you. And then you walked in, and... my heart fell out of my ass. The look on your face. I pushed him away and tried to go after you but you were just gone."

"Yeah, I discovered I can run pretty damn fast when I want to." He slightly smiled.

Dean laughed and pulled Cas in, hugging him tightly. "I never want to be without you ever again."

"Ditto. You ready to get out of here?"

"Yeah. Let's go to bed."

"What about the girls?"

"You gave them a key and a rental. They're fine."

"I knew there was a reason I asked you to marry me."

"Well, I am pretty amazing." Dean took Cas' hand and they walked out of the booth. The other members said goodbye to Dean and see you later to Cas. The pair left the building and got into Cas' car, driving back to Cas' house.

 

************

 

It seemed to be the wedding of the century. The hot shot football player and the crazy rock star. Other celebrities we're invited along with their families. Cas smoothed out his hair. (He decided to let it grow just for the hell of it with bangs to the side and dyed the bangs blue to match his eyes) He fixed his tie and straightened his blazer. Giving himself one last look in the mirror, he headed out to get himself married. The wedding party had started making their way out. Sam was Dean's best man and Charlie was his "best woman".

Cas stood next to his mom who was forever crying, no matter how many times Cas told her to stop. But given that for a while she never thought she'd see him again, let alone see him get married, he went easy on her.

Inside the country club bathroom, Dean was trying to tie his tie. He wasn't succeeding. His fingers seemed to have forgotten how to do this.

"Here, Dean; I'll get ya."

Dean rolled his eyes and let Sam fix it for him. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." Sam looked at his older brother. "So this is it. The day is here. Nervous?"

"Sammy I can't even tie my tie and I feel like I might vomit. Nervous is an understatement."

Sam shrugged. "Well, once you see him, you'll feel better."

A smile crept across Dean's face. "Yeah. I hope so."

A short lady with a clipboard knocked on the door. "Dean? It's time."

Dean took a deep breath. "Holy shit. I'm getting married. Sam, do you have..."

"The rings?" Sam held up his hand with the rings in his fist. "Right here."

Dean nodded. "Good. Let's do this."

Dean and Sam walked out of the clubhouse into the sunlight. The weather couldn't have been more perfect; blue skies, a few puffy clouds, sun shining. The ceremony began.

Dean and Cas didn't pick the music for the ceremony. Naomi and Mary did. They went with some classical thing that the boys weren't familiar with. It was pretty, though.

Mary and Naomi walked together and found their seats. Then Charlie and Sam, who took their places near the officiant. The music changed to Elvis' "I Can't Help Falling in Love With You." Dean waited a few bars before slowly stepping out.

His feet felt cemented to the ground. His palms were sweaty. He didn't have his ring on and his hand felt weird. And he felt like his heart might explode. But as he rounded the corner and started down the aisle, he looked up.

Electric blue eyes were all he could see. Cas was wearing the most traditional tux he ever thought he would see him in; black pants and vest, with a white shirt underneath and a pocket square to match. Dean look Cas up and down. He looked amazing.

Cas couldn't help but smile as Dean walked down the isle to him. As soon as he saw him, he wasn't nervous anymore, not that he acted nervous. He fought the urge to meet Dean halfway and just kiss him like the fucking world is ending.

When Dean finally got there, he took Dean's hand in his and they faced the minister. Cas looked at Dean, still smiling. "We gather today to witness the union of Castiel Novak and Dean Winchester. These two met senior year of high school. And according to close friends, are the most sickeningly cutest couple ever." Dean and Cas looked at Charlie who winked. Cas rolled his eyes. "The two had quite a few hard times but as they say, true love conquers all. Now they have chosen to write their own vows. Castiel? Would you like to start?"

Cas smiled. "Actually, I kind of made my vows into a song if that's okay."

"It's your wedding."

Cas' smile grew. He ran to the stage, along with the band. He sat down at the piano and sang.

_**When your tears are spent on your last pretense** _

_**And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense.** _

_**When it's in your spine like you've walked for miles** _

_**And the only thing you want is just to be still for a while** _

_**If your heart wears thin I will hold you up** _

_**And I will hide you when it gets too much** _

_**I'll be right beside you** _

_**I'll be right beside you** _

_**When you're overwhelmed and you've lost your breath** _

_**And the space between the things you know is blurry nonetheless.** _

_**When you try to speak but you make no sound** _

_**And the words you want are out of reach but they've never been so loud** _

_**If your heart wears thin I will hold you up** _

_**And I will hide you when it gets too much** _

_**I'll be right beside you** _

_**I'll be right beside you** _

_**I will stay.** _

_**Nobody will break you, Yeah.** _

_**Trust in me, trust in me.** _

_**Don't pull away** _

_**Trust in me, trust in me. I'm just trying to keep this together,** _

_**Because I could do worse and you could do better** _

_**Tears are spent on your last pretense** _

_**And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense.** _

_**If your heart wears thin I will hold you up** _

_**And I will hide you when it gets too much I'll be right beside you** _

_**Nobody will break you** _

_**If your heart wears thin I will hold you up** _

_**And I will hide you when it gets too much** _

_**I'll be right beside you** _

_**Nobody will break you.** _

The guests applauded. "How do I follow that?" Dean said to the crowd, who laughed at his joke. Cas had taken his place again.

"Now, I didn't write song, and I'm not a poet, but I do like to tell it how it is. And it's simple. I love you. And I think I realized it a long time ago, before I even knew what I was feeling. I couldn't put a word to it, but I knew that if I went without seeing you or hearing your voice I wasn't whole. And that hasn't changed. I want your face to be the last thing I see at night and the first thing I see in the morning. Your arms are home to me. And I never want to be without you again."

Cas smiled. "Yeah, maybe you should have gone first. Kind of dull after a song." He teased.

The guests laughed again.

"Now that the vows have been said, Castiel and Dean will exchange the rings. The rings, please."

Sam put on a bitch face and checked all of his pockets before finally acting relieved and handing off the rings. "Really, Sammy?" Dean asked with a wink. Sam just smiled and shrugged, returning to his spot.

"Castiel, we will start with you. Repeat after me." The officiant gave Cas Dean's ring.

"With this ring."

Cas exhaled. He didn't even notice he had held his breath. "With this ring..."

"I take you, Dean, as my husband and partner in life."

I take you, D-Dean, as my husband and partner in l-life." He was shaking and couldn't make it stop. He glanced at Dean. Dean smiled at him and gave a small nod to reassure him. Cas exhaled again. When did he stop breathing?

"I will honor and cherish you..."

"I will honor and cherish you..."

"For as long as I live."

"For as long as I live." Cas slid the ring onto Dean's finger with a sigh of relief. "Good job," Dean mouthed at Cas, who just smiled back.

"Dean, your turn."

"Oh God..."

"Cas will do."

More laughter.

"Repeat after me. With this ring..."

"With this ring..."

"I take you, Castiel, as my husband and partner in life."

Dean smiled. "Take you, Castiel, to be my husband and partner in crime, uh, life."

"Smooth babe."

"I will honor and cherish you..."

"I will honor and cherish you..."

"For as long as I live."

"For as long as I live." He slid the ring on Cas finger. Both men had thousand watt grins.

"I now pronounce you married. You may kiss."

"Bout damn time." Cas said. He pulled Dean close and their lips met. Everything around them faded until it was just them. Cas pulled away. "I love you Dean."

"I love you too Cas."

The guests stood up and applauded and whistled. Cas took Dean's hand in his, raising both their hands in victory.

The two walked up the aisle, still hand in hand, and went to the room set aside for them to wait in before the reception started. Once there, Cas grabbed Dean's hips and pulled him in as close as he could, claiming Dean's mouth in a deep kiss. Dean opened up to Cas, letting him explore the depths of his mouth with his tongue. "Do we have to go down there?" Cas said against Dean's lips.

Dean smiled and hummed. "Yes. But at least we have the rest of our lives together." Kissing him again.

"Fine," Cas sighed. "Let's go down and show these stiffs what a real party looks like."

They walked into the room hand in hand. "Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce for the first time, Dean and Castiel Winchester." Everyone clapped and cheered. They took their seats up front. Charlie walked out to the Dance floor, mic in hand. "Okay, on behalf of Cas and Dean I'd like to say thank you all for coming. And to kick off this little shindig, I made a little video of Cas and Dean together for the last three years."

Cas rolled his eyes. "Of course she did."

She pressed play and the video started with the title "Castiel Novak and Dean Winchester: Soul mates."

The title faded into the video. The music started. Cas smiled, noticing it was Ever After.

The last clip was the boys sitting in front of the couch. "Okay, next question." Cas said aking a drink of Mountain Dew. "Okay, where do you see yourself in five years?"

Cas smiled. "Touring with the band, a bunch of number one hits and..." He looked at Dean. "With you."

Cas looked at Dean with a huge smile on his face. Dean kissed him quickly and then looked around the room. Mary and Naomi were almost in a full on ugly cry and were passing a box of tissues between them.

As the waitstaff cleaned up the guests dinner plates, the deejay came over the speakers. "Ladies and gentleman, I would like you all to gather around the dance floor as Dean and Castiel share their first dance as a married couple. Guys, come on out."

Cas and Dean stood up and made their way to the middle of the dance floor. Dean looked at Cas. "Ready?"

"Always."

Dean put one hand on Cas' hip, taking his free hand in the other. Cas put his spare hand on the small of Dean's back and pulled him closer.

_Lying here with you so close to me, it's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe. Caught up in this moment, caught up in your smile..._

Dean filled the gap between them. Cas put his head on Dean's shoulder and began to whisper the lyrics to him, so only he could hear.

I never opened up to anyone. So hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms. ..

Cas smiled. "We don't need to rush this Let's just take it slow"

They both sang.

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight Just a touch of the fire burning so bright No I don't want to mess this thing up I don't want to push too far Just a shot in the dark that you just might Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight

Nobody else heard them singing to each other. The smiled, sang, and whirled around the dance floor.

"You know," Dean said as he and Cas danced. "I think this was on the radio the first time we made out."

"Why do you think I picked it?"

Dean smiled. "I knew I loved you for a reason."

As the song came to an end, Dean tipped Cas' chin up slightly and took his mouth in his, tongue doing what it did best. Catcalls and cheers erupted from the crowd. When Dean backed up, Cas locked eyes with him. "If you aren't careful, I might just take you on this dance floor."

Dean put his arm around his husband and leaned toward his ear. "That's what the suite upstairs is for."

"But unfortunately we can't leave our guests so I guess I'll just have to try to behave." Cas smiled.

"That's probably best. Now, I really want some cake..."

"Oh ok. But I also got you something special."

"Another surprise? You are too much."

Cas pulled Dean toward the cake table. "You'll see."

Arriving at the cake table, Cas signaled a waiter with a thumbs up. The waiter disappeared for a moment, returning with...

"Apple pie?! You got me a pie!"

"Of course I did. I know cake isn't your style."

Dean kissed Cas and grabbed a couple slices of the pie, finally heading back to his seat at the table. "This is awesome."

Jeff, the drummer, was getting some cake. "Nice job, Cas! You're probably the best."

"What can I say? I know my man."

Cas made his way to Dean and sat next to him.

“So, ready to put up with me for the rest of your life?” Cas smiled at him.

Dean looked up. “Still think I'll run away screaming?”

Cas laughed. “Something like that.”

“Cas, I've seen you at your best and been there for your worst. That's the point isn't it? For better or worse? I'm not going anywhere. I promised didn't I?”

Cas smiled. “That you did babe.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So to make up for my lack of posting, I'll put up another chapter tonight. In the meantime...what did you think? Don't be afraid to drop a comment, I don't bite!


	16. Death At The VMA's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes you read right...death. Calm down it's not Dean or Cas, or Charlie. Anywhore, hope you enjoy!
> 
> By the way...things are about to get rough so guard your feels.
> 
> Songs in the chapter:
> 
> Wildfire by Marianas Trench, mentioned (As JTH  
> Celebrity Status by Marianas Trench (Written as JTH)

Dean stood in the foyer. "Babe! Let's go! The limo's here for us."

"Dude, this isn't your grandma's fucking birthday it's the FUCKING VMAs!"

Dean sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "You're such a woman."

Cas trotted down the stairs, slapping Dean's ass as he passed by. "A woman wouldn't know how to handle your jerky. Now... how do I look?"

"Amazing as usual." Dean smiled. Cas was wearing a blazer with a red button down shirt underneath with a white tie, black faded skinny jeans and converse. It may be a huge event, but Cas never dressed up except for the wedding of course. The band had been nominated for best music video, best album, and best artist. They were also performing.

Cas' phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey sweetie."

"Hey mom. You on your way?"

"I would be if traffic wasn't such a bitch. I'll get there eventually."

"Alright. See you there. Be careful."

"Always."

"Love you mom."

"Love you too sweetie."

He hung up. "Alright, let's go. My mom is stuck in traffic but she'll be there."

"Awesome." Dean opened the front door. "Your chariot awaits." The two got in the limo. Cas was drumming on his leg and staring at the ceiling.

"You'll be great."

"Wha... what?" Cas looked at Dean, snapping to attention. Dean laughed. "I said, you'll be great. So stop the nervous fidgeting."

"This is like, the biggest moment of my life, marrying you aside. I'm fucking nervous."

Dean leaned over and kissed him. "You'll be kick ass as always." Cas hummed and looked at him. "As long as you're there."

Cas took a deep breath before getting out of the limo. He met up with the band and they walked down the red carpet. Flashing lights, reporters, and screaming fans all present. The band stopped and took photos with some fans and sighed autographs. One reporter from people magazine stopped Cas for an interview.

"So Cas, this is your first big red carpet event. How are you feeling right now?"

"Uh, well, it's definitely different. A little overwhelming, but the fans seem to be drowning everyone out so that's pretty cool." He moved his bangs from his face, smiling. "But yeah, I don't think I've ever been this nervous before. Well, except when I got married. I legit half expected him to run away screaming but when that didn't happen, well, he's just stuck with my crazy ass and sarcasm for the rest of his life."

"You and the rest of 'Join The Hunt' are up for three awards, as well as performing your newest single tonight. Thoughts?"

"Yeah, it's pretty crazy. I mean I had no idea that many people even listen to our music. The best artist nomination did come as a shock and I almost crapped my pants and threw up, but I just feel honored that the fans love us that much and we love them for it. I wouldn't be standing here if it wasn't for them. Even if we don't win anything, we'll still give a kick ass performance."

The reporter turned to the camera. "Well, folks, sounds like we're in for a treat. Sheila, what's going on inside the theater?"

Cas rejoined the band and they walked into the building, posing for a few pictures and signing some things.

In a second limousine, Dean took a deep breath and opened the door, camera flashes going off and fans screaming. He waved and walked up the path where he was met by the same person who interviewed Cas.

"Dean Winchester in the flesh! Word has it that there's an offer on the take from a major NFL team. Care to spill?"

"I can't give away the who and what, but I will say that there is something in the works."

"Nice! Now, saw your husband, lead singer of Join The Hunt Castiel, earlier and we talked about how things are going for him and the band. Any insight for us?"

"He's driven and he loves what he does. And he's awesome at it. Win or lose tonight he is going to rock the house."

Cas saw Dean and walked over to him. He looked at the reporter. "Wouldn't be giving my husband a hard time now would you?" He flashed a smile and kissed Dean's cheek.

"Well now that both of you are here, how is married life so far?"

Cas shrugged. "Oh it's horrible. We hate it. Always fighting and shit." He laughed. "Uh, really, it's great. Nothings changed. The only thing that's changed is I dropped half a million for a piece of paper."

Dean laughed. "Which is now framed and hanging in his living room."

"Most expensive piece of paper ever."

The reporter smiled. "I think I speak for everyone when I say that it is amazing to see the two of you so happy together. You come from such different backgrounds and yet it seem to work."

Cas smiled. "Well, opposites attract and worlds collide. Just gotta roll with it."

The reporter laughed. "Well thank you guys for the interview."

"Thank you."

They walked down the red carpet together, pausing every now and then for pictures.

Once they finally got inside, they found their seats and sat down.

When the show started the host walked out on stage. "Alright everyone, welcome to the VMA's. Is everyone ready for a good show?" Everyone clapped and cheered. "We have a lot to get to tonight and a bunch of performances. So let's get this party started!"

A few awards and two performances later, it was time to give the award for best music video. Cas was holding his breath.

"And the winner is..."

They unfolded the envelope.

"Join the hunt, Wildfire!"

The giant auditorium erupted with cheers. Cas let out his breath and smiled. All the members stood up. Dean gave Cas a hug and a quick kiss. Wildfire started playing and the video played on stage.

The band walked up to the stage. They handed the award to Cas and he stood behind the podium. He ran his fingers through his hair, moving his bangs away from his face. "Holy shit." He said as the song faded. "Wow. I think for the second time in my life I'm speechless." He looked around at the audience. "This is awesome! I honestly never expected to win anything tonight. I'm just absolutely blown away. Uh, I obviously want to thank the fans for this. Thanks to everyone who helped with the video. To my friends and family, especially my husband Dean. And just everyone who made this possible. Thank you all."

Cas and the band walked off of the stage and back to their seats. He had panned the crowd while he was up there, but someone was missing.

"Uh, have you seen my mom? She should have been here by now..."

Dean squeezed Cas' hand. "I haven't, but I'm sure she's fine. She said traffic was awful. Maybe they blocked off the road for this thing."

Cas sunk into his seat. "Yeah, maybe."

Then it was time for best album. Join The Hunt won again.

"Jesus you people are messed up in the head or something." Cas smiled. "Like, who listens to this crap?" Everyone laughed. The band got their thank yous out of the way then headed backstage for their performance.

"And now, performing their new single 'Celebrity Status' with two awards under their belt, Join The Hunt!"

Cas strapped on his guitar. Finally, he was in his element.

_**I look around, round, look around and look it over,** _

_**I take it up, up take it out and take you nowhere,** _

_**Trading in who I've been for shiny celebrity skin** _

_**I like to push it and push it until my luck is over.** _

_**It never stop stops, never stops well you better,** _

_**Think it over prima donna you don't want to sever** _

_**All the work to impress, charming girls out of their dresses,** _

_**Smiling pretty, well pretty will swallow you forever** _

_**Step one, step two, step three repeat** _

_**And I pray at the church of asses in the seats,** _

_**I disappear behind the beat** _

_**Yeah** _

_**When the mirrors and the lights** _

_**And the smoke clear I'd never guess** _

_**How we ever could have got here.** _

_**You can say what you say** _

_**When the lights go down** _

_**So shake shake shake,** _

_**And shut your mouth** _

_**I wonder why, why, I wonder why, why I outta,** _

_**Let you wreck, resurrect whatever you want to.** _

_**I can't depend in the end you know I thought you were my friend.** _

_**Just stop, just stop, just stop I think I got it.** _

_**Sorry you, sorry me, sorry every in between,** _

_**Sorry everybody here will never be somebody clean.** _

_**There's a piece of me they're throwing back at us,** _

_**And they will buy you and sell you for celebrity status** _

_**Step one, step two, step three repeat** _

_**And I pray at the church of asses in the seats,** _

_**I disappear behind the beat** _

_**When the mirrors and the lights** _

_**And the smoke clear I'd never guess** _

_**How we ever could have got here.** _

_**You can say what you say** _

_**When the lights go down** _

_**So shake shake shake,** _

_**And shut your mouth** _

_**When the mirrors and the lights** _

_**And the smoke clear I'd never guess** _

_**How we ever could have got here.** _

_**You can say what you say** _

_**When the lights go down** _

_**So shake shake shake,** _

_**And shut your mouth** _

_**Look around, round Look around, round Look around** _

_**I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying** _

_**When the mirrors and the lights** _

_**And the smoke clear I'd never guess** _

_**How we ever could have got here.** _

_**You can say what you say** _

_**When the lights go down** _

_**So shake shake shake,** _

_**And shut your mouth** _

_**When the mirrors and the lights** _

_**And the smoke clear I'd never guess** _

_**How we ever could have got here.** _

_**You can say what you say** _

_**When the lights go down** _

_**So shake shake shake,** _

_**And shut your mouth** _

_**I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying** _

Throughout the performance, Cas jumped up and down, ran around the stage during the guitar solo, and got the audience on their feet. By the end of the song, he was sweating his ass off.

The audience shot to their feet and gave Join The Hunt a standing ovation. Cas just stood there pumping his fist in the air. The band exchanged high fives after they left the stage. Cas saw Dean standing near the green room.

"Hey babe. I need a shower. Care to join..." he stopped when he saw Dean's face. "Babe. What's wrong?"

Dean looked away, fighting back tears. His eyes were red.

"Dean."

"We need to go."

"We just had the best set in the history of us and I have to leave? There are after parties screaming my name..."

Dean took Cas by the hand. "I'll tell you on the way."

"No, you'll tell me now." Cas stopped walking but didn't pull his hand back. Dean intertwined their fingers and did the same with the other hand. Dean looked at Cas. He looked destroyed.

"Dean..."

"Cas, I don't know how..."

"Dean. Just... what? What happened?"

Dean was shaking. He met Cas' eyes. "It's your mom. There was an accident."

Cas shook his head. "Umm.. accident what do you mean accident? She's fine. Right? She's fine. Probably great. Probably just a minor thing..."

Dean grabbed Cas in a hug and just held him as tight as he could. "I love you. So, so much. And I know you don't want to leave but we need to go. Right now. Cas? Cas!"

Cas had his head on Dean's shoulder. He was shaking and gripping Dean's arms as tight as he could. Dean walked Cas out of the area and toward the back exit. He told the producers that there was a family emergency and they had to leave. The band members said they would bring Cas' things. Dean managed to get Cas to the waiting limousine. Cas still hadn't said a word.

The limo wasn't even stopped before Cas jumped out and ran inside the hospital. He ran to the front desk where the lady was on the phone. "I'm looking for my mom. Naomi Novak." The lady held up her finger and carried on with her conversation. "Oh you have got to be kidding me." He leaned on the counter. "Look lady. If you don't tell me where the fuck my mom is-" He was cut off by the lady laughing.

He leaned in, grabbed the phone and yanked it off the wall, throwing it behind him. "Naomi Novak. Where is she?" The lady, now startled, pointed to the ER. Cas took off.

Security stopped him. "Look rent-a-pig, I'm just looking for my mom. She was in an accident."

They sat in the waiting room for what felt like years. Cas was leaning forward in his seat, his arms on his knees, head down, and bouncing his leg up and down. His mind was racing. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't calm himself down.

"Castiel Novak?"

His head shot up and he stood. The doctor walked over to him. "I'm sorry son, we tried everything. Her injuries were too great..." He kept talking but Cas stopped listening.

"No. This is a joke right? You're fucking joking. She can't be..."

"I'm very sorry for your loss."

"You're...sorry. That's it?! You're sorry?! What kind of fucking doctor are you?" Dean got up and pulled Cas back. "Thank you doctor."

"Don't fucking thank him! He probably just fucking sat there and watch my fucking mother die!"

"Cas..."

Cas backed away then walked out of the room. "Cas!" Dean called after him. He just walked faster. By the time he made it to the exit, he was running.

He didn't take a cab or bus, he didn't hitch a ride. He ran. At first he didn't want to go home, but it was the closest place to where he was at, and where he was wasn't the safest place to be dressed up the way he was.

He stopped at the gate and looked at the house. He punched in the code and the gate opened. He walked up the driveway to the front door.

He slammed the door and walked to the bedroom, taking off his tie and blazer, leaving them on the floor. He paced around the room. He stopped in front of the dresser and pushed everything off and punched a hole in the TV then grabbed it and threw it to the floor. He flipped the mattress over and broke the headboard.

He punched a few holes in the wall then sank to the floor, his face in his hands.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket. One new voicemail. He put it on speaker and listened. His mom's voice filled the silent room.

"Hey baby boy. I'm almost there. I've been listening on the radio and I heard you won best video and best album! I'm so proud of you honey! See you soon. Love you Castiel James."

Tears streamed down his face. He threw his phone across the room. 

He went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of whiskey and opened it, taking a long drink as he walked back to the room and sank to the floor again.

 

Dean ran through the door, closing it behind him. "Cas?" He looked around. The entire living room was destroyed. "Cas!" He made his way around the debris. "Castiel!" He walked in the kitchen to see Cas on the floor, bottle of whiskey in hand.

  
"Cas..." He kneeled down next to him. Cas slowly looked at him then took another drink, draining what little was left. Dean ran his hand down his face and let out a slow breath.

  
"She called me. Right before it happened. She was almost there and she was listening to the show on the radio. She heard me win two out of three. Said she was proud of me."

  
"Cas..."

  
"Don't. Don't you dare say you're sorry. Not you." He threw the bottle at the wall. It shattered, causing Dean to jump a little.

  
"Cas, just... come sit... sit down on the couch and..."

  
"And fucking what, Dean? What? Talk it out like fucking Dr Phil?" Cas shook his head and reached down into the cupboard where they kept the alcohol. Dean stepped forward and shut the cupboard door, grabbing Cas' hand and spinning him around so he could see his face.

  
"What the fuck, Dean?!"

  
"How much did you drink?" Dean's voice was low and shaky, but stern.

  
"Does it matter?"

  
"HOW MUCH, CASTIEL?" Cas turned shocked eyes up to his husband.

  
"You've never yelled at me before."

  
Dean looked at him. "And you've never acted like this before."

  
Cas nodded slowly and backed away with his hands up. "Excuse me for getting so upset."

  
"Cas...I didn't mean"

  
"Yes. You did." He grabbed his keys off the counter and walked out the door, slamming it behind him. He made his way to his motorcycle and swung his leg over then started it.

  
"Cas!"

  
He tore out of the driveway and down the street, leaving a trail of smoke in his wake. Dean stood on their driveway with his hands in his hair, starring in the direction that Cas left in. He couldn't move. What the hell had just happened? Dean wracked his brain for what to do. He ran his hands down his face and neck, realizing that he was still in his tux from the awards ceremony. He grabbed for his phone, which was in his pocket, and dialed Charlie as he climbed into his car.

  
"He what?!"

  
"He took off, Charlie. I don't know where. But he's wasted and upset and... I yelled at him Charlie. I yelled..."

  
"Like, just got loud?"

  
Dean bit his lip. "No. I got in his face and yelled at him."

  
"Oh God. That's not good Dean"

  
"I know, I know! I was just worried and scared and I just...yelled. God, the look on his face. And how he said I've never yelled at him before. Now he's gone and I have no clue where he's going. I don't know what to do Charlie."

  
"Where are you?"

  
"Driving. Took a left out of the drive after him. Now I'm just driving and looking." Dean inhaled sharply. "I can't lose him."

  
"Deep breath Dean, we'll find him. I'll call the band and we'll tear that city apart til we find him. Do you think he'll..."

  
"Relapse? At this point, it's highly possible."

  
Silence.

  
"Charlie, I need you on this."

  
"I know. I'm here. Just... preparing myself for the fight that's about to happen."

  
"Call the band. I'm gonna keep looking. Gonna check the hospital. I'll call you."

  
"Likewise."

  
Dean hung up and set the phone in the cupholder. He gripped the steering wheel as tight as he could as his eyes searched the road for any sign of Cas. About twenty minutes later, he pulled into the emergency department parking lot and hurried inside. The nurse at the desk looked up at him, startled.

  
"You're..."

  
"Yes, I am Dean Winchester. And I need you to keep your trap shut on this. I need to know if my husband, Castiel James Novak-Winchester, is here. Anywhere. I don't care what floor or whatever just is he here?"

  
She looked at Dean for a second before typing on her keyboard. She shook her head.

  
"No, Mr Winchester I don't see that he's been here today. I'm sorry."

  
Dean slapped his hand on the counter. "Shit. Okay. Uhh... thanks. And sorry for being rude." He turned and left the hospital, calling Charlie again.

  
"He's not at the hospital."

  
"No sign of him here either. Adam just called. They'll keep looking but uh...you may want to check the bad side of town."

  
Dean ran a hand down his face and sighed. "Dammit. Alright, I'm on it. Call you later."

  
Hours passed. Cas still wasn't answering his phone. No rockstars had been admitted to any of the nearby hospitals. The guys from the band couldn't find him. And Dean still hadn't called Cas' agent.

  
"Dammit Cas. Where are you?"

  
*****

  
Cas swung he leg over his motorcycle and pulled out his phone to check the time. Just after five in the morning. He bought new clothes hours ago just so he wasn't wearing the outfit from the VMA'S. He threw those in a dumpster behind a drug hotel. He thought about burning them but decided against it.   
He had just made the arrangements to have his mom transported back to Kansas. He sighed, putting his phone in his pocket and put his new helmet on. Looks like he was going back to Kansas to make funeral arrangements. He started the bike and took off down the road. He had to make a quick stop first.

  
He pulled off behind an old warehouse downtown before the highway. He got off his bike and took his helmet off, carrying it in his arm.

  
"You him?"

  
Cas looked around. "Must be. There's no one else here, asshat."

  
The man gestured Cas into an alley. He looked around with his hands in his pockets.

  
"Don't be so nervous. I brought cash. How much?"

  
"Hundred for a gram."

  
"Fine," He pulled some money out of his pocket. "I'll take three." The man took the money and handed Cas three little baggies that Cas quickly pocketed and walked away. He got on his motorcycle and got on the highway. He didn't stop until he got to Kansas.   


 

Three days. Dean stared at his phone. Still nothing from Cas. He leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes. He heard the front door open but didn't move.

  
"You gonna get dressed today?"

  
He opened his eyes and looked down at himself. Shirtless and wearing sweatpants. "Yeah at some point."

  
"Still nothing?"

  
"No. Not a damn word. I keep checking the hospitals and nothing. I've checked downtown and the drug areas. Nothing." He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Where could he be?"

  
"Well, where would he have her funeral?"

  
Dean looked up at Charlie. "Lawrence."

  
****

  
Cas stepped out of the funeral home after making the final arrangements. He got on the bike and put his helmet on then took off down the road.   
Ten minutes later, he stopped in front of the house and walked up the path to the front door. He unlocked the door and went inside. He walked through the house to his old room and collapsed on the bed. Dean was probably freaking out by now, but it was his own damn fault. Cas put his arm over his face. He   
yelled at him. Dean actually yelled at him. After everything Cas had done, Dean never once yelled at him. Hell, he barely raised his voice.

  
He sat up and grabbed the syringe off the nightstand and looked at it. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair then took the cap off the needle. "Fuck it." A few minutes later, he put his head back on the pillow, closing his eyes and letting the sensation take him over.

  
****

  
Dean turned off the Impala and got out, running to the front door. Locked. Of course it was. He ran around back. Locked. He pounded on the door. "Cas! I know you're in there, your bike is out front."

  
Nothing.

He pounded on the door again. "Cas! Please open the door!"

  
Nothing.

  
"Cas, if you don't open the door, I'll break it down. Please! I'm sorry I yelled at you. I wasn't thinking...it just...happened."

  
Nothing.

  
"Dammit!"

  
Dean backed up and stared at the door. He took a deep breath. And then he ran full speed into the door, crashing through it. Dean realized he was in a side room off of the kitchen. He turned and headed toward Cas' room.

  
He walked up to the door, pausing as he put his hand on the doorknob, not knowing what he would find. He slowly opened the door. Cas' room was, for the most part, destroyed. Dean looked up to see Cas on the bed. He waded through the mess. When he got to the bed, he noticed Cas was breathing.

Thank God.

But it was slow.

  
He looked at the nightstand by the bed to see a needle. He let out a slow breath. "Dammit." He looked back at Cas who was fully clothed, and ran his fingers through his hair. Cas didn't move. Dean touched his arm. Pinched him. Nothing. He leaned over Cas and stared at him, his own breathing becoming more rapid. He shook him gently at the shoulder.

"Cas?"

  
Silence.

Dean kissed him.

Nothing.

He would swear he felt his own heart stop.

  
He looked at Cas' left hand; he was still wearing his ring. Dean shook him again. "Cas..." he said a little louder.

  
Nothing.

  
He checked for a pulse. It was alarmingly faint.

  
"No. No no no. Come on Cas..." He immediately grabbed his phone.

  
"What is your emergency?"

  
"My name is Dean Winchester. I'm at 2357 Cypress street. My husband...I...I think he overdosed."

  
"Is there a pulse?"

  
"Barely. Can you just send someone? He won't move..."

  
"What do you think he took?"

  
"Heroin. There's a needle next to him. He has a history."

  
"Is he breathing?"

  
"Yes, dammit, just a little. Can someone just come here and take him to the damn hospital before he dies?!"

  
"Just calm down sir. An ambulance is in the way."

  
"Cal...calm down? My husband is fucking dying and you're telling me to calm down? How the fuck do you sleep at night bitch?!"

  
"Sir, I understand"

  
"No, no you don't. If you did you sure as hell wouldn't be telling me to calm down!"

  
"Sir, take a deep breath and hold it for ten seconds." Dean rolled his eyes. "Fine." He inhaled and held it, exhaling slowly after ten seconds. "Okay. I did it."

  
"Do it again."

  
He closed his eyes but repeated the action. To his amazement, he did feel a little better.

  
"You with me, Dean?"

  
"Yeah."

  
"Roll him on his side so that he doesn't choke on anything that comes up."

  
Dean did as she told him. As he got Cas on his side, he could hear sirens nearing the house.

  
"I hear the sirens."

  
"Stay on the line until I get confirmation that they are there."

  
"Okay." He looked at Cas again. His eyes stung.

  
Dean got up and unlocked the front door. He ran back to the room and picked up the phone.

  
"Sir?"

  
"Yeah..." His voice cracked.

  
"I just got confirmation that the paramedics are there."

  
"Thank you." He hung up the phone and ran to the front door, throwing it open just as the paramedics got to it. He ran back to Cas’ room, where they immediately got to work. His eyes were dilated to pinpoints and his breathing was even slower. His pulse was almost nonexistent.

  
"What’s his name?" One paramedic asked.

"Cas. Castiel Novak-Winchester." Dean couldn't keep his voice from cracking.

  
"Birthday?"

  
"May eighth, nineteen ninety two."

  
"Occupation?"

  
"Really?!"

  
The paramedic looked at Dean. "Yes. We have to ask."

  
"Okay. Uhh... musician... entertainer. I don't know..." He looked up and saw them using an Ambu bag on him. The paramedic walked over to Dean and moved him out of the room.

  
"Dean."

  
"Yeah."

  
"Stay out here while they get him ready to go..."

  
"We've got him breathing!"

  
"Put him two liters of oxygen..."

  
Dean whipped around. "He's breathing..." It was barely a whisper. He stepped back into the room as they moved Cas to a stretcher.

  
"Are you riding along?"

  
Dean watched as the team removed Cas from the house and loaded him into the ambulance.

  
"Are you going with them?"

  
"Damn right, I am." Dean pushed past the remaining workers and climbed into the back of the ambulance, sitting on the bench next to Cas. The whole ride they continued to work on Cas. The only thing Dean could do was hold Cas' hand.

Cas was extremely pale and there were dark circles around his eyes. Dean had never seen him this bad before. It had never been this bad. Not even when they were teenagers. Dean knew there was a chance Cas might relapse, that he could deal with, but an overdose? He really didn't know if it was an accident or not. Right now, he really didn't care.

He just wanted Cas to make it out alive.

 


	17. Hospital Bells

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello awesome people! Just a quick thanks for reading, commenting, and giving this kudos! Love ya!

He ran his fingers through his hair. He thought back to the first time he had ever seen Cas. Cas and Charlie were sitting by themselves during lunch. He remembered seeing Cas smile for the first time. And those eyes that always took his breath away.

  
"Dean."

  
He whipped around to see Charlie and Ellen standing in the doorway. He walked over to them and hugged them.

  
"Any word?" Ellen asked.

  
"No. Nothing. It's been four hours." He shook his head and looked at the ceiling. "It's my fault. I shouldn't have yelled at him. I've never yelled at him..." He took a shaky breath. "Now...now he's in there dying because of me..."

  
"Oh honey, no." Ellen wrapped him in a hug. Dean lost it. His body shook with sobs. "It's not your fault honey."

  
Ellen guided Dean to a chair and sat down, making him sit as well. Ellen held him there for a.few minutes. After a while, the doctor stepped into the waiting area.

  
"Mr Winchester?"

  
Dean sprang to life and stood up, wiping his face with his hands. "Yeah?"

  
The doctor took a few steps forward. Dean held his breath. "He was extremely lucky this time. His lungs were so full of fluid, one of them collapsed. We have him on a machine to help him breathe, but he's not out of the woods yet."

  
Dean let out a breath. "Can..can I see him?"

  
The doctor nodded and told him the room number. Dean took off down the hall, eyes scanning each room until he found it.

  
_C Novak-­Winchester_

  
Dean slowly pushed the door open. The sounds of the machine helping Cas breathe, and the heart rate monitor were the only sounds in the room.   
Fresh tears spilled over as Dean made his way to Cas. He pushed the chair right next to the bed and sank down in it, taking Cas' hand. With the other hand, he ran his fingers through Cas' hair.

  
"Haven't been here in awhile have we?" Dean half smiled through the tears.

"Hell, the last time we were here was when you wrecked the bike."

  
He slowly ran his eyes over Cas. "God Cas...I'm so sorry. Words can't even express how sorry I am." He tried to sniff back tears. "The doctor said you're not outta the woods yet. I really didn't let him finish, but I think he meant your lungs could fill with fluid again."

  
He wiped his nose on his sleeve. "Cas...I don't know if you meant to or not...either way, some of this is my fault. I know it is. I've never yelled at you before. I've never even dreamed of yelling at you. I don't know what I was thinking, but you can be pissed all you want...okay? Just...just please don't die, Castiel."

  
Cas was very pale and there were dark circles around his eyes. Dean took in a breath. "I know you've been through hell and you probably feel like giving up, but please Cas. You can't die.' Dean reached out and took Cas' hand, holding it in both of his own for a few minutes, just staring at Cas' quiet self. Finally, Dean put his head down on the bed, letting sleep take him over for the first time in days.

  
"Dean."

  
His eyes shot open and immediately went to Cas. He was in the same position. Still very pale. His dark hair sticking up from every angle. Dean rubbed his eyes and sat back in the chair. A cup of coffee came into his line of sight. "Thanks." He took a sip.

  
"Hungry?"

  
Dean just shook his head, keeping his eyes on Cas like something would happen if he didn't. "You need to eat something." Charlie said quietly. Dean just took a sip of his coffee. "What time is it?"

  
"Quarter after three in the morning. Ellen went home a few hours ago. I told her I'd call if there was any change." Dean just nodded.

  
"Dean, please eat something."

  
"You should go home and get some sleep." Charlie just shook her head. "You're about as stubborn as he is." She pulled up an extra chair. "Do you remember when Cas wrecked his bike?"

  
"Not that easy to forget."

  
"He called me from your phone when he woke up. I asked where you were, he said 'Right in front of me sleeping.' Then he told me you looked like crap due to lack of eating anything. He could tell from one look that you weren't sleeping well or eating very much. You know what he did? He chewed my ass out for letting   
it happen. 'If I ever end up in the hospital again, you better shove food down his throat Celeste Bradbury.'"

  
Dean looked at her. "Celeste?"

  
"My real first name. I was adopted."

  
"I never knew that."

  
"You never asked." She looked at Cas. "I was in foster care too. I got lucky. The family adopted me. Right after I met Cas. My parents died in a car accident when I was eight. Hit by a drunk driver. They were on their way to pick me up from a slumber party."

  
"Wow, I'm sorry Charlie."

  
"It's okay. That's kinda how Cas and I became best friends. We were both foster kids."

  
*******

  
A flash went off in his face. He blinked and looked up. "Uh...excuse you."

  
"You're excused." She smiled, sitting in front of him. "Why are you sitting by yourself?"

  
"So people leave me alone."

  
"Not anymore."

  
"I can see that..."

  
"I'm Celeste. You can call me Charlie."

  
"Castiel. Cas."

  
"Pretty name."

  
"I guess."

  
Charlie grabbed a fry from his plate. "So. You're a foster kid huh?"

  
Cas looked up from his tray. "So it would seem." Charlie dipped the fry in ketchup and took a bite.

"Me too. Your family nice?" Cas just shrugged and moved his tray closer as Charlie went in for another fry.

"Can you not eat my food?"

  
"Hey, I'm hungry."

  
"Get your own. You get free lunch."

  
"How do you know that?"

  
"I know everything."

  
"What's the square root of pi?"

  
"1.7724."

  
"Square root of one hundred forty-­four?"

  
"Twelve. Any other stupid questions?"

  
"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

  
Cas cracked a smile.

  
"He does smile! Look at that."

  
"Yeah yeah." He pushed his tray to the middle of the table. "Just don't tell anyone. I have a reputation to hold."

  
****

  
Dean smiled at the story. "He wasn't the Cas we know now. He was actually very quiet and kept to himself."

  
"Until you."

  
Charlie nodded. "Took forever to break him out of his shell. But he slowly came into his own. When I found out about the abuse, he made me swear not to tell."

  
****

  
There was a knock on her window. She sat up to see Cas outside. She got up and ran to the window. "Cas? What the hell? It's the middle of the night."

  
"I'm aware of that Red. You gonna let me in or let me freeze my nuts off?"

  
Charlie moved out of the way and let Cas climb through the window. "Did you just climb the tree up here?" Since her room was on the second floor. She walked over to her nightstand and turned on her Princess Leia star wars lamp. "I'm up here aren't I?" She turned around and looked at him. "Cas! Oh my God!" His lip was   
split, his eye was starting to blacken, and his cheek was bruised.

  
Cas darted forward and covered her mouth with his hand. "Shh! Keep it down!" He whispered loudly. He let his hand fall to his side. "What happened?"

  
"What, you think the bruises I get are from everyday life? Try again."

  
"You mean...Cas, did they do this?"

  
"He, Charlie. Just Rob. Julie doesn't do anything."

  
"Cas, you have to tell someone!"

  
"No! Nobody can know. I have nowhere to go except back in the system. You have to swear you won't tell anyone. Ever."

  
She just looked at him. "Swear it Charlie. Please!"

She sighed. "Fine. I swear." He grabbed her copy of the Lord of the rings trilogy, the one with all three books in one. It had become something of a bible for them. "Swear it on Tolkien." He held the thick book out. She put her right hand on top. "I swear on the precious."

  
"The ring will hold you to your word.”

*

  
Charlie, now fifteen, walked into first period, catching Cas eyeing another classmate from his desk. She dropped her backpack in Cas' lap, causing him to jump. He looked at her. She smiled.

  
"What? You were drooling." He rolled his eyes as she sat down. "And who are we drooling over today?" She followed his eyes.

"Oh, wow." Seeing pretty much nothing but ass. "Well, if I were straight, I'd do whoever that ass belongs to." Again Cas rolled his eyes. The owner of the ass straightened and Charlie's jaw dropped. "Really Cas? Dean freaking Winchester? You have the hots for golden boy Winchester? The king of the school..."

  
"I get it Charlie. He's out of my league."

  
"More like out of your galaxy! Golden boy has only been with one guy that I know of, and the kid was a track star."

  
He sighed. "Okay Charlie...I get it."

  
"Just watching out for you. Don't want to see you get hurt by some stupid jock."

  
"It's appreciated. But no one said I couldn't admire from afar."

  
"True story."

  
Cas glanced back at the boy that the ass belonged to. "But, you never know. Stranger things have happened."

  
****

  
Dean rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'll... order a burger from the cafeteria."

  
"There ya go."

  
Dean looked at Cas again and squeezed his hand. Nothing. He leaned in and whispered in his ear. "I'll be right back. I love you, Castiel. I'm so sorry I got upset like that." He kissed Cas on the forehead and paused for a moment before heading toward the door. He turned around. "Charlie, if he so much as groans you come and find me. No excuses." Charlie gave Dean a thumbs up.

  
"Gotcha."

  
Dean walked down the narrow halls, trying to find the cafeteria and realizing it was on the first floor. "Of course it is..." He sighed and made his way to the elevator. He pulled out his phone and called Ellen. It went to voicemail after a few rings. "Hey, it's me. Just calling to let you know nothing has changed. Still hooked up, still unconscious. I'll call in a few hours." He hung up. He didn't know if he should be relieved or scared that nothing has changed. It could go either way, especially with Cas.

  
He finally found the cafeteria. He wasn't really hungry, but he didn't want Cas to get mad. He had never really seen Cas mad, but he imagined it probably wasn't something he wanted to see. He still felt horrible for yelling at him, he kinda deserved it if Cas did get mad at him for not eating or whatever. He sighed and sat down with his sandwich since they didn't have burgers. He sighed and took a bite, forcing himself to eat. He tried to remember the name of the doctor working the night shift, just in case. Miller? No...Mills. That was it. Jody Mills. Maybe he should go find her and ask her to run some tests or something. He felt absolutely   
useless sitting here eating a bland ham sandwich while Cas is fighting to stay alive.

  
He took a few more bites, then got up and threw the sandwich in the trash. He walked outside to get some much needed air. Leaning against the cool brick building, he ran his fingers through his hair. He felt like ripping his hair out. Instead, he slid down the wall and put his arms on his knees, letting his head fall back. He closed his eyes and went over everything. Four days ago, Cas was on top of the world. Then his world came crashing down within minutes. He couldn't get the image of Cas' face after yelling at him out of his head. And finding him like that...

  
His phone ringing snapped him out of his thoughts.

  
"Charlie­"

  
"Dean, you need to get up here...it's Cas..." There was a lot of commotion in the background. Dean hung up and took off running, head for the elevator. He punched the floor number repeatedly until it stopped. He bolted out the door and down the hall, running into people, almost knocking a few down. When he got to the room, he tried to go in but someone grabbed him. "Sir, you can't be here."

  
"Bullshit I can’t! That's my husband! I'm going in there!" He tried to get free. He could hear machines going off and everyone was running around and...was someone doing CPR?

  
More hands grabbed him, pulling him away. "Sir you need to let them work."

  
"What's happening?!" Charlie asked loudly.

  
"His right lung is filling with fluid and close to collapsing. They need to drain the fluid before that happens."

  
It took three nurses and two security guards to get Dean out in the hall and into the waiting room. He didn't stop struggling until Charlie took his face in her hands. "Dean, you need to try and calm down. This isn't helping Cas!" Dean stopped and looked at her. She was right. As usual. He clenched his jaw and backed up. It was like everything was suddenly in slow motion. The doctors and nurses were working fast and there was nothing Dean could do. He felt dizzy and the room spun. And then he saw black.

  
"Dean!"

  
He slowly opened his eyes to see Charlie looking down at him. He sat up slowly. "What just happened?"

  
"You had a panic attack. It was pretty bad too."

  
Someone helped him up and sat him on a chair. He leaned forward, putting his arms on his legs. "Have you ever had a panic attack before?" a doctor asked. Dean shook his head. "We may have to run some tests..."

  
"No."

  
"Mr Winchester, you might need to be admitted."

  
"No dammit! Just...no! Just tell me what's going on with Cas."

  
"The fluid was drained before the lung collapsed. He'll still need to be on a breathing machine and he's still unconscious."

  
"Dean, you should really go home and rest."

  
"I'm not leaving him."

  
"You'll worry yourself to death being here."

  
"No different then being at home."

  
"Look, Ellen is on her way. She'll stay up here and you can go get some sleep."

  
"I'm not leaving Charlie."

  
"Are you stupid? Or just suicidal?"

  
Dean looked at her. "What?"

  
"You know how pissed he'll be when he finds out."

  
"If he finds out."

  
"What does that mean?"

  
He gave her a look.

  
"Oh you have got to be joking. You­ you think he's gonna die."

  
"No...I don't know...I'm just­"

  
"Giving up on him?" You? Of all people?!"

  
"I'm not giving up on him. After everything Cas has been through, I've always been right there next to him. I never once gave up on him. I promised him Charlie. That no matter what I'd be there. I'll die before I give up on him because he still needs someone there, right next to him, believing in him."

  
"You're no good to him dead, Dean. If you don't go home and get some rest, you will be because I'll kill you myself." She smiled.

Dean sighed. "Fine. Only for a few hours."

  
He unlocked the door and stepped inside, hanging the keys on the hook. He took off his shoes and walked into the living room then collapsed on the couch. He made sure the volume on his phone was turned up all the way in case Charlie or Ellen called then put his arm over his face, falling asleep in seconds.

  
Three weeks. Three weeks with absolutely no change whatsoever. Doctor Mills told Dean that Cas was fighting very hard. Dean knew he was fighting with everything he had. That was Cas for you. They had to have Naomi's funeral without him, and Dean knew Cas would be upset about that, but there was nothing   
else to do about it.

  
Around three in the morning, Dean walked up the familiar dirt path to Suicide Drop. He sat down and looked up at the sky. He closed his eyes and took a breath. "Look, I'm uh, not good at this whole praying thing. Now is as good a time as any I guess." He opened his eyes. "Please. Don't take Cas away from me. I don't know what I'd do without him. He's everything to me. I can’t lose him. Please. Help him. Save him."

  
A week later, Cas was breathing on his own, but was still unconscious. Dean had fallen asleep with his head on Cas' bed, holding on to his hand.

  
****

He slowly opened his eyes, blinking against the bright white he saw. 'Please tell me I'm not...'

He blinked everything into focus. It took him a minute to realize he was in a hospital bed. Of course he was. What happened exactly? The last thing he remembered was sticking that fucking needle in his arm and falling asleep. So how...?

He looked to his left to see Dean, fast asleep with his head on the bed.

Wait...how much did he put in that needle?

Oh yeah...all of it. Well, that explains it. Overdose.

He put his arm over his face. Dammit. Which means Dean must have found him. Awesome.

Man was he tired. Maybe he should just take a quick nap...

 

****

  
"Well isn't that cute."

  
"Shut up Charlie. You'll wake him up. How long has he been out anyway?"

  
"Oh, I'd say eleven hours."

  
"Has he even slept?"

  
"Usually four hours a day. And yes, I forced him to eat by the way."

  
"Well look at that. You remembered. So, he had a panic attack?"

  
"Bad one. He even passed out. Surprised you know that."

  
"All because he was worrying about me. And I was slightly conscious at that time."

  
"Do you blame him?"

  
"Not one bit."

Dean stirred a little, slowly waking up. "You guys talk too much." He said, still half asleep. His eyes shot open and he sat up quickly. Electric blue eyes were looking back at him. "You're really slow on the uptake, aren't you?" Cas smiled.

  
"C-­Cas? How­? What?"

  
"Calm down before you hurt yourself Dean."

  
Dean didn't say anything. He just wrapped Cas in a hug.

  
"Dean...collapsed lung...can't breath..."

Dean backed off. "Sorry. I'm just­"

  
"I know." Dean looked into Cas' eyes and just stared. Cas laughed and raised an eyebrow.

  
"Keep looking at me like that and the doc is gonna get an eyeful."

  
"Sorry, I just... honestly didn't know if I'd ever see those eyes again."

  
"Well, lucky for you, someone upstairs likes me enough to let me bother you a little longer. Come here." Cas grinned at Dean. Dean leaned forward and kissed Cas on the mouth. He laughed.

  
"Didn't think I'd get to do that again, either."

  
"Okay, I'm gonna leave you two idiots alone and go get a coffee. I'll be back at some point." Charlie smiled at the two men and walked out of the room. Cas turned his eyes back to Dean.

  
"Cas, I'm... so sor..."

  
"It's okay." Cas put his hand on Dean's. "Really. You were worried. You've been there through a lot but that was..."

  
"Brutal."

  
"Understatement of the year but yeah."

  
Dean laid down next to Cas in the small space that was there.

  
"I don't think they expected a quarterback to shove himself in here," Cas said as he scooted over a little.   
"Well I'm doing it anyway."

  
Dean got himself settled and looked at Cas, who had a giant, cheesy grin on his face.

  
"Can I help you?"

  
"I think we both know there's no help for me." He kept smiling.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Good to see your wit is as sharp as ever."

  
"Did you expect any less?"

  
"Of course not."


	18. Half The Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...were nearing the end y'all! But don't worry, the sequel is being worked on as we speak!!!
> 
> Songs in the Chapter:
> 
> Alibis by Marianas Trench (written as JTH)  
> Masterpiece Theater 1 by Marianas Trench (Written as JTH)

Doctor Mills walked in, closing the door behind her. She stopped when she had seen Dean laying next to Cas. "Well this doesn't surprise me." She smiled. They looked at her. "Time to check your vitals Cas. Meaning ya need to get off the bed Dean. Just for a minute." Dean did as he was told. She walked over to Cas. "Got a good man there Cas. He yelled at just about every person on this floor that wasn't a patient or visitor trying to get them to something, anything." She smiled at him. Cas looked at Dean who shrugged and winked.

  
"Alright, need you to sit up." Cas slowly pushed himself up. Jody took out her stethoscope and placed it on Cas' back. "Deep breath. Don't get alarmed or anything Dean if he coughs. Totally normal." Dean nodded as Cas took a deep breath, holding it for a second then coughed. She moved the stethoscope  
to the other side. "One more." Cas took another breath then let it out a few seconds later and coughed again. "Well, your lungs are doing a lot better." She put the stethoscope on his chest. "Just breath normal."

  
He did.

  
After a few seconds, she put the stethoscope back around her neck. "Sounds like you have Arrhythmia."

  
Dean looked at her. "What's that? Is it serious?"

  
She smiled. "Just means he has an irregular heartbeat. It's very common even for people who haven't done drugs. I'll write a prescription to help keep it in check."

  
"Can it causes heart failure or something?"

  
"If it goes untreated it could lead to a sudden heart attack."

  
"So when can I bust outta here doc?"

  
"We'll hold you prisoner for a few more days just to keep an eye on you." She smiled.

  
Dean walked over to Dr Mills. "Will be be okay to tour and perform?"

  
"As long as he's careful and takes his medication."

  
"Good. He'd probably go crazy if he had to stop making music." He looked at Cas who had turned the tv on and was flipping through the channels. He looked back at Dr Mills "Does he have to quit smoking?"

  
"He doesn't have to, but I highly recommend that he does." Dean nodded.

"Well that should be fun."

  
"What should be fun?"

  
Dean turned to Cas. "You have to quit smoking."

  
"Fuck are you serious?!"

  
"Does it look like I'm joking?"

  
Cas slumped down on the bed. "Great." Dr Mills laughed. "Not happy with that is he?" Dean looked at her.

  
"You have no idea, but he'll live."

  
Dr Mills looked at Cas and smiled. "You're husband's a good man, Castiel. You should listen to him."

  
Cas rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah." Dr Mills left the room and closed the door.

  
"See? She thinks I'm awesome."

  
"Whatever, Winchester."

  
Dean walked back to the bed and sat back down next to Cas, then laid down.

  
"I'm taking a nap."

  
"But you just woke up."

  
"The last month has not exactly been a vacation, babe."

  
Cas laid himself next to Dean. A grin crossed his face. He pulled the back of Dean's shirt collar down and lightly kissed where his neck met his back.

  
"Cas."

  
"What?"

  
"You have a cannula in your nose and an IV in your arm, not to mention the fact that you've been unconscious for a month with a collapsed lung."

  
"Spoil sport." Cas rolled on his back and stared at the ceiling.

  
"But just imagine the look on the doc's face if she walked in and..."

  
"Cas!"

  
"Fine! Fine. I'm shutting up. Go to sleep."

  
****

  
Dean woke up and looked around. The room was dark and Cas wasn't in the bed. He scrambled to his feet.

  
"Cas?" A door opened.

  
"What?" Dean turned to see Cas standing in the bathroom, holding the door open. "What are you doing?"

  
"Peeing. Why you wanna hold it for me?" He looked at Dean.

  
Dean sighed in relief. Cas laughed. "What? You thought I disappeared on you? I don't think I'd be able to get very far with IV still in me."

  
"Well, you are a genius so..."

  
Cas flushed the toilet and washed his hands. "I've decided that if I have to start behaving I might as well start now."

  
"Wait. Are you telling me you're ready to grow up and do the adult thing?"

  
"Ready? Fuck no. Have to? Yes. I like living, surprisingly enough."

  
"Nothing like an overdose to put life in prospective." He walked past Dean to the bed and sat down. "This is gonna get boring." He fell back on the bed. Dean sat next to him. "Speaking of which..."

  
Cas looked at him. "You want to know if I did it on purpose." It wasn't a question. Dean nodded. Cas sighed and sat up. "It's kinda hard to explain. I knew if I did, everyone would get upset and probably fuck them up for awhile. Especially you and Charlie. If I didn't, at the time, I though I'd be fucked up probably for the rest of my life." He moved so he was sitting with his legs crisscross. "You know, sometimes I still have nightmares about Rob and Julie? Mix that with mom dying and a fuck ton of whiskey and I was pretty much a time bomb about to explode."

  
Dean nodded. "I kinda wondered. You seem really... put of it sometimes and at night you cam get restless. But I knew you'd tell me eventually."

  
"Maybe. I mean, there's only so much you can handle Dean. And I've been more than a pain in the ass. When you yelled at me, I felt like I kinda deserved it but in all reality I knew you were scared. Probably because you knew I'd probably derail but not know how bad it was gonna be."

  
Dean closed his eyes. "I hate myself for that. I've never felt like that with you. Ever. I just didn't know what to do. And you were slipping away from me before my eyes."

  
"You shouldn't hate yourself for being scared Dean. I kinda had an idea about how bad it would get. That's why I left. You had already seen me like that once. I didn't want to put you through that again, but I just made it worse."

  
Dean looked at him. "You didn't make anything worse."

Cas scoffed. "Yeah, sure."

  
Dean cupped Cas' chin with his fingers and turned his head so that their eyes were level with each others. Dean stared at his partner for a moment, and then he claimed his mouth in a deep kiss. After a few seconds he pulled back and looked back into Cas' eyes. "You will never, ever make anything worse. Ever."

  
"I just...I didn't mean to put you in a situation like that. Seeing me like that..." He dropped his eyes and looked at the bed.

  
"But I knew that this was a possibility. I knew that when I said "yes" and when I said "I do." And I meant it. And I'm still here, sitting with you on a hospital bed and I have been for a month."

  
Cas huffed a laugh. "Yeah, just like senior year." He looked at Dean, his eyes catching what little light was in the room. "Still. I'm sorry for putting you through that. It couldn't have been easy."

  
"Not one bit." Dean smiled. "But I'd do it again."

  
Cas returned the smile. "You're crazy Winchester." Dean shrugged. "Hasn't been fully proven."

  
"You're stealing my best line, Winchester."

  
"Yeah, but I stole your heart first."

  
"Yeah, and look what happened to it. Now I have to quit smoking and be responsible and shit." He laughed.

  
Dean dramatically clutched his chest. "Oh the horror!"

  
Cas laughed, causing him to cough. "Ugh, this coughing is already getting on my nerves."

  
"Do you need something to drink? I'll get you some water." Dean sounded a little frantic.

Cas smiled. "Calm down. Doc said coughing is normal. While you were asleep, doc said there's probably still a little fluid in my lungs. She also said I'm lucky I didn't get pneumonia. I'm probably gonna have to take some kind of steroids on top of whatever meds she gives me for the arrhythmia."

  
"Should I get you a pill box with the days of the week on it so you don't get confused?"

  
"Fuck you."

  
"When you're better."

  
Cas pumped a fist in the air. "Yes! There is a silver lining!"

  
Dean stood up. "Alright, asshat. Take it easy. I have some calls to make. Be back in a few."

  
"Ugh, fine. But only because I get to stare at your ass as you leave. Actually, when you get back, can you walk in backwards?"

  
Dean kissed Cas on the forehead and pushed him down on the bed playfully. "Love you."

  
"Whatever." Cas winked at the other man. Dean laughed and closed the door behind him as he left the room.

  
Cas let out a sigh after Dean closed the door and fell back on to the bed. His head was over edge and he looked out the window. He rolled over and pushed himself up and grabbed the IV bag, walking to the window. He looked out at the parking lot and the street. Running his fingers through his hair, he sighed. He  
coughed again. He let out a frustrated growl. He wondered if he'd have to go to rehab. Now wouldn't that just be the icing on the shit cake.

  
But, he hadn't used in a long time, so maybe they wouldn't send him off. Another cough. Another growl. The he realized he could probably moon the passersby. He was bored. Cas turned and started to sing Celebrity Status. More coughing. He kicked the IV cart. "I'm fucking twenty and I'm pretty much in the fucking glue factory," he said out loud to himself. He kicked the IV stand again and it fell to the ground, almost ripping the IV out of his hand. "Mother fucker!" He bent over and stood it up. The door flew open. "Cas?"

  
"I'm fine. The stupid fucking stand fell when I kicked it."

  
"Why did you kick it?"

  
"Because I can't sing."

  
"Umm... you sing like an angel."

  
"An angel with fucking COPD, maybe."

  
Dean walked over to the small table by the bed and put a brown bag on it. "Get over here. I smuggled this in for you."

  
Cas looked over at the table, then at Dean. "Wait. Is that...?"

  
"Yup. A Biggerson's bacon double cheeseburger, no tomato, and extra pickles."

  
"I knew I married you for a reason."

  
It didn't take him long to eat the whole burger. Dean just watched Cas as he ate. "Slow down, it's not going anywhere."

  
Cas threw a fry at him. "You try being unconscious for a month. See how hungry you are."

  
Cas looked at what was left of the burger. "I am forever grateful that Biggerson's is open twentyfour hours."

  
He finished the last few bites as the door opened. Dean grabbed the trash and shoved it in the garbage can so the nurse wouldn't see. She looked at Cas and smiled. "Good morning, Castiel. I'm here to check your vitals."

  
"Fine, if you must." He held out an arm. The nurse checked his pulse and blood pressure, asked him how he was feeling, and if he was in any pain. When she finally left, Cas threw himself back onto the bed.

  
"This is lame."

  
"Just another day or so, babe. And then we can go home."

  
"Speaking of home, have you like, been there?"

  
"A little. Mom and Ellen have been staying there."

  
"Oh God...not Ellen. How pissed is she?"

Dean shrugged. "Well, she was really worried, as we all were, and was relieved that you came out of it. But I won't lie; she's probably gonna pop you on the head."

  
Cas groaned. "Great. I'm a dead man. She's gonna kill me. Speaking of moms...did you...did you have her funeral?"

  
In an instant, the mood changed. They hadn't brought up the subject until now. "Yeah. It was small. I made sure the press stayed out of it."

Cas nodded slowly. "I should have been there."

  
"I'm sure she would have understood Cas."

  
"And I'm sure she would have bitch slapped me were she alive."

  
"If she were alive, you wouldn't be here."

  
"Well, you've outdone me there." Cas ran his hands down his face. "Did everyone say what a total loser I am? Can't even keep my shit together to bury my own mom. My husband had to do it because I put myself in the hospital."

  
"Nobody said anything except asked how you were and if they could help in any way."

  
"Well that's surprising. I bet most of them don't even really remember me." He rubbed his head.

  
The next few days couldn't go by fast enough for Cas. Dean could tell he was getting restless and stir crazy. Finally, Dr Mills gave Dean the green light to take him home. Dean decided to drive just so he didn't have to leave the Impala in Kansas.

  
Cas was just getting dressed when Ellen walked in. Cas sighed and looked at the ceiling. "Alright. Let's hear it." He looked at her. "I know you're pissed." She didn't say anything. She walked over to him and hugged him. "I'm just glad you're okay Cas." Cas put his arms around her and buried his face in her shoulder. "Me too. Thanks." He exhaled, which was followed by a cough. He stomped his foot. Ellen pulled back and messed up Cas' hair.

"Finish getting ready to go, Castiel. Oh, and uh..." she held out a hand. Cas looked at her hand and then at her, confused.

  
"What?"

  
"Hand 'em over."

  
"Hand what...? Oh, fuck, really?!"

  
"Yup. Doc said no more cigarettes. Dean said no more cigarettes. So..." she smiled at Cas. He rolled his eyes and handed her the pack that was in with his things.

  
"This is gonna suck."

  
"Probably. But you'll be better off. Now come here and hug me again." Cas did so. A knock came on the door.

  
"Hey, babe."

  
"Hey, yourself."

  
"Dean."

  
"Ellen." Ellen walked over to Dean and hugged him as well. "You call me if he gives you any attitude."

  
"You mean more than normal?"

  
"I can hear you."

  
They said goodbye to Ellen and headed down the hall, but in the opposite direction of the exit.

  
"Umm, Dean...?"

  
"We are going out the back. So you don't get bombarded."

  
"Ahh. Good plan."

  
They walked out the back and Dean opened the passenger door to the Impala. Cas slid into the seat and closed the door. Dean got in and stared it up. "What about my bike?"

  
"Bobby's got it covered. He gonna put it on a trailer and follow"

Cas nodded. "Can we make a stop first? I want to say bye to mom."

  
"Yeah, of course."

  
Dean drove them to the cemetery, which wasn't far from the house Cas and his mom had shared. He drove the Impala to a quiet corner of the grounds and parked. Cas paused with his hand on the door handle.

  
"You okay?"

  
"Yeah. Can I... can I have a minute?"

  
"Take your time. I'll be here."

  
Cas sighed and opened the door, stepping out of the car and onto the grass. He walked over to the headstone and looked at it. He coughed.  
"Mom, I...I'm..." He dropped to his knees in front of the stone. He bowed his head and closed his eyes. "I'm so sorry...I'm sorry I wasn't there. I fucked up mom. It wasn't your fault. It was mine. I was stupid and weak. I guess I couldn't handle it. I'm sorry." He looked at the head stone. "I wish you were here mom. I'll...I'll make you proud. I love you." He kissed his fingertips and pressed them to the stone. He got up and walked back to the car. Once inside, he stared out the window at the grave.

  
"You okay?"

  
"I will be. Let's just go home. I just want to be home."

  
Dean took Cas' hand. "Home then."

  
****

  
He was going absolutely insane. Even with the steroid he was taking, he still had trouble singing. Which was pissing him off. He knew it would take time, but shit, it's been weeks. He sighed and threw his lyric book across the bed.

  
"Problem?"

  
"Just the usual. Can't sing, so I can't work. Which means I just sit here. And you're leaving for training and I'm gonna be stuck here all by myself."

  
"Not by yourself. Charlie is flying out in the morning and you have the band."

  
"Yeah, great. Can you just shoot me?"

  
"Come on Cas it isn't that bad."

  
Cas looked at him. "I'm a singer and I can't sing."

  
Dean sat next to Cas and put a hand on his knee. "Just give it some more time. You do realize your lung actually collapsed, right?"

  
"I know, I know." Cas leaned against Dean. "I'll miss you."

  
"I'll miss you, too. Who knows? Maybe I'll get scouted soon and I can be closer."

  
"Let's hope."

 

****

 

  
Charlie was sitting in the living room channel surfing when she heard Cas playing his acoustic guitar. She got up and pulled out her phone, getting ready to record whatever Cas was doing just because she was bored. She walked upstairs and noticed the bedroom door was open. She peeked her head around the  
corner to see Cas with a pencil between his teeth, sitting with his legs crisscrossed with his acoustic guitar resting on them, and a notebook in front of him.  
She started recording. Right after she did, Cas started playing again. He stopped after a few seconds and took the pencil out of his mouth and played again.

After a few notes, he started singing.

  
_**From the scrapes and bruises** _  
_**To the familiar abuses** _  
_**I'll kick and scream but it never changes anything** _  
_**I could spill my guts out** _  
_**Wearing my best little girl pout** _  
_**And I almost missed it** _  
_**But nobody said that this was gonna be easy** _  
_**This is not the man I hoped to be** _  
_**And I'm just trying to stop the bleeding** _  
_**I don't know how to word it** _  
_**I just started to deserve it** _  
_**And all my, all my faces are alibis** _  
_**And me, I'm half the man I wanted to be** _  
_**Most times it all comes out wrong** _  
_**I don't know the words but I'll hum along** _  
_**There's nothing familiar here anymore** _  
_**To anyone or anything left to feel alive** _  
_**And I still taste that sickness** _  
_**And it makes me crazy without it at best** _  
_**But I'm in the same place I used to be** _  
_**But I'm trying harder not to be** _  
_**This is not the man I hoped to be** _  
_**And I'm just trying to stop the bleeding** _  
_**I don't know how to word it** _  
_**I just started to deserve it** _  
_**And all my, all my faces are alibis** _  
_**And me, I'm half the man I wanted to be** _  
_**So what am I? What am I? So what am I?** _  
_**And all my, all my faces are alibis** _  
_**This is not the man I hoped to be** _  
_**And I'm just trying to stop the bleeding** _  
_**I don't know how the words go** _  
_**I just started not to say no** _  
_**Don't want it, don't get it** _  
_**I know you won't regret it** _  
_**Don't surface, don't surface** _  
_**And I feel so damned worthless** _  
_**Another day is gone and all my faces are alibis** _  
_**All my faces are alibis** _  
_**And me, I'm half the man I wanted to be** _

  
In all the years she had known Cas, she never heard him sing like that before. It was beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. She had to send it to Dean. She realized there were tears running down her face. She dried her eyes with her shirt and quickly send the video to Dean along with a text that said "Look  
who's back and better than before."

  
Dean walked into his room, sweaty from hours of drills and team building. He tossed his bag on the floor and peeled off his clothing, stepping directly into a hot shower. He faced the front of the shower with his hand on the wall, leaning so that the water ran down his back. He played with his wedding band. He sighed. It had been almost three weeks since Dean had left Cas at their home and right now he could just say screw it all and quit so he could go back and hold Cas. He was almost at the point of not caring of anyone picked him up or not. The semester was over anyway, so what the hell was he doing here?

  
Stepping out of the shower, he threw on a towel and walked back to his room, throwing himself on the bed face first. He reached for his phone on the table next to the bed. The email notification was up, and it was from Charlie, a video. He opened it and let it play. Dean smiled and felt instantly happy when he saw his husband, sitting on the bed doing what he did best; write music. Dean had always thought it was adorable how Cas would chew his pencil while he thought. As  
the video played on, Dean sat up. Cas was singing. No coughing, no scratchiness... just him. And it was the best he'd ever sounded. Dean felt his eyes sting as he continued to listen and watch as Cas poured everything he had into the song he was writing as he went. Dean wiped his face with his towel.

  
When the video finished, Dean stared at his phone. He played it again. This time, when it was done, he stood up and got dressed. It was a weekend, and the had it off. He purchased a plane ticket from his phone and threw some things in a bag. Even if it was only a day, day and a half tops, it didn't matter. He was going  
home to he with his Perfect Disaster.

  
***

  
Cas was sitting out on the balcony of his small home setup, notebook on his lap. He looked up. The sun was setting. Painting the sky yellow, gold, and red. He smiled. Damn did it feel good to be making music again. He got up, opened the sliding glass door, and walked over to his guitar. He set the notebook on the  
floor and plugged his guitar into the amp, strumming and playing with the settings on the amp until he got the sound he wanted. He stepped up to the mic and turned it on. Then he strapped on his guitar, even though he still didn't have a shirt on. Hell, he still looked like crap and had just rolled out of the bed he had  
put in the room, but he didn't care.

  
Dean walked through the door. Charlie jumped up. Dean just put a finger to his lips. She nodded. He closed the door. "He's been singing his ass off all day." Charlie whispered as they walked up the stairs. Dean smiled.

  
They poked their heads around the corner just as Cas started singing with no music.

  
_**First it comes on quiet, creeping slow** _  
_**Clever words and phrases only stain** _  
_**I remain so lost and buried under everything that I need** _  
_**When all I want is you** _

  
He started playing his guitar.

  
_**I've been here so very long** _  
_**And every word is calculated** _  
_**Never questioned or debated** _  
_**All these practiced poses** _  
_**I could wreck it if i had to** _  
_**But I'm the wreck so what would that do?** _  
_**My masterpiece will fall apart** _  
_**It was over before the start** _  
_**If I burn out and slip away** _  
_**But this is just a part I portray** _  
_**And this is just a part I portray** _  
_**You're beautiful, can I hide in you awhile?** _  
_**But this is just a part I portray** _  
_**And this is just a part I portray** _  
_**They keep mostly to themselves** _  
_**Don't make a sound in case they hear you** _  
_**It only hurts me to be near you** _  
_**Keep those tired eyes closed** _  
_**Careful, follow my instruction** _  
_**And I will show you self-destruction** _  
_**This masterpiece is only mine** _  
_**Entirely guilty by design** _  
_**If I burn out and slip away** _  
_**But this is just a part I portray** _  
_**And this is just a part I portray** _  
_**You're beautiful, can I hide in you awhile?** _  
_**But this is just a part I portray** _  
_**Can I hide in you awhile?** _  
_**I just can't let it, let it out** _  
_**No I just can't let it out** _  
_**I just can't let it, let it out** _  
_**No I just can't let it out** _  
_**I just can't let it, let it out** _  
_**No I just can't let it out** _  
_**I just can't let it, let it out** _  
_**No I just can't let it out** _  
_**But this is just a part I portray** _  
_**You're beautiful, can I hide in you awhile?** _  
_**You're beautiful** _  
_**If this is just a part I portray** _  
_**If this is just a part I portray** _  
_**I don't know how it got this way** _

  
Dean smiled as he watched Cas finish playing. He was as natural as Cas gets, which was Dean's favorite. When he was done, Cas started to turn around. Dean moved so he was standing in the doorway. Cas took his guitar off and looked up. He smiled a huge smile.

  
"Dean! What are you...?"

  
Dean shrugged. "Missed you. And Charlie sent me a video she snuck of you playing the other day. On the bed."

  
Cas looked at Charlie. "Really? Please tell me you didn't post it on YouTube or anything."  
"Why would I do that?"  
"Because you're you."  
Charlie laughed. "Normally, yeah I would have. But I decided not to this time."

  
"Well that's surprising. Anywhore, what did you think?"

  
Dean hugged Cas. "I thought it was amazing."

  
Charlie clapped her hands. "Well, I'm gonna leave you two alone then. See you soon." Dean looked over at Charlie.

  
"I'll call you later."

  
She smiled at the two and took her leave, closing the door behind her.

  
Cas walked over to the equipment and turned everything off. "What did you think about the other song? The one Charlie sent you. And don't just say amazing. Gonna need more than that."

  
"I thought it was beautiful. Like you."

  
"Shit, you're sappy today."

  
Dean pulled Cas in close and kissed him. "Yeah well get over it. "

  
Cas smiled. "Or, you know, get in it." He put his tongue between his teeth and wagged his eyebrows. Dean claimed Cas' mouth again, backing him slowly up to the bed until he stopped at the foot. He broke the kiss and playfully pushed Cas down onto the mattress.

  
"Well look at you go, Winchester." Cas smiled. He grabbed Dean's shirt and pulled him down. "The wait has been driving me up a fucking wall." It seemed since they got home from the hospital, every time they tried to get intimate, Cas would start coughing and Dean would instantly back off, which drove Cas even more  
insane. It made for a stressful week. Dean pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it aside, climbing over Cas in the process and straddling him. He noticed a bulge in Cas' sweats.

  
"Well that didn't take long."

  
"Almost two months Dean. Granted, I was unconscious for one of those months, but still." He put his arms around Dean and pulled him down again. He kissed Dean like he was about to leave forever. He pushed his hip up, grinding on him. Both let out a soft moan. Dean managed to get his fingers to the waistband of Cas' pants, tugging them off his hips and exposing his erection. Dean gripped Cas in his hand and gave a light squeeze. Cas inhaled sharply, no coughing, thank  
God. He slowly fucked himself in Dean's hand. Dean pinned his hips to the bed. "Don't get ahead of yourself." He whispered. Cas' head fell to the bed. "Yes, get ahead of myself. Almost two months.”

"Which means it'll be even more awesome to drag this out."

  
Dean kept Cas pinned to the bed and leaned down, biting at one nipple and then the other, flicking the second one with his tongue as he pulled back.  
Cas arched his back and took another breath. "Dean..."

  
"Nope. Taking my time today." Dean flicked the other nipple with his tongue, causing Cas to let out a loud groan and grip the sheets underneath him.  
Dean smiled. Cas unbuttoned Dean's jeans, pushing them down. Dean kicked them the rest of way. Cas moved his hands over Dean's ass, squeezing his buttocks as he passed over them. Dean grunted into Cas' mouth and pushed himself down on him, dragging his own erection along Cas'.  
Dean felt the other man try to move his hips again. He pinned him down to the bed, harder this time. Cas opened his eyes and looked at Dean.

  
"I told you." The only response Dean got was a low moan. Dean kissed Cas' neck, then bit him lightly. Cas moaned a little louder, pushing his dick against Dean. "Dean...please..." He breathed into Dean's ear.

  
"Look at me." Dean whispered harshly at Cas. He wanted nothing more than to just let himself loose on Cas, but he was going to savor it as long as he could. Cas opened his eyes again and looked at Dean, smiling when he saw that his partner was just as wrecked as he was. Dean kept his eyes on the blue ones in front of him. He reached down and took his own hard cock in his hand and swiped the fluid that had leaked from the tip, lubing himself with it and then Cas' entrance. Dean then guided himself toward Cas, stopping just when he hit the skin. He bit his lip, then pushed in slowly. Cas' eyes fluttered shut and his head dropped back to the pillow. Dean took his time pushing himself in Cas. Cas bit his lip to stifle a moan.

  
"Dean..."

  
"I've got you baby."

  
Finally, mercifully, Dean bottomed out with a moan. He kept his pace slow, pulling Cas up so he was straddling him. Cas moaned and his head fell forward onto Dean's shoulder. Dean held Cas with one arm, the other arm bracing him on the bed.

  
"Oh, Cas... so good..." Dean sped up only slightly. Cas fell in rhythm with him. "So good."

  
"Uhhuh..." was all Dean got back in response.

  
A few minutes went by, and suddenly Cas was arching his back and let out a loud grunt.

  
"You okay?"

  
"Yeah just... lay me down."

  
"Okay..." Dean did as Cas asked and let him lay back on the bed. Cas wrapped his legs high on Dean's waist and pulled him in, gripping the headboard and moving his hips so that Dean went in deeper. Dean smirked.

  
"I know what you're doing."

  
Cas' eyes flew open. "I highly doubt that."

  
Dean smiled and pulled almost completely out, then drove himself fast into Cas, nailing that sweet spot deep inside. Cas yelled out and strained his neck back. Dean laughed. "You sure about that?" Cas opened his eyes. "Okay, maybe you did." He said breathlessly. Dean smiled and repeated the action. Again, Cas cried  
out, arching his back. "Fuck, Dean!"

  
Dean exhaled slowly, trying to keep himself from going over the edge. He leaned in and took over Cas' mouth, biting at his lip and caressing his tongue with his own. Dean plunged himself deep and slow again, making Cas groan into his mouth. Dean kissed a trail down to Cas' neck to his collarbone, lightly biting and  
sucking at the skin as he went. Cas grabbed a fist full of sheets. As Cas flexed his hips and back, Dean straightened himself and pushed Cas' legs back as far as they would go. He couldn't hold back anymore and he knew Cas wouldn't mind. Dean let loose, slamming into Cas' prostate again and again. Cas gripped the  
headboard again, knuckles white and eyes squeezed closed. Dean felt a warm sensation in his groin and couldn't think anymore.

  
"Dean... I'm..." Cas couldn't get the words out.

  
"Open your eyes, baby. Let me see those blues."

  
Cas opened his eyes and kept them fixed on Dean.

  
Dean kept his pace, hitting the sweet spot every time. He took Cas in his hand and stroked him. Cas' eyes fluttered, but didn't close. He moaned loudly and bit his lip. Dean's rhythm faltered briefly. He wasn't going to he able to keep this up much longer. He squeezed the tip of Cas' dick as he moved his hand over it. Cas yelled as came, shooting himself all over Dean's chest. He closed his eyes for a second, opening them and staring straight into Dean's. His eyes had turned from sapphire to ice, and it sent Dean flying. "Fuck Cas!" Dean was coming. Cas pulled him in and kissed him. "I love you." He whispered. Dean shook as he pumped out the last of his load. He took a breath and looked at Cas. "I love you, too," he said breathlessly.

  
They stayed there for a minute, catching their breath before getting up and showering quickly. Cas went to the dresser and grabbed boxers and socks. After putting on the boxers, he went to the closet, grabbing a white tank top and faded jeans. He grabbed his aviators off the nightstand. "Feel like going for a ride?"  
Jingling the motorcycle key.

  
"Always. Let's do it."

Cas smiled and led the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so...now that we're nearing the end...what predictions do you have for the end and the sequel? Leave a comment!!!


	19. Who Do You Love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Sorry about not updating. Life man...
> 
> ANYWHORE! I realized the one year anniversary of this story is next month so I'm planning something special!
> 
> Til then...I give you chapter 19!
> 
> Songs in the chapter:
> 
> Who Do You Love by Marianas Trench (written as JTH)
> 
> So Soon by Marianas Trench (written as JTH)
> 
> Riot Girl by Good Charlotte (written as a random band in a restaurant that I didn't name)

He swung his leg over and leveled the bike out and handed Dean the spare helmet. Dean strapped the helmet on and took his place on the seat behind Cas. Cas turned the key, bringing the engine to life. He revved it a couple of times, turning to Dean and kissing the air at him.

  
"You look good riding bitch."

  
"What a coincidence. Just a little while ago, I was riding a bitch."

  
"You liked it." Cas smiled at Dean as he turned forward and began to back the bike out of their garage. 

He looked back at Dean. "Might want to hold on tight." Two seconds later, Cas kept one foot on the ground, turned the handlebars, and hit the throttle. The bike turned itself while the back tire made a cloud of smoke. Cas put his visor down, lifted his foot, and hit the throttle more. The bike lurched forward and tore out of the driveway.

  
Cas smiled when he felt Dean tighten his arms around his waist. For some reason or another, taking a ride on the motorcycle together was not something they did often, so Dean wasn't used to how Cas drove. After a couple of minutes, relaxed and loosened his grip, setting his hands on Cas' hips.He went a little faster,   
swerving back and forth down the road.

  
He drove for a few minutes, then stopped at Starbucks, cutting the engine. He took off his helmet and rubbed the top of his head.

  
"Aww, are we on a coffee date?"

  
Cas darted his eyes back and forth for a second and then looked back at Dean. "Yes. Yes we are. Problem?"

  
"No. Just isn't usually your style." He stashed his helmet in the saddlebag next to Cas'. He took Cas by the hand as they headed into the shop.

  
"You do realize we're in public, with no bodyguard, and you haven't been seen at all in almost two and a half months."

  
Cas sighed. "But I do have a bodyguard." He smiled at Dean as he pushed the door open. "Besides, what better way to announce to the world I'm back?" He winked as they got in line. They walked up to the counter. The barista widened her eyes as she realized who Dean was. Dean smiled.   
  
"Wha..what can I get you?"   
  
Dean looked up at the menu board. "Umm, how 'bout a grande... no, venti... mocha with an extra shot of espresso for myself and... uh, what do you want, baby?"   
  
Cas took his aviators off. "Same. But with a shot of hazelnut." The barista looked back and forth from Dean to Cas.

"Wait...are you...Cas Novak? From Join The Hunt?"   
  
"Last time I checked, there was a Winchester behind the Novak, but yes."

  
"So, wait. I thought you were in the hospital?"   
  
Cas shrugged. "Nah. Been out for almost a month. We've been keeping it quiet. Figured since I almost kicked it, it would be a good idea to take it easy. And now I'm back."

  
She smiled. "Clearly. You're like, my favorite singer! I have all the albums and I've been to three shows, which always kick ass!"   
  
Cas smiled at her. "Thank you. Glad to hear people actually listen to the music."   
  
"Are you kidding me?! You're a lyrical genius!"

  
Cas beamed up at Dean. "See? The people agree that I'm a genius."   
  
The barista smiled again. "I'll have your order out in just a moment." She turned to make their coffees.

Dean looked at Cas as they moved to the pick­up area of the counter.   
  
"You seem happy."   
  
"I'm out of the house, my husband managed to sneak away from his team long enough to bone me... which was awesome, by the way... and I can work again. It's a pretty good day."

  
"I'm glad. So, back to the studio? Or tour first?" Dean asked.

Cas shrugged "Dunno yet. Probably studio since we already went on tour before the VMA'S."   
  
The barista set their coffee in front of them. "Well, you can try out a new song if you want. It's open mic night and some actual talent would be nice."

Cas looked at Dean, wide ­eyed with his mouth in an open smile.

  
Dean licked his lips and shook his head.   
  
"Fine! Go on and do your thing.."   
  
"Yes!"   
  
"But only after you just sit with me for a little while."   
  
"Well, I guess you can have that. Twist my arm.." They started to head over to the couch in the corner when Cas stopped.   
  
"Oh! Almost forgot." He turned back to the barista. With a grin, he reached behind the counter, grabbed a cup, and signed it, stuffing a one­ hundred dollar bill inside before handing it to her.

  
"You're officially my favorite, aside from the obvious."   
  
"You're good to them."   
  
"Yeah. They love me and I love them back."   
  
They sat and drank their coffees, talking and joking. Dean found himself just staring into those blue eyes.   
  
When the open mic started, they sat and watched a few of them. One kid was actually pretty good, singing an acoustic version of Push by Marianas Trench. The barista stood in front of the mic.

"Alright everyone, we have the lead singer of Join The Hunt here tonight, and he would like to sing something for us."   
  
Cas got up and walked on stage. "First off, are there any singers other than the kid that did Push?" A few people raised their hands. He chose three of them including the guy who sang Push. He gave them a basic rundown of the song and told them when to sing at what instruments to play and what it should sound like.

  
He put the keyboard in front of him. "Okay, so as some of you know, I kinda disappeared after my mom died a few months ago, and ended up in the hospital because I'm a dumb ass and overdosed. Anywhore, this song kinda reflects that."   
  
He grabbed a chair and sat down, moving the mic so it was right in front of him. He took a breath.   
  
  
_**Well, I've been deep in this sleeplessness, I don't know why**_  
 _ **Just can't get away from myself**_  
 _ **When I get back on my feet, I'll blow this open wide and carry me home in good health** _  
  
Everyone played their instruments at the same time. Cas played the keyboard along with them.   
  
_**God, it's been so long wide awake that I feel like someone else**_  
 _ **I'll miss the way that you saw me or maybe the way I saw myself**_  
 _ **But, I came back to you broken and I've been away too long**_  
 _ **I hear the words I've spoken and everything comes out wrong**_  
 _ **Just can't get this together, can't get where I belong**_  
 _ **(Who do you love?)**_  
 _ **Who do you love?**_  
 _ **(Who do you love?)**_   
  
Everyone sang.   
  
_**Well, I've been deep in this sleeplessness, I don't know why**_  
 _ **Just can't get away from myself**_  
 _ **When I get back on my feet, I'll blow this open wide and carry me home in good health**_  
 _ **Screaming, (Who do you love? Who do you love?)**_  
 _ **Who do you love? Who do you love?**_  
 _ **(Who do you love? Who do you love?)**_  
 _ **Who do you love?**_   
  
Cas sang by himself.   
  
_**From fable to fumble, from stable to stumble, nevermore**_  
 _ **I'll say goodbye to my demons and all my break­evens, ever yours**_  
 _ **I, I won't come back to you broken, I won't stay away too long**_  
 _ **Even if words I've spoken seem to still come out wrong**_  
 _ **I'll get my shit back together, get right where I belong**_  
 _ **(Who do you love?)**_  
 _ **Who do you love?**_  
 _ **(Who do you love?)** _  
  
Everyone sang   
  
_**Well, I've been deep in this sleeplessness, I don't know why**_  
 _ **Just can't get away from myself**_  
 _ **When I get back on my feet, I'll blow this open wide and carry me home in good health**_  
 _ **Screaming, (Who do you love? Who do you love?)**_  
 _ **Who do you love? Who do you love?**_  
 _ **(Who do you love? Who do you love?)**_  
 _ **Who do you love? Who do you love?**_   
  
Only Cas and the person playing the snare drum kept playing.   
  
_**Everything goes quiet, it's like I just can't move**_  
 _ **You say I might as well try it, there's nothing left to lose**_  
 _ **Nothing will change if you never choose** _  
  
Everyone played and sang   
  
_**Well, I've been deep in this sleeplessness, I don't know why**_  
 _ **Just can't get away from myself**_  
 _ **When I get back on my feet, I'll blow this open wide and carry me home in good health**_  
 _ **Well, I've been deep in sleeplessness, I don't know why**_  
 _ **Just can't get away from myself**_  
 _ **When I get back on my feet, I'll blow this open wide and carry me home in good health**_  
 _ **Screaming, (Who do you love? Who do you love?)**_  
 _ **Who do you love? Who do you love?**_  
 _ **(Who do you love? Who do you love?)**_  
 _ **Who do you love? Who do you love?**_  
 _ **(Who do you love? Who do you love?)**_  
 _ **Who do you love? Who do you love?**_  
 _ **(Who do you love? Who do you love?)**_  
 _ **Who do you love? Who do you love?**_  
 _ **Who do you love?** _  
  
The others got off stage when everyone started clapping. Cas played something different on the keyboard and looked up. "Well, as long as I'm up here, not trying to take advantage or anything. There's a song that I took out of the last album. I wrote it after there was a little uh, miscommunication with the man who's sadly, stuck with me for the rest of his life. Not to beat a dead horse...but, this has kinda been stuck in my head for like two years. This song is called So Soon."

  
He closed his eyes and played a note, then sang.

  
 _ **You say, sometimes, it's like I hardly know you**_  
 _ **And maybe there's some things I never showed you**_  
 _ **Sometimes you're certain, but just can't get it working at all**_  
 _ **You say to yourself somebody better**_  
 _ **Will understand you more than I ever**_  
 _ **I'll shake his hand, and smile, and say I understand. Well I do**_  
 _ **That don't mean I don't think about you**_  
 _ **I know we**_  
 _ **Said it's just as well that I won't keep, keep you for myself**_  
 _ **But, I don't want to see you happier with somebody else**_  
 _ **Oh, why can't you just be lo­lo, lo lo­lo, lo lonely?**_  
 _ **Why can't you just be lo­lo, lo lo­lo, lo lonely?**_  
 _ **Why can't you just be lo­lo, lo lo­lo, lo lonely?**_  
 _ **I know you need someone too**_  
 _ **This just feels so soon**_  
 _ **I know some things should just stay broken**_  
 _ **I'm well aware this should remain unspoken**_  
 _ **But I've been working on the things that I was learning all wrong, oh**_  
 _ **I know sometimes I only twist ya**_  
 _ **And maybe I'm too proud to say I missed ya**_  
 _ **But what if here and now, I tell you that I'm all figured out?**_  
 _ **Or maybe I just like how that sounds**_  
 _ **I know we**_  
 _ **Said it's just as well that I won't keep, keep you for myself**_  
 _ **But I don't want to see you happier with somebody else**_  
 _ **Oh, why can't you just be lo­lo, lo lo­lo, lo lonely?**_  
 _ **Why can't you just be lo­lo, lo lo­lo, lo lonely?**_  
 _ **Why can't you just be lo­lo, lo lo­lo, lo lonely?**_  
 _ **I know you need someone too**_  
 _ **This just feels so**_  
 _ **And I know it seems beneath me**_  
 _ **But sometimes it's not so easy**_  
 _ **To wish you well and let you go**_  
 _ **And I say it's just as well**_  
 _ **That I just can't keep you for myself**_  
 _ **I don't want to see you happier with somebody else**_  
 _ **Oh, lo­lo, lo lo­lo, lo lonely?**_  
 _ **Why can't you just be lo­lo, lo lo­lo, lo lonely?**_  
 _ **Why can't you just be lo­lo, lo lo­lo, lo lonely?**_  
 _ **This just feels so**_  
 _ **This just feels so,**_  
 _ **Feels so soon**_  
 _ **(Lo­lo, lo lo­lo, lo lonely?)**_  
 _ **Why can't you be**_  
 _ **(Lo­lo, lo lo­lo, lo lonely?)**_  
 _ **Why can't you be**_  
 _ **(Lo­lo, lo lo­lo, lo lonely?)**_  
 _ **This just feels so,**_  
 _ **This just feels so,**_  
 _ **This just feels so soon**_   
  
The small crowd that had gathered broke into applause and cheers. Cas thanked the others who played with   
him and took some pictures. After a while. He walked over to Dean, who handed him another coffee.   
  
"Good to see you're back in your element."   
  
"All thanks to my excellent caretaker." Cas took the coffee from Dean and took a sip. "Thanks."   
  
"Anytime. Now, I had debated cooking dinner for us tonight but since you're feeling up to par figured I'd let you pick. So, stay in and I make your favorite cheesy potatoes, or we go out somewhere. Your choice."

Cas thought for a second, then smiled that smile Dean knew so well that meant Cas had mischief on the brain.

  
"You know quiet isn't my style."

  
"And that's why I gave you a choice."

  
"You know me so well." Cas smiled. He looked at the barista.

"Thanks for the coffee." He put his arm around Dean and they walked out. Once outside, Cas unlocked the saddlebag and took the helmets out, handing   
one to Dean.

  
"So, oh fearless one. Where to now?"

  
"Well, home first so I can put on a different shirt. And then oh, I don't know... somewhere noisy."

  
Dean rolled his eyes. "Of course." He smiled as he put the helmet on.

  
When they got to the house, Cas' phone rang as soon as he walked through the door. He put it on speaker.

  
"Hey Red."

  
"Are you freaking kidding me right now?!"

  
"Uh...what am I supposed to be kidding about?"

  
"The songs in Starbucks."

  
"Well that was fast. We just left five minutes ago."

  
"And you're already breaking the internet."

  
"Well, it has been awhile since I've done that." He made his way upstairs and took off his tank top then headed to the closet. He looked through all his shirts, finally setting for a blue Hurley shirt.

"Yeah, well, the press is already going nuts." Charlie said.

Cas rolled his eyes. "Of course they are. This is the first time I've been in public since the VMA's." Cas said as he slipped on his shirt.

"Don't be surprised if the paparazzi comes knocking."

  
"Yeah yeah."

  
"Seriously Cas. You know they're gonna hound you about what happened."

  
"They're gonna hound me about everything. About winning three awards at the VMAs, about mom, about my relapse, and probably about where I put my dick. I'm not worried."

  
"As long as you know what you're up against."

  
"Always." He looked up from his phone to see Dean standing in the doorway, wearing his new, close­ fitting jeans and grey ­stripe button down. He had also rub some gel in his hair, making it just spikey enough to be different than his normal look. Cas licked his lips.

  
"Red, I gotta go. I might have to bend my husband over."

  
"Gross. Bye, rockstar."

  
"Bye, slut." He put the phone in his pocket. "Damn, Winchester. Don't you clean up all nice."

  
"Yeah, well, I try sometimes."

  
Cas ran his eyes up and down, taking in the view.

  
"Turn around."

  
"Seriously?"

  
"Come on, just do it."

  
Dean rolled his eyes and turned around. "Does it pass the inspection?"

  
Cas took a deep breath. "Oh. It more than passes. Sitting on that plane tomorrow night might be uncomfortable."

  
Dean just laughed. "Looking forward to it." He winked. Cas finished buttoning his shirt and walked over to Dean and kissed him slowly, then pulled away.

"Food first."

  
Dean kissed Cas again. “You ready?”

  
“Always.” Cas grabbed the keys to the bike off the rack by the door. Dean looked at him.

  
“You feel up to driving?”

  
Cas rolled his eyes at Dean. “Honey, please. I have been locked in this house for weeks. Yes. I’m driving.”

  
Dean laughed and eyed Cas. “You wanna like, put the diva back in her place or is she just gonna fly free today?” He grinned.

Cas stared at Dean, stone faced.

  
“You’re just jealous because I’m more fabulous than you.” Cas winked at Dean as he walked out to the garage to get the bike.

  
"So. You said noisy. Got somewhere specific in mind?"

  
Cas thought for a moment. "What about Lucky's On Main? They have awesome burgers and usually they have a live band. I wanna eat grease and dance and cause a problem."

  
"Lucky's it is, then. A burger sounds fantastic."

  
They walked across the parking lot, a few people already recognizing them and taking pictures. Some asked Cas for an autograph and a picture, which he happily obligated.

  
When the walked inside, Cas leaned against the hostess's podium. "Table for two?" The hostess asked.

  
"Nope. Three. Got an invisible third wheel and he tends to make things a bit awkward."

  
The hostess smiled as she grabbed a couple of menus. "Right this way, please."

  
She led them to a table near the stage area. There was a local cover band setting up for the night. Cas watched them as they put their gear in place.

  
"You gonna crash it?" Dean asked Cas as he looked over the menu.

  
"Haven't decided yet. I don't want to show them up. There are other ways I can make a statement, anyway."

  
"Oh yeah?" Dean raised an eyebrow at Cas. "Like what?"

  
"I'll just leave you to wonder and surprise you when I come up with something." Cas grinned at Dean. "You know you fell in love with me for my craziness. Admit it."

  
"It was definitely a factor." Dean put his menu on the table. "Cheese sticks or stuffed mushrooms?"

  
"Both. We're celebrating."

  
The waitress introduced herself and asked for their drink orders. "Whiskey. And keep 'em coming. And for an appetizer, we'll have cheese sticks and stuffed mushrooms."   
"You got it, guys. It'll be right out."

  
Cas sat back and continued to watch the band set up. A few minutes later, the waitress brought out a bottle of Jack Daniels and two shot glasses. Cas looked at the bottle then to Dean. "Remember drinking this at suicide drop?"

  
Dean smiled. "How can I forget? Along with smoking a joint, jumping in the lake half naked..."

  
"And sex."

  
Dean laughed. "Definitely the sex." He poured them each a shot and raised his up. Cas picked up his and did the same. Dean winked at his partner.

  
"Here's to many more years, good health..."

Cas rolled his eyes. Dean looked at him and went on.

  
"And to sex that just gets more awesome each time."

  
"Now that I'll drink to." He smiled, draining the liquid and setting the shot glasses down. The band started up as they finished their shots, leading the set with Aerosmith's Walk This Way. The waitress brought their appetizers to the table and took their order. A bacon cheeseburger for Dean and a double bacon cheese   
burger for Cas. Cas looked around the restaurant. There were definitely a lot more people in the place now and the seats were pretty much full. Cas downed another shot and began to wonder how he could stir up some trouble. In between songs, Cas figured he'd introduce himself to the band. He got up and walked over to the lead singer.

  
"Hey there."

  
The guy did a double take. "Hi... hi! You're Cas from Join The Hunt!"

  
Cas looked behind him then back at the guy. "Really? I had no idea!"

  
"Good one! What can I do for you?"

  
"Oh, just wanted to introduce myself. Hey, do you guys have any original songs? Like, ones you wrote yourselves?"

  
The guy thought for a moment. "Yeah, we do. There's one that we wrote awhile back but we got too nervous to play."

  
"Take my advice, play them. You have to have your own sound, your own style if you ever want to get anywhere. Back in school, we used to be a cover band too. But we'd always play at least one of our own songs. We got really lucky with winning a contest and got to play on stage during a Marianas Trench concert. Josh and I actually became very fast friends. We still talk. Believe me, if you can rock your own songs like you rock those covers, people will listen."

  
The guy grinned. "Thanks, Cas! I think we will."

  
"What's your name?"

  
"Alfie. Short for Alfred."

  
"Alfie's better."

  
"Definitely."

  
Cas shook Alfie's hand. "Go for it. You won't be disappointed." Cas watched as Alfie gathered his band and told them about playing their song and then went back to the table he shared with Dean.

  
"What did you just do?" Dean raised an eyebrow as the question rolled off of his tongue.

Cas smiled and took a bite of a cheese stick. "Told them to play there own music. Naturally, he listened because, well, I'm me." He smiled.

  
"Nicely done, babe."

Cas and Dean turned when they heard Alfie come over the mic.

  
"Hey there, folks. Gonna start off round two with one of our own. This is the first time we've ever played an original song out in public. Hope you enjoy."

  
Alfie turned to the rest of his band and nodded for them to start, and then turned back to the mic. The guitar player kicked it off.

  
_**She's got tattoos and piercings** _   
_**She likes minor threat, she likes social distortion** _   
_**My girl's, a hot girl** _   
_**A hoodrat who needs an attitude adjustment** _   
_**Christina, wouldn't wanna meet her** _   
_**She hates you Britney, so you better run for cover** _   
_**My girl's, a hot girl** _   
_**A riot girl and she's angry at the world** _   
_**Emergency, call 911** _   
_**She's pissed off at everyone** _   
_**Police, Rescue, FBI** _   
_**She wants a riot, she wants a riot** _   
_**And everywhere we go she gets us thrown out constantly** _   
_**But that's okay** _   
_**'Cause I know, I know, I know** _   
_**My baby would do anything for me yea** _   
_**Christina, wouldn't wanna meet her** _   
_**She hates you Britney, so you better run for cover** _   
_**My girl's, a hot girl** _   
_**A riot girl and she's takin' on the world, I said** _   
_**Emergency, call 911** _   
_**She's pissed off at everyone** _   
_**Police, Rescue, FBI** _   
_**She wants a riot, she wants a riot** _   
_**She wants a riot, she wants a riot** _   
_**Aah aah aah** _   
_**Don't you know that all I really want is you?** _   
_**(Aah aah)** _   
_**Gotta know that all I really want is you** _   
_**Emergency, call 911** _   
_**She's pissed off at everyone** _   
_**Police, Rescue, FBI** _   
_**She wants a riot, she wants a riot** _   
_**Emergency, call 911** _   
_**She wants a riot, she wants a riot** _   
_**Police, Rescue, FBI** _   
_**She wants a riot, she wants a riot** _

  
Cas jumped up on the table and cheered. The rest of the people in the bar were going crazy and had gathered around the stage. Suddenly, Cas yelled over the crowd.

  
"Next round's on me! Shots for all!"

  
The crowd cheered. Some headed to the bar, some continued eating. Cas jumped down and took another shot. Smiling at Dean.

"Am I awesome or am I awesome?"

  
"You're pretty awesome." Dean moved to the opposite side of the booth they were in so he was next to Cas. He pulled him in close and kissed him. Cas deepened the kiss, bringing himself as close as possible to Dean.

"Damn, Winchester. What are you trying to start?" he said against Dean's lips.

  
"Nothing that I can't finish later."

  
The band had started up again, this time with a solid bass beat. Dean pulled back and listened for a moment.

  
_I know you've suffered_   
_But I don't want you to hide_   
_It's cold and loveless_   
_I won't let you be denied_   
_Soothing_   
_I'll make you feel pure_   
_Trust me_   
_You can be sure..._

  
Dean eyed Cas and took him by the hand, pulling him out of the booth. He led Cas onto the crowded floor and pulled him in. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean's waist. Dean put his arms around Cas' neck as they fell in rhythm with the music playing. Cas pulled Dean closer.

  
"So, having fun yet?"

  
Dean smiled. "It's never a dull moment with you."

  
"I do like to keep it interesting. Keep you on your toes. Speaking of which..."

  
Cas moved his hand from its place on Dean's hip around his thigh and finally between his legs. He palmed the slight bulge that was already there. Dean hitched his breath.

"Dammit, Cas, what are you doing?" Dean whispered at him.

Cas tilted his head and grinned.

  
"Keeping it interesting and you on your toes."

  
Dean rolled his eyes. "People can see us you." Cas smiled that crooked smile of his. "And since when has that stopped either of us?"

  
Dean sighed. "Never. Kansas City was proof of that."

  
"Ahh, Kansas City. Such fond memories."

  
Cas palmed at Dean again, a little harder this time. Dean felt his neck and ears flood with heat. Cas laughed a little. Dean would always give in when Cas teased him in public, but he was reserved about it at first. Dean exhaled as Cas did it again, but his eyes nearly fell out of his head when he felt Cas begin to undo his jeans.

  
"Babe..."

  
"Sshh don't worry. I'm not gonna whip it out. Just needed a little more space to... ahh, there we go." Cas smiled a mischievous smile as he watched Dean bite his lip when he got his fingertips on the shaft, just barely inside Dean's jeans.

  
"You're... just evil sometimes."

  
"Evil genius. Get it right, Winchester."

  
Cas was just about to have a little more fun when the waitress arrived with their food. Dean laughed and kissed him.

  
"Food first."

  
Cas smiled. "Always food first."

  
They walked over to their table and sat down. While they ate, Cas quietly took off his shoe and rubbed it against Dean's thigh, then slowly moved up to his slight erection. Dean jumped. His fork dropped to his plate and he looked up at Cas. He looked up at Cas, who had a 'what did I do something?' look on his face. Dean smirked.

  
"You know exactly what you did."

  
"But I'm a perfect angel with COPD."

  
"You do not..." Cas flexed his foot. Dean's eyelids fluttered.

  
"Lose your train of thought?"

  
"Fuck you," Dean whispered.

  
"No. I think it's my turn. I only have you for a little longer."

  
Dean just rolled his eyes. As soon as he took another bite, Cas flexed his foot again and rubbed against the bulge in his partner’s pants. Dean closed his eyes and moaned quietly.

  
"Good food?" Cas asked, that crooked smile on his face.

  
Dean look at him. "Very funny."

  
"I think it's hilarious."

  
"Are you trying to make me come in my pants?"

  
"Well, now that you bring it up..." Cas slouched in his seat a little, making teasing Dean even easier. He used his big toe and a little more pressure, starting at the base and moved up Dean's length to his tip. He flicked at it with his toe. Dean hit the bottom of the table lightly with his fist.

  
"Table manners, baby."

  
"You should talk."

  
"Or, not talk. I could do a lot of not talking." He massaged Dean with his foot again, not stopping this time. Dean finally gave up and hung his head, closing his eyes and groaning quietly. Cas bit his lip; watching Dean as he gave in had him hard.

  
Dean gripped the table and his jaw clenched. Cas payed very close attention to Dean, and his surroundings. Stopping when someone would walk past or looked in their direction. When he continued, Dean let out a soft moan. After a couple of minutes, Dean looked up at Cas, smirking when he saw Cas' face was flushed. He licked his lips.

  
"Ask for the bill." Dean's voice was rough.

Cas looked at Dean. "What?"

  
"The bill. Ask for it when she walks by."

  
"Fuck, finally." Cas removed his foot and slipped his show back on. Dean took a couple of deep breaths and made an attempt to compose himself, suddenly really glad he had brought a jacket in with him. He straightened himself in his seat.

  
"Excuse me, can we get some boxes for the food and pay the bill please?" Cas asked the waitress as she passed.

"Sure thing." She smiled.

  
When they got to the parking lot, Dean decided to get a little payback. Cas got on the bike first, then Dean. When Cas started the bike, Dean put his hands on Cas' waist like usual. Then slid one hand over Cas' bulge.

  
Cas' hand slipped, revving the engine. He dropped his head.

  
"Dean, I have to drive..."

  
"Call it payback." Dean pressed the heel of his hand on the base of Cas' cock, rubbing outward slowly.

  
"I've never backed down from a challenge have I.... oh my God..." Dean laughed as his husband shuddered in response to Dean gently massaging his tip with his fingers.

  
Cas was thankful that it was dark out and that there was very little traffic on the road, because Dean had somehow undone Cas' pants with one hand and was now gripping his erection at the base, squeezing lightly and barely stroking. Cas sped up the bike as he felt his neck get hot. Dean smiled when Cas shuttered again. Cas kept his eyes focused on the road. "Keep it up and I'm gonna pull over and take you on the side of the road."

  
Dean pushed his hand down again causing Cas to moan.

  
The ride almost seemed to drag. Finally, they made it home. Dean barely had time to close the door before pushed him against it, running one hand up Dean's shirt and the other dipping down into his jeans. Dean ran his hands up Cas' back, digging into the skin with his fingertips and scratching lightly. He leaned in enough to take over the other man's mouth, thrusting his tongue into the depths and nipping at his bottom lip. Cas shuddered again, then hastily tore Dean's shirt, revealing his muscled chest and torso.

  
"This was my favorite shirt..." Dean said against Cas' mouth.

  
"Shut the fuck up, Dean Henry." Cas pulled away from Dean's mouth and feasted on his chest, biting at his nipples as he went. Dean's head fell back to the door, a moan slipped past his lips. Cas unbuttoned and unzipped Dean's jeans, yanking them down to his ankles. He moved back up to Dean's neck, biting and sucking the skin.

  
"Cas..."

  
"Shh, we'll get there. It's my turn to have fun."

  
Dean managed to free himself of his jeans, pushing them to the side with his foot. Cas kept working, making his way down Dean's body. Cas nipped at Dean's hips, flicking his finger across Dean's slit. With the same finger, he rubbed Dean's hole and took Dean's cock into his mouth at the same time. Dean's knees buckled and he let out a loud, deep groan, nearly slipping down the door. Cas put his other hand on Dean's stomach, signaling him to stay upright. Dean groaned again. Cas flicked at Dean's slit again with his tongue.

  
Dean grabbed a fist full of Cas' hair and tugged lightly. Cas took Dean in his mouth once more and slowly pushed his finger in, feeling Dean tighten around his finger. Dean moaned louder.   
"Cas..." He looked down and was met with electric blue looking up at him.

  
Cas met Dean's eyes, keeping them locked as he sank his mouth down on Dean's cock again.

  
"Cas... mm... shit!" Dean threw his head back against the door as he felt Cas slide another finger in with the   
other one. Cas pushed his fingers further in, brushing a certain cluster of nerves. Dean's legs almost buckled again. Cas straightened and removed his fingers then pulled Dean into the living room. Without warning, he bent Dean over the coffee table and removed his own clothing. He rubbed his tip over Dean's hole then slowly pushed in. Dean sucked in a breath.

"Fuck Cas!"

  
"Oh you have no idea."

  
Cas exhaled slowly as he felt Dean tighten around him. Two months. But it felt longer. Cas finally bottomed out and was met with a long sigh from Dean, who was laying with his head on the edge of the table, gripping it with both hands. He yelled out as Cas plunged into him, directly onto his prostate. Cas drove into Dean a few more times. Suddenly, Dean felt the table move.

  
"Cas..."

  
"Don't worry, baby, I got you..."

  
"Cas..." There was that bundle of nerves again. "...the table..."

  
Cas pulled out of Dean and flipped him over, pulling him up at the same time so that he was flush against him. The glass table shattered as soon as Dean was off of it. Cas shrugged.

  
"Guess I'm going shopping tomorrow." He tossed Dean onto the couch.

  
Dean looked up at Cas. "A little rough today. I like it."

  
"I'm not even done yet." Cas climbed on top of Dean, running his palms up Dean’s torso. "Just try to keep your eyes on me Winchester." Cas said right before he slammed into to Dean. Hitting his prostate. Dean cried out, gripping the light tan suede couch, digging his blunt nails into the material. He kept his jade eyes   
fixed on Cas. Cas grabbed his hips and repeatedly thrust hard into him. Dean's eyes fluttered but stayed open as he   
moaned loudly.

  
Dean reached out to take his own cock in his hand. He was so close; that pain-­pleasure feeling was building and he was quickly shutting down. Cas grabbed Dean's hand and guided his arm back over his head.

  
"Not today."

  
"I... Casti..."

Cas smiled as much as he could smile. Dean was completely obliterated and Cas loved it. Hell, he knew Dean loved just as much. Dean worked his hips in time with Cas. As soon as he fell into rhythm, Cas faltered. Cas' head fell back in a moan. He looked back at Dean, keeping himself focused on everything Dean was   
doing. Watching had become his favorite part since they were teenagers trapped in the shower because Mary had come home for lunch.

  
He watched Dean's muscles tighten and relax, the beads of sweat forming on his forehead, they way he licked his lips right after he moaned.

  
"Cas..." Dean was so close. Cas looked into his eyes. His pupils blown wide. Cas smiled.

  
"You gonna come baby?"

  
All Dean could do was nod.

  
Cas' smile grew. "You want me to make you come?"

  
Again Dean nodded. Cas pulled out and got Dean to his feet then sat down. He held his cock up with one hand and pulled Dean down with the other. Then he held Dean up and slammed into his prostate hard and fast. Dean's head fell back.

  
"Yeah, that's it, come for me baby. So good for me."

  
Dean's breath shallowed. "Fuck Cas! I'm....fuck!" Dean shook with the force of his orgasm. Cas' head fell back to the couch. Listening to Dean sent him over the edge.

"Shit Dean! I'm coming." He slowed, filling Dean before slowly pulling out.

  
Dean moved so he was facing Cas. "Where did that come from?" He was still trying to catch his breath.

Cas smiled. "There's a reason I always eat first. More energy."

  
Dean laughed. "You have always had an endless supply of energy."

  
"That may be, but eating always gives me that extra boost."

  
Dean shook his head, smiling.

  
Cas leaned in and kissed Dean slowly, smiling into his mouth when he heard the other man sigh softly. Cas pulled back.

  
"I love you."

  
Dean opened his eyes, still bright green and dilated.

"I love you too."


	20. Ever After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well lovelies...this is it. The final chapter. Thank you to everyone who has read, commented, given kudos, and shared this amazing journey. But the journey is not over for these two yet. There will be a sneak peek at the end of this chapter.
> 
> As always ENJOY!
> 
> Songs in the chapter:
> 
> Here's to the zeros by Marianas Trench  
> Beside you by Marianas Trench  
> Ever after by Marianas Trench
> 
> (All written as Join The Hunt)

Dean woke up a few hours before the sun. He rolled over to see Cas sprawled out across his half of the bed, his face smushed into the pillow. His mouth was open and he was snoring lightly. Two months ago, Dean thought he would never see this sight again, that all he'd have left were memories and pictures.   
He honestly had no idea what he would have done if he would have lost Cas.

  
He moved in closer to the sleeping man. He didn't want to wake him up, but kissing him was a must. Dean pressed his lips gently to Cas' and was happy when Cas responded by kissing him back briefly.

  
"Good morning," Cas muttered, still half sleeping. Dean smiled.

  
"Good morning. I'm gonna make us breakfast. No rush, okay?"

  
"Yeah... mmhmm..." Cas fell back to sleep, mouth still open. Dean just looked at him. There was still 6 weeks left of training, and he had to stay at the college for that. Leaving again was like having to decide which limb he didn't want anymore. He hated leaving Cas. Every time he did, it was like someone had taken a piece of him and he was left with this hole in his heart. He imagined Cas felt the same way, maybe more.

  
Dean took one last glance the messy black hair and gaping mouth in front of him before finally sliding out of bed and putting on a pair of sweats.

  
Cas slowly opened his eyes. The smell of food hit him and he sat up. He slowly got out of bed and put on some basketball shorts. Still half asleep, he went downstairs to the kitchen and plopped down in a chair, resting his head on his arm.

Dean laughed. Sometimes it was hard to believe that Cas was a grown man. Especially in the morning; with his messy hair, half open eyes, and half asleep smile, he still managed to look every bit of breathtaking he had always been.

  
"Tired?" Dean grinned as he asked the question.

  
"Mmm."

  
"You're fault."

  
"You liked it."

  
Dean laughed. "Yeah, you're not wrong." He looked at his husband and was met with intensely bright blue eyes. Cas was staring at him.

  
"Do you have to leave?"

  
"Unfortunately, yes. I wish I didn't have to. But I'm not gonna get signed if I miss. They're scouting right now and I'm in high demand."

  
"You're in high demand here too." He sighed, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "It's bad enough when I'm on tour for half a year..."

  
Dean leaned against the counter. "I know babe. But we knew what we signed up for when we graduated."

  
Cas looked at him. "I know. I'm just being selfish."

  
Dean put eggs and bacon on plates and walked over to the table, setting the plates down and sitting next to Cas. He put his head on his shoulder.

  
"Soon, babe. It'll even out soon."

  
"Here's hoping." Cas put his face in Dean's hair.

  
They ate mostly in silence. Dean was actually a little confused. Cas had never been this vocal about Dean leaving before. Maybe it was because of what happened, he didn't really know for sure.

  
"So when are you gonna start making the new album?"

  
Cas swallowed his bite. "Probably later this week." He didn't sound very enthusiastic about it like he normally would be.

  
Dean stared at Cas. Finally, he pushed his plate away and turned in his chair to face Cas.

  
"What's wrong?"

  
"Nothing."

  
Dean took the fork out of Cas' hand and set it on the table.

  
"Castiel James. What's wrong?"

  
"Why would anything be wrong?"

  
"Because I know you. I know when something is off."

  
Cas looked down at his plate, pushing the bacon almost off the plate with his index finger. He pushed the plate away and sat back in his chair. "I just...don't want you to leave is all." He looked up at him.

  
"Why? I mean, I know neither of us like being away from each other but, you've never acted like this before."

  
"Like I said, I'm just being selfish."

  
"No, that's not why. You know you can tell me Cas."

  
Cas huffed a laugh that held no humor. "Forget it. Forget I said anything."

  
"Cas..."

  
Cas stood up and went to grab his plate. Dean grabbed his hand and stood. "No. I'm not gonna just drop it. Tell me Cas. Just please­"

  
"I don't want to be alone alright?!" The words came out in a half yell. They locked eyes. "Bad shit always happens when we're apart. Getting shot, Jaxon, overdosing..."

  
Dean looked sadly into Cas' eyes. "Well, you're dad's not a thing anymore, Jaxon will eat dirt if he does anything ever, and the overdose was the result of a mental breakdown. Not that those things weren't awful, because they were, but there were other factors. And you're gonna be busy with the new album and with the guys." He took Cas' hand and kissed it. "I'm coming back, baby. And I'll see if I can come home again in a couple of weeks."

  
Cas sighed. "No, you're right. You just go get drafted. I'll be fine."

 

  
Dean sighed. "If you are absolutely not okay with me leaving, I'll stay."

  
"What?" Cas looked up at Dean, wide­-eyed. "Dean, no..."

  
"I'm serious. You're obviously not alright with it and... I can't live with myself if you're feeling like that and I'm hundreds of miles away."

  
Cas leaned in. "No. You need to go and do this and get it over with. It's only a few more weeks. And you'll work it out to come home again soon." He kissed Dean. "It's okay. I'm okay. Really."

  
Dean looked at him. "Are you absolutely sure?"

  
"Yes Dean. Like you said, I'll be occupied with the album. I'll be fine."

  
Dean pulled Cas close and kissed his forehead. "Alright babe, if you're sure."

  
It seemed every drive the took to the airport was a quiet one. Neither of them really knew what to say. Dean was still worried about Cas so he called Charlie and told her to check up on him a few times a week.

  
As usual, they promised to Skype, text, and call every day. The hardest part for Dean was always having to leave. "I'll be back as soon as I can." He kissed Cas on the forehead.

Cas smiled. "Take your time, but you know, hurry up and get drafted. Preferably somewhere close."

  
Dean smiled. "I'll see what I can do. Now, get to it. You have an album and a show to put together."

  
Cas smiled. "Just think, in about twenty years, we can retire."

  
"I am so looking forward to that." Dean pulled Cas in by the waist and kissed him again. "Alright. I have to sit on a plane. And you need to go buy us a new coffee table. Maybe one that's a little sturdier."

  
Cas smiled. "No glass. Got it." He pulled away. He looked in to Dean's eyes. "See you later ever after."

  
"I'll be back before you know it perfect disaster."

  
Dean disappeared into the terminal. Cas waited until his plane was in the air and on it's way back to Texas to leave. He gripped the steering wheel of the Impala tight as he drove out of the parking lot and headed home.

  
****

  
Cas was sitting backstage, minutes before the show was supposed to start. He was sitting with his arms on his legs. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before opening his eyes and looking up.

  
"You ready?" Adam asked.

  
Cas looked at him. "Oh yeah." He smiled and stood up.

  
"Alright, asshats, gather 'round." Cas called to the guys. They all came over and stood in a circle. Cas looked at each of his friends.

  
"It's been a long, long, long, and absolutely insane road but here we are. We're gonna do what we do best, and that's put on a kickass show and have a blast doing it. Now, who's ready to get to business?"

  
He was met with cheers from Adam, Benny, and the rest. He smiled.

  
"Well then, let's fucking get out there!"

  
It was the first concert since his mom passed. The band walked out on stage. Cas stepped up to the mic.

  
"So, as you all know, my mom passed a few weeks ago. I just want to thank you guys for all your love and support."

  
Cas walked over and grabbed his guitar then returned to the mic. "So anywhore, we're about to hit the studio and make a new album."

  
The crowd screamed. Cas ran his fingers through his hair and pulled his guitar in front of him.

"This is just a little something that might be on the album. It's called Here's To The Zeros"

 _ **Hey kids, do you wanna do what I do?**_  
 _ **I got sick, got kicked out of high school.**_  
 _ **I guess then, I kinda got arrested,**_  
 _ **With a car and a chase and a drug test.**_  
  
_**But these days, they don't wanna be near that.**_  
 _ **'Cause if it's selling records they don't wanna hear that.**_  
 _ **Clean cut, we do it like Disney.**_  
 _ **Well adjusted, trusted, trust me.**_  
  
_**Party anthems get them dancin'.**_  
 _ **Well I'm the king of second chancin'.**_  
 _ **Airbrush, shiny, notoriety.**_  
 _ **They disappear into the back to go and get high-ity.**_  
  
  
_**Hey! Ho!**_  
 _ **Where did all the good go?**_  
 _ **Baby, this is where you're dead wrong.**_  
 _ **Alright!**_  
 _ **Hey! Ho!**_  
 _ **Here's to all the zeroes!**_  
 _ **And every misfit,**_  
 _ **And all my down and outs.**_  
  
  
_**You don't sing, you got a young look so,**_  
 _ **It's nothing auto tune can't fix though.**_  
 _ **MTV don't play videos.**_  
 _ **And no guitar is allowed on the radio.**_  
  
_**These days, I kinda just pretend so,**_  
 _ **I guess I don't mind, it depends though.**_  
 _ **I get stuck to every innuendo.**_  
 _ **But it doesn't seem to matter in the end so,**_  
  
_**They say, "Where's the next hit, baby? ".**_  
 _ **God, how could I top 'Call Me Maybe'?**_  
 _ **Well I'm delirious, she's bi-curious.**_  
 _ **Let's disappear into the back to go and get serious...**_  
  
  
  
  
_**Oh oh, "Hallelujah" up for ransom.**_  
 _ **Cash value for hashtag "anthems".**_  
 _ **Sing it now!**_  
  
_**("Hallelujah" up for ransom.)**_  
 _ **Woa-ooh!**_  
 _ **(Cash value for hashtag "anthems".)**_  
 _ **Ooooh, yeah yeah yeah! I sing "hallelujah"! Hallelujah! Yeah!**_  
 _ **Hey, ho! Where did all the good go?**_  
 _ **Hey, ho!**_  
  
_**Where'd the rock and roll go?**_

_**Hey! Ho!** _   
_**Where did all the good go?** _   
_**Baby, this is where you're dead wrong.** _   
_**Alright!** _   
_**Hey! Ho!** _   
_**Here's to all the zeroes!** _   
_**And every misfit,** _   
_**And all my down and outs.** _

 

  
Cas was finally feeling at home on the stage again. He had almost forgotten how good it felt to be up there, in the lights, playing his music and interacting with the fans. It's what he'd always been good at. The crowd was going nuts. During Celebrity Status he jumped off stage and walked through the crowd singing and jumped along with them.   
  
Cas walked back onto the stage after a few minutes, singing as he went.

  
"...they will buy you and sell you for celebrity status..."

  
He held the microphone out to the crowd.

  
"STEP ONE, STEP TWO, STEP THREE..."

  
"...repeat!..." Cas smiled as he brought the mic back to his face and finished the bridge. He put the mic back on the stand and played the guitar solo. The whole concert he was high energy as usual. Cas was himself, running around the stage and jumping around. You’d never know that he felt incomplete at all by just   
watching him.

  
Two hours passed in a blur. Finally, it was time for the last song of the night. Cas stepped up to the mic, panting from the intensity of the evening.

  
"So, you having a good time?"

  
The crowd roared. Cas nodded and grinned.

  
"Awesome. Alright, people. It's time for... the last song." A joint "aww" filled the room.

  
"Don't worry, don't worry. I'll be back around before you know it." He strummed his guitar.

  
"I'm gonna get gross on you fuckers for a second. There's uh, this guy..." The audience screamed. Cas laughed and continued. "...and he's pretty great and he has been by my side since we met. I gave him a million reasons to leave and that asshat decided to stick around and make it permanent. He is my everything, my life, and just plain mine dammit."

The crowd roared again.

  
"He's not able to be here tonight because he's busy doing sports stuff and I think he's gonna be signing his life away, but I guess I'll find out when I get home and the house is outfitted in whatever team colors we end up with." Cas hit a chord on his guitar. "I wrote this for you, Dean Winchester. You've been there for me, and I'll always be there for you. This is Beside You."

  
_**When your tears are spent on your last pretense** _   
_**And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense.** _   
_**When it's in your spine like you've walked for miles** _   
_**And the only thing you want is just to be still for a while** _   
_**If your heart wears thin I will hold you up** _   
_**And I will hide you when it gets too much** _   
_**I'll be right beside you** _   
_**I'll be right beside you** _   
_**When you're overwhelmed and you've lost your breath** _   
_**When the space between the things you know is blurry nonetheless.** _   
_**When you try to speak but you make no sound** _   
_**And the words you want are out of reach but they've never been so loud** _   
_**If your heart wears thin I will hold you up** _   
_**And I will hide you when it gets too much** _   
_**I'll be right beside you** _   
_**I'll be right beside you** _   
_**I will stay.** _   
_**Nobody will break you,** _   
_**Yeah.** _   
_**Trust in me, trust in me.** _   
_**Don't pull away** _   
_**Trust in me, trust in me.** _   
_**I'm just trying to keep this together,** _   
_**Because I could do worse and you could do better** _   
_**Tears are spent on your last pretense** _   
_**And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense.** _   
_**If your heart wears thin I will hold you up** _   
_**And I will hide you when it gets too much** _   
_**I'll be right beside you** _   
_**Nobody will break you** _   
_**If your heart wears thin I will hold you up** _   
_**And I will hide you when it gets too much** _   
_**I'll be right beside you** _   
_**Nobody will break you.** _

  
Near the end of the song, Dean walked out. He looked out at the crowd and put his fingers to his lips. He stood right behind Cas and put his hands in his pockets.

  
When the song ended the crowd pointed behind Cas. He turned around to see Dean standing there in a San Diego Chargers jersey, faded jeans, and Converse. Dean smiled at him.

  
Cas pushed his guitar behind him and hugged Dean like he hasn't seen him in years. The crowd was going nuts. Dean dipped Cas, kissing him full on the mouth, deep and slow. The audience shrieked and cheered. When Dean finally pulled away, Cas just stared at him, grinning. Adam passed Cas a mic.

  
"When did you even get here?!"

  
Dean put Cas back upright. Adam brought over a second mic.

  
"Oh, I don't know. An hour ago. Was gonna wait in the back but I heard you start Beside You so I decided to make an appearance."

  
Cas beamed at Dean. Dean spoke to the fans.

  
"See? He tries to act like a hardass, but he's really just a..."

  
"Okay, okay Winchester. I have a reputation to keep." Cas looked Dean over. "So uh... what's with the jersey? Thought it was gonna be blue and silver?"

  
"Well, it was gonna be. And then I found out that I'd have to live there most of the year and that just doesn't work so I sighed closer to home."

  
Cas smiled and kissed him again. "Thank goodness for that. Dallas sucks anyways." He smiled. "Either way, I get to see you run around in spandex longer, so I'm not upset."

  
Dean rolled his eyes. "Though you'd like that." He smiled.

  
Cas smiled that crooked smile of his. "Wanna sing a song with me? I know you know all my songs, including all the new ones."

  
Dean smiled and looked down at his feet. Cas turned to the crowd.

  
"Who thinks Dean should sing with me?!"

  
The crowd went nuts. Cas looked at Dean. Holding the mic away. "It's not like you haven't sang with me before."

  
Dean looked up at him. "That was different. We were teenagers in my living room. You know, with no people watching."

  
"Come on. After everything we've been through, this will be easy. Just keep your eyes on me Winchester."

  
Dean watched as Cas walked to the other side of the stage. He nervously tapped the mic with his finger. Adam handed Dean a guitar. Dean took it and looked at Cas.

"What are we singing?"

  
Cas smiled at him. "You'll know when it starts."

  
The background music started. Cas pulled the keyboard in front of him and sang.

  
_**Once upon a time** _   
_**I used to romanticize** _   
_**Used to be somebody, never mind** _   
_**Don't miss it that much now** _   
_**I think it's sinking in** _   
_**Days that I wonder where I've been** _   
_**In picture perfect porcelain** _   
_**But I won't lose a pound** _   
_**He started playing the keyboard, Dean joined in singing.** _   
_**You say I would make a better liar** _   
_**And never face the music when it's dire** _   
_**And I breathe disaster, ever after** _   
_**Don't pull away from me now** _   
_**Cas sang by himself.** _   
_**Don't you move** _   
_**Can't you stay where you are, just for now** _   
_**I could be your perfect disaster** _   
_**You could be my ever after** _   
_**You could be my ever after, after all** _   
_**I could be your perfect disaster** _   
_**You could be my ever after** _   
_**Dean played the guitar.** _   
_**Apologies, I'm not myself but I can guarantee** _   
_**That when I get back, you won't believe** _   
_**That you knew me well** _   
_**Don't want to think about it** _   
_**I'm fuckin' tired of getting sick about it** _   
_**Now stand back up and be a man about it** _   
_**And fight for something, fight for something, fight for something, oh** _   
_**They both sang.** _   
_**I would make a better liar** _   
_**And never face the music when it's dire** _   
_**And I breathe disaster, ever after** _   
_**Don't pull away from me now** _   
_**Cas pulled his guitar in front of him and played along with Dean** _   
_**Don't you move** _   
_**Can't you stay where you are, just for now** _   
_**I could be your perfect disaster** _   
_**You could my ever after** _   
_**Now you could be my ever after, after all** _   
_**I could be your perfect disaster** _   
_**You could be my ever after** _   
_**The both sang.** _   
_**Nobody told ya this is gonna fold ya** _   
_**We go marching in like toy soldiers** _   
_**To have and hold ya over sold ya** _   
_**They’re marching like toy soldiers** _   
_**Cas sang by himself.** _   
_**Somehow don't you dare fail, fail me now, ever after** _   
_**Somehow don't you dare fail, fail me now, ever after** _   
_**Somehow** _   
_**Dean sang.** _   
_**(Face the music when it's dire)** _   
_**Cas sang.** _   
_**Once upon a time** _   
_**This place was beautiful and mine** _   
_**But now it's just a bottom line,** _   
_**Barely comes to mind** _   
_**But ever after was mine** _   
_**I'll be your disaster, ever after** _   
_**So fire away** _   
_**Goodbye** _

  
The audience erupted as soon as the last chord rang out. Cas put a fist in the air and grinned at Dean, who was laughing.

  
"See, guys? He's more than just a spandex­ clad ass."

Cas pulled Dean in and kissed him. Dean didn't think it was possible for the crowd to get any louder, but they did as soon as Cas kissed him.   
Cas pulled back after a few seconds.

"See? I knew you had it in ya."

He smiled. Dean laughed.

"Yeah, well, I think I'll leave this profession to you."

  
Cas turned back to the crowd. "Alright, bitches. I'm out. You've been super fucking amazing as always. And now..." He looked over at Dean. "...I'm gonna go have sex with that smokin' hot quarterback over there, even though he's way out of my league. Goodnight!" He took Dean by the hand and began to walk toward the   
back of the stage.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

 

Dean was walking down the hall, heading toward the room he shared with Cas. Suddenly, he looked up, raised an eyebrow, and backed up. Cas was in Naomi’s room. He watched for a moment as Cas searched frantically for who knows what.

 

“Babe?”

 

Cas jumped up and turned around. “Yeah?”

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Trying to figure what’s wrong with our daughter.”

 

Dean sighed. “Cas, there is nothing wrong with her. She’s fifteen and moody. It’s normal.” Cas had stopped listening and was reaching under the bed. Dean walked in the room.   
  
“Okay, Castiel, let’s go…” Dean reached for Cas’ arm. Cas had a hand under Naomi’s pillow, quickly pulling out a small pink book.

 

“YES! Found it!” He stood up and looked at Dean, eyes wide and a huge smile on his face. He looked down at the cover, reading the writing on it out loud. “Property of Naomi Claire Winchester. Do not read! That means both of you, Dad and Daddy!” Cas had a shocked look on his face. “Are you fucking kidding me?!” Dean took the book from his hands.

 

“You can’t read her diary. It’s her private… thoughts and stuff or whatever.”

 

“But she’s been so quiet lately and I need to know why,” Cas whined.

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “I told you. It’s normal. When she starts sneaking around and wearing the same outfit two days in a row, then game on. But right now we’re putting this back.”

 

Cas crossed his arms. “She’s pretty smart. Could be hiding something. You know, she IS a lot like me…” Dean hit Cas on the top of the head with the diary.

 

Cas rubbed his head. “Ow...what was that for?”

 

“After all these years, you haven't changed one bit.”

 

“Oh like you want me to.”

 

“You're still not reading it.” Dean put the book back under the pillow where Cas had found it.

 

“You're serious about this. I can't read it?”

 

“No, you turd.” Dean held his hand out to Cas and smiled. “Come on.”.

 

Cas rolled his eyes and smiled at Dean, taking his hand. “Fine. But you have to leave sometime and I'll be unsupervised.”

 

Dean kissed Cas on the lips. “I'll just have Charlie stay here then.”

 

“Oh come on...Charlie has gotten worse than Ellen.”

 

“Exactly.” Dean pushed Cas out the door into the hallway. “Let's go, rockstar. Out.” The two men walked toward their room. Cas looked around.

 

“Are the kids home?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Dammit…”

 

Naomi poked her head out of the bathroom and watched Dean and Cas walk away. She grinned and darted out, heading into her room and closing the door behind her. She checked under her pillow.

 

“Phew. They bought it.” She tossed the pink book back on the bed and opened the drawer to her nightstand, opening the trick bottom that she made in it. In it was another pink book.

 

“Well, he’s right about one thing. I did get his brain.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. As a whole, how did you enjoy the story? I absolutely loved writing this! 
> 
> So...
> 
> Until the sequel...
> 
> LOVE Y'ALL!


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